Entry 30 - Hitting the reset button
A lot has happened since my breakdown. I'm not going to cover it all right now, if at all, some things were hard enough coming to terms with once, and I have no need to relive them.
I realised when I was thinking of this sporadic journal again that I had never been truly honest with the things I wrote. Sometimes it was because I was afraid Claire would somehow find out, sometimes because I was too embarrassed or ashamed to admit it. That stops. No pussyfooting. If I'm going to do this a third time, I'm doing it right.
That means I may complain about Claire Corney mire than I ever complained about my ex. This is a result of honesty, not unhappiness. Luckily, I've already taken a policy of honesty with Claire. There were too many lies and half truths in my old relationship and I wanted this one to make me happy, and it has.
I've been pissed off at Tim and Amy today, for the past 2months, they've been the worst friends. Luckily for me, I'm finding more people at work to be friends and not just colleagues. Obviously, some of them I already counted among my friends (Jacqui and Alice primarily) but it's nice having a social group again instead of continually just hanging out as 2 couples. It's also nice to go out for am evening and not feel like you have to babysit your partner, but that's a different story.
Hospital tomorrow to start asking for information about surgery to get rid of my hernia. Fingers crossed, because it'd be nice to be able to fit in t shirts properly again, and better yet, not feel disgusted if I want to take it off.
I have a feeling 2011 is going to be a great year, it's started off well. =]
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