"In a battle inside of my soul, always better a fashion show then no show at all"
When things start to fall back into place someone pulls the rug from underneath me.
I think Im at a turning point in my life.. just a great sense of gloom and tipsy turvy instability. The feeling jsut came out of nowhere really.. well maybe it has to do with everyone leaving for school. yea thats probably it. You know what sucks about depression? you cant really get rid of it...it takes almost drastic measures to feel at ease or rational ones which takes time to evolve into a new lifestyle. ..yes..change is the only way to dissipate that bitch of a sickness called depression. Im the type that takes drastic measures.. something that hurts too much to endure, my selfish ass ends up putting as much distance possible between myself and the dilemma/problem /bullshit/wutever. Why do I do these things?.. shutting people out of my life.. theres really no practical reason to do these things..letting the world go by without me while I stand around and observe..it gets ridiculously annoying. This, which I hope is a false, perception I have experienced with modern society scares the shit out of me. well.. I dont want to get into it... wutever..im babbling
I guess Im at that point again where I question my self worth and the direction im heading.. this time for reals.. as a high school graduate borderline on the fact that Im going to be on my own soon...REAL soon.. no time for this bullshit drama I seem to unwantingly generate for myself. This is real Drama (with a capital D)..fuckin economics and everyday politics..
along with the aftermath of this reality freight train colliding with my ex-content world.. I reflected back.. and I guess I am calm about alot of things I was sad/angry about that happened in the past with other people or person..and well..yea Ive missed talkin to them and think Im ready to repair any damaged seemingly nonexsitant friendships that had unexplainably gone sour..
anyway..next topic
heh.. i guess dont really have one.
payce.
-nate
pressed escape
-
I think Im at a turning point in my life.. just a great sense of gloom and tipsy turvy instability. The feeling jsut came out of nowhere really.. well maybe it has to do with everyone leaving for school. yea thats probably it. You know what sucks about depression? you cant really get rid of it...it takes almost drastic measures to feel at ease or rational ones which takes time to evolve into a new lifestyle. ..yes..change is the only way to dissipate that bitch of a sickness called depression. Im the type that takes drastic measures.. something that hurts too much to endure, my selfish ass ends up putting as much distance possible between myself and the dilemma/problem /bullshit/wutever. Why do I do these things?.. shutting people out of my life.. theres really no practical reason to do these things..letting the world go by without me while I stand around and observe..it gets ridiculously annoying. This, which I hope is a false, perception I have experienced with modern society scares the shit out of me. well.. I dont want to get into it... wutever..im babbling
I guess Im at that point again where I question my self worth and the direction im heading.. this time for reals.. as a high school graduate borderline on the fact that Im going to be on my own soon...REAL soon.. no time for this bullshit drama I seem to unwantingly generate for myself. This is real Drama (with a capital D)..fuckin economics and everyday politics..
along with the aftermath of this reality freight train colliding with my ex-content world.. I reflected back.. and I guess I am calm about alot of things I was sad/angry about that happened in the past with other people or person..and well..yea Ive missed talkin to them and think Im ready to repair any damaged seemingly nonexsitant friendships that had unexplainably gone sour..
anyway..next topic
heh.. i guess dont really have one.
payce.
-nate
pressed escape
-