i know your face

[flambeau]

Meme time! Like Smile Time but with fewer puppets. I think.

This is the meme, wot I got from merryish:

1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like

Comments

[greenmtnboy18]

Thanks! Everything (not exactly in order, and possibly leaving some stuff out by accident):

Her name is Deborah and we've known each other for about 2.5 years. We've actually KNOWN each other longer, as sort of "fandom acquaintances". Then about 2.5 years back I started to get a sense of THE PERSON and we moved into the more "recognizable" fandom connection of "I *recognize* that person, like their writing, like what they say onlist." We met through XF fandom, through stories.

We started to develop a closer friendship in 2006, and realized how astoundingly much we had in common, how similar our worldviews are. And not just on media. *g* By July/August of 2006 I was seriously debating with myself about 'do I want to try the long distance relationship thing again after I swore off it YEARS ago' and 'how to broach the subject'.

After much debate, I decided it was worth venturing - tentatively - in the direction of a long distance relationship. At least making an overture.

Needless to say, I did finally (October), because it was just that kind of closeness/friendship. :-) Happily, she was feeling the same way! We agreed that if we were going to move beyond friendship, we wanted to meet in person right away. We arranged to meet in San Francisco the first week of January 2007. In the meantime, our relationship continued to deepen. We focused on being CRYSTAL CLEAR with each other about who we were. The biggest difficulty of long distance relationships (for me) is the tendency to "project" our feelings onto the other person, and create someone in our heads who doesn't really exist.

We worked very diligently at NOT doing that, and instead at creating really honest communication. We focused on being as realistic as possible, and also managed to avoid some other pitfalls I'd unwittingly stumbled into in my past two long distance/email relationships, that had made me swear off them for good.

We met in SF and it was SO wonderful. :-) I've always been a serious loner with a lot of reservations about getting involved. This was a case of "when it's right, you just KNOW." We clicked in person just like we did online, and we each met EXACTLY the person we were expecting to meet. :-D We're both writers, so I think that helped in our ability to communicate clearly and honestly through email.

In January we were talking about trying to schedule to see each other at least once every three months this year, because we both wanted to continue. That quickly became obsolete, however, as it immediately became apparent that we were going to be ramping that up. She visited Vermont in February, then in March, and I scheduled a visit to Arkansas for April.

By the time she arrived in March, I had an engagement ring in my pocket.

In May, we went on our "eat dessert first honeymoon" and went to Europe (Germany, Paris, Venice) to see my sister who lives in Germany. We spent almost the entire month together.

Then I just went back down to Arkansas/Oklahoma on July 3, and just returned late last night.

Exactly a month from now I go back down and when I fly home, she comes up here with me... for good. :*) I've never been happier.

Let's see... She's 53, an amazing writer, and one of the best *friends* I've ever had. She's beautiful and sexy and sweet and *smart*. I love the way she thinks. Our interests are incredibly dove-tailed. We get *excited* about the same things. :-) We both love to travel, and we have similar goals. We want the same thing out of a relationship, and we ENJOy the same things in a relationship. The things that are different between us, we both find *interesting* in the other. We have similar histories, in a way, while being miles apart in our life experiences.

For a variety of reasons, she's moving here and we're going to live in Vermont. We're planning an October 6th wedding, and we're absolutely thrilled. :-D

[flambeau]

Alex, this is wonderful. *beams* I'm so happy for you! I hope the wedding turns out wonderful, although that's really... kind of a minor part of the main thing, which is that I hope and believe you're going to have a wonderful marriage. I'm so glad you've found someone and clicked like this. (See, fandom really does bring people together. I knew it.) Sometimes online connection doesn't really translate into real life connection, but when it does, it can be fantastic.

And I love the idea of a honeymoon before the wedding -- how did you come up with that? hee. Sounds like you had a great trip, too, to some great places. Paris and Venice in May must be very conducive to romance. ;)