Imprints on my Conscience (Tao/Kris) ch. 1
Title: Imprints on my Conscience
Rating: This chapter, PG13, NC17 overall
Fandom: EXO
Pairing: Tao/Kris
Length: 7k
Notes: Please read Incubus before Imprints as this one is a sequel of sorts!
Wu Fan was still not a fan of nightclubs.
He had thought that perhaps, if exposed to something one didn't like a lot over a long period of time that there might be a change in opinion, that perhaps the overwhelming noise and the air, humid with the heat of people packed too tightly together, that the women and men who approached him and slyly asked if he had come alone... that somehow they might become more bearable.
Yet every night at the club left Wu Fan feeling angrier than the last. It didn't get easier. It didn't get more tolerable.
He visited the club twice a week.
On Tuesday nights the nightclub had drink specials to draw a crowd on an otherwise slow trade day. Wu Fan would come straight from work after finishing late at the office, bringing his briefcase with his laptop and work documents along with him. He would loosen his tie enough to be able to breathe in the stifling venue, but not enough to solicit unwarranted attention. He kept his jacket on, despite the warmth, would order a Lagavulin or an aged Chivas and would take a seat at the bar, turned so that he could see the entrance.
He would wait for three hours, nursing a few drinks and lost in his thoughts. Then he would go home.
On Fridays it was the club's busiest night and Wu Fan wouldn't go straight there, instead going home to shower and leave his work things behind. He would dress more casually, although casual was a matter of opinion; all of Wu Fan's jeans were tailored and he owned hardly any shirts that didn't button up the front. But that's just who he was and he'd be damned if he made any more effort to blend in with the party-goers.
Fridays were more difficult; they were louder, crazier. Fridays there was no room to sit at the bar as people pushed and shoved to get drinks. Fridays were also Wu Fan's best hope.
He had met Tao on a Friday.
That one night, that one unbelievable, intoxicating night with a stranger had thrown a wrench in the works of Wu Fan's rigid, scheduled lifestyle. It had not been Wu Fan's first one-night-stand, but it had certainly been the only one that refused to leave his mind long after the bruises, bites and scratches had faded. It was also the night that Wu Fan was pretty sure was the beginning of him slowly spiralling into obsession.
For days all he'd been able to think about was caramel-coloured skin and sultry eyes, soft lips and strong fingers. A young man who had appeared in his house, had taken control, had Wu Fan begging for things he didn't even know he'd ever wanted.
By the time morning had come, Tao had disappeared.
Wu Fan had gone through several emotional stages that morning, which in itself was unusual for him. At his office the interns called him Robot behind his back because he rarely smiled and when he did it usually sent people scurrying all the same. It wasn't that Wu Fan was intentionally antisocial and he didn't dislike his co-workers; he just took pride in his work and focused on it to the point where he would ignore most social interaction around him. He didn't exactly consider this a negative trait.
Saturday morning had begun with disbelief and denial. After waking up and finding his bed empty, Wu Fan had wondered wildly if he hadn't just dreamed the whole thing considering how crazy it seemed, and was pretty much ready to write it off as such, but the faintest whiff of the other's cologne lingering on the sheets had told him otherwise.
When he had found himself in the bathroom examining the bruises and bites on his body, he had been forced to admit that no dream was this real.
Disbelief had been swiftly followed up with anger, fuelled mostly by indignation. Wu Fan had never been the one left behind in bed before, he had generally been the one quietly leaving in the morning and if he had known it felt so shameful for the other party he would never have done it. Worse than the aches in his muscles was the wounding to his ego; he felt like he'd been someone's plaything, and it was humiliating.
Determination followed anger; he would track Tao down. He would find the boy and demand an explanation; after all, he still didn't know why the other had followed him home or how he'd even gotten into Wu Fan's house, not to mention...
...what had happened between them.
This train of thought had buried Wu Fan swiftly in self-doubt. He was determined to be furious at the stranger that had so suddenly come and shaken his otherwise very ordinary lifestyle, but he realised he was really having to force it; it felt like he should be angry... but memories of the way his name sounded on Tao's lips rose unbidden to his mind and his skin still tingled with the ghost of the other's touch.
It took him a few more hours before Wu Fan realised with a sense of impending doom that he was infatuated.
He needed to find the other.
By the time he had gone back to work on the Monday two days later the bruises on his skin had purpled impressively and he'd had to wear his collar tightly closed to hide some of them. No one in his office had questioned his sudden disappearance from the nightclub on Friday; he was pretty sure they'd all been surprised that he'd come at all. He rather wished that he hadn't.
When he'd found out through an overheard conversation between two colleagues that the same club had a specials night on Tuesdays, he'd decided to see if he might find a familiar face in the crowd.
-
'I don't think you should have another.' Minseok commented with a frown as he regarded Wu Fan warily.
Minseok was the bartender at the club most nights that Wu Fan had made an appearance and on the third Tuesday in a row he had introduced himself, trying to be friendly. His attempt at manners had been met with a steely glare and a curt order for another scotch, so he hadn't tried to make conversation. Apparently reconsidering his antisocial behaviour the following Friday night, Wu Fan had introduced himself as well, and up until now that had been the extent of the niceties between them.
Now it was Wu Fan's sixth Tuesday visit and he was taking advantage of the cocktail specials to get exceedingly drunk.
'I don't think it's actually any of your business.' Wu Fan rumbled back, and he was furious to notice the slurred edge to his words. He apparently wasn't the only one, as Minseok's frown deepened in disapproval.
'The problem is that it really, really is my business.' the bartender replied briskly and swiped Wu Fan's mostly empty glass out from under his nose. 'I'm cutting you off. Go home.'
It wasn't like Wu Fan had gone to the club with the intention of getting completely hammered; Wu Fan never let himself get drunk, he had observed other people doing some ridiculously stupid things under the influence of alcohol and he valued his image too much in order to let himself be That Guy. While he enjoyed the occasional quiet drink, he never drank to excess and had previously only, at most, ever been tipsy.
But the more days that had passed without any sign of Tao, the more Wu Fan searched without any results and more he agonised over the vivid memories the other had left him, the more he found himself changing, sinking slowly into a kind of despair that he didn't know how to deal with.
It wasn't just the sex that was making it so hard to forget Tao, but the fact that the other had made Wu Fan realise some things about himself that he hadn't previously addressed-had never wanted to address-until Tao had forced him to.
So right then he didn't care that he had work the following morning. He had begun the evening the same as always, had ordered a scotch and sat with a view of the club's entrance and waited... and the longer he waited, the more drinks he bought. This time he didn't stop after his usual time in order to go home... this time he felt depressed enough to buy another, and another, until he was slumped over the bar and Minseok was kindly but firmly telling him to go home.
'Fuck you.' he mumbled, resting his forehead against the cool marble of the bar-top. He doubted that Minseok even heard him over the noise.
'I should have stopped you ages ago.' Minseok huffed. 'I thought you were the more responsible type.'
Yeah so did I, Wu Fan thought blearily, feeling the world tilt although he had his eyes closed. He was dimly aware of Minseok gently nudging his arm, trying to get him to get up but his head felt so heavy that all he wanted to do was stay where he was and maybe fall asleep. The music around him seemed to be fading, he thought, maybe the club was winding now... maybe...
'Hey,' Minseok's grip on his arm tightened briefly as he shook him. 'You can't sleep here. I'll hail you a taxi.' the hand withdrew and Wu Fan raised his head with some difficulty and an unhappy groan as the sound of loud music came back in full force along with his consciousness.
The room swam around him and darkness crept at the edge of his vision. Turning in his seat and determined to show that he was completely capable of walking out of here with his dignity intact he slid off the bar stool and instantly realised it was a lot easier to sit down than it was to stand; he staggered, knocking into at least one other person before his hand found the edge of the bar and he was able to stop himself from falling over. The whole room was tilting now at a dangerous angle around him and he felt himself tilt with it.
This won't work, Wu Fan thought helplessly, I'm about to pass out. I'm-
The darkness crept in further and although he shook his head to try and clear it, it only made the dizziness worse. He felt himself falling.
A firm hand seized him by the arm and yanked at him; Wu Fan could no longer tell which way was up as he collided with another body, clutching at it for support while fingers dug painfully into his bicep as everything around him became a blur of colours and shadows.
'I'm sorry...' he muttered, heavily hanging his head as he felt himself being pulled along, somehow managing to drag his feet into stumbling steps. 'I'm really... I'm not usually...'
'That's enough.' a voice coldly responded, definitely not Minseok's, and something about it took a hold of Wu Fan's throat and squeezed the breath out of him for a second. He suddenly caught a familiar scent, of musky spices, warm and enticing before the cold outside air hit him, and he choked on a jumble of words as he tried to straighten up, tried to catch sight of the other person's face.
The sudden movement dramatically exacerbated the vertigo and he was only able to utter a weak 'Wait-' before he was being shoved into the back of a taxi and his vision blurred too much to be able to focus on anything.
Sagging against the back seat in defeat as the vehicle began to move, Wu Fan tried to suppress the urge to throw up, opening the car window and pressing his face against the cool glass panel beside it as he breathed in the cold night air in deep gulps.
Not even the chill could stop him from slipping down into darkness, however, and his last thoughts-before he was too far gone to even wonder about the fact he hadn't even told the taxi driver where to go-were of that commanding voice and the way it had sent all-too-familiar shivers down his spine.
-
Wu Fan awoke the following moment with the most monstrous migraine he had ever encountered.
Not having had much experience with hangovers it was a rude shock to wake up to and as the sunlight lanced into his eyes he gave a tortured groan, rolling over to bury his face into his pillow. His mouth felt like he had been chewing on cotton wool and at the slightest movement his stomach lurched dangerously.
Swallowing a couple of times to try and bring some moisture back to his throat, Wu Fan did his best to ignore the way his head thudded with every beat of his pulse and tried to remember the night before. He remembered drinking-he remembered drinking a lot-but after that it was all a blur. He could not remember how he had managed to get from the taxi to his bedroom. At least he was pretty certain he hadn't thrown up, or he probably wouldn't have been feeling so utterly wretched now.
Painkillers and a lot of water. That was what he needed.
Dragging his heavy limbs from the bed, Wu Fan had to take a moment to let the searing pain in his head adjust to the movement and his stomach abruptly gave an ominous gurgle. Muttering a curse he staggered to his feet and swiftly headed to the bathroom, ignoring how much it hurt his head in favour of making it to the toilet in time for him to violently expel most of what he had drunk the previous night.
Heaving over the porcelain, fingers sliding against it for a decent grip, Wu Fan waited for his stomach to stop rebelling and the trembling in his body to subside, wondering how he had let himself become this way. With most of the vile mixture from the previous night no longer poisoning his system he felt a little better almost immediately and sagged down against the wall by the toilet, resting his head back against the cool tiles as he caught his breath.
Painkillers. Water. He remembered his goal and struggled to stand, grabbing tablets from the cabinet and gulping them down with tap water. His head still throbbed fiercely but his stomach no longer felt like it was doing backflips and he was grateful for at least that much. Somehow Wu Fan remembered that toast was supposed to help with hangovers as well and decided that was his next goal.
As he shuffled in the direction of his kitchen, deliberately avoiding any mirrors because he knew he probably looked like he'd been to hell and back, he remembered he was supposed to be at work.
Well, that certainly wasn't happening.
Wu Fan was responsible enough that if he didn't show up at the office for a day, he knew that no one was going to question him. Even his boss generally left him to his own devices so he really wasn't too concerned about it, although the catch-up he'd need to do the day after would be unfortunate.
Lost in this train of thought, he wandered out into the main area of the apartment and swept his gaze over it as he turned to the kitchen; the glance was so brief and absent-minded that at first he thought the figure on his couch was a figment of his imagination. A very abrupt double-take told him otherwise; the man, dressed head-to-toe in black, stood in stark contrast to the cream leather of his lounge suite and was unmistakeably real.
Zitao. There was no mistake. Wu Fan might only have previously seen the other in the flashing club lights and the dim glow of his bedside lamp but even in harsh sunlight there was no mistaking the face that had been burned into his memory.
Tao wore a black coat with thick fur trim over a v-neck shirt that dipped low to show off more of the other's skin than was probably necessary and beneath that, tight black leather pants that looked uncomfortably familiar to Wu Fan. Gold crosses dangled from his ears and with the cool gaze he had directed at Wu Fan he was the perfect picture of dark temptation, lounging back with one leg casually thrown over the other, arms slung back over the top of the couch.
He was splayed out in such a way that before Wu Fan could even properly register what was going on, he found his gaze travelling down along Tao's frame of its own accord as he stood frozen in the doorway of his bedroom. He couldn't help wondering if that had been Tao's intention when he'd sprawled on Wu Fan's couch in the first place.
'You're here.' he said hoarsely.
'Unfortunately.' Tao replied mildly and Wu Fan jumped a little because a part of him had still somehow expected that he was having some sort of hangover-induced hallucination, but hallucinations didn't talk...
Did they?
'Why are you here?' his voice cracked slightly, from exhaustion and a throat that was entirely too dry, but also slightly from the flood of relief he felt that he wasn't crazy; he had begun to have his doubts as time passed that Tao was real at all.
Those dangerous black eyes narrowed slightly and there was a long silence; at first Wu Fan didn't think the other was going to reply at all.
'You called me here.' Tao finally responded, a measure of self-restraint in his tone.
'I didn't. How was I supposed to call you anywhere when I don't even know who you are?'
'You called me here. Every night, but especially on Tuesdays and Fridays, your mind clouded with alcohol and too dull to think of more than one thing at a time, to conjure up any distractions.' One long, slim finger tapped a slow, erratic pattern out on smooth, pale leather. 'You called me, whether you meant to or not. Now I really need you to let me go.'
Wu Fan stared numbly at him, trying to understand. He couldn't. Wiping a hand down his face in exhaustion, he then motioned to the kitchen. 'I'm not ready for this conversation. Can I get some coffee first?'
'Sure. Make mine black, without sugar.'
Biting back a comment on how Tao's coffee choice reminded Wu Fan a lot of Tao himself, he headed into the kitchen and away from under that glare. His head still throbbed and he had a sour taste in his mouth reminding him that he still hadn't had any kind of breakfast, so as he made coffee he also popped two slices of bread into the toaster.
As he stood in the kitchen by himself, slowly allowing his aching head to come to terms with the fact that Tao was out there in his lounge room, the reality of the situation began to set in. For weeks he'd been chasing this man, going continuously back to the club where they'd met, scouring the nightlife for the invasive stranger. His work had suffered-he was sure of it, despite people assuring him otherwise-his sleep had been restless and worst of all... definitely worst of all... had been the twisted feeling in his gut that arose every time he thought he'd never see Tao again.
He was afraid to question what that feeling was.
His toast snapped up from the toaster, startling Wu Fan from his thoughts and he quickly buttered it before finishing the coffee and carrying the whole lot out, precariously balanced in his hands.
Tao hadn't moved from his place on the couch and while Wu Fan's gaze was on the cups he carried to make sure nothing spilled he could feel the other's gaze boring holes into him. Setting the plate with toast and his own coffee cup down on one end of the coffee table, he leaned over and put Tao's close to the other end; near Tao, while Wu Fan sat as far away as possible.
There was silence between them.
It was Wu Fan who broke it first, unable to stand the tension. He cleared his throat and raised his eyes to meet Tao's. 'So.' he began, then faltered. 'So... I don't suppose you'll tell me how you got in here?'
'I used your key.'
'My...'
Tao reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the keychain Wu Fan recognised as his own, tossing it carelessly onto the table. 'Your key. You don't remember very much about last night, do you? I'm really not surprised, considering the abysmal state you were in. You're not much of a drinker, I suppose, despite how much time you've been spending at a bar.'
It was a snide dig at Wu Fan's pride, and he hated that it worked. 'How did you get my keys?' he asked in a guarded tone, deliberately steering the conversation away from his poor conduct from the night before.
Uncrossing his legs and leaning forward to take the coffee cup from the table, Tao's lips quirked up at one side in something between a smirk and a smile. 'I practically picked you up off the floor in that club, Wu Fan. There was no way in hell you were going to get safely home by yourself, so I chaperoned you.'
Wonderful, Wu Fan thought sourly to himself as he felt a flush creep up along his neck, hoping desperately it wouldn't reach his face. 'I wasn't like that every night I was out, you know.'
'Oh, I know.' Tao sipped at his coffee and his gaze never once lifted from Wu Fan's face, keeping him squirming uncomfortably at the receiving end. 'I was there.'
Wu Fan stared at him. '...No you weren't.' he hated how it sounded like a plea.
Tao only nodded and took another sip of coffee. Wu Fan felt his cheeks burn as this new information settled in and he tried not to imagine Tao, in the dark corners of the club, making a game of watching Wu Fan desperately seek him out. It was humiliating.
That unfamiliar feeling twisted his insides again and made his breath hitch.
'Your toast is getting cold.' Tao said amiably, pointing at it.
Despite the rising urge to be sick again, Wu Fan picked up a piece of toast and took an unenthusiastic bite of it, speaking again when he swallowed. 'Why are you playing games with me? Just tell me what you want, get it out in the open. I'm getting real tired of this cat-and-mouse bullshit.'
Tao uttered a short, sharp laugh laced with disbelief. 'Really? Really?' he set the cup back down on the table and narrowed his eyes at Wu Fan, all traces of mirth disappearing. 'Exactly what cat-and-mouse game are you seeing here, Wu Fan? Because if we're applying that analogy to this situation, this is how I see it; the cat spotted a mouse it wanted, and caught it that very same night. The cat played with the mouse until it was done. Then the mouse, that stupid mouse-' his voice dripped venom. '-went in search of the cat again and again, for some unfathomable reason, ready to walk straight back into its jaws. Tell me what other cat-and-mouse game you see here, go on.'
Wu Fan's fingers tightened around his coffee cup and instead of shrinking at the other's tone, he felt anger rising within him. 'I just wanted answers.' he replied through gritted teeth. 'I'm no one's one-night-stand. You barged your way into my house-into my life-and just took from me without taking anything else into consideration.'
'It seemed alright to you when you were begging me to fuck you.' Tao replied dryly. 'And it's what I do. I told you before, I take what I want to take... besides, like I said, you didn't seem keen on stopping me. So... if I give you your answers, will you leave me alone?'
The anger in Wu Fan had grown with every word leaving the other's lips, but at the last question it ebbed slightly and he had less of an urge to hurl his coffee in Tao's face. 'Depends on the answers.'
Tao didn't seem satisfied by this response and he scowled. 'This isn't a negotiation. You're lucky I'm here at all, I could have left you drinking your nights away until you ended up in a gutter somewhere.'
'You could have.' The unspoken but you didn't hung between them, soaking in the silence until Wu Fan spoke again. 'Why don't you begin by telling me why you approached me of all people, that night? I'm not trying to get you to inflate my ego or anything but there were a lot of people there who would have probably given you a lot less trouble.'
'Oh you weren't any trouble at all.' Tao reached out, idly tracing a fingertip over the rim of the coffee cup, lashes fluttering briefly as his eyes followed the path his finger took. 'I approached you because you're my type.'
'And what type is that, exactly?'
'The leader.' the dark eyes rose to meet Wu Fan's again. 'I know you better than you think. I know more than the awkward man I saw at the club. I can tell when someone has the admiration of others, when they're outstanding in their chosen field, when they're used to being the one in charge.' he licked his lips and then raised the cup again to take another sip. 'But you know what's nice about leader-types? They so often secretly wish that they weren't the ones in control. That they had someone bossing them around. I can fulfil that little fantasy and in return take what I need. It's a win-win situation, isn't it?'
'And what is it, exactly,' Wu Fan said in a strained tone that betrayed the fact Tao's words had struck a little closer to home than he was comfortable with, 'that you need?'
Tao thought it over for a moment before he spoke. 'Where do I begin? I've never had to explain myself before... I suppose... hmm, well, you know what a vampire is, right?'
'Oh of course,' Wu Fan quipped sarcastically before he could stop himself, taken off guard by the unusual question. 'A vampire, I should have known, what with the biting and all.'
Tao shot him a frosty look. 'May I remind you that it was you who bit first? And I'm not saying I'm a vampire, idiot, do you want to hear me out or not?'
Honestly Wu Fan had regretted his words the moment they'd left his mouth, but he was so tense that sarcasm felt like the only way to ease his nerves a little. Not daring to let himself speak, he instead waved a hand in Tao's direction silently inviting him to continue.
'Vampires live off the blood of people, right? Bite right into them and suck them dry. In a way I do that... but I don't suck blood, god no.' he pulled a face in distaste. 'I feed off of a very particular type of residual energy that's at its peak when people feel intense lust or desire. So when two people are fucking...' he drawled out emphasis on the word in a careless way that made Wu Fan's skin crawl. '...you can imagine it's like a banquet for me. Better yet, if I'm the one causing it...' he trailed off into a groan of satisfaction.
Furrowing his brow for a moment, Wu Fan tried to make sense out of what he was hearing. 'That's ridiculous. What are you trying to tell me? That you're some kind of superhuman, energy-absorbing... something?'
'Superhuman...' Tao smiled, tilting his head slightly. 'I like that; superhuman.'
'You're crazy. Absolutely insane.'
'You've accused me of that before, Wu Fan, and I told you then that I am a lot of things, but crazy isn't one of them.'
'Wait, so then-and I'm going to indulge you here and go along with what you're telling me-what, you go to nightclubs every night to pick up your evening meal?' the thought of it appalled Wu Fan, especially when he took into consideration that he would have just been a small bite in Tao's apparently large food group. He'd wanted to find Tao to bring some meaning to what had happened between them, not to feel even more insignificant.
'It isn't necessary every night. A good night will keep me going for close to a week.' Tao took another relaxed sip of coffee before he kept speaking. 'You and I... we had a very good night, wouldn't you agree?'
Wu Fan swallowed the small bite of toast he'd allowed himself again while Tao was speaking and it scraped its way down his dry throat. He quickly took a swig of coffee to ease the discomfort. Tao was watching him, waiting for a response, and he seemed a little perplexed when Wu Fan didn't give one.
'Look,' The word was accompanied by a weary sigh, breaking the silence when Tao could see he wasn't going to get any kind of reply. 'I didn't want to get into this because I knew this is how you'd react. How any ordinary person would react to something like this, and I really didn't want to bother putting up with it. But I didn't really have any choice, because something that's usually very useful to me is now a massive pain in my ass.'
Wu Fan still didn't reply, but he shot the other an inquisitive look and Tao grimaced, looking ill-at-ease for the first time since Wu Fan had first laid eyes on him. It was a refreshing change, Wu Fan thought.
'There are things I can do that ordinary people can't. It comes with the... superhuman thing.' Tao's fingers tapped another staccato pattern against the leather of Wu Fan's couch and there was a hint of agitation to it this time. 'You'll recall I wanted you to think of me, the night that we met. I specifically told you to.'
'After how strong you came on in the club, I wasn't really going to be thinking of much else.' Wu Fan muttered.
'Regardless.' Tao's fingers stopped their tapping. 'I can sense it when people have me in their thoughts. It's like a beacon to me, I can find people like that... I found you like that. I didn't follow you home from the club that night, I simply followed the sound of your want.'
Wu Fan's gaze was fixed on Tao's lips as the other very deliberately swiped his tongue along them and the lump in his throat wasn't definitely wasn't dry toast this time. 'This is all rather ridiculous.' he croaked out, but he couldn't even convince himself that he didn't believe Tao.
'You explain how I knew where you lived and how I got into your house without breaking in and then tell me again that it's ridiculous.' Tao was beginning to sound annoyed. 'Now because I don't want to be here all day I'll finish what I was going to say; after I'm done with someone, the shock to their system of being drained of a large part of energy usually results in partial amnesia. Most of the time I think they write it off to having had too much to drink. Most think I was a dream, or a one-night-stand. Some don't even remember me. The ones that do stop thinking about it after a couple of days.' he scowled. 'You didn't, and the amnesia thing didn't work on you at all.'
Wu Fan shook his head slowly. 'I felt groggy the next day. Heavy. More tired than normal, and I'd slept until the afternoon, but I remembered everything.'
'And then,' Tao added with a displeased twist to his lips. 'you came looking for me. And you thought about me every day, every moment you weren't occupied with your work. For me that's like having something at the edge of your peripheral vision all the time... a constant distraction. You'd think of me, and I would feel it and I waited and waited for it to fade away but days and weeks passed and you remained so stubbornly persistent. I wanted to stay away in the hope that you'd give up but you just wouldn't and I honestly can't keep this up any longer. I need you to back off.'
Wu Fan was silent and stared at the young man on his couch, suddenly struck by a realisation. Tao wasn't as in control of the situation as he had implied he was. Wu Fan was playing a big part in it, too.
Spreading his hands in a gesture for Tao to wait a moment, he took a second to think it over and then fixed his gaze firmly on the other's. 'So all this time I was looking for you, you were aware of me doing so, and you've only approached me now because it's become too irritating for you to deal with. Well believe me when I say that looking for you was irritating enough on its own and I find this story you're spinning to still be quite...' he trailed off, not feeling that 'stupid' was an appropriate thing to say in this situation. '...hard to digest. But if it is exactly as you say, then... well, no.'
'No? What do you mean, no?'
'No, I'm not going to back off.' Despite the fact that his head still hurt like hell, Wu Fan felt the best he had all morning, suddenly realising what he wanted and how he was going to make this happen. 'Not without seeing this through a little further first. You've just told me you're not human and you want me to respond with "oh no problem, I'll just go back to my normal life and leave you alone"? No, I don't think so. You're not going to ditch me like one of your late-night snacks, Zitao.'
He expected Tao to get angry, and indeed for a moment the other's face froze in an unreadable expression. He waited for an outburst, bracing himself for it, so he was surprised when Tao laughed instead, rich laughter that echoed around the apartment as the other changed position, sitting up straighter on the couch and clasping his hands in his lap as he leaned forward slightly. 'Oh... I kind of like this, actually, this is interesting. Tell me, little mouse, what exactly are you intending to do with this new-found power?'
Wu Fan had been preparing himself for an angry reaction and didn't know how to handle an amused one. The slight increase in confidence he'd felt for that brief moment dissipated just as quickly and he was pretty sure Tao could tell. He knew what he wanted and he had thought he'd known how he could make it happen, but now that Tao didn't seem to be playing along it was a whole different story.
'I'm not trying to threaten you. I just want this to be even ground; I'm not willing to just let things go at this without...' he hesitated. 'Well, without exploring it further.'
'Exploring it further.' Tao echoed flatly, amusement shining in his coal-black eyes before another ghost of a smile brushed his lips, so brief that Wu Fan thought he’d imagined it. ‘Oh. No… no, no Wu Fan you don’t understand. You continue to misunderstand.’ he propped his chin in the palm of his hand, elbow resting on his knee, narrowing his eyes at the other man. ‘I don’t want any kind of relationship from you, this is not the sort of situation where you just "get to know me a little better" and suddenly you're more special than any other nobody I pick up from some bar on some random night of the week. You’re looking for give and take. Sure, so am I… in the sense that you give, and I take. You’re tenacious but not too bright.’
Wu Fan felt his face burn as the other dismissed him so casually. He hadn't wanted to put it in those words because asking for that was embarrassing enough, but having Tao lay it out like that in such a patronising manner was a hundred times worse.
'The reason I don't take permanent partners is because the energy I harvest is pretty significant and if I were to constantly take more and more... Wu Fan surely I don't have to spell it out for you, I'd take everything until there was nothing left but a lifeless shell.' Tao had crossed his arms over his chest now, sitting back in a way that Wu Fan thought looked somewhat defensive. 'I'd be slowly killing whoever I was with. There was a time when I'd start small relationships and then drop them when I noticed them starting to fade away, but it causes too much trouble. It's a lot easier to take what I need and just have them forget.'
'Sounds lonely.'
'Try convenient.'
Wu Fan had abandoned his cold toast and swiftly cooling coffee and was watching Tao carefully. 'What if I said I wanted to try it, regardless?'
Tao's eyes narrowed. 'I think you missed the part where I mentioned wasting away until you die.'
'I don't believe you.' this was a lie, despite how incredible the story Tao had told him was. One look at the intense stare that accompanied the words had told Wu Fan that the other wasn't kidding. 'You're telling me you've got some kind of magical ability and that's the reason you hooked up with me that night? Please, spare me the theatrics.'
Tao's gaze burned with anger, which is what Wu Fan had been counting on; he had wanted the other to rise to a challenge, he had known Tao would not like being scoffed at. What he didn't expect was the other man to rise from his place on the couch and with only a couple of long strides make his way around the coffee table between them, reaching down to seize a fistful of Wu Fan's shirt and yank him to his feet. Wu Fan had just enough time to gasp in a breath before Tao's lips were on his.
It was like their first kiss in the nightclub where Wu Fan had first laid eyes on Tao, only then Tao had him pressed back against a wall and completely bewildered. It was wild and intense and Wu Fan felt Tao's other hand grab at the back of his neck again as his own scrambled up to dig into the fur collar of Tao's coat. Then he was kissing Tao back, fighting him, refusing to back down and let him take control the way he had in the club. Tao bit at his lip and Wu Fan winced but didn't withdraw, instead pressing his mouth flush against the other's again and seeking out his tongue with his own.
All of a sudden it felt like someone had shoved their hand into the centre of his chest, taken a hold of something at the very centre of his being and pulled. He cried out, breaking away as he gasped for breath and clutched at his sternum, the backs of his legs hitting the edge of the seat behind him, dropping him gracelessly back into it. He drew deep, shaky breaths, staring up at Tao with wide eyes as the other coldly returned the stare.
'I don't usually force it like that, it leaves a sour taste.' Tao murmured. 'But you had to be shown, obviously.'
Wu Fan was light-headed and his head pounded worse than ever. For one dizzying moment he thought he was going to pass out, or at least vomit again, and he bent forward as he dry-retched once before he managed to gain some semblance of control over himself. Tao watched impassively from above.
'Doesn't feel good, does it?'
'What...' Wu Fan rasped dryly, swallowing with difficulty. 'What did you do?'
'Proved a point.' Tao replied coldly. 'It's not as good for me if I just take it like that, without someone willingly offering themselves up but oh well. It'll keep me going for a day or so before I need any more.' he reached down to glide his fingers along Wu Fan's jaw to his chin, tilting his face up again so he could meet his gaze again. 'I did it to you that other night, too, but it was less of a shock because of the circumstances. Every time this happens, I take a part of you which you'll never get back. With rest your body can recover some of it, but in the long run it would wear you down until there was nothing left. Are you beginning to understand now?'
Wu Fan wondered if this was what having a heart attack felt like. He thumped his chest once with the flat of his hand, trying to appease the tight discomfort there, but nothing was working. Grimacing as he looked up at Tao, he reached up and grabbed a handful of fur collar, pulling him down. Tao was startled as he came face to face with Wu Fan but he didn't try to pull back.
'Is this all?' Wu Fan eyes narrowed in determination. 'Bring it on, then. I can take it.'
Tao's eyes widened and this time he did pull back. 'And you called me the crazy one.' he shook his head. 'I don't know what it's going to take to get it through that thick skull of yours. I'm leaving. Hopefully you'll come to your senses soon and move on with your life so I can move on with mine.'
Wu Fan sat doubled over with his fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt and couldn't bring himself to look up as he heard Tao move away, a moment later hearing the sound of the front door as it shut with a very final click behind the other.
---
[ next chapter]
AN: I usually don't post chaptered fics chapter by chapter but this one's been giving me trouble so I'm gonna upload it slowly in the hope that it bolsters my enthusiasm to finish it sooner!
Rating: This chapter, PG13, NC17 overall
Fandom: EXO
Pairing: Tao/Kris
Length: 7k
Notes: Please read Incubus before Imprints as this one is a sequel of sorts!
Wu Fan was still not a fan of nightclubs.
He had thought that perhaps, if exposed to something one didn't like a lot over a long period of time that there might be a change in opinion, that perhaps the overwhelming noise and the air, humid with the heat of people packed too tightly together, that the women and men who approached him and slyly asked if he had come alone... that somehow they might become more bearable.
Yet every night at the club left Wu Fan feeling angrier than the last. It didn't get easier. It didn't get more tolerable.
He visited the club twice a week.
On Tuesday nights the nightclub had drink specials to draw a crowd on an otherwise slow trade day. Wu Fan would come straight from work after finishing late at the office, bringing his briefcase with his laptop and work documents along with him. He would loosen his tie enough to be able to breathe in the stifling venue, but not enough to solicit unwarranted attention. He kept his jacket on, despite the warmth, would order a Lagavulin or an aged Chivas and would take a seat at the bar, turned so that he could see the entrance.
He would wait for three hours, nursing a few drinks and lost in his thoughts. Then he would go home.
On Fridays it was the club's busiest night and Wu Fan wouldn't go straight there, instead going home to shower and leave his work things behind. He would dress more casually, although casual was a matter of opinion; all of Wu Fan's jeans were tailored and he owned hardly any shirts that didn't button up the front. But that's just who he was and he'd be damned if he made any more effort to blend in with the party-goers.
Fridays were more difficult; they were louder, crazier. Fridays there was no room to sit at the bar as people pushed and shoved to get drinks. Fridays were also Wu Fan's best hope.
He had met Tao on a Friday.
That one night, that one unbelievable, intoxicating night with a stranger had thrown a wrench in the works of Wu Fan's rigid, scheduled lifestyle. It had not been Wu Fan's first one-night-stand, but it had certainly been the only one that refused to leave his mind long after the bruises, bites and scratches had faded. It was also the night that Wu Fan was pretty sure was the beginning of him slowly spiralling into obsession.
For days all he'd been able to think about was caramel-coloured skin and sultry eyes, soft lips and strong fingers. A young man who had appeared in his house, had taken control, had Wu Fan begging for things he didn't even know he'd ever wanted.
By the time morning had come, Tao had disappeared.
Wu Fan had gone through several emotional stages that morning, which in itself was unusual for him. At his office the interns called him Robot behind his back because he rarely smiled and when he did it usually sent people scurrying all the same. It wasn't that Wu Fan was intentionally antisocial and he didn't dislike his co-workers; he just took pride in his work and focused on it to the point where he would ignore most social interaction around him. He didn't exactly consider this a negative trait.
Saturday morning had begun with disbelief and denial. After waking up and finding his bed empty, Wu Fan had wondered wildly if he hadn't just dreamed the whole thing considering how crazy it seemed, and was pretty much ready to write it off as such, but the faintest whiff of the other's cologne lingering on the sheets had told him otherwise.
When he had found himself in the bathroom examining the bruises and bites on his body, he had been forced to admit that no dream was this real.
Disbelief had been swiftly followed up with anger, fuelled mostly by indignation. Wu Fan had never been the one left behind in bed before, he had generally been the one quietly leaving in the morning and if he had known it felt so shameful for the other party he would never have done it. Worse than the aches in his muscles was the wounding to his ego; he felt like he'd been someone's plaything, and it was humiliating.
Determination followed anger; he would track Tao down. He would find the boy and demand an explanation; after all, he still didn't know why the other had followed him home or how he'd even gotten into Wu Fan's house, not to mention...
...what had happened between them.
This train of thought had buried Wu Fan swiftly in self-doubt. He was determined to be furious at the stranger that had so suddenly come and shaken his otherwise very ordinary lifestyle, but he realised he was really having to force it; it felt like he should be angry... but memories of the way his name sounded on Tao's lips rose unbidden to his mind and his skin still tingled with the ghost of the other's touch.
It took him a few more hours before Wu Fan realised with a sense of impending doom that he was infatuated.
He needed to find the other.
By the time he had gone back to work on the Monday two days later the bruises on his skin had purpled impressively and he'd had to wear his collar tightly closed to hide some of them. No one in his office had questioned his sudden disappearance from the nightclub on Friday; he was pretty sure they'd all been surprised that he'd come at all. He rather wished that he hadn't.
When he'd found out through an overheard conversation between two colleagues that the same club had a specials night on Tuesdays, he'd decided to see if he might find a familiar face in the crowd.
-
'I don't think you should have another.' Minseok commented with a frown as he regarded Wu Fan warily.
Minseok was the bartender at the club most nights that Wu Fan had made an appearance and on the third Tuesday in a row he had introduced himself, trying to be friendly. His attempt at manners had been met with a steely glare and a curt order for another scotch, so he hadn't tried to make conversation. Apparently reconsidering his antisocial behaviour the following Friday night, Wu Fan had introduced himself as well, and up until now that had been the extent of the niceties between them.
Now it was Wu Fan's sixth Tuesday visit and he was taking advantage of the cocktail specials to get exceedingly drunk.
'I don't think it's actually any of your business.' Wu Fan rumbled back, and he was furious to notice the slurred edge to his words. He apparently wasn't the only one, as Minseok's frown deepened in disapproval.
'The problem is that it really, really is my business.' the bartender replied briskly and swiped Wu Fan's mostly empty glass out from under his nose. 'I'm cutting you off. Go home.'
It wasn't like Wu Fan had gone to the club with the intention of getting completely hammered; Wu Fan never let himself get drunk, he had observed other people doing some ridiculously stupid things under the influence of alcohol and he valued his image too much in order to let himself be That Guy. While he enjoyed the occasional quiet drink, he never drank to excess and had previously only, at most, ever been tipsy.
But the more days that had passed without any sign of Tao, the more Wu Fan searched without any results and more he agonised over the vivid memories the other had left him, the more he found himself changing, sinking slowly into a kind of despair that he didn't know how to deal with.
It wasn't just the sex that was making it so hard to forget Tao, but the fact that the other had made Wu Fan realise some things about himself that he hadn't previously addressed-had never wanted to address-until Tao had forced him to.
So right then he didn't care that he had work the following morning. He had begun the evening the same as always, had ordered a scotch and sat with a view of the club's entrance and waited... and the longer he waited, the more drinks he bought. This time he didn't stop after his usual time in order to go home... this time he felt depressed enough to buy another, and another, until he was slumped over the bar and Minseok was kindly but firmly telling him to go home.
'Fuck you.' he mumbled, resting his forehead against the cool marble of the bar-top. He doubted that Minseok even heard him over the noise.
'I should have stopped you ages ago.' Minseok huffed. 'I thought you were the more responsible type.'
Yeah so did I, Wu Fan thought blearily, feeling the world tilt although he had his eyes closed. He was dimly aware of Minseok gently nudging his arm, trying to get him to get up but his head felt so heavy that all he wanted to do was stay where he was and maybe fall asleep. The music around him seemed to be fading, he thought, maybe the club was winding now... maybe...
'Hey,' Minseok's grip on his arm tightened briefly as he shook him. 'You can't sleep here. I'll hail you a taxi.' the hand withdrew and Wu Fan raised his head with some difficulty and an unhappy groan as the sound of loud music came back in full force along with his consciousness.
The room swam around him and darkness crept at the edge of his vision. Turning in his seat and determined to show that he was completely capable of walking out of here with his dignity intact he slid off the bar stool and instantly realised it was a lot easier to sit down than it was to stand; he staggered, knocking into at least one other person before his hand found the edge of the bar and he was able to stop himself from falling over. The whole room was tilting now at a dangerous angle around him and he felt himself tilt with it.
This won't work, Wu Fan thought helplessly, I'm about to pass out. I'm-
The darkness crept in further and although he shook his head to try and clear it, it only made the dizziness worse. He felt himself falling.
A firm hand seized him by the arm and yanked at him; Wu Fan could no longer tell which way was up as he collided with another body, clutching at it for support while fingers dug painfully into his bicep as everything around him became a blur of colours and shadows.
'I'm sorry...' he muttered, heavily hanging his head as he felt himself being pulled along, somehow managing to drag his feet into stumbling steps. 'I'm really... I'm not usually...'
'That's enough.' a voice coldly responded, definitely not Minseok's, and something about it took a hold of Wu Fan's throat and squeezed the breath out of him for a second. He suddenly caught a familiar scent, of musky spices, warm and enticing before the cold outside air hit him, and he choked on a jumble of words as he tried to straighten up, tried to catch sight of the other person's face.
The sudden movement dramatically exacerbated the vertigo and he was only able to utter a weak 'Wait-' before he was being shoved into the back of a taxi and his vision blurred too much to be able to focus on anything.
Sagging against the back seat in defeat as the vehicle began to move, Wu Fan tried to suppress the urge to throw up, opening the car window and pressing his face against the cool glass panel beside it as he breathed in the cold night air in deep gulps.
Not even the chill could stop him from slipping down into darkness, however, and his last thoughts-before he was too far gone to even wonder about the fact he hadn't even told the taxi driver where to go-were of that commanding voice and the way it had sent all-too-familiar shivers down his spine.
-
Wu Fan awoke the following moment with the most monstrous migraine he had ever encountered.
Not having had much experience with hangovers it was a rude shock to wake up to and as the sunlight lanced into his eyes he gave a tortured groan, rolling over to bury his face into his pillow. His mouth felt like he had been chewing on cotton wool and at the slightest movement his stomach lurched dangerously.
Swallowing a couple of times to try and bring some moisture back to his throat, Wu Fan did his best to ignore the way his head thudded with every beat of his pulse and tried to remember the night before. He remembered drinking-he remembered drinking a lot-but after that it was all a blur. He could not remember how he had managed to get from the taxi to his bedroom. At least he was pretty certain he hadn't thrown up, or he probably wouldn't have been feeling so utterly wretched now.
Painkillers and a lot of water. That was what he needed.
Dragging his heavy limbs from the bed, Wu Fan had to take a moment to let the searing pain in his head adjust to the movement and his stomach abruptly gave an ominous gurgle. Muttering a curse he staggered to his feet and swiftly headed to the bathroom, ignoring how much it hurt his head in favour of making it to the toilet in time for him to violently expel most of what he had drunk the previous night.
Heaving over the porcelain, fingers sliding against it for a decent grip, Wu Fan waited for his stomach to stop rebelling and the trembling in his body to subside, wondering how he had let himself become this way. With most of the vile mixture from the previous night no longer poisoning his system he felt a little better almost immediately and sagged down against the wall by the toilet, resting his head back against the cool tiles as he caught his breath.
Painkillers. Water. He remembered his goal and struggled to stand, grabbing tablets from the cabinet and gulping them down with tap water. His head still throbbed fiercely but his stomach no longer felt like it was doing backflips and he was grateful for at least that much. Somehow Wu Fan remembered that toast was supposed to help with hangovers as well and decided that was his next goal.
As he shuffled in the direction of his kitchen, deliberately avoiding any mirrors because he knew he probably looked like he'd been to hell and back, he remembered he was supposed to be at work.
Well, that certainly wasn't happening.
Wu Fan was responsible enough that if he didn't show up at the office for a day, he knew that no one was going to question him. Even his boss generally left him to his own devices so he really wasn't too concerned about it, although the catch-up he'd need to do the day after would be unfortunate.
Lost in this train of thought, he wandered out into the main area of the apartment and swept his gaze over it as he turned to the kitchen; the glance was so brief and absent-minded that at first he thought the figure on his couch was a figment of his imagination. A very abrupt double-take told him otherwise; the man, dressed head-to-toe in black, stood in stark contrast to the cream leather of his lounge suite and was unmistakeably real.
Zitao. There was no mistake. Wu Fan might only have previously seen the other in the flashing club lights and the dim glow of his bedside lamp but even in harsh sunlight there was no mistaking the face that had been burned into his memory.
Tao wore a black coat with thick fur trim over a v-neck shirt that dipped low to show off more of the other's skin than was probably necessary and beneath that, tight black leather pants that looked uncomfortably familiar to Wu Fan. Gold crosses dangled from his ears and with the cool gaze he had directed at Wu Fan he was the perfect picture of dark temptation, lounging back with one leg casually thrown over the other, arms slung back over the top of the couch.
He was splayed out in such a way that before Wu Fan could even properly register what was going on, he found his gaze travelling down along Tao's frame of its own accord as he stood frozen in the doorway of his bedroom. He couldn't help wondering if that had been Tao's intention when he'd sprawled on Wu Fan's couch in the first place.
'You're here.' he said hoarsely.
'Unfortunately.' Tao replied mildly and Wu Fan jumped a little because a part of him had still somehow expected that he was having some sort of hangover-induced hallucination, but hallucinations didn't talk...
Did they?
'Why are you here?' his voice cracked slightly, from exhaustion and a throat that was entirely too dry, but also slightly from the flood of relief he felt that he wasn't crazy; he had begun to have his doubts as time passed that Tao was real at all.
Those dangerous black eyes narrowed slightly and there was a long silence; at first Wu Fan didn't think the other was going to reply at all.
'You called me here.' Tao finally responded, a measure of self-restraint in his tone.
'I didn't. How was I supposed to call you anywhere when I don't even know who you are?'
'You called me here. Every night, but especially on Tuesdays and Fridays, your mind clouded with alcohol and too dull to think of more than one thing at a time, to conjure up any distractions.' One long, slim finger tapped a slow, erratic pattern out on smooth, pale leather. 'You called me, whether you meant to or not. Now I really need you to let me go.'
Wu Fan stared numbly at him, trying to understand. He couldn't. Wiping a hand down his face in exhaustion, he then motioned to the kitchen. 'I'm not ready for this conversation. Can I get some coffee first?'
'Sure. Make mine black, without sugar.'
Biting back a comment on how Tao's coffee choice reminded Wu Fan a lot of Tao himself, he headed into the kitchen and away from under that glare. His head still throbbed and he had a sour taste in his mouth reminding him that he still hadn't had any kind of breakfast, so as he made coffee he also popped two slices of bread into the toaster.
As he stood in the kitchen by himself, slowly allowing his aching head to come to terms with the fact that Tao was out there in his lounge room, the reality of the situation began to set in. For weeks he'd been chasing this man, going continuously back to the club where they'd met, scouring the nightlife for the invasive stranger. His work had suffered-he was sure of it, despite people assuring him otherwise-his sleep had been restless and worst of all... definitely worst of all... had been the twisted feeling in his gut that arose every time he thought he'd never see Tao again.
He was afraid to question what that feeling was.
His toast snapped up from the toaster, startling Wu Fan from his thoughts and he quickly buttered it before finishing the coffee and carrying the whole lot out, precariously balanced in his hands.
Tao hadn't moved from his place on the couch and while Wu Fan's gaze was on the cups he carried to make sure nothing spilled he could feel the other's gaze boring holes into him. Setting the plate with toast and his own coffee cup down on one end of the coffee table, he leaned over and put Tao's close to the other end; near Tao, while Wu Fan sat as far away as possible.
There was silence between them.
It was Wu Fan who broke it first, unable to stand the tension. He cleared his throat and raised his eyes to meet Tao's. 'So.' he began, then faltered. 'So... I don't suppose you'll tell me how you got in here?'
'I used your key.'
'My...'
Tao reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the keychain Wu Fan recognised as his own, tossing it carelessly onto the table. 'Your key. You don't remember very much about last night, do you? I'm really not surprised, considering the abysmal state you were in. You're not much of a drinker, I suppose, despite how much time you've been spending at a bar.'
It was a snide dig at Wu Fan's pride, and he hated that it worked. 'How did you get my keys?' he asked in a guarded tone, deliberately steering the conversation away from his poor conduct from the night before.
Uncrossing his legs and leaning forward to take the coffee cup from the table, Tao's lips quirked up at one side in something between a smirk and a smile. 'I practically picked you up off the floor in that club, Wu Fan. There was no way in hell you were going to get safely home by yourself, so I chaperoned you.'
Wonderful, Wu Fan thought sourly to himself as he felt a flush creep up along his neck, hoping desperately it wouldn't reach his face. 'I wasn't like that every night I was out, you know.'
'Oh, I know.' Tao sipped at his coffee and his gaze never once lifted from Wu Fan's face, keeping him squirming uncomfortably at the receiving end. 'I was there.'
Wu Fan stared at him. '...No you weren't.' he hated how it sounded like a plea.
Tao only nodded and took another sip of coffee. Wu Fan felt his cheeks burn as this new information settled in and he tried not to imagine Tao, in the dark corners of the club, making a game of watching Wu Fan desperately seek him out. It was humiliating.
That unfamiliar feeling twisted his insides again and made his breath hitch.
'Your toast is getting cold.' Tao said amiably, pointing at it.
Despite the rising urge to be sick again, Wu Fan picked up a piece of toast and took an unenthusiastic bite of it, speaking again when he swallowed. 'Why are you playing games with me? Just tell me what you want, get it out in the open. I'm getting real tired of this cat-and-mouse bullshit.'
Tao uttered a short, sharp laugh laced with disbelief. 'Really? Really?' he set the cup back down on the table and narrowed his eyes at Wu Fan, all traces of mirth disappearing. 'Exactly what cat-and-mouse game are you seeing here, Wu Fan? Because if we're applying that analogy to this situation, this is how I see it; the cat spotted a mouse it wanted, and caught it that very same night. The cat played with the mouse until it was done. Then the mouse, that stupid mouse-' his voice dripped venom. '-went in search of the cat again and again, for some unfathomable reason, ready to walk straight back into its jaws. Tell me what other cat-and-mouse game you see here, go on.'
Wu Fan's fingers tightened around his coffee cup and instead of shrinking at the other's tone, he felt anger rising within him. 'I just wanted answers.' he replied through gritted teeth. 'I'm no one's one-night-stand. You barged your way into my house-into my life-and just took from me without taking anything else into consideration.'
'It seemed alright to you when you were begging me to fuck you.' Tao replied dryly. 'And it's what I do. I told you before, I take what I want to take... besides, like I said, you didn't seem keen on stopping me. So... if I give you your answers, will you leave me alone?'
The anger in Wu Fan had grown with every word leaving the other's lips, but at the last question it ebbed slightly and he had less of an urge to hurl his coffee in Tao's face. 'Depends on the answers.'
Tao didn't seem satisfied by this response and he scowled. 'This isn't a negotiation. You're lucky I'm here at all, I could have left you drinking your nights away until you ended up in a gutter somewhere.'
'You could have.' The unspoken but you didn't hung between them, soaking in the silence until Wu Fan spoke again. 'Why don't you begin by telling me why you approached me of all people, that night? I'm not trying to get you to inflate my ego or anything but there were a lot of people there who would have probably given you a lot less trouble.'
'Oh you weren't any trouble at all.' Tao reached out, idly tracing a fingertip over the rim of the coffee cup, lashes fluttering briefly as his eyes followed the path his finger took. 'I approached you because you're my type.'
'And what type is that, exactly?'
'The leader.' the dark eyes rose to meet Wu Fan's again. 'I know you better than you think. I know more than the awkward man I saw at the club. I can tell when someone has the admiration of others, when they're outstanding in their chosen field, when they're used to being the one in charge.' he licked his lips and then raised the cup again to take another sip. 'But you know what's nice about leader-types? They so often secretly wish that they weren't the ones in control. That they had someone bossing them around. I can fulfil that little fantasy and in return take what I need. It's a win-win situation, isn't it?'
'And what is it, exactly,' Wu Fan said in a strained tone that betrayed the fact Tao's words had struck a little closer to home than he was comfortable with, 'that you need?'
Tao thought it over for a moment before he spoke. 'Where do I begin? I've never had to explain myself before... I suppose... hmm, well, you know what a vampire is, right?'
'Oh of course,' Wu Fan quipped sarcastically before he could stop himself, taken off guard by the unusual question. 'A vampire, I should have known, what with the biting and all.'
Tao shot him a frosty look. 'May I remind you that it was you who bit first? And I'm not saying I'm a vampire, idiot, do you want to hear me out or not?'
Honestly Wu Fan had regretted his words the moment they'd left his mouth, but he was so tense that sarcasm felt like the only way to ease his nerves a little. Not daring to let himself speak, he instead waved a hand in Tao's direction silently inviting him to continue.
'Vampires live off the blood of people, right? Bite right into them and suck them dry. In a way I do that... but I don't suck blood, god no.' he pulled a face in distaste. 'I feed off of a very particular type of residual energy that's at its peak when people feel intense lust or desire. So when two people are fucking...' he drawled out emphasis on the word in a careless way that made Wu Fan's skin crawl. '...you can imagine it's like a banquet for me. Better yet, if I'm the one causing it...' he trailed off into a groan of satisfaction.
Furrowing his brow for a moment, Wu Fan tried to make sense out of what he was hearing. 'That's ridiculous. What are you trying to tell me? That you're some kind of superhuman, energy-absorbing... something?'
'Superhuman...' Tao smiled, tilting his head slightly. 'I like that; superhuman.'
'You're crazy. Absolutely insane.'
'You've accused me of that before, Wu Fan, and I told you then that I am a lot of things, but crazy isn't one of them.'
'Wait, so then-and I'm going to indulge you here and go along with what you're telling me-what, you go to nightclubs every night to pick up your evening meal?' the thought of it appalled Wu Fan, especially when he took into consideration that he would have just been a small bite in Tao's apparently large food group. He'd wanted to find Tao to bring some meaning to what had happened between them, not to feel even more insignificant.
'It isn't necessary every night. A good night will keep me going for close to a week.' Tao took another relaxed sip of coffee before he kept speaking. 'You and I... we had a very good night, wouldn't you agree?'
Wu Fan swallowed the small bite of toast he'd allowed himself again while Tao was speaking and it scraped its way down his dry throat. He quickly took a swig of coffee to ease the discomfort. Tao was watching him, waiting for a response, and he seemed a little perplexed when Wu Fan didn't give one.
'Look,' The word was accompanied by a weary sigh, breaking the silence when Tao could see he wasn't going to get any kind of reply. 'I didn't want to get into this because I knew this is how you'd react. How any ordinary person would react to something like this, and I really didn't want to bother putting up with it. But I didn't really have any choice, because something that's usually very useful to me is now a massive pain in my ass.'
Wu Fan still didn't reply, but he shot the other an inquisitive look and Tao grimaced, looking ill-at-ease for the first time since Wu Fan had first laid eyes on him. It was a refreshing change, Wu Fan thought.
'There are things I can do that ordinary people can't. It comes with the... superhuman thing.' Tao's fingers tapped another staccato pattern against the leather of Wu Fan's couch and there was a hint of agitation to it this time. 'You'll recall I wanted you to think of me, the night that we met. I specifically told you to.'
'After how strong you came on in the club, I wasn't really going to be thinking of much else.' Wu Fan muttered.
'Regardless.' Tao's fingers stopped their tapping. 'I can sense it when people have me in their thoughts. It's like a beacon to me, I can find people like that... I found you like that. I didn't follow you home from the club that night, I simply followed the sound of your want.'
Wu Fan's gaze was fixed on Tao's lips as the other very deliberately swiped his tongue along them and the lump in his throat wasn't definitely wasn't dry toast this time. 'This is all rather ridiculous.' he croaked out, but he couldn't even convince himself that he didn't believe Tao.
'You explain how I knew where you lived and how I got into your house without breaking in and then tell me again that it's ridiculous.' Tao was beginning to sound annoyed. 'Now because I don't want to be here all day I'll finish what I was going to say; after I'm done with someone, the shock to their system of being drained of a large part of energy usually results in partial amnesia. Most of the time I think they write it off to having had too much to drink. Most think I was a dream, or a one-night-stand. Some don't even remember me. The ones that do stop thinking about it after a couple of days.' he scowled. 'You didn't, and the amnesia thing didn't work on you at all.'
Wu Fan shook his head slowly. 'I felt groggy the next day. Heavy. More tired than normal, and I'd slept until the afternoon, but I remembered everything.'
'And then,' Tao added with a displeased twist to his lips. 'you came looking for me. And you thought about me every day, every moment you weren't occupied with your work. For me that's like having something at the edge of your peripheral vision all the time... a constant distraction. You'd think of me, and I would feel it and I waited and waited for it to fade away but days and weeks passed and you remained so stubbornly persistent. I wanted to stay away in the hope that you'd give up but you just wouldn't and I honestly can't keep this up any longer. I need you to back off.'
Wu Fan was silent and stared at the young man on his couch, suddenly struck by a realisation. Tao wasn't as in control of the situation as he had implied he was. Wu Fan was playing a big part in it, too.
Spreading his hands in a gesture for Tao to wait a moment, he took a second to think it over and then fixed his gaze firmly on the other's. 'So all this time I was looking for you, you were aware of me doing so, and you've only approached me now because it's become too irritating for you to deal with. Well believe me when I say that looking for you was irritating enough on its own and I find this story you're spinning to still be quite...' he trailed off, not feeling that 'stupid' was an appropriate thing to say in this situation. '...hard to digest. But if it is exactly as you say, then... well, no.'
'No? What do you mean, no?'
'No, I'm not going to back off.' Despite the fact that his head still hurt like hell, Wu Fan felt the best he had all morning, suddenly realising what he wanted and how he was going to make this happen. 'Not without seeing this through a little further first. You've just told me you're not human and you want me to respond with "oh no problem, I'll just go back to my normal life and leave you alone"? No, I don't think so. You're not going to ditch me like one of your late-night snacks, Zitao.'
He expected Tao to get angry, and indeed for a moment the other's face froze in an unreadable expression. He waited for an outburst, bracing himself for it, so he was surprised when Tao laughed instead, rich laughter that echoed around the apartment as the other changed position, sitting up straighter on the couch and clasping his hands in his lap as he leaned forward slightly. 'Oh... I kind of like this, actually, this is interesting. Tell me, little mouse, what exactly are you intending to do with this new-found power?'
Wu Fan had been preparing himself for an angry reaction and didn't know how to handle an amused one. The slight increase in confidence he'd felt for that brief moment dissipated just as quickly and he was pretty sure Tao could tell. He knew what he wanted and he had thought he'd known how he could make it happen, but now that Tao didn't seem to be playing along it was a whole different story.
'I'm not trying to threaten you. I just want this to be even ground; I'm not willing to just let things go at this without...' he hesitated. 'Well, without exploring it further.'
'Exploring it further.' Tao echoed flatly, amusement shining in his coal-black eyes before another ghost of a smile brushed his lips, so brief that Wu Fan thought he’d imagined it. ‘Oh. No… no, no Wu Fan you don’t understand. You continue to misunderstand.’ he propped his chin in the palm of his hand, elbow resting on his knee, narrowing his eyes at the other man. ‘I don’t want any kind of relationship from you, this is not the sort of situation where you just "get to know me a little better" and suddenly you're more special than any other nobody I pick up from some bar on some random night of the week. You’re looking for give and take. Sure, so am I… in the sense that you give, and I take. You’re tenacious but not too bright.’
Wu Fan felt his face burn as the other dismissed him so casually. He hadn't wanted to put it in those words because asking for that was embarrassing enough, but having Tao lay it out like that in such a patronising manner was a hundred times worse.
'The reason I don't take permanent partners is because the energy I harvest is pretty significant and if I were to constantly take more and more... Wu Fan surely I don't have to spell it out for you, I'd take everything until there was nothing left but a lifeless shell.' Tao had crossed his arms over his chest now, sitting back in a way that Wu Fan thought looked somewhat defensive. 'I'd be slowly killing whoever I was with. There was a time when I'd start small relationships and then drop them when I noticed them starting to fade away, but it causes too much trouble. It's a lot easier to take what I need and just have them forget.'
'Sounds lonely.'
'Try convenient.'
Wu Fan had abandoned his cold toast and swiftly cooling coffee and was watching Tao carefully. 'What if I said I wanted to try it, regardless?'
Tao's eyes narrowed. 'I think you missed the part where I mentioned wasting away until you die.'
'I don't believe you.' this was a lie, despite how incredible the story Tao had told him was. One look at the intense stare that accompanied the words had told Wu Fan that the other wasn't kidding. 'You're telling me you've got some kind of magical ability and that's the reason you hooked up with me that night? Please, spare me the theatrics.'
Tao's gaze burned with anger, which is what Wu Fan had been counting on; he had wanted the other to rise to a challenge, he had known Tao would not like being scoffed at. What he didn't expect was the other man to rise from his place on the couch and with only a couple of long strides make his way around the coffee table between them, reaching down to seize a fistful of Wu Fan's shirt and yank him to his feet. Wu Fan had just enough time to gasp in a breath before Tao's lips were on his.
It was like their first kiss in the nightclub where Wu Fan had first laid eyes on Tao, only then Tao had him pressed back against a wall and completely bewildered. It was wild and intense and Wu Fan felt Tao's other hand grab at the back of his neck again as his own scrambled up to dig into the fur collar of Tao's coat. Then he was kissing Tao back, fighting him, refusing to back down and let him take control the way he had in the club. Tao bit at his lip and Wu Fan winced but didn't withdraw, instead pressing his mouth flush against the other's again and seeking out his tongue with his own.
All of a sudden it felt like someone had shoved their hand into the centre of his chest, taken a hold of something at the very centre of his being and pulled. He cried out, breaking away as he gasped for breath and clutched at his sternum, the backs of his legs hitting the edge of the seat behind him, dropping him gracelessly back into it. He drew deep, shaky breaths, staring up at Tao with wide eyes as the other coldly returned the stare.
'I don't usually force it like that, it leaves a sour taste.' Tao murmured. 'But you had to be shown, obviously.'
Wu Fan was light-headed and his head pounded worse than ever. For one dizzying moment he thought he was going to pass out, or at least vomit again, and he bent forward as he dry-retched once before he managed to gain some semblance of control over himself. Tao watched impassively from above.
'Doesn't feel good, does it?'
'What...' Wu Fan rasped dryly, swallowing with difficulty. 'What did you do?'
'Proved a point.' Tao replied coldly. 'It's not as good for me if I just take it like that, without someone willingly offering themselves up but oh well. It'll keep me going for a day or so before I need any more.' he reached down to glide his fingers along Wu Fan's jaw to his chin, tilting his face up again so he could meet his gaze again. 'I did it to you that other night, too, but it was less of a shock because of the circumstances. Every time this happens, I take a part of you which you'll never get back. With rest your body can recover some of it, but in the long run it would wear you down until there was nothing left. Are you beginning to understand now?'
Wu Fan wondered if this was what having a heart attack felt like. He thumped his chest once with the flat of his hand, trying to appease the tight discomfort there, but nothing was working. Grimacing as he looked up at Tao, he reached up and grabbed a handful of fur collar, pulling him down. Tao was startled as he came face to face with Wu Fan but he didn't try to pull back.
'Is this all?' Wu Fan eyes narrowed in determination. 'Bring it on, then. I can take it.'
Tao's eyes widened and this time he did pull back. 'And you called me the crazy one.' he shook his head. 'I don't know what it's going to take to get it through that thick skull of yours. I'm leaving. Hopefully you'll come to your senses soon and move on with your life so I can move on with mine.'
Wu Fan sat doubled over with his fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt and couldn't bring himself to look up as he heard Tao move away, a moment later hearing the sound of the front door as it shut with a very final click behind the other.
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[ next chapter]
AN: I usually don't post chaptered fics chapter by chapter but this one's been giving me trouble so I'm gonna upload it slowly in the hope that it bolsters my enthusiasm to finish it sooner!