Pink Starbursts
Well I can't sleep again. What a surprise. Insomnia is so stupid. It's such a waste of time and energy because I just lay there in bed thinking about all the things I don't want to think about. It's usually because I feel like crying but I don't really have anything to cry about.
I've had a whole lot on my mind today. I've been thinking a lot about this girl I used to like a long time ago in high school. She once told me that the pink starbursts were her favorite, so I would save all my pink starbursts for her and give them to her when we passed each other in the hallway between classes just because I loved to see her smile so much. I spent so much money on starbursts. She must've gotten so sick of them!
One day, after a night of insomnia much like the one I am experiencing now, I handed her a starburst on my way to the cafeteria as she was walking out. She smiled at me and said, "How are you Quentin? You look tired!" All I said was, "Yeah," and walked away. Another time I wrote her a letter before school telling her some stupid shit about the day I had before and asking her how her weekend was. I wrapped a pink starburst up in it and planned to hand it to her at one of our usual exchange points throughout the day. I never did, though.
Oh, how times have changed. Everything was so new and innocent back then, and there was so much hope in every day. I still talk to her on facebook every once in awhile, and each time I am reminded of how so many starbursts with so much potential were wasted because of a shyness that I still to this day haven't grown out of.
I really want to drop acid again just to forget about feeling for awhile. Sometimes I get so sick of feeling.
Maybe I'll do it on a pink starburst.