Steps in the wrong direction
I haven't posted in...well forever. But you all know that so, enough said.
Lately I have been in one of those "wondering who I am" modes, trying to "find myself" in the midst of life. It happends when I have too many ideas flowing though my head about what I want to do with life. It happends when I have too much time on my hands. And I really do. Though hopefully that will end tomorrow. I have been between jobs. Construction, while a learning experience, and interesting in some ways, was overall boreing to me. It was a puzzle to figure out how to keep this wall strait, while putting up this wall, and keeping everything strait square and plum, but as the newer employee that really wasn't my job, that was someone elses. My job was to nail, pound and place. Which doesn't mean I didn't help with the straid square and plum part of it, but that part seemed the only part I liked, the puzzle to solve. Almost a month ago now I sprained my wrist, which put me on disability for Construction since any use of it in that capacity would cause more damage. Well I had already been applying for a substitute teacher job at my local school district so I did my best to get that done. All I have to say is that Masters college is slow on paperwork. It took two weeks for them to get my transcripts to the school district. That happend Thursday. I even got a call for a subistitute position that night for the next day. And of course, that ment that the next three school days, Firday, yesterday and today, had to be snow days. That's how much time on my hands I have. Way too much.
I really wish I knew who I was so I could get on with life... I know, that sounds as silly to me as it does to you, so don't worry.
I think what I really wish is that I knew people in the writing business, teaching business (though I do there, I just need to talk to them), even computer gaming business that I could talk to. What did it take to get you where you are? What sacrifices did you have to make? What do you regret and what do you remember fondly?
I hate the feeling of being pulled in so many directions at once. I wish I could be interested in one thing, and be able to focus on that without distractions of what else would I want to do. Where do I start, where do I stay, and where do I just move on?
At least I am able to get to the 'start' at least on one of those things. The substitute position. I know it isn't real teaching in many respects, but it is a chance to be in a class room, and enough of the teachers there know me well enough to know I can teach most everything in high school. One of my old math teachers was excited when she heard the news. She still remembered me after six years, a gotee and long hair. That ment a lot to me. I know that half the math department will call me now when they need a sub. And that is fine with me. Math has always been my favorite subject to teach. Numbers are easy to explain for me.
So here is to hoping that it is a step that will teach me something. It doesn't even have to be in the right direction, just a step. A chance to figure out if this teaching thing is something for me, or if it is something fun, yet not my life goal.
Enjoy each step in life.
Lately I have been in one of those "wondering who I am" modes, trying to "find myself" in the midst of life. It happends when I have too many ideas flowing though my head about what I want to do with life. It happends when I have too much time on my hands. And I really do. Though hopefully that will end tomorrow. I have been between jobs. Construction, while a learning experience, and interesting in some ways, was overall boreing to me. It was a puzzle to figure out how to keep this wall strait, while putting up this wall, and keeping everything strait square and plum, but as the newer employee that really wasn't my job, that was someone elses. My job was to nail, pound and place. Which doesn't mean I didn't help with the straid square and plum part of it, but that part seemed the only part I liked, the puzzle to solve. Almost a month ago now I sprained my wrist, which put me on disability for Construction since any use of it in that capacity would cause more damage. Well I had already been applying for a substitute teacher job at my local school district so I did my best to get that done. All I have to say is that Masters college is slow on paperwork. It took two weeks for them to get my transcripts to the school district. That happend Thursday. I even got a call for a subistitute position that night for the next day. And of course, that ment that the next three school days, Firday, yesterday and today, had to be snow days. That's how much time on my hands I have. Way too much.
I really wish I knew who I was so I could get on with life... I know, that sounds as silly to me as it does to you, so don't worry.
I think what I really wish is that I knew people in the writing business, teaching business (though I do there, I just need to talk to them), even computer gaming business that I could talk to. What did it take to get you where you are? What sacrifices did you have to make? What do you regret and what do you remember fondly?
I hate the feeling of being pulled in so many directions at once. I wish I could be interested in one thing, and be able to focus on that without distractions of what else would I want to do. Where do I start, where do I stay, and where do I just move on?
At least I am able to get to the 'start' at least on one of those things. The substitute position. I know it isn't real teaching in many respects, but it is a chance to be in a class room, and enough of the teachers there know me well enough to know I can teach most everything in high school. One of my old math teachers was excited when she heard the news. She still remembered me after six years, a gotee and long hair. That ment a lot to me. I know that half the math department will call me now when they need a sub. And that is fine with me. Math has always been my favorite subject to teach. Numbers are easy to explain for me.
So here is to hoping that it is a step that will teach me something. It doesn't even have to be in the right direction, just a step. A chance to figure out if this teaching thing is something for me, or if it is something fun, yet not my life goal.
Enjoy each step in life.