Fandom: Tenkuu no Escaflowne (Vision of Escaflowne)
Character(s): Hitomi, Van
Pairing: Hitomi/Van
Summary: Just because you know you made the right decision, doesn't mean you can't regret.
Kaze ga Fuku Hi
It was on cool, windy days like this that Hitomi remembered what it was to fly. To soar above the ground with the wind in her hair, with Escaflowne's smooth frame beneath her - or the comforting warmth of Van's arms around her.
It was on days like this that she wondered whether she had really made the right decision.
Of course, she knew she had. She had loved the people she left on Gaia as much as her own family, but that life wasn't hers. Her brief stay back on earth while the land prepared for war had only made her even more aware of this.
It would be nice, though, to have somebody she could talk to about it. Even Amano had thought she was only dreaming when she described her time in Gaia. Dream, or illusion, she was alone in this world with the memory of another.
Gaia, she told herself constantly, was little more than a beautiful dream. A tangible dream, with memories so vivid she sometimes woke up in the night, shaking in terror.
She never had touched her tarot cards again. They summoned too frightening a memory, and she couldn't escape the feeling that the reason her predictions always came true was because the order of the cards she drew determined what fate would be.
Amano and Yukari had managed their relationship fine without her interference. And if she'd lost the only other thing she was good at on this world... so be it. It wasn't worth the risk.
Kanzaki Hitomi had still been a high schooler from Earth, with her whole life in front of her. She had so many ambitions - to finish school, to beat 13 seconds in the hundred-metre-sprint, to continue training and maybe one day run professionally - and none of them could be achieved on Gaia.
And she hadn't really belonged. She knew that.
She could have dealt with that memory of Gaia if it weren't for the fact that her memories of that place also contained a certain young man of the royal persuasion.
She missed him.
"A love so strong I didn't even notice until it was gone," she said, softly. And even though she had gone back once she realised, and they had met again, she hadn't been able to stay. Hitomi did not want to spend the rest of her life as a stranger in a strange land.
Still, even now she could think of him and know what he looked like, what he was doing, whether he still remembered her... She could visualise every inch of him, the ruffled look of his hair, the tip of every feather on those beautiful, bright white wings...
The vision in front of her wavered, although that could have been the fault of her tears.
The air around her began to shimmer, and she felt a sensation that was both familiar and unusual to her.
"Hitomi," said the vision, in a very familiar voice.
She looked away. Her imagination could be very cruel, she thought, bitterly.
"Hitomi, I finally managed to use it. Here." And the hand on her arm was warm, and definitely real, as was the cool firmness of the pendant he was draping over her fingers.
"Van...?" she said, softly.
"You showed me how to visualise the Zaibach army with the pendant, remember? I managed to do that, just like you did. So I thought maybe I could use the pendant to bring me to you... Although it never worked, until now."
She turned to look at him, gently resting an arm on his cheek to make sure he really was there in front of her. "I was thinking of you. I missed you." And she remembered what she'd heard on Gaia, about the strength of people's emotions bringing them together.
"I know. I missed you, too."
He very gently drew her into his arms.
They stood together for what seemed a very long time.
"But, Van... I can't come back with you." She felt so silly. Here he was, standing in front of her like she'd dreamed of, and all she wanted to do was push him away. "I still have so much to do..."
"You're training to be an athlete, right?" he asked. She wondered how he had known that, but then again, she knew things about him that she really shouldn't. Perhaps it was all part of that 'connection' they had seemed to share on Gaia.
Returning to the question at hand, she nodded. "My coach says I'm doing really well, I might even be able to make it to the next Olympics."
He smiled at her, sensing her joy - if not really understanding the reason for it.
And that was another reason they definitely couldn't be together. There was an enormous cultural gap between his world and hers. His world had guymelfs and animal people and dragons and cursed folk with wings, while hers had the Olympics and automobiles and pop stars and television...
It felt like she was just making excuses. "I can't just leave my family. And you can't leave your kingdom." And since he was king, he'd have to marry and have children... She idly wondered if his children would have wings, too.
"You think too negatively, Hitomi," he told her.
Of course, she'd known that, too.
"But..."
"You can't be a runner forever, can you?" he commented, taking her hand and gently closing the fingers around her grandmother's pendant.
"Well... no. I have another 10 years, maybe 15..." she said, hesitantly. She'd been contemplating coaching other young athletes after she retired, but she still wasn't entirely sure she would have the patience.
"So, that's what you'll do. You'll run like the wind, faster than anybody else. And one day you won't be able to run any more, and then you'll come with me. If you still want to."
"Van..."
"I'll wait for you, Hitomi."
"Van..." she began again.
"And I'll visit you whenever I can spare the time," he continued, meeting her eyes with an almost desperate expression.
She began to smile, hesitantly. Van, in her world... It would be interesting, to say the least.
"Hitomi?"
She could do this. She could live with Van, live in a world that was not her own, because if she couldn't run, what was left for her in this world? Her family were wonderful and she loved them dearly, but they would understand. If they hadn't been worried when she disappeared for no reason, they would certainly be accepting of her disappearing willingly.
It would all be okay, because they loved each other.
Right?
--
Note(s)
- Three years after I first started watching the series, I finally finished watching Escaflowne. I had resolved not to write fanfic, but it lasted all of 6 hours (if that), so there goes that idea.
- Thanks to
cynic_in_charge for proofreading and encouragement!
- "Kaze ga Fuku Hi" means, roughly, "the windy day", and is the title of one of my favourite Escaflowne songs.
- I'm not entirely happy with the dialogue at the end. Bleh.