and just when I thought it might not happen again....
A friend of mine gave me some disturbing news a couple of days ago and i've been trying to process it and figure it out.
There is a core group of friends that I have, and subsequently a larger circle of people that I consider friends but don't get a chance to hang out with a lot. These larger group of people are people that I will forever have a fondness for and respect for but will probably only see here and there - and those times of interaction will be sweet and wonderful. They are my friends.
Within my core group of friends there was a young man who was dealing with his sexuality. He existed in an evironment that was most likely not going to be compatible with being gay. So we sought to help him build a network of friends that he might have for support should anything go awry when the time came that he felt comfortable coming out. That time came, and that time passed and everyone was very supportive in his life and we were very grateful for it.
He recently began to date someone, and we cautioned him that he was fresh out of the closet and perhaps relationships weren't what he needed to focus on at this time, and he of course ignored our advice as most young gay men do. But we were right, of course, as we most of the time are...people should really listen to their Empress...and he broke up with the young man he was dating.
A sidestory was that another of our friends recently broke up with his several month relationship as well...the boy he was dating ended up being untrustworthy and a liar...and basically stupid.
But to our great surprise...the first friend went behind everyone's back and began to date this untrustworthy ex-boyfriend. Now I understand that it is not our place to make friends so that we can tell them who to date and who not to date - but it seems to me that if we know someone is not a good person and then you end up dating that person knowing full well that they betrayed a friend of yours...that seems stupid to me. it's like when someone's best friend breaks up with their girlfriend and the best friend begins dating her...I mean, what the hell is wrong with people? You simply don't do that. it betrays friendship.
This young man did exactly that - and it seems ridiculous to me. When we take someone in to teach them how to deal with their sexuality it is not to teach them how to betray their friends and hurt people. There are moments when one needs to be bitchy - and as a gay man this "bitch" button can be incredibly useful...but it's not on all the time and there are proper manners and ways that people interact that should really be maintained. The guy didn't even talk to us to let us know he was interested in our friend's ex-boyfriend, and even if he had we would have advised against it anyway.
He seems not to care, and this is not the first time he's done this. During a party he flirted with my date the entire night and then tried to date him later. I shrugged it off because I was moving and my date would not have been a good choice for me to date anyway - so it seemed not to matter - but I did note that he had tried to undermine me by stealing my date. He said he felt bad about it, and he should have, but I didn't really make a big deal of it. This time, however...i'm making a big deal about it.
I just don't understand people sometimes...
-aaron-
There is a core group of friends that I have, and subsequently a larger circle of people that I consider friends but don't get a chance to hang out with a lot. These larger group of people are people that I will forever have a fondness for and respect for but will probably only see here and there - and those times of interaction will be sweet and wonderful. They are my friends.
Within my core group of friends there was a young man who was dealing with his sexuality. He existed in an evironment that was most likely not going to be compatible with being gay. So we sought to help him build a network of friends that he might have for support should anything go awry when the time came that he felt comfortable coming out. That time came, and that time passed and everyone was very supportive in his life and we were very grateful for it.
He recently began to date someone, and we cautioned him that he was fresh out of the closet and perhaps relationships weren't what he needed to focus on at this time, and he of course ignored our advice as most young gay men do. But we were right, of course, as we most of the time are...people should really listen to their Empress...and he broke up with the young man he was dating.
A sidestory was that another of our friends recently broke up with his several month relationship as well...the boy he was dating ended up being untrustworthy and a liar...and basically stupid.
But to our great surprise...the first friend went behind everyone's back and began to date this untrustworthy ex-boyfriend. Now I understand that it is not our place to make friends so that we can tell them who to date and who not to date - but it seems to me that if we know someone is not a good person and then you end up dating that person knowing full well that they betrayed a friend of yours...that seems stupid to me. it's like when someone's best friend breaks up with their girlfriend and the best friend begins dating her...I mean, what the hell is wrong with people? You simply don't do that. it betrays friendship.
This young man did exactly that - and it seems ridiculous to me. When we take someone in to teach them how to deal with their sexuality it is not to teach them how to betray their friends and hurt people. There are moments when one needs to be bitchy - and as a gay man this "bitch" button can be incredibly useful...but it's not on all the time and there are proper manners and ways that people interact that should really be maintained. The guy didn't even talk to us to let us know he was interested in our friend's ex-boyfriend, and even if he had we would have advised against it anyway.
He seems not to care, and this is not the first time he's done this. During a party he flirted with my date the entire night and then tried to date him later. I shrugged it off because I was moving and my date would not have been a good choice for me to date anyway - so it seemed not to matter - but I did note that he had tried to undermine me by stealing my date. He said he felt bad about it, and he should have, but I didn't really make a big deal of it. This time, however...i'm making a big deal about it.
I just don't understand people sometimes...
-aaron-