Sweet Sweet procrastination
god i have this terrible urge to not strudy french. i hate it so damn much.
so i was reading livejournals because i do from time to time. reading the last couple ones i've written just made me realise how rarely i post. i think in 3 entries it was already back to summer. not much has happened. I have helped start a auto enthusiasts club at the U of M, our big project is to get a car show set up for the end of april. Cars continue to be an ever-present part of my life, and even though i can't honestly say i am not at all proud of the car i drive, it gets me to where i need to go and doesn't cost much along the way. In the near future i fully intend to purchase the 240sx that i have known for years now that i want. only know i can aim at the last year they were produced and by the time i'm ready i will be able to afford a very nice one, which should be a perfect place to start creating what will be the expression of my views on what a properly modded automobile should be like. Tiffany and I are still together and are happy most of the time, although i think we can be a little bit of a bad influence on each other (we tend to be lazy and cuddle a lot when we are together).
I attended my first funeral over spring break. It was not as bad as i had anticipated, but i got the feeling that i was not as emotional as perhaps i should have been. I wasn't really close to the deceased but at the same time i felt like maybe i should have shed a tear, but it was just another way for me to wonder about large philosophical things, more specifically the point of life and the results of death. It brought me back to when i was 15 and lost my faith thinking about things like that. And i felt terrible thinking that this sweet woman is now gone and her body is rotting in the ground. but for the life of me i couldn't bring myself to buy that she was anywhere else. Its a nice thought, kind of like how i hope one day i will be rich and successful, but the underlying reality that never loses its grip is that i'll remain middle-income and live a simple life. which is fine, i can deal with that, but theres something in me that envies the blind "faith" that people have in stories written in books, stories that for all we know evolved from fables and stories written by ancient men, and passed down via social norms and values. its all a bit much for me to take in, and i'm so busy these days that i dont have the time for self reflection and self pity that i did in highschool. Don't get me wrong its mostly reflection, but i look at highschool kids and remember how i was, how i thought, how i acted, how i looked at the world and it just makes me laugh now to think that such simple small things caused me so much anguish. whats sad is that i would go back if given the chance, they were probably the best years of my life, and although i realise that college is great and i love being more and more independent and being closer and closer to an adult, i wish i was still carefree and in highschool, getting notes from girls, going to band practice, being a lovable loser. granted i'm still a lovable loser, but people tend to care less now. driving around in my maxima, hanging out with all my friends, and knowing they are all in the same place 5 days out of the week. bah...
Nick and Megan are engaged. It has been 5 years in the making mind you, but its still such a shock...i'm interested to see how things progress, if he changes much...etc. He dropped more money on her ring than i've made in the last year. Its kind of depressing....
I miss kung fu....
Being roommates with chris is interesting, i think in a lot of ways he is a good roommate, but we definately have our differences. The nice part is i have tiffany's place, and so i can kind of pick and choose when i want to be around.
My brother is now taller than I am. Its funny to watch him react to people when they tell him he's grown because he's heard it from everyone at every family gatheing. He's so damn cynical all the time, and he's smart so it makes it even more unnerving. I think its great that he can see through a lot of things, but i dont know if its great that he lets people know that he can. Not to mention he acts like nothing affects him, and i'd like to chalk it up to highschool ignorance and social conditioning, but sometimes i wish he'd seem genuinely pleased to have me around when i do visit, or god forbid, go out and do something with him. I think the most common greeting i get from him is "what are you doing here". Like i'm tresspassing in my own home. I can imagine things will get spicy when i live at home over the summer, he's had the basement to himself for a long time, and i dont know if he'll be at all happy to have somebody living down there again.
I haven't spoken to Shannon in multiple months. There was a long stretch of time there were i was really bothered by it, she'd show up in my dreams, and things like that. I found out she's engaged to her 30 year old boyfriend whom she'd been dating for 2 months at the time of the engagement. The things that bothers me isn't that she's engaged, or that he's 30, but just that we went from being comfortable talking to each other like normal people and then she just dissapeared. I know she's still around, she still lives in bloomington, probably works at the mall and probably lives with her dad less than 4 blocks from where i work, but i have seen her on aim once, she gave no response, and gotten no phone calls, even after i called to wish her a happy birthday. I've kind of come to terms with the fact that she must just not care, but having the permanent cold shoulder given to you by someone you were once so close to kind of hurts, especially when no explanation is given.
what else is new....hrmm...tony is in school and has a job and i'm damn proud of him for taking control of his life and i'm very happy for him. He also got drunk a bunch in florida without me, to which i say booo....hehe.
well i think this entry is long enough...perhaps i'll update perhaps i wont....i guess it'll depend on if anyone but tiffany reads this.
so i was reading livejournals because i do from time to time. reading the last couple ones i've written just made me realise how rarely i post. i think in 3 entries it was already back to summer. not much has happened. I have helped start a auto enthusiasts club at the U of M, our big project is to get a car show set up for the end of april. Cars continue to be an ever-present part of my life, and even though i can't honestly say i am not at all proud of the car i drive, it gets me to where i need to go and doesn't cost much along the way. In the near future i fully intend to purchase the 240sx that i have known for years now that i want. only know i can aim at the last year they were produced and by the time i'm ready i will be able to afford a very nice one, which should be a perfect place to start creating what will be the expression of my views on what a properly modded automobile should be like. Tiffany and I are still together and are happy most of the time, although i think we can be a little bit of a bad influence on each other (we tend to be lazy and cuddle a lot when we are together).
I attended my first funeral over spring break. It was not as bad as i had anticipated, but i got the feeling that i was not as emotional as perhaps i should have been. I wasn't really close to the deceased but at the same time i felt like maybe i should have shed a tear, but it was just another way for me to wonder about large philosophical things, more specifically the point of life and the results of death. It brought me back to when i was 15 and lost my faith thinking about things like that. And i felt terrible thinking that this sweet woman is now gone and her body is rotting in the ground. but for the life of me i couldn't bring myself to buy that she was anywhere else. Its a nice thought, kind of like how i hope one day i will be rich and successful, but the underlying reality that never loses its grip is that i'll remain middle-income and live a simple life. which is fine, i can deal with that, but theres something in me that envies the blind "faith" that people have in stories written in books, stories that for all we know evolved from fables and stories written by ancient men, and passed down via social norms and values. its all a bit much for me to take in, and i'm so busy these days that i dont have the time for self reflection and self pity that i did in highschool. Don't get me wrong its mostly reflection, but i look at highschool kids and remember how i was, how i thought, how i acted, how i looked at the world and it just makes me laugh now to think that such simple small things caused me so much anguish. whats sad is that i would go back if given the chance, they were probably the best years of my life, and although i realise that college is great and i love being more and more independent and being closer and closer to an adult, i wish i was still carefree and in highschool, getting notes from girls, going to band practice, being a lovable loser. granted i'm still a lovable loser, but people tend to care less now. driving around in my maxima, hanging out with all my friends, and knowing they are all in the same place 5 days out of the week. bah...
Nick and Megan are engaged. It has been 5 years in the making mind you, but its still such a shock...i'm interested to see how things progress, if he changes much...etc. He dropped more money on her ring than i've made in the last year. Its kind of depressing....
I miss kung fu....
Being roommates with chris is interesting, i think in a lot of ways he is a good roommate, but we definately have our differences. The nice part is i have tiffany's place, and so i can kind of pick and choose when i want to be around.
My brother is now taller than I am. Its funny to watch him react to people when they tell him he's grown because he's heard it from everyone at every family gatheing. He's so damn cynical all the time, and he's smart so it makes it even more unnerving. I think its great that he can see through a lot of things, but i dont know if its great that he lets people know that he can. Not to mention he acts like nothing affects him, and i'd like to chalk it up to highschool ignorance and social conditioning, but sometimes i wish he'd seem genuinely pleased to have me around when i do visit, or god forbid, go out and do something with him. I think the most common greeting i get from him is "what are you doing here". Like i'm tresspassing in my own home. I can imagine things will get spicy when i live at home over the summer, he's had the basement to himself for a long time, and i dont know if he'll be at all happy to have somebody living down there again.
I haven't spoken to Shannon in multiple months. There was a long stretch of time there were i was really bothered by it, she'd show up in my dreams, and things like that. I found out she's engaged to her 30 year old boyfriend whom she'd been dating for 2 months at the time of the engagement. The things that bothers me isn't that she's engaged, or that he's 30, but just that we went from being comfortable talking to each other like normal people and then she just dissapeared. I know she's still around, she still lives in bloomington, probably works at the mall and probably lives with her dad less than 4 blocks from where i work, but i have seen her on aim once, she gave no response, and gotten no phone calls, even after i called to wish her a happy birthday. I've kind of come to terms with the fact that she must just not care, but having the permanent cold shoulder given to you by someone you were once so close to kind of hurts, especially when no explanation is given.
what else is new....hrmm...tony is in school and has a job and i'm damn proud of him for taking control of his life and i'm very happy for him. He also got drunk a bunch in florida without me, to which i say booo....hehe.
well i think this entry is long enough...perhaps i'll update perhaps i wont....i guess it'll depend on if anyone but tiffany reads this.