Vampire Diaries S03E04 - Disturbing Behavior
It's time for Ashe watches shows and shares her feelings. Yay feelings! This week (for a given definition of week, since this'll really probably happen every few days), we're watching The Vampire Diaries. The episode is called Disturbing Behavior. I'm ready to take bets on whether this is referring to Damon or Stefan. Or both. Point is Salvatores have it in them to be disturbing. I'm going ahead and calling Damon. Stefan's been disturbing the past few episodes. It's more than Damon's turn.
Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Katherine and Klaus are like "Damon loves Stefan's girlfriend". Stefan gavs Elena his ex-girlfriend's necklace, because he's a classy fucker like that. Elena is a stalker and Stefan's like GTFO. Bill is a worse dad than Noah Bennet. Klaus needs to talk to dead people. Maybe he should talk to Jeremy. He needs his sister's necklace. But...oops. Stefan gave that away. This won't be awkward at all.
Now for some Disturbing Behavior. Yay!
Chicago: Stefan and Klaus are drinking booze while Rebekah shops. Rebekah is basically like "Why are modern clothes basically hooker clothes?" PS - She looks hot. She also hates modern music. I like Rebekah. She makes perfect sense for someone abruptly moved from the 1920's to the 2010's. Stefan looks about as bored as any man would be with a shopping trip. Klaus really seems to enjoy it, weirdly enough. I think he just delights in his sister's annoyance, like any good brother. Klaus is pissy that Rebekah doesn't have her necklace, and she basically tells him not to be a grumpypants. She asks Stefan how she looks and he says he likes it, but Rebekah has magic powers of calling Bullshit on Stefan. Stefan and Klaus mock Rebekah because they're bros. Side note - I keep wanting to call her Victoria. No idea why.
Suddenly, a wild Katherine appears. She uses Look Really Hot. It's super effective. Stefan uses Sneak and follows her.
Mystic Falls: Elena is cooking chili for yet another Founder's something-or-other. Haven't people in Mystic Falls learned not to have functions? Maybe if they did, they'd have more than 12 people in their town. Damon is like "Everyone makes chili". This is usually true of events like that. Nine people make chili, six bring hot dogs, nobody brings any fucking buns and I just want some fricking pasta salad. Ric comes in. Good to see he's remembered what a shower is. And a hairbrush. Still scruffy, but good scruffy. He's all "Founder's parties aren't really my thing SINCE YOUR IDIOCY GOT MY GIRLFRIEND KILLED." Okay, I might have made up that last bit. Elena is mid-eyerolling when Damon continues to mock her about her chili. Hilarity ensues:
"It's an old family recipe."
"Yeah. I know. I knew your old family. They made sucky chili."
Elena and Damon are flirty and bantery while Alaric side-eyes them hardcore and awkward turtles. He's very "Why are you here? I wasn't even awake until five minutes ago." Again, might have made that last part up. I do like that Alaric seems to think Damon doesn't actually hang out with anyone but him. But Damon's apparently just there to wait for Elena to break down and start crying. Presumably so he can console her. With his penis. Apparently her coping mechanism is chili. Damon calls her on being in denial, since she's still wearing her plot device...I mean necklace.
Back in Chicago: Stefan uses Disinterest. It misses. Katherine uses Snark. It misses, but she looks hot. Stefan uses GTFO and I Don't Want Klaus to Kill You. Combo! Katherine uses You Still Care. She has a cute smile when she's mocking him. Stefan does noting. Katherine uses Insight. It's super effective. Stefan attempts Flee. It fails. Katherine attempts to learn Stefan's plan and he bullshits. Katherine sees through his bullshitting and is basically like "If you try to be diabolical, you'll fail." Oh, Kat. I missed you. He flatters her. She is unimpressed.
"Oh right. I forgot. You're 'bad' now."
Never leave me, Kat. Because she is bad. She doesn't play it. She knows eventually Stefan will go into a shame spiral and become lame again and she's not impressed. She, on the other hand, never regrets things and is always a fierce bitch. Also? She's totes jealous of Rebekah. Stefan throws the still caring back in her face. Ohmigod, guys! Just have hatesex already. What's hard about that? Don't answer that, I completely walked into that one. /Facepalm
Back in Mystic Falls: Jeremy is napping. Suddenly a wild Anna appears. Okay, stopping the Pokemon references. He freaks out. She freaks out. God, she's pretty. Seriously, show. Your cast is far too attractive. Where's the ugly one? For realism's sake. Jeremy babbles and Anna's like "OMFG JUST TELL ME YOU CAN HEAR ME". He's like "Yeah" and she's like "Dude, I've been trying for days." Apparently he was dreaming about her. So...his ghost power is enhanced by wet dreams? I ship Jeremy/Anna so fucking hard. It's not even funny.
Caroline comes over, looking fabulous and bringing...something in a bowl that may or may not be chili and is probably chili. And also Bonnie! I may blow hot and cold on Bonnie as a character, but Kat Graham is really pretty. Hugs for all! I really have missed Bonnie, weird to say. Jeremy sees Bonnie and they hug...while his dead girlfriend watches. THIS WON'T BE AWKWARD AT ALL!
Meanwhile, in another part of Mystic Falls...
"So...Mayor Lockwood called your gay ex-husband to torture your vampire daughter?"
Ladies and gentlemen, I move that Damon just be allowed to recap everything. All in favour? Because that was kind of hilarious. Oh Damon and Liz. I love them as friends. Also Liz is smart. She totally locked Bill up to let the vervain wear off so Damon can compel him. Damon, of course is like "...Can't we just kill him?" And she's like "No" because he's Carebear's dad. He calls Bill a douchebag. She points out that just because she's cool with Damon doesn't mean she's cool with all vampires. Have I mentioned I really like their friendship? Because I do.
"You know...just because you and I are on okay terms, doesn't mean I'm suddenly a big advocate for your lifestyle."
"Is that what you told him when you two divorced?"
His face. It's hilariously cheeky. And she's just used to it. And I love them. So they go down to the Forbes's Secret Lair where Bill is tied to the chair he tied Caroline to. I appreciate that. Bill's pissy about Liz bringing a vampire.
"So, Bill...I hear you're into the whole daddy-daughter vampire torture thing."
"I was just trying to help her."
"Well, if there's anyone who doesn't need help, it's your annoying control freak of a daughter."
I LOL almost every time that boy speaks. But it's true. Caroline is a HBIC and doesn't need help or to change or to be fixed or anything like that. She really doesn't. She is flawless. Anyway, Damon noms him slightly to check for vervain, then asks him why he thinks he can change a vampire's nature.
"The mind's a powerful tool. You can be trained and retrained. You just have to be strong enough."
"I completely agree. I happen to love mind control myself."
Calling it now. Bill can resist compulsion. Because he's Noah fucking Bennet. Anyway, Damon compells him (or does he?) to leave town and not remember anything except coming to take his daughter back-to-school shopping. Nice touch, Damon.
Back in Chicago: Stefan returns to his boyfriend and girlfriend. Shut up. They give off that vibe. Somewhere in the time he was gone, Becks (I'm calling her that now. Deal.) got over her issue with hooker clothes and is lounging on the bar. She looks hot and pouty and wonders where he was. Klaus is a grumpypants because Gloria can't find the necklace. Becks offers to let Gloria channel her (wink wink nudge nudge? Shut up. I ship everyone/everyone.) since she wore it forever. Stefan is totally rolling low on his wits + subterfuge checks. Luckily Klaus is rolling lower.
Back in Mystic Falls: Bonnie's normal summer was boring. Caroline is jealous of boring. I would be two if my gay daddy tortured me. Elena is still making chili. Bonnie is judgey about Damon. Elena scolds and gets burned by her necklace. I genuinely thought for a second Bonnie was being a petty bitch, and was really disappointed when that wasn't the case. Nope, Gloria is in the process of finding the necklace. Caroline is judgey too. Her judginess is cuter. The necklace attacks Bonnie too.
Back in Chicago: And Gloria's found the necklace. Oh noes! But she can't say where it is. She just knows a girl has it. A dead girl, according to Becks, who wants to get her murder on. Gloria can dive back in. But she needs time. And space because Klaus is "harshing her juju". Really, Julie Plec? Really? Stefan distracts Klaus by telling him he's hungry and Klaus can pick who they eat. That so sounded like a pick up line. They head out to grab a...bite. Yeah. I went there.
Back in Mystic Falls: At yet another Founders event, Bonnie has a spell to identify the magic on the necklace. She needs them to keep a lookout in case anyone wonders why the weird chick is doing magic in public. Why not just do this at home, Bonnie? Caroline takes the opportunity to be the voice of experience and remind Elena that Damon's (probably spectacular) penis is not worth the emotional pain of being with him. In fewer, and by fewer I mean different, words. I kind of agree with her viewpoint. She's not saying there's anything wrong with Damon, just that he's not right for Elena.
Over with Ric, Damon and ALL THE CHILI, we learn why there's a Founder's event every four days. It's so the Council can meet up and be sneaky. Seriousy, guys? You can't just have weekly meetings and say you're a town planning committee? You need to gather people en masse to be murdered once a week? Ric takes the opportunity to suggest Damon maybe doesn't want to put his penis inside his brother's emotionally vulnerable ex who is way too young for him and wants to change him. Also in fewer, and by fewer I mean different, words. I like that he's finally stepping into the pseudo-dad role that got chucked at him. And I really like how he doesn't back down with Damon. Damon needs that in his life. Liz breaks up an impending couple's spat by coming to get Damon for the Council meeting.
Back in Chicago: Klaus and Stefan are snacking on some ladies and Becks is jealous...I mean...bored. Stefan and Klaus are dicks to Becks and she is pouty about it. Klaus calls her a brat and she says she's not, but she really really is. Stefan proceeds to tell Klaus he's kind of a dick and makes Stefan want to kill himself, then goes off.
"Where's he going?"
"To write a name on a wall. Long story."
Dear Vampire Diaries,
I love this thing you have called continuity. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Love, Me
Back in Mystic Falls: Jeremy sneaks off for an illicit meeting with his dead girlfriend. People in Mystic Falls need to do stealthy better. Of course, they also need to do observant better, so it balances out. Please that Jeremy is apologising to his dead girlfriend for spending time with his living girlfriend. Oh Jeremy, honey. Anna wants him to tell Bonnie though. Because she's not a moron. She pretty much says Vicki isn't Vicki. Anna is so pretty and I want to hug her. She's all alone. And then Jeremy realises he can touch ghosts. And all sorts of smutfics are born.
Back in Chicago: Stefan sneaks off to visit Gloria. She knows Stefan knows where the necklace is, but doesn't actually want to help Klaus. She just wants the necklace. Oh, she's gonna be dead. Gloria tries to blackmail Stefan. Stefan tries to kill Gloria. Gloria gives Stefan aneurysms. Point to Gloria. She's still gonna die though. And it looks like it's time for our weekly torture session. I swear, more often than not a shirtless person on this show points to torture not sex. Gloria's brand of magic involves a lot more sharp things and blood than Bonnie's. And she used the V-word. Voodoo, not vagina...though that would be funny. Pardon me while I facepalm. Stefan...grunts a lot.
"Herbs help too."
Guessing she means...yep. Vervain. She is a cold bitch.
Back in Mystic Falls: The Watcher's Council...sorry...Founder's Council meets to discuss how there are definitely no vampires in Mystic Falls. Except that one on the Council. And the Sheriff's daughter. Oh, and the mayor's son is a werewolf. But other than that, none. There's a lot of extras on the Council. Guess they're all Fells. The lying liars who lie convene by the booze when Bill shows up and calls them out on being lying liars. But not in front of the rest of the Council. Missed opportunity there, gay daddy Forbes.
Meanwile Bonnie and Jeremy do research. And I do mean research, not sex. Bonnie can't ask the dead witches for help because they're ignoring her. I guess failing to kill a hybrid and then bringing back a dead boyfriend put you in their bad books. Jeremy didn't know about that, and she feels bad for lying. But he tells her it's fine. Unsurprising since he's lying about his ghost affair. And then Anna tells Jeremy the darkness is there, and the books burst into flames. Bonnie puts the fire out but it's still freaky.
Back in Chicago: Gloria realises Stefan loves necklace-girl and necklace-girl is the doppelganger. Oh shit son. But Kat shows up in the nick of time for a good neck-stabbing. CALLED IT! Bye bye Gloria. Take notes, Bonnie. This is what happens when you get in too deep.
Back in Mystic Falls: Caroline and Elena are chatting about the necklace. Ric is boozy and really wants to leave.
"Where's Damon?"
"Probably off somewhere doing bad things to good people. Consider me the honesty police."
I love that Carebear just tells it like it is. Speaking of bad things to good people, Care spots her dad and runs off. And Elena says exactly what I did to Ric. Damon catches up to them and tells them Bill is impervious to compulsion. CALLED IT!
"How?"
"I don't know. But he threatened to out me. Don't get me started on the irony of that."
I do love the comparison of being gay and being a vampire. Bill really is a hypocrit, even if sexing boys is nothing like eating people. Not like that. Elena, of course, asks what Damon did. She really annoys me.
Damon says Bill wants to control the council because it's been compromised. Ric points out, much as I did above, that it has. They're covering for vampires these days instead of helping people. Bill also wants to put vervain in the town water supply. Again, Ric doesn't think this is an entirely awful idea. Seriously...why is Ric not on the Vampire Council? Ric for Council president as he's the only person in Mystic Falls any more with any sense!
Of course Elena has to go talking about how it'll help Damon control himself. Damon wants to kill Bill. Ha! Kill Bill. Elena objects because he's Caroline's dad. Alaric objects because murder is wrong. Seriously, Elena...get your priorities straight. Ric stands up to Damon, because he's a white hat.
"Step aside."
"Yeah, it's not gonna happen."
"Your temporary funeral."
And then he snaps Ric's neck. Okay, yes he made sure the ring was there. Yes he was pissed. But he's a vampire. He could have sped around Ric. He didn't have to kill him. There was absolutely no reason that was necessary. Elena wants to know wtf is wrong with him, but he just goes off to kill himself a gay daddy Forbes while Elena watches with surprise. Why are you surprised, Elena?
Dear Damon,
Killing your bestie because you're in a mood is not cool. I sense a friend divorce coming up.
Love, Me
Back in Chicago: Katherine and Stefan deal with Gloria's body. Katherine basically insinuates Stefan is doing what she did with him and Damon, but with Klaus and Becks. See? Boyfriend and girlfriend. She wants to know what he gets out of it. Besides sex?
"You know, it's funny. You keep talking to me like I actually trust you enough to tell you anything."
"Oh, come on Stefan. We're beyond that. I saved you from Hilda the High Voodoo priestess."
That just makes me giggle. Hilda the High Voodoo Priestess just sounds like an awesome badguy. So Stefan tells her all about his old-timey adventures with Nik and Becks and the fact that they're running from some kind of vampire hunter. Stefan! Have you not learned from past experience? Never tell Katherine things. It ends badly. This is why you can't have nice things.
"If you're planning on making a move against Klaus, I want in."
"That's good. It's good to want things, Katherine."
I love snarky douche Stefan. He tells Kat that if she's looking for a diabolical partner in crime, she should look elsewhere. Newsflash, Stefan: Her other choice is usually your brother. This is gonna end all kinds of badly.
Back in Mystic Falls: Tyler the littlest werewolf, the one person in Mystic Falls who doesn't go to Founder events apparently, goes up to his room and finds Caroline. She is hiding from gay daddy Forbes. He acts like a nice guy...which is still weird.
"Do you want me to kick his ass?"
"Yes...no. I bought him the shirt he's wearing and it is really expensive."
Oh, Carebear, honey. I love that your reason isn't that he's your dad and you're completely over him torturing you. That's a damn nice shirt and you don't want it ruined. I can get behind that reasoning. I bet Damon could too if you explained that. He's stabbed people over shirts before. He can hold off until gay daddy Forbes changes into something less nice.
Okay, yes, part of it is that he's her dad. And her mom learned to accept her, so maybe he can too. Except he's a bit crazier than her mom. Anyway, Carebear and Tyler the littlest werewolf snuggle for all of four seconds before she tells him he smells gross. Which, of course, leads to sexy times. Right up until Elena calls to sound the alarm about Damon's neck-snapping habits.
So Bill Forbes can resist mind control through willpower and discipline. SERIOUSLY, CALLED IT! Basically he's Noah Bennet with a stake and some vervain. If I didn't want to smack him, he'd be really hot. I love Jack Coleman. ALSO DAMON'S TECHNIQUE IS LAZY! Is anyone really surprised. Hell, I'm shocked he bothers to put on pants most days. Damon, oddly enough, is annoyed by this assertion from gay daddy Forbes but still takes note of it for future reference. I anticipate him practicing to get better.
I'm confused about Bill. He doesn't really believe in a gray area for vampires but he thinks it would be wrong to expose his daughter to the Council. So I guess... Family Duty > Council Duty > Being a decent person? I guess it makes sense in a weird, creepy way.
"I knew what I was risking when I didn't leave town, but I figured you're not self-destructive enough to kill the sheriff's ex-husband."
"That makes you the third person to underestimate me today."
Then he fucking bites him. Seriously, people! Stop underestimating how batshit crazy and self-destructive Damon is. He's a shark in a people suit with a century of trauma and a giant stack of issues on a good day. And this is not a good day.
So Damon noms on gay daddy Forbes a bit and waxes poetic about how blood is better fresh. Nummy. He says he's not going to kill him, just...eat him a bit. Yeah. Totally believe that. Then Caroline knocks him into the wall like the glorious HBIC she is and throws him through a window thing. God, I love Caroline Forbes. She immediately checks on her daddy, like a good girl. Here's hoping he sees what her mom did. That she's good like this and doesn't need fixing. I doubt it'll happen, but I can hope for my Carebear's sake.
"Here. It'll heal you."
"No. I said I'm okay."
"Grow up."
Caroline Forbes, ladies and gentlemen. Supreme goddess and the girl I want to be when I grow up. She doesn't take shit from people, not even her dad, and she's not going to let his stoic vampire hate get him killed. I fucking love her. She makes him drink, then tells Damon to get out. Then backhands him when he tries to call her bluff that totally wasn't a bluff. He throws her on the desk and jumps on top of her...and at Colligo that sentence would mean something else entirely. Here it means he makes serious crazy eyes, chokes her and maybe plans to kill her or at least hurt her a lot while Elena looks on horrified.
"I'm stronger than you, little girl."
"Well I'm angrier."
And then Caroline breaks his grip, headbutts him, throws him across the room and gets her dad the fuck out. God, I need a cigarette after that and I don't even smoke. Seriously. I loved my Carebear in season one...because she's a lot like me with much better clothes. But if you'd told me then that she'd one day take Damon in a fight and win? I'd wonder if you got in season one Jeremy's stash. Of all the characters who've changed, I love her most.
Damon laments the end of "a good girl fight", and Elena once again tries to scold him. STFU, Elena. This is not Stefan you're talking to. You can't control him by giving him puppy eyes. Damon makes a very valid point here. This is no different than how he's always acted. But Elena wants the Stefan type. The self-righteous, self-flagellating guy who acts like a victim of circumstance. That's not Damon. He does bad things and he owns them. And looking at their respective histories, I have to say Damon has the better idea. Elena needs to grow up and stop expecting everyone to be what she wants them to be. That's not how life works, kid.
Over in the land of Jeremy and his girlfriends, Bonnie is cleaning up the ashes when Anna shows up. Jeremy closes the bathroom door...because that's not weird and suspicious...to talk to her. She was trying to warn him, but he's tired of her popping up when he's with Bonnie. She points out she can't pop up if he's not thinking about her. Sounds like something else might be popping up where Jeremy and Anna are concerned. That was a sex joke, by the way. Anna calls Jeremy on still caring about her, and Jeremy acts like a typical teenage boy who's allergic to feelings. He purposefully stops thinking about her and focuses on his living girlfriend. Meanwhile Anna is trapped and alone on the otherside, desperate to make him listen. Dick move, littlest Gilbert. Jeremy goes and tells Bonnie the truth. I expect awkward fallout.
Back in Chicago: Stefan is poking at the coffins where Klaus keeps his relatives when Becks shows up. Klaus is off checking on Gloria. Becks could undagger her siblings, but she won't because Klaus would hunt her down and kill her. Fair enough. Still...you should undagger Elijah. I miss his pretty hair. Stefan asks why she still loves him if he's a vindictive little bastard, and Becks basically says it's a lot of work and she's lazy. I'm paraphrasing. You know what else she's too lazy for? Running from the mystery hunter. Stefan tries to be stealthy and ask about the hunter. Becks doesn't want to talk about it so Stefan tries to backtrack. Becks asks about his dead (but not really) girlfriend and how he's only with Klaus for Damon's sake. She says that's why Klaus mancrushes...I mean...respects Stefan. Loyalty to family.
Becks swears him to secrecy on that last bit, then mouth-rapes...I mean...kisses him. Stefan tries to kiss back but he's just not that into her. Becks asks if he could ever love anyone, and by anyone she means her, like he loved the dead (but not) girlfriend. He says maybe and she calls bullshit. Then she tells Klaus that Stefan is hiding something and he was asking about Michael. Talk about a vindictive little bitch. Klaus bitchslaps Stefan.
Back in Mystic Falls: Somewhere along the way, Damon learned that making your best friend a drink will totally make up for killing him. This isn't actually true at all. If you ever temporarily kill a friend, don't try this. It will end badly. Yes, Ric's an alcoholic, but still...one drink isn't gonna make up for getting his neck snapped. Damon mocks him for taking a while to come back.
"You killed me."
"You pissed me off."
"YOU KILLED ME."
Ah, the difference between human and vampire morals. Look, Ric knows Damon isn't a nice guy. He does. Their friendship started with Ric attempting to kill Damon, Damon actually killing Ric, teaming up to fight crime...I mean vampires, and Ric punching Damon in the face. He knows the score, folks. He knows that Damon is a shark in a people suit. And most of the time he's okay with that. But he has lines. The problem is, his lines aren't the same as Damon's lines. Because at the end of the day, he's human and Damon's a vampire.
"Ric! No hard feelings, all right? I was on a bit of a tear and everyone was trying to tell me how to behave."
"Or maybe they finally realised you're just a dick."
There it is. Ric isn't Elena. He doesn't want Damon to be Stefan. He just wants him to not always be a complete asshole. It's not asking a lot. With Ric it's never "Don't ever kill people or compell them." It's "Maybe you shouldn't have a compelled girlfriend. It's creepy." And "Don't kill recklessly. And maybe don't kill my girlfriend's friends." It's like a weird vampire bro code. But the thing is? The first rule of that bro code? DON'T KILL YOUR BROS. Jesus Christ, Damon. The man is your best friend. He's your only friend who really accepts what you are. It's not asking a lot that he expects you not to murder him in a fit of crazy. So Ric leaves. It's all very much like a bro-divorce. I think Ric gets custody of the friends in that one.
Caroline and Elena are walking along and Caroline does that thing where she says I told you so re: Damon by "not saying I told you so". I sort of love-and-hate when people do that, but it really is very Caroline. She then proceeds to flat-out tell Elena that for all she says Damon has to change to be in her life, it's complete bullshit. He's under her skin and she wants to do him "in all his bad brother glory". Thank you, Carebear. She wants Elena to admit it, but Elena refuses because she feels like admitting it makes her a bad person. But Caroline says it just means she's human. Carebear talks so much sense this episode. I adore her.
Then Carebear goes to talk to gay daddy Forbes. They have an almost nice moment. He's gonna go back to Stephen before something kills him. I really want to see Stephen. A lot. I bet he and gay daddy Forbes are cute together. She asks how his neck is and he's all healed up. He thanks her for rescuing him. They kind of smile and he says bye. Maybe there's hope for him after all.
"Daddy? I'm gonna be okay."
"You're a vampire sweetheart. I don't think you'll ever be okay again."
Or not. Dammit, gay daddy Forbes! How hard is it for you to understand? She's a vampire but she's not dead. She's still your daughter. She's still Caroline. She's just more. Why can't you be amazing like Liz? I'm hoping he comes around and sees the light. I also wonder how much of this is internalised issues with his own part of himself that he can't change. What? This show is the product of an out gay man. I would be surprised if they hadn't at least considered that. So gay daddy Forbes leaves Caroline alone with the realisation that she can't rely on her dad any more.
Meanwhile, Ric wants the Gilbert seat on the Council. Good for him. They need someone who isn't going to bend to the vampires. He points out he's the Gilberts' guardian. Carol and Liz are very "That's not how it works. You need to be from a founding family." Newsflash, ladies, you both married into it. Ric completely calls them out on how the Council right now is bullshit. Liz's daughter is a vampire. Carol's son is a werewolf. Damon is a vampire. They need someone on the council who stands for the humans. And he ends it with a "See you next meeting". FUCKING CALLED IT!
Bonnie's at the Grill, being pensive, when Elena comes up and asks about the necklace. She feels weird without it and really wants it back, so Bonnie gives it to her. I'm going ahead and calling it now, because I've actually watched this show the past two seasons. That's Katherine. Totally Katherine. She wants the necklace for whatever devious plans she has in mind. Bonnie? You are the worst witch ever for not realising that's a vampire and not your bestie. But in your defence, you are preoccupied by Jeremy's ghost affair. Bonnie, you need to stop talking to Elena. You always end up telling Katherine shit she really doesn't need to know. She looks away, looks back, and "Elena" is gone. CALLED IT.
So, Kat goes to Damon and propositions him...to be her partner in crime. Damon is sick of everyone trying to get him to not be a douche, so he agrees. CALLED IT.
Back in Chicago(?): Stefan wakes up and tries to explain himself. But Klaus isn't mad. He's just curious. Because Becks is jealous and thinks Stefan's holding on to something from his old life. But, jealous or not, she has good instincts. So...surprise! They're not in Chicago any more. They're in the back of a truck. In Mystic Falls.
In Summation: FUCKING CALLED IT!
Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Katherine and Klaus are like "Damon loves Stefan's girlfriend". Stefan gavs Elena his ex-girlfriend's necklace, because he's a classy fucker like that. Elena is a stalker and Stefan's like GTFO. Bill is a worse dad than Noah Bennet. Klaus needs to talk to dead people. Maybe he should talk to Jeremy. He needs his sister's necklace. But...oops. Stefan gave that away. This won't be awkward at all.
Now for some Disturbing Behavior. Yay!
Chicago: Stefan and Klaus are drinking booze while Rebekah shops. Rebekah is basically like "Why are modern clothes basically hooker clothes?" PS - She looks hot. She also hates modern music. I like Rebekah. She makes perfect sense for someone abruptly moved from the 1920's to the 2010's. Stefan looks about as bored as any man would be with a shopping trip. Klaus really seems to enjoy it, weirdly enough. I think he just delights in his sister's annoyance, like any good brother. Klaus is pissy that Rebekah doesn't have her necklace, and she basically tells him not to be a grumpypants. She asks Stefan how she looks and he says he likes it, but Rebekah has magic powers of calling Bullshit on Stefan. Stefan and Klaus mock Rebekah because they're bros. Side note - I keep wanting to call her Victoria. No idea why.
Suddenly, a wild Katherine appears. She uses Look Really Hot. It's super effective. Stefan uses Sneak and follows her.
Mystic Falls: Elena is cooking chili for yet another Founder's something-or-other. Haven't people in Mystic Falls learned not to have functions? Maybe if they did, they'd have more than 12 people in their town. Damon is like "Everyone makes chili". This is usually true of events like that. Nine people make chili, six bring hot dogs, nobody brings any fucking buns and I just want some fricking pasta salad. Ric comes in. Good to see he's remembered what a shower is. And a hairbrush. Still scruffy, but good scruffy. He's all "Founder's parties aren't really my thing SINCE YOUR IDIOCY GOT MY GIRLFRIEND KILLED." Okay, I might have made up that last bit. Elena is mid-eyerolling when Damon continues to mock her about her chili. Hilarity ensues:
"It's an old family recipe."
"Yeah. I know. I knew your old family. They made sucky chili."
Elena and Damon are flirty and bantery while Alaric side-eyes them hardcore and awkward turtles. He's very "Why are you here? I wasn't even awake until five minutes ago." Again, might have made that last part up. I do like that Alaric seems to think Damon doesn't actually hang out with anyone but him. But Damon's apparently just there to wait for Elena to break down and start crying. Presumably so he can console her. With his penis. Apparently her coping mechanism is chili. Damon calls her on being in denial, since she's still wearing her plot device...I mean necklace.
Back in Chicago: Stefan uses Disinterest. It misses. Katherine uses Snark. It misses, but she looks hot. Stefan uses GTFO and I Don't Want Klaus to Kill You. Combo! Katherine uses You Still Care. She has a cute smile when she's mocking him. Stefan does noting. Katherine uses Insight. It's super effective. Stefan attempts Flee. It fails. Katherine attempts to learn Stefan's plan and he bullshits. Katherine sees through his bullshitting and is basically like "If you try to be diabolical, you'll fail." Oh, Kat. I missed you. He flatters her. She is unimpressed.
"Oh right. I forgot. You're 'bad' now."
Never leave me, Kat. Because she is bad. She doesn't play it. She knows eventually Stefan will go into a shame spiral and become lame again and she's not impressed. She, on the other hand, never regrets things and is always a fierce bitch. Also? She's totes jealous of Rebekah. Stefan throws the still caring back in her face. Ohmigod, guys! Just have hatesex already. What's hard about that? Don't answer that, I completely walked into that one. /Facepalm
Back in Mystic Falls: Jeremy is napping. Suddenly a wild Anna appears. Okay, stopping the Pokemon references. He freaks out. She freaks out. God, she's pretty. Seriously, show. Your cast is far too attractive. Where's the ugly one? For realism's sake. Jeremy babbles and Anna's like "OMFG JUST TELL ME YOU CAN HEAR ME". He's like "Yeah" and she's like "Dude, I've been trying for days." Apparently he was dreaming about her. So...his ghost power is enhanced by wet dreams? I ship Jeremy/Anna so fucking hard. It's not even funny.
Caroline comes over, looking fabulous and bringing...something in a bowl that may or may not be chili and is probably chili. And also Bonnie! I may blow hot and cold on Bonnie as a character, but Kat Graham is really pretty. Hugs for all! I really have missed Bonnie, weird to say. Jeremy sees Bonnie and they hug...while his dead girlfriend watches. THIS WON'T BE AWKWARD AT ALL!
Meanwhile, in another part of Mystic Falls...
"So...Mayor Lockwood called your gay ex-husband to torture your vampire daughter?"
Ladies and gentlemen, I move that Damon just be allowed to recap everything. All in favour? Because that was kind of hilarious. Oh Damon and Liz. I love them as friends. Also Liz is smart. She totally locked Bill up to let the vervain wear off so Damon can compel him. Damon, of course is like "...Can't we just kill him?" And she's like "No" because he's Carebear's dad. He calls Bill a douchebag. She points out that just because she's cool with Damon doesn't mean she's cool with all vampires. Have I mentioned I really like their friendship? Because I do.
"You know...just because you and I are on okay terms, doesn't mean I'm suddenly a big advocate for your lifestyle."
"Is that what you told him when you two divorced?"
His face. It's hilariously cheeky. And she's just used to it. And I love them. So they go down to the Forbes's Secret Lair where Bill is tied to the chair he tied Caroline to. I appreciate that. Bill's pissy about Liz bringing a vampire.
"So, Bill...I hear you're into the whole daddy-daughter vampire torture thing."
"I was just trying to help her."
"Well, if there's anyone who doesn't need help, it's your annoying control freak of a daughter."
I LOL almost every time that boy speaks. But it's true. Caroline is a HBIC and doesn't need help or to change or to be fixed or anything like that. She really doesn't. She is flawless. Anyway, Damon noms him slightly to check for vervain, then asks him why he thinks he can change a vampire's nature.
"The mind's a powerful tool. You can be trained and retrained. You just have to be strong enough."
"I completely agree. I happen to love mind control myself."
Calling it now. Bill can resist compulsion. Because he's Noah fucking Bennet. Anyway, Damon compells him (or does he?) to leave town and not remember anything except coming to take his daughter back-to-school shopping. Nice touch, Damon.
Back in Chicago: Stefan returns to his boyfriend and girlfriend. Shut up. They give off that vibe. Somewhere in the time he was gone, Becks (I'm calling her that now. Deal.) got over her issue with hooker clothes and is lounging on the bar. She looks hot and pouty and wonders where he was. Klaus is a grumpypants because Gloria can't find the necklace. Becks offers to let Gloria channel her (wink wink nudge nudge? Shut up. I ship everyone/everyone.) since she wore it forever. Stefan is totally rolling low on his wits + subterfuge checks. Luckily Klaus is rolling lower.
Back in Mystic Falls: Bonnie's normal summer was boring. Caroline is jealous of boring. I would be two if my gay daddy tortured me. Elena is still making chili. Bonnie is judgey about Damon. Elena scolds and gets burned by her necklace. I genuinely thought for a second Bonnie was being a petty bitch, and was really disappointed when that wasn't the case. Nope, Gloria is in the process of finding the necklace. Caroline is judgey too. Her judginess is cuter. The necklace attacks Bonnie too.
Back in Chicago: And Gloria's found the necklace. Oh noes! But she can't say where it is. She just knows a girl has it. A dead girl, according to Becks, who wants to get her murder on. Gloria can dive back in. But she needs time. And space because Klaus is "harshing her juju". Really, Julie Plec? Really? Stefan distracts Klaus by telling him he's hungry and Klaus can pick who they eat. That so sounded like a pick up line. They head out to grab a...bite. Yeah. I went there.
Back in Mystic Falls: At yet another Founders event, Bonnie has a spell to identify the magic on the necklace. She needs them to keep a lookout in case anyone wonders why the weird chick is doing magic in public. Why not just do this at home, Bonnie? Caroline takes the opportunity to be the voice of experience and remind Elena that Damon's (probably spectacular) penis is not worth the emotional pain of being with him. In fewer, and by fewer I mean different, words. I kind of agree with her viewpoint. She's not saying there's anything wrong with Damon, just that he's not right for Elena.
Over with Ric, Damon and ALL THE CHILI, we learn why there's a Founder's event every four days. It's so the Council can meet up and be sneaky. Seriousy, guys? You can't just have weekly meetings and say you're a town planning committee? You need to gather people en masse to be murdered once a week? Ric takes the opportunity to suggest Damon maybe doesn't want to put his penis inside his brother's emotionally vulnerable ex who is way too young for him and wants to change him. Also in fewer, and by fewer I mean different, words. I like that he's finally stepping into the pseudo-dad role that got chucked at him. And I really like how he doesn't back down with Damon. Damon needs that in his life. Liz breaks up an impending couple's spat by coming to get Damon for the Council meeting.
Back in Chicago: Klaus and Stefan are snacking on some ladies and Becks is jealous...I mean...bored. Stefan and Klaus are dicks to Becks and she is pouty about it. Klaus calls her a brat and she says she's not, but she really really is. Stefan proceeds to tell Klaus he's kind of a dick and makes Stefan want to kill himself, then goes off.
"Where's he going?"
"To write a name on a wall. Long story."
Dear Vampire Diaries,
I love this thing you have called continuity. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Love, Me
Back in Mystic Falls: Jeremy sneaks off for an illicit meeting with his dead girlfriend. People in Mystic Falls need to do stealthy better. Of course, they also need to do observant better, so it balances out. Please that Jeremy is apologising to his dead girlfriend for spending time with his living girlfriend. Oh Jeremy, honey. Anna wants him to tell Bonnie though. Because she's not a moron. She pretty much says Vicki isn't Vicki. Anna is so pretty and I want to hug her. She's all alone. And then Jeremy realises he can touch ghosts. And all sorts of smutfics are born.
Back in Chicago: Stefan sneaks off to visit Gloria. She knows Stefan knows where the necklace is, but doesn't actually want to help Klaus. She just wants the necklace. Oh, she's gonna be dead. Gloria tries to blackmail Stefan. Stefan tries to kill Gloria. Gloria gives Stefan aneurysms. Point to Gloria. She's still gonna die though. And it looks like it's time for our weekly torture session. I swear, more often than not a shirtless person on this show points to torture not sex. Gloria's brand of magic involves a lot more sharp things and blood than Bonnie's. And she used the V-word. Voodoo, not vagina...though that would be funny. Pardon me while I facepalm. Stefan...grunts a lot.
"Herbs help too."
Guessing she means...yep. Vervain. She is a cold bitch.
Back in Mystic Falls: The Watcher's Council...sorry...Founder's Council meets to discuss how there are definitely no vampires in Mystic Falls. Except that one on the Council. And the Sheriff's daughter. Oh, and the mayor's son is a werewolf. But other than that, none. There's a lot of extras on the Council. Guess they're all Fells. The lying liars who lie convene by the booze when Bill shows up and calls them out on being lying liars. But not in front of the rest of the Council. Missed opportunity there, gay daddy Forbes.
Meanwile Bonnie and Jeremy do research. And I do mean research, not sex. Bonnie can't ask the dead witches for help because they're ignoring her. I guess failing to kill a hybrid and then bringing back a dead boyfriend put you in their bad books. Jeremy didn't know about that, and she feels bad for lying. But he tells her it's fine. Unsurprising since he's lying about his ghost affair. And then Anna tells Jeremy the darkness is there, and the books burst into flames. Bonnie puts the fire out but it's still freaky.
Back in Chicago: Gloria realises Stefan loves necklace-girl and necklace-girl is the doppelganger. Oh shit son. But Kat shows up in the nick of time for a good neck-stabbing. CALLED IT! Bye bye Gloria. Take notes, Bonnie. This is what happens when you get in too deep.
Back in Mystic Falls: Caroline and Elena are chatting about the necklace. Ric is boozy and really wants to leave.
"Where's Damon?"
"Probably off somewhere doing bad things to good people. Consider me the honesty police."
I love that Carebear just tells it like it is. Speaking of bad things to good people, Care spots her dad and runs off. And Elena says exactly what I did to Ric. Damon catches up to them and tells them Bill is impervious to compulsion. CALLED IT!
"How?"
"I don't know. But he threatened to out me. Don't get me started on the irony of that."
I do love the comparison of being gay and being a vampire. Bill really is a hypocrit, even if sexing boys is nothing like eating people. Not like that. Elena, of course, asks what Damon did. She really annoys me.
Damon says Bill wants to control the council because it's been compromised. Ric points out, much as I did above, that it has. They're covering for vampires these days instead of helping people. Bill also wants to put vervain in the town water supply. Again, Ric doesn't think this is an entirely awful idea. Seriously...why is Ric not on the Vampire Council? Ric for Council president as he's the only person in Mystic Falls any more with any sense!
Of course Elena has to go talking about how it'll help Damon control himself. Damon wants to kill Bill. Ha! Kill Bill. Elena objects because he's Caroline's dad. Alaric objects because murder is wrong. Seriously, Elena...get your priorities straight. Ric stands up to Damon, because he's a white hat.
"Step aside."
"Yeah, it's not gonna happen."
"Your temporary funeral."
And then he snaps Ric's neck. Okay, yes he made sure the ring was there. Yes he was pissed. But he's a vampire. He could have sped around Ric. He didn't have to kill him. There was absolutely no reason that was necessary. Elena wants to know wtf is wrong with him, but he just goes off to kill himself a gay daddy Forbes while Elena watches with surprise. Why are you surprised, Elena?
Dear Damon,
Killing your bestie because you're in a mood is not cool. I sense a friend divorce coming up.
Love, Me
Back in Chicago: Katherine and Stefan deal with Gloria's body. Katherine basically insinuates Stefan is doing what she did with him and Damon, but with Klaus and Becks. See? Boyfriend and girlfriend. She wants to know what he gets out of it. Besides sex?
"You know, it's funny. You keep talking to me like I actually trust you enough to tell you anything."
"Oh, come on Stefan. We're beyond that. I saved you from Hilda the High Voodoo priestess."
That just makes me giggle. Hilda the High Voodoo Priestess just sounds like an awesome badguy. So Stefan tells her all about his old-timey adventures with Nik and Becks and the fact that they're running from some kind of vampire hunter. Stefan! Have you not learned from past experience? Never tell Katherine things. It ends badly. This is why you can't have nice things.
"If you're planning on making a move against Klaus, I want in."
"That's good. It's good to want things, Katherine."
I love snarky douche Stefan. He tells Kat that if she's looking for a diabolical partner in crime, she should look elsewhere. Newsflash, Stefan: Her other choice is usually your brother. This is gonna end all kinds of badly.
Back in Mystic Falls: Tyler the littlest werewolf, the one person in Mystic Falls who doesn't go to Founder events apparently, goes up to his room and finds Caroline. She is hiding from gay daddy Forbes. He acts like a nice guy...which is still weird.
"Do you want me to kick his ass?"
"Yes...no. I bought him the shirt he's wearing and it is really expensive."
Oh, Carebear, honey. I love that your reason isn't that he's your dad and you're completely over him torturing you. That's a damn nice shirt and you don't want it ruined. I can get behind that reasoning. I bet Damon could too if you explained that. He's stabbed people over shirts before. He can hold off until gay daddy Forbes changes into something less nice.
Okay, yes, part of it is that he's her dad. And her mom learned to accept her, so maybe he can too. Except he's a bit crazier than her mom. Anyway, Carebear and Tyler the littlest werewolf snuggle for all of four seconds before she tells him he smells gross. Which, of course, leads to sexy times. Right up until Elena calls to sound the alarm about Damon's neck-snapping habits.
So Bill Forbes can resist mind control through willpower and discipline. SERIOUSLY, CALLED IT! Basically he's Noah Bennet with a stake and some vervain. If I didn't want to smack him, he'd be really hot. I love Jack Coleman. ALSO DAMON'S TECHNIQUE IS LAZY! Is anyone really surprised. Hell, I'm shocked he bothers to put on pants most days. Damon, oddly enough, is annoyed by this assertion from gay daddy Forbes but still takes note of it for future reference. I anticipate him practicing to get better.
I'm confused about Bill. He doesn't really believe in a gray area for vampires but he thinks it would be wrong to expose his daughter to the Council. So I guess... Family Duty > Council Duty > Being a decent person? I guess it makes sense in a weird, creepy way.
"I knew what I was risking when I didn't leave town, but I figured you're not self-destructive enough to kill the sheriff's ex-husband."
"That makes you the third person to underestimate me today."
Then he fucking bites him. Seriously, people! Stop underestimating how batshit crazy and self-destructive Damon is. He's a shark in a people suit with a century of trauma and a giant stack of issues on a good day. And this is not a good day.
So Damon noms on gay daddy Forbes a bit and waxes poetic about how blood is better fresh. Nummy. He says he's not going to kill him, just...eat him a bit. Yeah. Totally believe that. Then Caroline knocks him into the wall like the glorious HBIC she is and throws him through a window thing. God, I love Caroline Forbes. She immediately checks on her daddy, like a good girl. Here's hoping he sees what her mom did. That she's good like this and doesn't need fixing. I doubt it'll happen, but I can hope for my Carebear's sake.
"Here. It'll heal you."
"No. I said I'm okay."
"Grow up."
Caroline Forbes, ladies and gentlemen. Supreme goddess and the girl I want to be when I grow up. She doesn't take shit from people, not even her dad, and she's not going to let his stoic vampire hate get him killed. I fucking love her. She makes him drink, then tells Damon to get out. Then backhands him when he tries to call her bluff that totally wasn't a bluff. He throws her on the desk and jumps on top of her...and at Colligo that sentence would mean something else entirely. Here it means he makes serious crazy eyes, chokes her and maybe plans to kill her or at least hurt her a lot while Elena looks on horrified.
"I'm stronger than you, little girl."
"Well I'm angrier."
And then Caroline breaks his grip, headbutts him, throws him across the room and gets her dad the fuck out. God, I need a cigarette after that and I don't even smoke. Seriously. I loved my Carebear in season one...because she's a lot like me with much better clothes. But if you'd told me then that she'd one day take Damon in a fight and win? I'd wonder if you got in season one Jeremy's stash. Of all the characters who've changed, I love her most.
Damon laments the end of "a good girl fight", and Elena once again tries to scold him. STFU, Elena. This is not Stefan you're talking to. You can't control him by giving him puppy eyes. Damon makes a very valid point here. This is no different than how he's always acted. But Elena wants the Stefan type. The self-righteous, self-flagellating guy who acts like a victim of circumstance. That's not Damon. He does bad things and he owns them. And looking at their respective histories, I have to say Damon has the better idea. Elena needs to grow up and stop expecting everyone to be what she wants them to be. That's not how life works, kid.
Over in the land of Jeremy and his girlfriends, Bonnie is cleaning up the ashes when Anna shows up. Jeremy closes the bathroom door...because that's not weird and suspicious...to talk to her. She was trying to warn him, but he's tired of her popping up when he's with Bonnie. She points out she can't pop up if he's not thinking about her. Sounds like something else might be popping up where Jeremy and Anna are concerned. That was a sex joke, by the way. Anna calls Jeremy on still caring about her, and Jeremy acts like a typical teenage boy who's allergic to feelings. He purposefully stops thinking about her and focuses on his living girlfriend. Meanwhile Anna is trapped and alone on the otherside, desperate to make him listen. Dick move, littlest Gilbert. Jeremy goes and tells Bonnie the truth. I expect awkward fallout.
Back in Chicago: Stefan is poking at the coffins where Klaus keeps his relatives when Becks shows up. Klaus is off checking on Gloria. Becks could undagger her siblings, but she won't because Klaus would hunt her down and kill her. Fair enough. Still...you should undagger Elijah. I miss his pretty hair. Stefan asks why she still loves him if he's a vindictive little bastard, and Becks basically says it's a lot of work and she's lazy. I'm paraphrasing. You know what else she's too lazy for? Running from the mystery hunter. Stefan tries to be stealthy and ask about the hunter. Becks doesn't want to talk about it so Stefan tries to backtrack. Becks asks about his dead (but not really) girlfriend and how he's only with Klaus for Damon's sake. She says that's why Klaus mancrushes...I mean...respects Stefan. Loyalty to family.
Becks swears him to secrecy on that last bit, then mouth-rapes...I mean...kisses him. Stefan tries to kiss back but he's just not that into her. Becks asks if he could ever love anyone, and by anyone she means her, like he loved the dead (but not) girlfriend. He says maybe and she calls bullshit. Then she tells Klaus that Stefan is hiding something and he was asking about Michael. Talk about a vindictive little bitch. Klaus bitchslaps Stefan.
Back in Mystic Falls: Somewhere along the way, Damon learned that making your best friend a drink will totally make up for killing him. This isn't actually true at all. If you ever temporarily kill a friend, don't try this. It will end badly. Yes, Ric's an alcoholic, but still...one drink isn't gonna make up for getting his neck snapped. Damon mocks him for taking a while to come back.
"You killed me."
"You pissed me off."
"YOU KILLED ME."
Ah, the difference between human and vampire morals. Look, Ric knows Damon isn't a nice guy. He does. Their friendship started with Ric attempting to kill Damon, Damon actually killing Ric, teaming up to fight crime...I mean vampires, and Ric punching Damon in the face. He knows the score, folks. He knows that Damon is a shark in a people suit. And most of the time he's okay with that. But he has lines. The problem is, his lines aren't the same as Damon's lines. Because at the end of the day, he's human and Damon's a vampire.
"Ric! No hard feelings, all right? I was on a bit of a tear and everyone was trying to tell me how to behave."
"Or maybe they finally realised you're just a dick."
There it is. Ric isn't Elena. He doesn't want Damon to be Stefan. He just wants him to not always be a complete asshole. It's not asking a lot. With Ric it's never "Don't ever kill people or compell them." It's "Maybe you shouldn't have a compelled girlfriend. It's creepy." And "Don't kill recklessly. And maybe don't kill my girlfriend's friends." It's like a weird vampire bro code. But the thing is? The first rule of that bro code? DON'T KILL YOUR BROS. Jesus Christ, Damon. The man is your best friend. He's your only friend who really accepts what you are. It's not asking a lot that he expects you not to murder him in a fit of crazy. So Ric leaves. It's all very much like a bro-divorce. I think Ric gets custody of the friends in that one.
Caroline and Elena are walking along and Caroline does that thing where she says I told you so re: Damon by "not saying I told you so". I sort of love-and-hate when people do that, but it really is very Caroline. She then proceeds to flat-out tell Elena that for all she says Damon has to change to be in her life, it's complete bullshit. He's under her skin and she wants to do him "in all his bad brother glory". Thank you, Carebear. She wants Elena to admit it, but Elena refuses because she feels like admitting it makes her a bad person. But Caroline says it just means she's human. Carebear talks so much sense this episode. I adore her.
Then Carebear goes to talk to gay daddy Forbes. They have an almost nice moment. He's gonna go back to Stephen before something kills him. I really want to see Stephen. A lot. I bet he and gay daddy Forbes are cute together. She asks how his neck is and he's all healed up. He thanks her for rescuing him. They kind of smile and he says bye. Maybe there's hope for him after all.
"Daddy? I'm gonna be okay."
"You're a vampire sweetheart. I don't think you'll ever be okay again."
Or not. Dammit, gay daddy Forbes! How hard is it for you to understand? She's a vampire but she's not dead. She's still your daughter. She's still Caroline. She's just more. Why can't you be amazing like Liz? I'm hoping he comes around and sees the light. I also wonder how much of this is internalised issues with his own part of himself that he can't change. What? This show is the product of an out gay man. I would be surprised if they hadn't at least considered that. So gay daddy Forbes leaves Caroline alone with the realisation that she can't rely on her dad any more.
Meanwhile, Ric wants the Gilbert seat on the Council. Good for him. They need someone who isn't going to bend to the vampires. He points out he's the Gilberts' guardian. Carol and Liz are very "That's not how it works. You need to be from a founding family." Newsflash, ladies, you both married into it. Ric completely calls them out on how the Council right now is bullshit. Liz's daughter is a vampire. Carol's son is a werewolf. Damon is a vampire. They need someone on the council who stands for the humans. And he ends it with a "See you next meeting". FUCKING CALLED IT!
Bonnie's at the Grill, being pensive, when Elena comes up and asks about the necklace. She feels weird without it and really wants it back, so Bonnie gives it to her. I'm going ahead and calling it now, because I've actually watched this show the past two seasons. That's Katherine. Totally Katherine. She wants the necklace for whatever devious plans she has in mind. Bonnie? You are the worst witch ever for not realising that's a vampire and not your bestie. But in your defence, you are preoccupied by Jeremy's ghost affair. Bonnie, you need to stop talking to Elena. You always end up telling Katherine shit she really doesn't need to know. She looks away, looks back, and "Elena" is gone. CALLED IT.
So, Kat goes to Damon and propositions him...to be her partner in crime. Damon is sick of everyone trying to get him to not be a douche, so he agrees. CALLED IT.
Back in Chicago(?): Stefan wakes up and tries to explain himself. But Klaus isn't mad. He's just curious. Because Becks is jealous and thinks Stefan's holding on to something from his old life. But, jealous or not, she has good instincts. So...surprise! They're not in Chicago any more. They're in the back of a truck. In Mystic Falls.
In Summation: FUCKING CALLED IT!