(no subject)
How often do you pray for your enemies, for those who persecute you?
I did it for was the first serious time recently. I don't quite remember how it felt. It was a little freeing. A bit invigorating. But only for about five minutes. Then I had to get back and deal with it. There are two boys here who want to see me fall. One in particular, but the other follows his lead like a cop on a red convertable. See, I've never really had an enemy. Not a personal one. Sure I've known enemies of the faith, but no one who is my enemy, who only wants to see me fall. It feels so strange to me. I've seen people slander me, spread rumors and mock me, but it was not because they wanted me to fall, but because they wanted to exault themselves in their own eyes and in the eyes of others. These boys want me to fall. They have done so much to try to get Mr. Boldman to fire me. Take for instance the situation when they were riding in my car. It was Sunday night and we were playing basketball at the local high school gym like we normally do. People from the church come out and we get some fun games going. It was about 9:00 and since I was working the next day and tired I decided to leave early. Some of the boys (who often come only because they have to, some arn't allowed at the house without a mentor) wanted to go home so I thought I'd be nice and take them. The two boys, Matt and Preston, came along with a couple others. The Ford Escort was nice and packed. Now, I had told Matt - and Preston for that matter - that I don't like it when they sing mockingly to my music. They like to bellow out and croon to anything I put in, from U2 to Third Day to Collective Soul. Told them to stop a couple of different times in different car rides. Well we get in the car and I had just pulled out of the parking lot when they start doing it again, this time to Switchfoot. I'm a little tired, like I said, and definitly don't want to deal with this, so I stop the car and turn around. I tell them if they want to be like that they can find another ride home. They get dropped off in front of the school, where one of the other mentors was, and I head back home. Now the next day I found out they had woven a nice tale and told Mr. Boldman. I had, apparently, slammed on my breaks and screached to a halt (now I did stop farely fast, but no skidding or screaching happened), told them to get out and made them walk the quarter mile back to the gym that I had driven. All for them singing along normally to a band they liked. Well, don't worry, Mr. Boldman didn't swallow it for a second. And on top of that one of the other kids who was there was correcting them every step of the way.
Now I understand that a typical boy wouldn't like to get out of a car he is in when it is on the way home, but I wonder what I have done to earn their hatred. Even before that event, every time I told them they need to do something, like their chore or even that it is time to go, they didn't respond well. Now with Matt it is like an offense every time I talk to him, and often with Preston, but only when he remembers and is around Matt.
I was wondering those things when I had asked myself when was the last time I prayed for those boys. Not just a prayer of 'God help me with them' or 'Help them to change.' I wondered when I had last prayed for their immortal souls and realized it was never. I had become so caught up with the day to day changes we are trying to help them make that I forgot the most important change. "God call them to you. Save them, undeserving as they are, I deserve no better."
They both come from religous backgrounds (most of the boys do), Matt from a contemporary prodestant church and Preston from the Catholic faith. They don't care, though. They will say they are 'Christian' or 'Catholic' when they think it is to their advantage, but only then. There hasn't been any changes, so I have realized I am no miracle worker. It is just something I am going to have to pray about more. It's His work, His will, yet He commands me to insert what I will, and what I think He wills. If I were God I could think of a few better ways to do it, so I am glad I am not God.
Anyways, Gotta go. Battery is dying and I am sitting infront of a closed cafe at 12:30, using their internet and looking like someone tihnking about how to break in.
I did it for was the first serious time recently. I don't quite remember how it felt. It was a little freeing. A bit invigorating. But only for about five minutes. Then I had to get back and deal with it. There are two boys here who want to see me fall. One in particular, but the other follows his lead like a cop on a red convertable. See, I've never really had an enemy. Not a personal one. Sure I've known enemies of the faith, but no one who is my enemy, who only wants to see me fall. It feels so strange to me. I've seen people slander me, spread rumors and mock me, but it was not because they wanted me to fall, but because they wanted to exault themselves in their own eyes and in the eyes of others. These boys want me to fall. They have done so much to try to get Mr. Boldman to fire me. Take for instance the situation when they were riding in my car. It was Sunday night and we were playing basketball at the local high school gym like we normally do. People from the church come out and we get some fun games going. It was about 9:00 and since I was working the next day and tired I decided to leave early. Some of the boys (who often come only because they have to, some arn't allowed at the house without a mentor) wanted to go home so I thought I'd be nice and take them. The two boys, Matt and Preston, came along with a couple others. The Ford Escort was nice and packed. Now, I had told Matt - and Preston for that matter - that I don't like it when they sing mockingly to my music. They like to bellow out and croon to anything I put in, from U2 to Third Day to Collective Soul. Told them to stop a couple of different times in different car rides. Well we get in the car and I had just pulled out of the parking lot when they start doing it again, this time to Switchfoot. I'm a little tired, like I said, and definitly don't want to deal with this, so I stop the car and turn around. I tell them if they want to be like that they can find another ride home. They get dropped off in front of the school, where one of the other mentors was, and I head back home. Now the next day I found out they had woven a nice tale and told Mr. Boldman. I had, apparently, slammed on my breaks and screached to a halt (now I did stop farely fast, but no skidding or screaching happened), told them to get out and made them walk the quarter mile back to the gym that I had driven. All for them singing along normally to a band they liked. Well, don't worry, Mr. Boldman didn't swallow it for a second. And on top of that one of the other kids who was there was correcting them every step of the way.
Now I understand that a typical boy wouldn't like to get out of a car he is in when it is on the way home, but I wonder what I have done to earn their hatred. Even before that event, every time I told them they need to do something, like their chore or even that it is time to go, they didn't respond well. Now with Matt it is like an offense every time I talk to him, and often with Preston, but only when he remembers and is around Matt.
I was wondering those things when I had asked myself when was the last time I prayed for those boys. Not just a prayer of 'God help me with them' or 'Help them to change.' I wondered when I had last prayed for their immortal souls and realized it was never. I had become so caught up with the day to day changes we are trying to help them make that I forgot the most important change. "God call them to you. Save them, undeserving as they are, I deserve no better."
They both come from religous backgrounds (most of the boys do), Matt from a contemporary prodestant church and Preston from the Catholic faith. They don't care, though. They will say they are 'Christian' or 'Catholic' when they think it is to their advantage, but only then. There hasn't been any changes, so I have realized I am no miracle worker. It is just something I am going to have to pray about more. It's His work, His will, yet He commands me to insert what I will, and what I think He wills. If I were God I could think of a few better ways to do it, so I am glad I am not God.
Anyways, Gotta go. Battery is dying and I am sitting infront of a closed cafe at 12:30, using their internet and looking like someone tihnking about how to break in.