This is why I usually have picture entries.
Alright, so do you ever get that feeling where you KNOW you have to do something, but the simple thought of it makes you want to put it off forever? It's almost like you get so nervous that you'd rather be doing anything than that. You get that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach and you look around at all of your competetors only to find that they look 1,000 times more sane than you do, and they look like they really know what they're doing.
I get this feeling a lot. I feel like I haven't practiced or prepared enough as everyone around me. They look so much more capable and I feel like I'm getting ready to let myself down.
I swear I know all my scales. In the order they are on the scale page. So it's more like i don't know them. If you were to call out a scale for me to play I'd tell you to go away and stop being such a jerk. Seriously. So this means that Monday I am screwed. I will have this icky, horrible feeling about me until then; I will have nightmares of child prodigys beating me and then smashing my french horn or something as equally lame.
Monday I will go to school, suck at life and be sad because the people who practice daily will have beaten me.
The best thing about this horrible icky feeling that I have right now is that when Monday has passed, I will feel that much better; whatever the outcome. The problem is that I'm so used to scraping by things and bullshitting life, that even if I DO feel terrible until tryouts, I won't do as horribly as I thought I would in the end. It scares me that I know this;this could be the one time I don't do alright.
I always get this terrible feeling before running too. I HATE running to the extent that when I get through with it, it's the best feeling in the world. And honestly, it is the best feeling in the world.
It's almost like this: the things I dread doing most, end up having greater rewards in the end. That sucks.
I'll probably delete this because I don't like it. k. awesome.
SMILE.