Ewan's penis (and other things)

[flambeau]

Things that have entertained me lately, for various reasons, in no particular order: Two Lumps; bridge crossings; the sad decline of epic-writing since the mid-90s; Ewan McGregor; a truly driven artist. Also Le Morte d'Arthur, which I am currently rereading. I'd forgotten just how plain wacky it is, and now, of course, I'm seeing them all as anime

Comments

[zortified]

Anakin came into the room they'd been given, and slammed to a halt and stared.

"Yes, Anakin?" Master Kenobi barely glanced at him.

"I...I'm sorry, Master." Anakin belatedly diverted his gaze.

"Ani, you know a Jedi has no embarrassment over such things as nudity."

Anakin gulped and nodded quickly. "Yes, Master. I'm not..I just... I wasn't expecting...."

He'd never actually seen Master Kenobi fully nude, before. And it was true -- Jedi had no taboos about such things. It wasn't like he'd never seen a nude person before; he was nearly seventeen and he'd spent enough time training with other Padawans that the idea of a communal shower was no more remarkable than a communal meal.

But he'd never seen his Master, naked.

"Anakin?" Master Kenobi's voice was -- amused.

Which meant he understood. Anakin forced himself to speak calmly. "I didn't expect it to be blue. Or...have feathers."

"No one ever does," Kenobi said, laughing.

Anakin nodded, and found himself hastily revising a dozen or more nighttime fantasies.

Of course, he had no idea how his Master managed, without the feathers getting in the way.

[cathexys]

hastily revising a dozen or more nighttime fantasies beautiful!!! :-) thank you!!!

wasn't there a subset of alien!obi-wan stories way back when???

[fleurrochard]

....
Now I want to know how his Master does manage, without the feathers going in the way.
...
*dies giggling*

[zortified]

You'd have to ask flambeau, because this is all her fault.

[flambeau]

Oi!

Hmm.

"It is a little inconvenient," Obi-Wan admitted, "only being able to have penetrative sex during the molting period."

Anakin tried very hard to look at something, anything, that wasn't blue and feathered, and failed spectacularly. "And, uh, when is the molting period?"

"Usually around sunset." Obi-Wan looked out the window. "It should start at any--"

A blue feather drifted slowly to the floor.

[fleurrochard]

Ooooooooooh! *is intrigued*
More, please? *looks cute*

[zortified]

Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Poor Obi-Wan -- he grows new feathers every morning? That must feel weird. ;-)

This clearly calls for an epic novel. looks at you and waits

[flambeau]

The first molting period is a sign of sexual maturity, of course. Back when, Obi-Wan was terribly embarrassed when Qui-Gon found a feather on the bathroom floor...

*beats back freaky idea*

[zortified]

gives freaky idea some sunflower seeds and coaxes it back

[flambeau]

And here I thought RotS was going to bring a wave of blue ghost sex, not blue feathered sex.

[flambeau]

Aie! Hee!

Now I really, really want to know how he manages. With the feathers.

[zortified]

You're the one who gave him the feathers! You tell me how he manages. Or in your cruel, cold world, does Obi-Wan get no sex?

No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition

[executrix]

Anakin: I've...never seen anything like that. What do you call it?
Obi-Wan: Hope is the Thing with feathers.

At least he doesn't have to wait seven years to molt.