how was the last five years?.
I can't believe i've spent the last hour looking for a new livejournal layout..as if that weren't nerdy enough.. only to realize that i like the one i have. i'm just not ready to change history.
There was this person who once told me that it wasn't me, it was just where we were in life that kept us apart,and though i cried and cried and didn't get it.. at 20 years old, looking back on it, i finally understand what he meant.
In hindsight find that some of those old conversations that for some reason i couldn't live with out at the time are some of the most precious memories i have of my adolescent life. i feel like we're always looking for the right answer, but never really finding it...and though we get taller, and birthdays pass, and our vocabularies become more extensive, and our writing style changes..we're still puzzled about where we're going, but we always love to see where we've been.
SO...
There's this church thing, that i can't really seem to get myself back into. i guess i'm just tired of focusing on "the right path that gawd wants me to be on...blah blah." i mean, i believe in God, no doubt. I'm just sick of no one agreeing on what the "RIGHT PATH" is. I'm sick of being called a sinner by the "you're-going-to-burn-in-hell-if-you-don't-look-at-me- and-pay-attention-to-my-massed-produced-double-folded-sign-in-red-letters-that's..-did-i-mention-that-it's-massed-produced?-and-probably-more-expensive-than-two-times-the-tithe-we-get-every-sunday.." Christians. I really would like to personally inform each one of them that God is not equlivant to that work-obsessed parent that told you to be good and stay out of his hair. They don't have to keep tugging at his sleeve..
Then there's what I like to call the Commercialized Christian. The C.C. that's all about the JC. and they make sure you KNOW IT!....for some reason i feel like i took that from somewhere..i don't think the first two lines were orignial.oh well. These are the type that almost never stop smiling and handing out tracks and talking about how it was a sign from the Lord that a yellow-cat ran out infront of their car today but didn't get hit because GAWD intervened and they slammed the breaks just in time! all before 9:30am. what a day ! They're also the type that use prayer requests as a gossip circle and when you actually do pay their church a visit, it's like going to a miley cyrus concert. They have lots of alter calls and are constantly getting "born again"...which was something i thought you were only supposed to do once. I realize that at my attempt at being comical, this sounds compleatly jaded...I used to be this kind of Christian..and i don't know if i was ever really happy, or just wiping vasaline(sp?) on my teeth to keep smiling. This "right path" isn't very attractive to me because i feel like there's no tolorence for normal human emotion. unless you're repenting or something.
Then there's my personal favorite the "1-hour-christian" check in on sunday morning, check out for the rest of the week. i think this is the one i currently closely identify with, except i never really check in on sundays. or any day. i guess i just don't really know where to go with it..i feel like religion is so flawed,but that doesn't mean i'm above it. i think God misses me. I hope He does. I'm sorry God, I just don't know what to say to you these days. Its like that old friend that you knew really well when you were younger, and then you bump into them in college after not speaking to them for like 5 years...i mean..what do you say? "how was the last five years?"
Love,
Aly
There was this person who once told me that it wasn't me, it was just where we were in life that kept us apart,and though i cried and cried and didn't get it.. at 20 years old, looking back on it, i finally understand what he meant.
In hindsight find that some of those old conversations that for some reason i couldn't live with out at the time are some of the most precious memories i have of my adolescent life. i feel like we're always looking for the right answer, but never really finding it...and though we get taller, and birthdays pass, and our vocabularies become more extensive, and our writing style changes..we're still puzzled about where we're going, but we always love to see where we've been.
SO...
There's this church thing, that i can't really seem to get myself back into. i guess i'm just tired of focusing on "the right path that gawd wants me to be on...blah blah." i mean, i believe in God, no doubt. I'm just sick of no one agreeing on what the "RIGHT PATH" is. I'm sick of being called a sinner by the "you're-going-to-burn-in-hell-if-you-don't-look-at-me- and-pay-attention-to-my-massed-produced-double-folded-sign-in-red-letters-that's..-did-i-mention-that-it's-massed-produced?-and-probably-more-expensive-than-two-times-the-tithe-we-get-every-sunday.." Christians. I really would like to personally inform each one of them that God is not equlivant to that work-obsessed parent that told you to be good and stay out of his hair. They don't have to keep tugging at his sleeve..
Then there's what I like to call the Commercialized Christian. The C.C. that's all about the JC. and they make sure you KNOW IT!....for some reason i feel like i took that from somewhere..i don't think the first two lines were orignial.oh well. These are the type that almost never stop smiling and handing out tracks and talking about how it was a sign from the Lord that a yellow-cat ran out infront of their car today but didn't get hit because GAWD intervened and they slammed the breaks just in time! all before 9:30am. what a day ! They're also the type that use prayer requests as a gossip circle and when you actually do pay their church a visit, it's like going to a miley cyrus concert. They have lots of alter calls and are constantly getting "born again"...which was something i thought you were only supposed to do once. I realize that at my attempt at being comical, this sounds compleatly jaded...I used to be this kind of Christian..and i don't know if i was ever really happy, or just wiping vasaline(sp?) on my teeth to keep smiling. This "right path" isn't very attractive to me because i feel like there's no tolorence for normal human emotion. unless you're repenting or something.
Then there's my personal favorite the "1-hour-christian" check in on sunday morning, check out for the rest of the week. i think this is the one i currently closely identify with, except i never really check in on sundays. or any day. i guess i just don't really know where to go with it..i feel like religion is so flawed,but that doesn't mean i'm above it. i think God misses me. I hope He does. I'm sorry God, I just don't know what to say to you these days. Its like that old friend that you knew really well when you were younger, and then you bump into them in college after not speaking to them for like 5 years...i mean..what do you say? "how was the last five years?"
Love,
Aly