In her place 100 candles burning
I was in a good mood a few days ago. What happened to that? Why do I only ever post on here when I'm feeling sad or reflective? Who can say?
My sister had her second abortion last week.
Her first was when she was sixteen, she's now eighteen. The first time, I was fine with her having the pregnancy aborted, because that's what she wanted. Besides that, she was, at the time, annorexic and underweight, so the baby would have harmed her anyway. But this time it was different.
She's healthy, she's in a supposedly stable relationship, she's somehow managing to stay afloat financially. A baby would certainly complicate things, but she could manage. We could all manage. She even wanted a baby. Really, really wanted one.
But her boyfriend said no. And that was that.
He refused to discuss the baby or the abortion, and just told my sister to deal with it. Isn't that just the most revolting thing you've ever heard? Deal with it. As if the process of life is something so simple as to be dealt with. But, deal with it my sister did. She put him before her unborn child and had it aborted.
Just recently, my other two sisters have both had their second sons. So the family is suddenly inundated with infants, just when it is the most painful for Aunty "Rara" as Lachlan so affectionately calls her.
My sister is great with children. She's patient and caring, but still firm and strong. No one handles kids as well as she does.
So why did she have to, essentially, kill her own child?
Just to satisfy the selfish wants of her loser boyfriend. God, I could just kill him. I don't think I have ever relished the thought of causing another pain as much as I do now with him. He will get his comeuppance. I have to believe that or I'll go insane.
But what if my sister, the one who could raise children so deftly, has been damaged by this continual strain on her child-bearing faculties?
What if there's excessive scar tissue and if she were one day to try to have children, they would end in miscarriage?
Can you imagine how painful that would be? I couldn't bear to see her like that!
You know, my sister fancied that her baby would have been a girl. She would have called her Lily. I only have nephews, so she's the last hope for female children in the next generation of our family, as I doubt I'll ever be in the position to raise children. I would have loved that little girl so much! I would have played dolls with her, and bought her dresses and taught her about boys and...
But that will never happen now. Because that little girl is dead.
And her father is the murderer.
If there is a god, he is blind to the lives of human beings. Because nothing and no one could abide such a travesty as this. I know I can't.
So if I seem angry or upset about anything in the next few days/weeks/months/years it is because I'm grieving for my lost little flower, trampled under the foot of an uncaring man.
Fuck you. Fuck you and every other man who has ruthlessly crushed a woman with the guilt of destroying her own baby. I curse all of you, miserable swines, and I hope that someday you suffer at least as much as my sister is right now.
FILTHY FILTHY UGLY MEN!!! I hate you all.
My sister had her second abortion last week.
Her first was when she was sixteen, she's now eighteen. The first time, I was fine with her having the pregnancy aborted, because that's what she wanted. Besides that, she was, at the time, annorexic and underweight, so the baby would have harmed her anyway. But this time it was different.
She's healthy, she's in a supposedly stable relationship, she's somehow managing to stay afloat financially. A baby would certainly complicate things, but she could manage. We could all manage. She even wanted a baby. Really, really wanted one.
But her boyfriend said no. And that was that.
He refused to discuss the baby or the abortion, and just told my sister to deal with it. Isn't that just the most revolting thing you've ever heard? Deal with it. As if the process of life is something so simple as to be dealt with. But, deal with it my sister did. She put him before her unborn child and had it aborted.
Just recently, my other two sisters have both had their second sons. So the family is suddenly inundated with infants, just when it is the most painful for Aunty "Rara" as Lachlan so affectionately calls her.
My sister is great with children. She's patient and caring, but still firm and strong. No one handles kids as well as she does.
So why did she have to, essentially, kill her own child?
Just to satisfy the selfish wants of her loser boyfriend. God, I could just kill him. I don't think I have ever relished the thought of causing another pain as much as I do now with him. He will get his comeuppance. I have to believe that or I'll go insane.
But what if my sister, the one who could raise children so deftly, has been damaged by this continual strain on her child-bearing faculties?
What if there's excessive scar tissue and if she were one day to try to have children, they would end in miscarriage?
Can you imagine how painful that would be? I couldn't bear to see her like that!
You know, my sister fancied that her baby would have been a girl. She would have called her Lily. I only have nephews, so she's the last hope for female children in the next generation of our family, as I doubt I'll ever be in the position to raise children. I would have loved that little girl so much! I would have played dolls with her, and bought her dresses and taught her about boys and...
But that will never happen now. Because that little girl is dead.
And her father is the murderer.
If there is a god, he is blind to the lives of human beings. Because nothing and no one could abide such a travesty as this. I know I can't.
So if I seem angry or upset about anything in the next few days/weeks/months/years it is because I'm grieving for my lost little flower, trampled under the foot of an uncaring man.
Fuck you. Fuck you and every other man who has ruthlessly crushed a woman with the guilt of destroying her own baby. I curse all of you, miserable swines, and I hope that someday you suffer at least as much as my sister is right now.
FILTHY FILTHY UGLY MEN!!! I hate you all.