you say the world it doesn't fit with you..?

[flagteamreject]

.."you say the word it doesn't fit with you..

I don't believe you, You're so serene.
Careening through the universe, You're axis on a tilt, You're guiltless and free,
I hope you take a piece of me with you, "

-third eye blind.

has anyone ever felt as if they are holding themselves back?

like..you're just not yourself. theres so much more you could be.

theres so much more you could be doing, and you're missing out..

i don't know why i haven't been myself lately. and its not on love..

the things i used to love, i don't love anymore.
the things that used to pulse through my veins, aren't pulsing anymore

its like i've lost interest in life all of the sudden

and i'm watching myself live it in apathy.

i don't know whats wrong with me.

i'm generally a very passionate person. when i do something, i put my whole heart and soul into it..

but lately, its been different.

what am i missing?

where has my heart gone?

wheres my sense of adventure? and my love for life itself?

what is it thats draining me so much...?

and why do i have the urge to get away... not for forever, but just for a while

by myself.

i used to be a child of God...and now i can't even look Him in the face.

i think thats what all this is. there's where all my trouble is..

i've become self-absorbed, and left God out.

i've become jaded, and calloused to everything and everyone.

thats why i get so angry now, thats why i feel so empty.

there is all my apathy..

i, alyson bott, am a sinner.

...but i know God still loves me..