"jacob conformed his will, to God's will, and received the name "Isreal"

[flagteamreject]

"woke up from my sleep to the sound of that voice
From the words that I heard I had no choice
They told me I had to turn around
My assurance slowly faded down
And I wonder

The plans that I had were quickly destroyed
The problem was one I couldn't avoid
They welcomed me to stay overnight
I'm too tired to complain so i just might
And I wonder

will i ever make it home?"

From christian to christian, you know how it is sometimes..

when God's called you to something, but you just don't want to..well
your afraid to.

so you just ignore it
and ignore it

and ignore it. more

and then all you have is emptiness.

because deep down you know, your not doing God's will. your doing your will.

and then things just get complicated.

i announced to my friends from parkview, that i would be returning next year.

i now feel differently.

"The plans that i had were quickly destroyed."

i feel that God wants me at saint michaels.

and i've always known that.

i just didn't want it to be true...but everytime i've prayed about it

Gods always said "stay."

which means, i won't be coming back.

i can't go back knowing that God wants me to move foreward...

same with saint andrews..

i've been ignoring God in that area too....and then God pretty much "backhanded" me on sunday morning last weekend at woodlawn

"sometimes when God gives us a mission, or gives us direction, we get off track..and then we lose sight, and lose hope of the ultimate goal"..

bro. tommy.

i think its time for me to grow up.

and like jacob, who wrestled with the angel "conform my will, to Gods will"..

i don't know whats going to happen next year. i could very well be miserable.
at saint michaels..

and as i've said before, its not the people
they..my friends i've made there
are wonderful. and i love them to death.

its the way things are run there...the strictness of it all..
and especially
the religion.

the song that i've put in the top of this entry "will i ever make it home" describes exactly how i feel

"My weariness keeps growing inside
My patience is starting to subside"

"They told me I had to turn around
My assurance slowly faded down"

please..pray for me..

sorry if this ruined your friends page lol

much love
-aly