hello people
Wow. It's been a long ass time since I wrote last. In here atleast. I've been working, hangin out whenpossible, and doing alot of thinking. I wanna do things, be somebody and all that great shit. I just gotta work on not being so damned lazy all the time. I've been thinking alot about my father too. Sometimes I wish.. I just wish. I know that there are those of you out there that understand what it's like. I want a father who can be a dad. I wish that I could someday get engaged and go runny to him and be like "Daddy guess what!" or even, "Daddy put your shot gun away. I'm gonna be with him whether you like it or not." But I'll never have that. I will never have the memories of my dad taking us for ice cream and having fun and laughter and not having a horrible memory of that day imediately folling it. I won't have a dad to give me away at my wedding. Not even a step father. Leah and Krista, I am sorry if this is hard for you to read, because you lost your fathers. I do not know that agony yet and I pray I won't for many years to come. Unlike you I sill have a sliver of hope that by some miraculous deed, my father will be a decent man or that I find I have a different father and get to catch up with him or something, and for your loss I am truley sorry. I can only hope that you two and whoever else that reads this that has lost a father or has one like mine or mother even, that we will all one day find the peace that we need. I feel I should resign now before I start to cry.