what you meme is what you get
Meme answers! This was my list of characters:
1, Bertie Wooster (Jeeves & Wooster books)
2, Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
3, Jack Harkness (Doctor Who and Torchwood)
4, Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter books)
5, Sam Winchester (Supernatural)
6, Alec (Dark Angel)
7, Brett Sinclair (Persuaders)
8, Teyla Emmagan (Stargate Atlantis)
9, Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
10, Dana Scully (X-Files)
11, Francesca Vecchio (due South)
12, Heero Yuy (Gundam Wing)
13, Cherry Aimless (Nancy Clue mysteries)
14, Amita Ramanujan (Numb3rs)
15, Gerald Tarrant (Coldfire books)
jmtorres asked: Alec and Amita get drunk, sleep together, and wake up the next morning going, "What happened and who am I with?" When they realize who's in bed with them, how do they feel about each other?
Alec feels pretty cheerful about it, and thinks they should have a round two and breakfast before wandering amicably out of each other's lives. Amita's more inclined to clutch her head and go omg what was I thinking, because, you know, there's Charlie, and also, depending on how Alec phrases himself, she may conclude that he's a very pretty jerk. On the other hand, Charlie and Amita are, in fact, in one of their "no, this isn't working" phases, and Alec's right there and something about the distribution of freckles on his shoulders reminds her of a problem she's been working on, and maybe Alec turns on the slightly more earnest look for her, and so they spend the morning in bed and then go out for a late brunch, and Amita talks about math and smiles at Alec and he smiles back and thinks he's going to leave any minute now, and two hours later, he's still sitting there, watching her smile.
Bertie Wooster, Buffy Summers, and Jack Harkness knew each other high school. What cliques were they in and how did they behave to each other?
Well, we already know what Buffy did in high school. In detail, even. *g*
Jack, now, Jack hung out with whoever he wanted, and probably slept with more of them than anyone would believe. He was athletic, but never committed to any sport or team, and could argue amazingly well for why he shouldn't be on the debate team. He dated Larry for a while, and they stayed friends. Also, since he sees what's in front of him, he eventually ended up being part of the Scooby gang; Buffy found him to be exasperating but surprisingly reliable. She refused to sleep with him, though.
Bertie, oh. Rich, cheerful, clueless, brought up to be conventional. He dated a cheerleader, was involved in some not too strenuous sport, spent more time on getting dressed in the morning than Cordelia, and regarded Buffy with complete bemusement, although he was always very polite to her. After Jack seduced him, he got a little more enlightened about the world we live in and life in general, although he never did believe in vampires, even though he regularly got himself into the most bizarre trouble (there was that one time with the cursed cow creamer, for instance, or the incident with the small leather-covered notebook full of spells) ; he always managed to have his back turned when Buffy dusted the vampires, and thought demons were just chaps with unfortunate skin conditions. Buffy liked him, because it was hard not to like someone as sweet-natured as that, but she felt very strongly that he needed a keeper.
Heero Yuy and Brett Sinclair run for president and vice president. Which is which, what is their campaign slogan, what is their political party, what are their positions on issues?
Brain broken. send help. I don't think those two could agree on a political platform to save their lives. The campaign slogan would have to be either Anything's Possible or Opposites Attract. And after about a week, Brett would be clinging to Danny's shoulder, drinking champagne like water and wondering what on earth he had been thinking, and Heero would hand over all his political responsibilities to Relena and go shoot something until he felt better.
ratcreature asked: If Jack Harkness, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, and Heero Yuy were to form a superhero team, what wold be their code names and whom would they be fighting? Would they be more an "outside the law" team, like the X-Men or a more official one, like say the JLA?
That would be one kick-ass superhero team. If they managed to get along, at any rate. Heero isn't noted for his interpersonal skills, but he does have that superhuman strength thing going, and Sam has various interesting abilities to contribute, and Jack can charm the birds from the trees, among other things. Dean would claim that his contribution is to be generally awesome. They would definitely be more outside the law than inside it (I think Jack's the only one who's ever operated with government permission). Heero would say that he already has a code name and doesn't need another. Dean would say that Sam's code name is Sasquatch; poking and elbowing would ensue. Jack would think the idea of code names was funny, but be unable to decide on anything.
Also, Heero and Sam would spend a lot of time arguing about whose turn it was to use the laptop, and whether it would be more useful to do research or hack into something. And I think they could probably all agree on fighting demons and unfriendly aliens. And Heero and Dean would shoot, blow up, and set fire to things to their hearts' content. whee!
Bertie Wooster, Luna Lovegood, and Cherry Aimless are on a roadtrip together. Why? and where are they going? and is it for business or pleasure?
Best. roadtrip. ever. Cherry has packed her sensible walking shoes and most subdued jumper sets and clean, monogrammed handkerchiefs into her set of matching luggage and come to England to mend her broken heart, because she and Jackie broke up. On a walking trip to look at church ruins, she meets Luna, who is gathering spiderwebs to knit herself a scarf that will protect the wearer against floss-eyed prosks and Ministry mind-readers. Cherry knows lots of pretty knitting patterns, although she tries to suggest that Luna might want to work in a more durable material, since there are so many pretty new synthetic yarns to choose from. As they walk down the road, discussing moss stitch, they are overtaken by Bertie Wooster just as it starts raining. Bertie chivalrously feels that he cannot abandon two young ladies to a long, wet walk, so he stops his two-seater and picks them up, although there's not much room, what with it being a two-seater, and not a lot dryer, what with it being an open car. But he means well, and Cherry admires his suit and shirt and tie, and Luna thinks he's remarkably easy to talk to, and they set off to do some sight-seeing together, and they all get along so well that they just keep going. Cherry makes certain that no one catches cold, and everyone gets regular, healthy meals and snacks, and they all have a charming time, and Luna's scarf turns out very stylish, and she makes another one for Cherry, and one for Bertie (precipitating the incident with Jeeves and the Mediterranean cruise, once he gets back home).
Buffy Summers and Gerald Tarrant meet in a bar. Would they hook up for a one night stand?
No. They really, really would not. Buffy, meeting pre-series-ending Gerald in a bar and seeing him sit there with his glass of blood, would reach for her stake. (And Gerald would reach for the fae, and Damien would start arguing with them both, and things would get all kinds of messy and confused. (Buffy and Damien, on the other hand, would so have a one-night stand, with a really lot of hot, athletic, sweaty sex.)) Post-series-ending Gerald... they probably would not be particularly attracted to, or interested in, each other.
hampden asked: i) Buffy Summers, Jack Harkness, Luna Lovegood, Alec, Brett Sinclair, Teyla Emmagan, Francesca Vecchio, Heero Yuy, Gerald Tarrant are working together - what is their annual company social event and where is it held, who's the belle of the ball, who gets off with the boss, who's the wallflower, who finds ingenious uses for the office photocopier and who has blackmail material on the rest?
I'm pretty sure that Jack has used the office photocopier for everything most people have ever thought of and some things they can't even imagine. The annual company social event is a Christmas party and dance; Luna was in charge of the arrangements one year, and no one who was there is ever going to forget it; next year Francesca took over, to everyone's relief, and bullied Brett into letting them use one of his nicer country houses. No one is surprised at how well Teyla dances; everyone is surprised at how well Heero dances, and the two of them spend almost the entire evening on the dance floor, not talking that much, but putting on a fantastic show. Jack doesn't get off with the boss -- been there, done that. Not to mention, been the boss and done that. He leaves it to Alec this time. Luna expects to be the wallflower, to sit and watch and think for herself, but she ends up having a long conversation with Buffy about demon fashions. Gerald has blackmail material on everyone going back more years than any of them except for Jack really realize, but so far, he hasn't needed to use it for anything.
Bertie Wooster, Luna Lovegood, Sam Winchester, Brett Sinclair, Heero Yuy, Cherry Aimless, Gerald Tarrant - who would you: fuck / marry / make tell you bedtime stories / employ for house-cleaning / take home to mother/ run from screaming / pose nekkid to admire the view?
I think I would probably run screaming from Gerald Tarrant, and be hunted down and die shaking with fear. I'd employ Cherry for house-cleaning; she would, of course, be excellent at it. Nurses have very high standards of hygiene. I'd stop her before she got started on little froufrou decorations and potpourri and whatnot. I'd take Heero home to my mother, who would feed him and make him weed the garden and probably try to teach him lace-making. I think it would be good for him. I'd get Brett to tell me bedtime stories; I'd marry Bertie for his money, poor dear; I'd pose Sam nekkid to admire the view (do I have to stop there?); and I would so have sex with Luna (hey, she was born in 1981, she's twenty-six now).
From lillian13: Bertie Wooster and Alec want to have a baby, but they can't. They enlist Teyla Emmagen and Gerald Tarrant to help.
omg no, let's leave Gerald out of it. Bertie and Alec want to have a baby, and--
*pause to laugh for about half an hour*
--obviously they have a few problems there. But then they run into Teyla, who is on Earth for reasons of her own, and she tells them about this amazing technology they have on Atlantis (see: various and sundry pieces of fanfic), and although Alec is extremely wary of any kind of genetic manipulation technology and letting ancient machinery with an unknown agenda construct a baby in a lab, still, they agree to give it a try. They manage to get to Atlantis and have wacky adventures, and... hmm, hey, there's this scientist there, Gerald Tarrant, who's been working on the technology... anyway, so they go for it, and nine months later, they have a little baby girl. They name her Dahlia.
Brett Sinclair loves Dean Winchester but Dean loves Jack Harkness but Jack loves Brett. What's the outcome?
The most immediate solution is a threesome. This is what comes of putting Jack in charge of problem-solving. Things are still tense between them, but at least they're having a lot of really good sex. Things remain tense and uncomfortable everywhere except in bed until Sam turns up to drag Dean away for some vitally important car-driving and demon-hunting and standing around and looking hot, and while Dean's away, Brett realizes he doesn't actually miss him as much as he'd thought, because there's Jack, and Jack is, well, he really is, you know? So it turns out to not be that much of a blow when Dean gets in touch to say that he's not coming back. (He doesn't mention that he's had a few realizations of his own, courtesy of Sam.)
Buffy Summers, Luna Lovegood, Sam Winchester, Dana Scully, Francesca Vecchio, Heero Yuy, Cherry Aimless, Amita Ramanujan, and Gerald Tarrant are on a baseball team. What positions would each one play?
No idea, sorry. I can vaguely recognize baseball when I see it, that's about it. *g*
Luna Lovegood, Dean Winchester, Francesca Vecchio, and Amita Ramanujan are trapped in an elevator together. What would happen?
Dean would congratulate himself on his amazing luck, get out a deck of cards and suggest that they play poker. Then he would suggest that they play strip poker. Luna would say that she didn't know how to play, and Dean would offer to teach her. Then Luna would clean him out and he'd eventually leave the elevator wearing one sock, while Amita and Francesca laughed until they couldn't stand up.
From temaris: Bertie Wooster was responsible for the vegetable oil, but who brought the straitjacket, and why does Cherry Aimless have carpal tunnel syndrome? And will the three of them ever get bail? And just why *were* they in the water tanker?
Well, Cherry was hired by Lady Constance to be Emsworth's new secretary, and she's not quite used to all the typing yet; Blandings has finally gone digital, and Emsworth is putting all the Empress' old feeding schedules into spreadsheets. This seemed like rank insanity to the Duke of Dunstable, of course, and he arrived at Blandings determined to put Emsworth in a straitjacket, but in order to avoid having to do the dirty work himself, he brought his new secretary, Sam Winchester, who looks reliably capable of wrestling nearly anyone into a straitjacket, let alone an elderly and eccentric peer. Sam, of course, is there for reasons of his own, investigating rumors of a Grey Lady. Emsworth thinks Dunstable is there to steal the Empress, and calls on his brother Gally for help, but Gally is unavoidably busy, and passes on the call for help until it reaches... well, it was supposed to reach Jeeves, but was intercepted by Bertie, who is on the outs with Jeeves because of a certain hat. Bertie goes to Blandings to save the Empress; he theorizes that no one can steal the Empress if they can't get hold of her, so he brings vegetable oil and sneaks out quietly in the middle of the night and greases her up. Sam sees him and thinks he's the ghost and goes out after him. Cherry, who has stayed up late to type in bran mash recipes from 1893, sees Sam and thinks he's a burglar and goes out after him. They all run into each other and Bertie, badly startled, manages to let the Empress out of her sty, and she takes off, and they take off after her, and Emsworth wakes up and shouts that someone is stealing his pig, and Dunstable wakes up and shouts that Emsworth has gone potty and there are burglars on the lawn and starts to shoot at them, and they run away from the shooting and after the Empress and end up out in the road and the Empress nearly gets run over and the driver of the water tanker skids and ends up sideways on the road and nearly has a heart attack and Cherry goes to give him medical attention and Bertie goes to see if he can hide from the crazy old man with the shotgun and Sam chases the Empress and she tries to get into the cab of the water tanker and he has to follow her and --
No. They will never get bail. Cherry will have to get a new job, Bertie will have to give up his hat, and Sam will have to put up with Dean teasing him for the rest of his life, but he already knew about that, so.
Brett Sinclair's childhood career as a ballet dancing prodigy has been a closely hidden secret, until Heero Yuy, a closet balletomane, recognises Brett following televised footage of his/her startlingly graceful leap for safety. Now Heero wants to start a troupe -- and Brett is listening. Teyla Emmagan, Dana Scully and Luna Lovegood join them, but what do they stage first, and where?
They do a version of The Nutcracker with Brett as Clara, Teyla as the Nutcracker/Prince, Scully as the Mouse King, and Luna as the Sugar Plum Fairy, and tour the Pegasus galaxy with it. It's a great hit. Especially with the Wraith, for some reason; they turn into great ballet fans, and give up universe-conquering in favor of practising pliés.
From graycastle: Okay, Gerald Tarrant and Heero Yuy get into a car accident: whose fault was it, who gets out and starts screaming, and does it end in a) sex, b) litigation or c) all of the above?
It was Heero's fault; he's not used to maneuvering things smaller than a Gundam, plus he's finally decided to join the Preventers and he's in a hurry to get to work. He would have admitted as much, except that Gerald, rather than ask for his insurance, starts to make cold-faced, flat-voiced, unpleasant threats, and so Heero tries to glare him into shutting up, which doesn't work, so much, and the air between them is about to turn into solid ice when Une calls Heero to find out where he is, since he's not where he ought to be. So Heero tells Gerald that he can sue the Unified Nations if he wants, and takes off, and Gerald figures out who he is and tracks him down and manages to get accidentally involved in some shootout or other, and then they have sex. Very silent and moody sex.
Buffy Summers, Francesca Vecchio, Alec, and Cherry Aimless are all Olympic athletes who meet either in Beijing or in Vancouver (depending on whether you want summer or winter). What sports do they each do? Who takes home a medal? When they all go to the bar to celebrate/commiserate after their events are completed, who drunkenly makes out with who?
Cherry's on the synchronized swimming team. They're very good, and Cherry has designed the most darling outfits for them; no one is surprised when they win the gold. Francesca is on the volleyball team, and very tired of people asking her if that's the beach volleyball team. They do okay, end up fifth, and Francesca's a bit disappointed but she goes out drinking with Cherry, who is always such an understanding listener, and also really attentive to all Francesca's fashion crises, and just generally an awesome and very pretty person, and... well, they end up in bed together. Again. Sooner or later they're going to face up to it and move in together.
Alec? Gymnastics. Rings, actually; he's got people writing love poems to his arms and shoulders. People other than Normal, even. He ends up with a silver medal because the gold medalist bribed the judges. No, really, that's why. Doesn't bother him at all. He spends the rest of his time getting friendly with some of the beach volleyball teams, and slapped down by Francesca.
Buffy's a marathon runner. She's got the right build for it, and she never, ever gives up. She's the favorite this year, everyone knows she's going to win. When she suddenly announces she's not even going to start, there's a massive uproar. Buffy just walks away, and never competes again. She says she has more important things to do.
Jack Harkness, Luna Lovegood, Sam Winchester and Dean Winchester are all members of local politics (city council, head of the parks committee, an association of local businesses, etc.). What goes down behind locked doors at the council meetings? Will the potholes issue drive somebody away from somebody else?
Luna claims that the potholes are the work of Nargles. Sam and Dean are not entirely on board with this idea. They do okay otherwise; Sam does most of the actual work, Jack does public relations (does he ever), Dean can be prodded into activity, and when she's not talking about Nargles, Luna keeps them all together by telling them what they actually mean when they say something, although it takes them a while to get used to it. Dean in particular is freaked out by how she tells Sam "Declarations of love are very important between family members" whenever Dean says "Bitch."
And from dorothy1901: Bertie Wooster's current identity is a carefully-created masquerade, because Bertie is secretly a time traveler (unless Bertie actually is a time traveler, in which case Francesca Vecchio is secretly a time traveler). When does Bertie (or maybe Francesca) really come from?
This is a bit complicated. Bertie Wooster really is a time traveller. He just doesn't know it. He just thinks sometimes that time seems to move at a different speed for other people; he himself always has all the time he needs. He hasn't even turned 35 yet, although he rather thought he should have, some time during the century. It's a little odd, but it doesn't bother him, and he doesn't think about it. It's true that he's feeling more and more detached from current events, but Jeeves is there to take care of him, after all.
1, Bertie Wooster (Jeeves & Wooster books)
2, Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
3, Jack Harkness (Doctor Who and Torchwood)
4, Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter books)
5, Sam Winchester (Supernatural)
6, Alec (Dark Angel)
7, Brett Sinclair (Persuaders)
8, Teyla Emmagan (Stargate Atlantis)
9, Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
10, Dana Scully (X-Files)
11, Francesca Vecchio (due South)
12, Heero Yuy (Gundam Wing)
13, Cherry Aimless (Nancy Clue mysteries)
14, Amita Ramanujan (Numb3rs)
15, Gerald Tarrant (Coldfire books)
jmtorres asked: Alec and Amita get drunk, sleep together, and wake up the next morning going, "What happened and who am I with?" When they realize who's in bed with them, how do they feel about each other?
Alec feels pretty cheerful about it, and thinks they should have a round two and breakfast before wandering amicably out of each other's lives. Amita's more inclined to clutch her head and go omg what was I thinking, because, you know, there's Charlie, and also, depending on how Alec phrases himself, she may conclude that he's a very pretty jerk. On the other hand, Charlie and Amita are, in fact, in one of their "no, this isn't working" phases, and Alec's right there and something about the distribution of freckles on his shoulders reminds her of a problem she's been working on, and maybe Alec turns on the slightly more earnest look for her, and so they spend the morning in bed and then go out for a late brunch, and Amita talks about math and smiles at Alec and he smiles back and thinks he's going to leave any minute now, and two hours later, he's still sitting there, watching her smile.
Bertie Wooster, Buffy Summers, and Jack Harkness knew each other high school. What cliques were they in and how did they behave to each other?
Well, we already know what Buffy did in high school. In detail, even. *g*
Jack, now, Jack hung out with whoever he wanted, and probably slept with more of them than anyone would believe. He was athletic, but never committed to any sport or team, and could argue amazingly well for why he shouldn't be on the debate team. He dated Larry for a while, and they stayed friends. Also, since he sees what's in front of him, he eventually ended up being part of the Scooby gang; Buffy found him to be exasperating but surprisingly reliable. She refused to sleep with him, though.
Bertie, oh. Rich, cheerful, clueless, brought up to be conventional. He dated a cheerleader, was involved in some not too strenuous sport, spent more time on getting dressed in the morning than Cordelia, and regarded Buffy with complete bemusement, although he was always very polite to her. After Jack seduced him, he got a little more enlightened about the world we live in and life in general, although he never did believe in vampires, even though he regularly got himself into the most bizarre trouble (there was that one time with the cursed cow creamer, for instance, or the incident with the small leather-covered notebook full of spells) ; he always managed to have his back turned when Buffy dusted the vampires, and thought demons were just chaps with unfortunate skin conditions. Buffy liked him, because it was hard not to like someone as sweet-natured as that, but she felt very strongly that he needed a keeper.
Heero Yuy and Brett Sinclair run for president and vice president. Which is which, what is their campaign slogan, what is their political party, what are their positions on issues?
Brain broken. send help. I don't think those two could agree on a political platform to save their lives. The campaign slogan would have to be either Anything's Possible or Opposites Attract. And after about a week, Brett would be clinging to Danny's shoulder, drinking champagne like water and wondering what on earth he had been thinking, and Heero would hand over all his political responsibilities to Relena and go shoot something until he felt better.
ratcreature asked: If Jack Harkness, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, and Heero Yuy were to form a superhero team, what wold be their code names and whom would they be fighting? Would they be more an "outside the law" team, like the X-Men or a more official one, like say the JLA?
That would be one kick-ass superhero team. If they managed to get along, at any rate. Heero isn't noted for his interpersonal skills, but he does have that superhuman strength thing going, and Sam has various interesting abilities to contribute, and Jack can charm the birds from the trees, among other things. Dean would claim that his contribution is to be generally awesome. They would definitely be more outside the law than inside it (I think Jack's the only one who's ever operated with government permission). Heero would say that he already has a code name and doesn't need another. Dean would say that Sam's code name is Sasquatch; poking and elbowing would ensue. Jack would think the idea of code names was funny, but be unable to decide on anything.
Also, Heero and Sam would spend a lot of time arguing about whose turn it was to use the laptop, and whether it would be more useful to do research or hack into something. And I think they could probably all agree on fighting demons and unfriendly aliens. And Heero and Dean would shoot, blow up, and set fire to things to their hearts' content. whee!
Bertie Wooster, Luna Lovegood, and Cherry Aimless are on a roadtrip together. Why? and where are they going? and is it for business or pleasure?
Best. roadtrip. ever. Cherry has packed her sensible walking shoes and most subdued jumper sets and clean, monogrammed handkerchiefs into her set of matching luggage and come to England to mend her broken heart, because she and Jackie broke up. On a walking trip to look at church ruins, she meets Luna, who is gathering spiderwebs to knit herself a scarf that will protect the wearer against floss-eyed prosks and Ministry mind-readers. Cherry knows lots of pretty knitting patterns, although she tries to suggest that Luna might want to work in a more durable material, since there are so many pretty new synthetic yarns to choose from. As they walk down the road, discussing moss stitch, they are overtaken by Bertie Wooster just as it starts raining. Bertie chivalrously feels that he cannot abandon two young ladies to a long, wet walk, so he stops his two-seater and picks them up, although there's not much room, what with it being a two-seater, and not a lot dryer, what with it being an open car. But he means well, and Cherry admires his suit and shirt and tie, and Luna thinks he's remarkably easy to talk to, and they set off to do some sight-seeing together, and they all get along so well that they just keep going. Cherry makes certain that no one catches cold, and everyone gets regular, healthy meals and snacks, and they all have a charming time, and Luna's scarf turns out very stylish, and she makes another one for Cherry, and one for Bertie (precipitating the incident with Jeeves and the Mediterranean cruise, once he gets back home).
Buffy Summers and Gerald Tarrant meet in a bar. Would they hook up for a one night stand?
No. They really, really would not. Buffy, meeting pre-series-ending Gerald in a bar and seeing him sit there with his glass of blood, would reach for her stake. (And Gerald would reach for the fae, and Damien would start arguing with them both, and things would get all kinds of messy and confused. (Buffy and Damien, on the other hand, would so have a one-night stand, with a really lot of hot, athletic, sweaty sex.)) Post-series-ending Gerald... they probably would not be particularly attracted to, or interested in, each other.
hampden asked: i) Buffy Summers, Jack Harkness, Luna Lovegood, Alec, Brett Sinclair, Teyla Emmagan, Francesca Vecchio, Heero Yuy, Gerald Tarrant are working together - what is their annual company social event and where is it held, who's the belle of the ball, who gets off with the boss, who's the wallflower, who finds ingenious uses for the office photocopier and who has blackmail material on the rest?
I'm pretty sure that Jack has used the office photocopier for everything most people have ever thought of and some things they can't even imagine. The annual company social event is a Christmas party and dance; Luna was in charge of the arrangements one year, and no one who was there is ever going to forget it; next year Francesca took over, to everyone's relief, and bullied Brett into letting them use one of his nicer country houses. No one is surprised at how well Teyla dances; everyone is surprised at how well Heero dances, and the two of them spend almost the entire evening on the dance floor, not talking that much, but putting on a fantastic show. Jack doesn't get off with the boss -- been there, done that. Not to mention, been the boss and done that. He leaves it to Alec this time. Luna expects to be the wallflower, to sit and watch and think for herself, but she ends up having a long conversation with Buffy about demon fashions. Gerald has blackmail material on everyone going back more years than any of them except for Jack really realize, but so far, he hasn't needed to use it for anything.
Bertie Wooster, Luna Lovegood, Sam Winchester, Brett Sinclair, Heero Yuy, Cherry Aimless, Gerald Tarrant - who would you: fuck / marry / make tell you bedtime stories / employ for house-cleaning / take home to mother/ run from screaming / pose nekkid to admire the view?
I think I would probably run screaming from Gerald Tarrant, and be hunted down and die shaking with fear. I'd employ Cherry for house-cleaning; she would, of course, be excellent at it. Nurses have very high standards of hygiene. I'd stop her before she got started on little froufrou decorations and potpourri and whatnot. I'd take Heero home to my mother, who would feed him and make him weed the garden and probably try to teach him lace-making. I think it would be good for him. I'd get Brett to tell me bedtime stories; I'd marry Bertie for his money, poor dear; I'd pose Sam nekkid to admire the view (do I have to stop there?); and I would so have sex with Luna (hey, she was born in 1981, she's twenty-six now).
From lillian13: Bertie Wooster and Alec want to have a baby, but they can't. They enlist Teyla Emmagen and Gerald Tarrant to help.
omg no, let's leave Gerald out of it. Bertie and Alec want to have a baby, and--
*pause to laugh for about half an hour*
--obviously they have a few problems there. But then they run into Teyla, who is on Earth for reasons of her own, and she tells them about this amazing technology they have on Atlantis (see: various and sundry pieces of fanfic), and although Alec is extremely wary of any kind of genetic manipulation technology and letting ancient machinery with an unknown agenda construct a baby in a lab, still, they agree to give it a try. They manage to get to Atlantis and have wacky adventures, and... hmm, hey, there's this scientist there, Gerald Tarrant, who's been working on the technology... anyway, so they go for it, and nine months later, they have a little baby girl. They name her Dahlia.
Brett Sinclair loves Dean Winchester but Dean loves Jack Harkness but Jack loves Brett. What's the outcome?
The most immediate solution is a threesome. This is what comes of putting Jack in charge of problem-solving. Things are still tense between them, but at least they're having a lot of really good sex. Things remain tense and uncomfortable everywhere except in bed until Sam turns up to drag Dean away for some vitally important car-driving and demon-hunting and standing around and looking hot, and while Dean's away, Brett realizes he doesn't actually miss him as much as he'd thought, because there's Jack, and Jack is, well, he really is, you know? So it turns out to not be that much of a blow when Dean gets in touch to say that he's not coming back. (He doesn't mention that he's had a few realizations of his own, courtesy of Sam.)
Buffy Summers, Luna Lovegood, Sam Winchester, Dana Scully, Francesca Vecchio, Heero Yuy, Cherry Aimless, Amita Ramanujan, and Gerald Tarrant are on a baseball team. What positions would each one play?
No idea, sorry. I can vaguely recognize baseball when I see it, that's about it. *g*
Luna Lovegood, Dean Winchester, Francesca Vecchio, and Amita Ramanujan are trapped in an elevator together. What would happen?
Dean would congratulate himself on his amazing luck, get out a deck of cards and suggest that they play poker. Then he would suggest that they play strip poker. Luna would say that she didn't know how to play, and Dean would offer to teach her. Then Luna would clean him out and he'd eventually leave the elevator wearing one sock, while Amita and Francesca laughed until they couldn't stand up.
From temaris: Bertie Wooster was responsible for the vegetable oil, but who brought the straitjacket, and why does Cherry Aimless have carpal tunnel syndrome? And will the three of them ever get bail? And just why *were* they in the water tanker?
Well, Cherry was hired by Lady Constance to be Emsworth's new secretary, and she's not quite used to all the typing yet; Blandings has finally gone digital, and Emsworth is putting all the Empress' old feeding schedules into spreadsheets. This seemed like rank insanity to the Duke of Dunstable, of course, and he arrived at Blandings determined to put Emsworth in a straitjacket, but in order to avoid having to do the dirty work himself, he brought his new secretary, Sam Winchester, who looks reliably capable of wrestling nearly anyone into a straitjacket, let alone an elderly and eccentric peer. Sam, of course, is there for reasons of his own, investigating rumors of a Grey Lady. Emsworth thinks Dunstable is there to steal the Empress, and calls on his brother Gally for help, but Gally is unavoidably busy, and passes on the call for help until it reaches... well, it was supposed to reach Jeeves, but was intercepted by Bertie, who is on the outs with Jeeves because of a certain hat. Bertie goes to Blandings to save the Empress; he theorizes that no one can steal the Empress if they can't get hold of her, so he brings vegetable oil and sneaks out quietly in the middle of the night and greases her up. Sam sees him and thinks he's the ghost and goes out after him. Cherry, who has stayed up late to type in bran mash recipes from 1893, sees Sam and thinks he's a burglar and goes out after him. They all run into each other and Bertie, badly startled, manages to let the Empress out of her sty, and she takes off, and they take off after her, and Emsworth wakes up and shouts that someone is stealing his pig, and Dunstable wakes up and shouts that Emsworth has gone potty and there are burglars on the lawn and starts to shoot at them, and they run away from the shooting and after the Empress and end up out in the road and the Empress nearly gets run over and the driver of the water tanker skids and ends up sideways on the road and nearly has a heart attack and Cherry goes to give him medical attention and Bertie goes to see if he can hide from the crazy old man with the shotgun and Sam chases the Empress and she tries to get into the cab of the water tanker and he has to follow her and --
No. They will never get bail. Cherry will have to get a new job, Bertie will have to give up his hat, and Sam will have to put up with Dean teasing him for the rest of his life, but he already knew about that, so.
Brett Sinclair's childhood career as a ballet dancing prodigy has been a closely hidden secret, until Heero Yuy, a closet balletomane, recognises Brett following televised footage of his/her startlingly graceful leap for safety. Now Heero wants to start a troupe -- and Brett is listening. Teyla Emmagan, Dana Scully and Luna Lovegood join them, but what do they stage first, and where?
They do a version of The Nutcracker with Brett as Clara, Teyla as the Nutcracker/Prince, Scully as the Mouse King, and Luna as the Sugar Plum Fairy, and tour the Pegasus galaxy with it. It's a great hit. Especially with the Wraith, for some reason; they turn into great ballet fans, and give up universe-conquering in favor of practising pliés.
From graycastle: Okay, Gerald Tarrant and Heero Yuy get into a car accident: whose fault was it, who gets out and starts screaming, and does it end in a) sex, b) litigation or c) all of the above?
It was Heero's fault; he's not used to maneuvering things smaller than a Gundam, plus he's finally decided to join the Preventers and he's in a hurry to get to work. He would have admitted as much, except that Gerald, rather than ask for his insurance, starts to make cold-faced, flat-voiced, unpleasant threats, and so Heero tries to glare him into shutting up, which doesn't work, so much, and the air between them is about to turn into solid ice when Une calls Heero to find out where he is, since he's not where he ought to be. So Heero tells Gerald that he can sue the Unified Nations if he wants, and takes off, and Gerald figures out who he is and tracks him down and manages to get accidentally involved in some shootout or other, and then they have sex. Very silent and moody sex.
Buffy Summers, Francesca Vecchio, Alec, and Cherry Aimless are all Olympic athletes who meet either in Beijing or in Vancouver (depending on whether you want summer or winter). What sports do they each do? Who takes home a medal? When they all go to the bar to celebrate/commiserate after their events are completed, who drunkenly makes out with who?
Cherry's on the synchronized swimming team. They're very good, and Cherry has designed the most darling outfits for them; no one is surprised when they win the gold. Francesca is on the volleyball team, and very tired of people asking her if that's the beach volleyball team. They do okay, end up fifth, and Francesca's a bit disappointed but she goes out drinking with Cherry, who is always such an understanding listener, and also really attentive to all Francesca's fashion crises, and just generally an awesome and very pretty person, and... well, they end up in bed together. Again. Sooner or later they're going to face up to it and move in together.
Alec? Gymnastics. Rings, actually; he's got people writing love poems to his arms and shoulders. People other than Normal, even. He ends up with a silver medal because the gold medalist bribed the judges. No, really, that's why. Doesn't bother him at all. He spends the rest of his time getting friendly with some of the beach volleyball teams, and slapped down by Francesca.
Buffy's a marathon runner. She's got the right build for it, and she never, ever gives up. She's the favorite this year, everyone knows she's going to win. When she suddenly announces she's not even going to start, there's a massive uproar. Buffy just walks away, and never competes again. She says she has more important things to do.
Jack Harkness, Luna Lovegood, Sam Winchester and Dean Winchester are all members of local politics (city council, head of the parks committee, an association of local businesses, etc.). What goes down behind locked doors at the council meetings? Will the potholes issue drive somebody away from somebody else?
Luna claims that the potholes are the work of Nargles. Sam and Dean are not entirely on board with this idea. They do okay otherwise; Sam does most of the actual work, Jack does public relations (does he ever), Dean can be prodded into activity, and when she's not talking about Nargles, Luna keeps them all together by telling them what they actually mean when they say something, although it takes them a while to get used to it. Dean in particular is freaked out by how she tells Sam "Declarations of love are very important between family members" whenever Dean says "Bitch."
And from dorothy1901: Bertie Wooster's current identity is a carefully-created masquerade, because Bertie is secretly a time traveler (unless Bertie actually is a time traveler, in which case Francesca Vecchio is secretly a time traveler). When does Bertie (or maybe Francesca) really come from?
This is a bit complicated. Bertie Wooster really is a time traveller. He just doesn't know it. He just thinks sometimes that time seems to move at a different speed for other people; he himself always has all the time he needs. He hasn't even turned 35 yet, although he rather thought he should have, some time during the century. It's a little odd, but it doesn't bother him, and he doesn't think about it. It's true that he's feeling more and more detached from current events, but Jeeves is there to take care of him, after all.