01-01-2020 Day 1 Hour of Saturn-Jupiter & Venus 1520-1620 & 1815-1845 1-6
The New Year started off with the baphomet ritual then by Andreih vitamus. Thankfully it was late getting started because my headphones were dead. And the instructions did say it needed stereo headphones. Though in the ritual it seemed only come through one ear. The ritual followed the usual format except with addition of a new sigil that he doesn't want released yet. It was good except for when I went to draw it I carved through the five sheets of paper but it was really strong when it was done. At one point during the ritual I saw smoke and started getting worried so I came out of trance and looked around and there was no smoke. Then I went back in and it happened again. Also during part of the bath of May invocation it broke the connection and I used a function of the ritual to try and improve the connection and it suddenly came back. it was really difficult holding all three of the objects in my mind that they wanted us to hold a link to. That being said when it came time to give up my limitations I get ended up giving up not only the thought that if I gave up my limitations I'd have nothing left of me but I ended up just sitting them all everything that held me back in exchange for magical power. it's hard because I know that my limitations are created just because they're me meaning I made them and I know I can heal it but in the case of paradigm of this one I asked baphomet to take care of it. Then after that I was laughing to banish and I flipped over my chair thankfully was very low to the ground but that was the funniest laughter banishing I've had in a while. I had a bit of difficulty between trances just trying to get back into it one of those it seems so ridiculous trying to get into it when you're outside of it but when you're in it it just clicks. Then I spent some time relaxing and playing on my phone afterwards found out about new game. I'm just going to save up my money cuz it's $7. Then I went outside and finally burned the two books of sigils I had that I made. Along with some scrap paper and a few of the relics from Liana. I didn't burn the necklace or the key though but I did burn my medallion just help cleans it so I may be able to reuse it later I did stuff the necklace and key though into a little black bag and then put that inside of a blue bag totally awarded and threw it all into my box I have for negative shit that just needs to be out of my life. So we'll see what happens. After that I did my daily and went ahead and just spent 30 minutes talking to my mojo bag. I also spent the time cleaning up my room from the ritual earlier. I'm hoping things get better this year I just need to see how good they were I think there's a lot of perspective that I need to gain on things. if anything tonight after Andrea's ritual I really didn't want to ground out too much cuz I felt really good. Also I got to remember to wash the oil and rum off my hands before I start cooking. I think that was it. oh I also asked baphomet to come visit me in the dream because I felt like I couldn't get the frame of mind right at first for the offering but I did anyway so who knows.