Consequences - gwen bashing!
I own all of the torchwood books - some I love and some I hate. Some, I love so much I’ve read them over and over until I can quote my favourite parts....
Clearing out my wardrobe last week, I noticed the book Consequences. Then I suddenly realised that I hadn't read this one yet! And I got very, very excited...
But, I thought I’d save it till the 19th to read (being results day, it could either be a reward, or something to take my mind off it!) Then I realised it was also Ianto Jones’s birthday, so I couldn't have picked a more perfect day! Haha, I’m so cool....
The, I also realised - this was very likely to be the very last piece of canon which included Ianto Jones :')
Anyway, I've just finished it, and while I did love some AMAZING Ianto bits, most of the time I was grumbling at how much I loathed Gwen.... And even Jack at times! I'm not sure if it was just tainted by the Gwen-wood spoilers or what.... but some bits did make me 'grrr.' And - get this - some bits made me like Gwen! Seriously... I didn’t think it was possible!
So, for you all to enjoy, my review of Consequence, from a Gwen-basher's POV! (Spoilers, you have been warned!)
This book consists of 5 short stories:
____________
The Baby Farmers, David Llewellyn.
This story is set entirely in the past (I’ll assume, honestly, I skimmed the second half!)
It's at a time where Jack was a free-lance Torchwood Agent, under the supervision of Alice and Emily. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of either of them.... they kind of annoy me - smug and arrogant....Way more competent that they probably should be at the time... remind you of anyone? There were some other characters too - mostly love-interests of Jack or enemies of Jack.... I never get that attached to one-off characters in the books. None of these made any exception
Overall, 3/10. I didn't enjoy the story, points added mainly for no Gwen!
____________
Kaleidoscope, Sarah Pinborough
Ok, so now were at a point where Jack has left torchwood for the Doctor, and the team are deciding a new leader. Gwen Bash Galore!
Tosh really doesn't want the job, apparently, Gwen doesn't either because she's the 'new girl' (when it suits her, anyway)
Owen quite fancies himself as the new captain, but no-one wants him to take the position! To anyone else, it would appear he's in it for the glory, whatever, but Gwen, bleeding heart Gwen, soon realises he needs redemption for the whole Abbadon thing...
She also notes Owen is a bastard for not sleeping with Tosh, who she knows fancies him. Funny, this didn't bother her when she and Owen were sleeping together, and she as good as flaunted him in Tosh's face...
Ianto finds some rules on the computer - it turns out Tosh is in charge.
Speaking of Ianto: "Gwen wondered...Had he been waiting for someone to suggest he take over? Gentle Ianto? She couldn't see it."
Let's reflect.... this 'gentle' Ianto, managed to manipulate the team, hide Lisa and get her help without them noticing! That shows resourcefulness, determination and commitment - leadership qualities! When Owen tried to open the rift, he stood by the rules by whatever means necessary to stop him - ruthless and authoritative. He knows a lot about torchwood, more than Gwen herself.... Yeah, Gwen, you’re right; he'd be a crap leader.... Glad you picked up on all that.
Then, we also have a line less than two pages later:
"Enough!" Ianto rarely raised his voice and the single word was enough to shut both Gwen and Owen up.
Not a leader, my arse! He could have Gwen and Owen running circles...
Anyway, Gwen and co leave, leaving Ianto behind I might add. He reflects on how he couldn't sit by Jack's bedside after Abbadon. *Sobs* Seriously, Gwen is a heartless cow!
Next, we have the team buying an alien device from a pawnshop on a rough estate. Gwen, never learning her lesson (very big ghost machine flashback here) promptly picks up the eyeglass and looks at Tosh through it (Owen later does the same, but Gwen did it first, when it was more risky!)
They got mugged for the device, Super!Gwen to the rescue.... but wait, what's that?
"Toshiko Sato was outrunning her? That wasn't possible!" seriously, Gwen? How old are you.... 5?
Tosh begins acting differently.... Gwen admits to Ianto she looked at Tosh through the Kaleidoscope, and he instantly fits it together. She takes over a page more to come to the same conclusion....
The team (minus Ianto) run off to find the device which was stolen. Caring Gwen doesn't notice (or doesn't care) that Ianto is left behind. When he asks "I'll just stay here, shall I?" she replies "Get some coffee and order a pizza!" the cheek!
I think this next bit is the best of Gwen Cooper yet!
They retcon the boy who had the device, and his father, this prompts Gwen to reflect on the use of retcon...
[People forgot things] "All because of that magic pill. She wondered if she would be one of them. The thought made her shiver." The thought of inflicting that on her boyfriend though, that's perfectly acceptable...
Final thing: "a fortnight later" Gwen, heart (and now soul) of torchwood thought about the effect on the boy they took the device from. It was too late - he, the sweet 14 year old boy, was in a drug den....
After all that, Gwen get's given the metaphorical coffee which can only be drunk by the leader... Anyone who's read this book - if you care to tell me why on earth this story shows why Gwen should be leader, I’d love to know! I for one can’t figure this out!
Over all story score - 5/10 (loved the Danny scenes, loved confident Tosh and Ianto had some good lines. I hated how the leader became Gwen!)
____________
The Wrong Hands, Andrew Cartmel
This has lots of Gwen/Jack adventures with Ianto stuck back at the hub. Joy.
The plot was a bit 'bleh' and I felt like it was moot by the end.... they spent the whole story tracking down some drug dealing scheme, when the drug dealers weren't really to blame for the alien tech used. It was only found because Gwen (who else) wanted to leave Jack to help a poor, defenceless mother who a gang were tormenting. Turns out, the baby was an alien and the mother had an alien heat-gun.
But there were some icky Gwen scenes before that discovery.
First, she was complaining about dealing with a corpse. Fair plays, personally I can't imagine seeing anything worse than a dead, mutilated body. But that's why I’m not joining the police or Torchwood any day soon... Wise career choice there, Gwen!
Ianto asks for a tissue sample on the comms. 2 minutes later Gwen turns to leave. Jack remains.
"what for?" she asks
"Tissue sample." He replied
Gwen remembered. Nice to know her memory lasts all of 5 minutes... Ianto only asked 2 pages ago!
Later, when Gwen realises something, it said "She tried to keep any hint of smugness out of her voice." Tried and failed.
Jack came up with a good nickname for her - cactus woman (she's prickly!)
Gwen and Jack go on to talk about babies. Gwen doesn't want one - Jack likes the idea of being 'uncle jack.' Gwen says "you're not my brother, maybe godfather?" I may be reading into this too much... but I like to think Jack's implying a platonic, sibling-like relationship between Gwen/Jack but Gwen is rebutting this! I hope that's what it is anyway - Gwen fails!
For the second story in a row, Gwen picks up something she doesn't understand. In this instance, it's the alien baby - it begins telepathically communicating with her. This doesn’t flag up alarm bells to Gwen; she decides to pick it up! It then brainwashes her, gives her an alien heat gun.... she takes it into a supermarket, the baby's previous mum has to blow herself up inside the supermarket to stop the alien brainwashing Gwen! Another life lost due to Ms Cooper...
I saved the best bit of this story till last thought! Here goes:
She activated the gun so that it came to life and a searing red column of light poured out from its muzzle. Then, still holding the baby in one arm, she nonchalantly aimed it at the double-decker bus.
Anyone else get Gwen-wood vibes.... shooting guns with a baby strapped to her chest... oh dear!
This baby got blown up, I dread to think of Anwen’s fate.... he has 50% cooper DNA and all...
Overall, I’m going to give this a 2/10
It had waaay too much Gwen for my liking. And as I said, the whole drugs scheme was moot and pointless and wasted over half the story... half which could (should!) have been filled with my Ianto.
____________
Virus, James Moran.
This was easily the best story. Hell, if this was a full Novel, it could be my favourite of all the Torchwood books!
I actually liked Gwen here.
(It helped that she was paralysed in a living coma for over half the book...Jack was too, leaving Ianto to save the day!) But seriously, even in her waking moments I liked her! This is how Gwen should be written... if only James Moran takes over from RTD, I have a feeling TW4 might just be saved.... A girl can dream...
This story followed right on from the previous one. The team sees the headlines in the papers and on the news all about the explosion and a baby being killed... there’s also a tongue lashing from Kathy Swanson.
Jack and Gwen drool over a fireman resulting in Ianto telling them “And you’re taken. Both of you are” *swoons* normally I’d bitch about Gwen cheating again (just because I can) but it really is just like her and jack are having a girly gossip and it’s quite cute!
Second moment of nice!gwen, Ianto brings pizza and beer, apologising that there is no dessert.
Gwen smiled at him, “It’s perfect, thank you.” Aw, her and Jack even toast to Ianto!
Well, happy times are soon over when the father of the baby alien comes back and inflicts and virus on Gwen and Jack (karma, that’s all I’ll say...)
Before the alien attacks Ianto, our beloved coffee boy shoots the invisible alien in the head (skills or what!?)
Gwen asks Ianto not to let Rhys see her like this; I would have expected her to mention Jack like in KKBB... so good for Gwen!
Ianto is awesome then. He doesn’t take crap from Jack when he requests to be left frozen if Ianto can’t save them, he just says “you’re not giving the orders now. And I’ll do what I like. With all do respect, shut up.” Go Ianto!
Ianto finds the place which gave the alien the virus - they have the antivirus too, but are asking for £500,000 for it!
Ianto returns later with some alien weaponry. He goes all kick-ass and takes out over 10 men, all armed; all in all he’s very ruthless. I can’t sum up how awesome he is - seriously, go read it! And I can’t quote all the awesome Ianto moments... this was meant to be an anti-Gwen review!
Well, he gets the antidote but there’s a catch - the antidote alone won’t wake the person up, they need to be reminded of strong, positive memories to get out of the coma. Ianto calls Rhys to help Gwen while he talks to Jack.
This next moment is what makes me like Gwen so much. I forgot to add - after giving Jack a kiss goodbye, Ianto also snogs Gwen. Any anger and outrage I initially felt at that, is eradicated by this:
Rhys wakes Gwen up fairly quickly. Meanwhile, Ianto is pouring his heart out to Jack, listing all their happy memories: “The day we got to go to the five-star hotel, to avoid meeting our past selves, and the meal we all had that evening. That time in the Hothouse, when Gwen caught us, and you kept doing impressions of her reaction. Naked hide and seek. After we stopped those alien parasites from infecting everyone, when everything turned out okay, how relieved we were - then we all got totally rat-arsed....” ok, got carried away there! Ianto lists many more moments with Gwen and Rhys watching. It doesn’t work.
“there must be something..” says Gwen. Then, Gwen says one sentence, just one magical sentence to Jack, her love, and he wakes up instantly!
Well, that’s what I expected to happen.... I really did. I was waiting for Gwen to utter a syllable which would be enough for Jack to wake up, regardless of what Ianto had been saying...But it didn’t happen!
Ianto stared into space. And then he thought of something. He smiled, and looked back at Jack. “How about that time when -“ He stopped and looked a Gwen and Rhys. He didn’t want them to hear this. He leaned in closely to Jack, and whispered the rest into his ear.
And whatever it was did the trick. Jack lurched forward....
Ianto saved Jack! I was so happy! Yay :D
Side note... It’s my b-day in a couple days, if anyone wants to write something about what Ianto said to Jack to make him wake up, that would be the best prezzie ever ;) I’m dying to know what it is! Haha, nothing I think of it good enough!
Anyway... We get a fluffy Janto scene and Gwen happily goes home with Rhys.
All in all, I loved this! Couldn’t fault it... only problem was it was so short! But short and sweet is good too.... 10/10 :)
Clearing out my wardrobe last week, I noticed the book Consequences. Then I suddenly realised that I hadn't read this one yet! And I got very, very excited...
But, I thought I’d save it till the 19th to read (being results day, it could either be a reward, or something to take my mind off it!) Then I realised it was also Ianto Jones’s birthday, so I couldn't have picked a more perfect day! Haha, I’m so cool....
The, I also realised - this was very likely to be the very last piece of canon which included Ianto Jones :')
Anyway, I've just finished it, and while I did love some AMAZING Ianto bits, most of the time I was grumbling at how much I loathed Gwen.... And even Jack at times! I'm not sure if it was just tainted by the Gwen-wood spoilers or what.... but some bits did make me 'grrr.' And - get this - some bits made me like Gwen! Seriously... I didn’t think it was possible!
So, for you all to enjoy, my review of Consequence, from a Gwen-basher's POV! (Spoilers, you have been warned!)
This book consists of 5 short stories:
____________
The Baby Farmers, David Llewellyn.
This story is set entirely in the past (I’ll assume, honestly, I skimmed the second half!)
It's at a time where Jack was a free-lance Torchwood Agent, under the supervision of Alice and Emily. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of either of them.... they kind of annoy me - smug and arrogant....Way more competent that they probably should be at the time... remind you of anyone? There were some other characters too - mostly love-interests of Jack or enemies of Jack.... I never get that attached to one-off characters in the books. None of these made any exception
Overall, 3/10. I didn't enjoy the story, points added mainly for no Gwen!
____________
Kaleidoscope, Sarah Pinborough
Ok, so now were at a point where Jack has left torchwood for the Doctor, and the team are deciding a new leader. Gwen Bash Galore!
Tosh really doesn't want the job, apparently, Gwen doesn't either because she's the 'new girl' (when it suits her, anyway)
Owen quite fancies himself as the new captain, but no-one wants him to take the position! To anyone else, it would appear he's in it for the glory, whatever, but Gwen, bleeding heart Gwen, soon realises he needs redemption for the whole Abbadon thing...
She also notes Owen is a bastard for not sleeping with Tosh, who she knows fancies him. Funny, this didn't bother her when she and Owen were sleeping together, and she as good as flaunted him in Tosh's face...
Ianto finds some rules on the computer - it turns out Tosh is in charge.
Speaking of Ianto: "Gwen wondered...Had he been waiting for someone to suggest he take over? Gentle Ianto? She couldn't see it."
Let's reflect.... this 'gentle' Ianto, managed to manipulate the team, hide Lisa and get her help without them noticing! That shows resourcefulness, determination and commitment - leadership qualities! When Owen tried to open the rift, he stood by the rules by whatever means necessary to stop him - ruthless and authoritative. He knows a lot about torchwood, more than Gwen herself.... Yeah, Gwen, you’re right; he'd be a crap leader.... Glad you picked up on all that.
Then, we also have a line less than two pages later:
"Enough!" Ianto rarely raised his voice and the single word was enough to shut both Gwen and Owen up.
Not a leader, my arse! He could have Gwen and Owen running circles...
Anyway, Gwen and co leave, leaving Ianto behind I might add. He reflects on how he couldn't sit by Jack's bedside after Abbadon. *Sobs* Seriously, Gwen is a heartless cow!
Next, we have the team buying an alien device from a pawnshop on a rough estate. Gwen, never learning her lesson (very big ghost machine flashback here) promptly picks up the eyeglass and looks at Tosh through it (Owen later does the same, but Gwen did it first, when it was more risky!)
They got mugged for the device, Super!Gwen to the rescue.... but wait, what's that?
"Toshiko Sato was outrunning her? That wasn't possible!" seriously, Gwen? How old are you.... 5?
Tosh begins acting differently.... Gwen admits to Ianto she looked at Tosh through the Kaleidoscope, and he instantly fits it together. She takes over a page more to come to the same conclusion....
The team (minus Ianto) run off to find the device which was stolen. Caring Gwen doesn't notice (or doesn't care) that Ianto is left behind. When he asks "I'll just stay here, shall I?" she replies "Get some coffee and order a pizza!" the cheek!
I think this next bit is the best of Gwen Cooper yet!
They retcon the boy who had the device, and his father, this prompts Gwen to reflect on the use of retcon...
[People forgot things] "All because of that magic pill. She wondered if she would be one of them. The thought made her shiver." The thought of inflicting that on her boyfriend though, that's perfectly acceptable...
Final thing: "a fortnight later" Gwen, heart (and now soul) of torchwood thought about the effect on the boy they took the device from. It was too late - he, the sweet 14 year old boy, was in a drug den....
After all that, Gwen get's given the metaphorical coffee which can only be drunk by the leader... Anyone who's read this book - if you care to tell me why on earth this story shows why Gwen should be leader, I’d love to know! I for one can’t figure this out!
Over all story score - 5/10 (loved the Danny scenes, loved confident Tosh and Ianto had some good lines. I hated how the leader became Gwen!)
____________
The Wrong Hands, Andrew Cartmel
This has lots of Gwen/Jack adventures with Ianto stuck back at the hub. Joy.
The plot was a bit 'bleh' and I felt like it was moot by the end.... they spent the whole story tracking down some drug dealing scheme, when the drug dealers weren't really to blame for the alien tech used. It was only found because Gwen (who else) wanted to leave Jack to help a poor, defenceless mother who a gang were tormenting. Turns out, the baby was an alien and the mother had an alien heat-gun.
But there were some icky Gwen scenes before that discovery.
First, she was complaining about dealing with a corpse. Fair plays, personally I can't imagine seeing anything worse than a dead, mutilated body. But that's why I’m not joining the police or Torchwood any day soon... Wise career choice there, Gwen!
Ianto asks for a tissue sample on the comms. 2 minutes later Gwen turns to leave. Jack remains.
"what for?" she asks
"Tissue sample." He replied
Gwen remembered. Nice to know her memory lasts all of 5 minutes... Ianto only asked 2 pages ago!
Later, when Gwen realises something, it said "She tried to keep any hint of smugness out of her voice." Tried and failed.
Jack came up with a good nickname for her - cactus woman (she's prickly!)
Gwen and Jack go on to talk about babies. Gwen doesn't want one - Jack likes the idea of being 'uncle jack.' Gwen says "you're not my brother, maybe godfather?" I may be reading into this too much... but I like to think Jack's implying a platonic, sibling-like relationship between Gwen/Jack but Gwen is rebutting this! I hope that's what it is anyway - Gwen fails!
For the second story in a row, Gwen picks up something she doesn't understand. In this instance, it's the alien baby - it begins telepathically communicating with her. This doesn’t flag up alarm bells to Gwen; she decides to pick it up! It then brainwashes her, gives her an alien heat gun.... she takes it into a supermarket, the baby's previous mum has to blow herself up inside the supermarket to stop the alien brainwashing Gwen! Another life lost due to Ms Cooper...
I saved the best bit of this story till last thought! Here goes:
She activated the gun so that it came to life and a searing red column of light poured out from its muzzle. Then, still holding the baby in one arm, she nonchalantly aimed it at the double-decker bus.
Anyone else get Gwen-wood vibes.... shooting guns with a baby strapped to her chest... oh dear!
This baby got blown up, I dread to think of Anwen’s fate.... he has 50% cooper DNA and all...
Overall, I’m going to give this a 2/10
It had waaay too much Gwen for my liking. And as I said, the whole drugs scheme was moot and pointless and wasted over half the story... half which could (should!) have been filled with my Ianto.
____________
Virus, James Moran.
This was easily the best story. Hell, if this was a full Novel, it could be my favourite of all the Torchwood books!
I actually liked Gwen here.
(It helped that she was paralysed in a living coma for over half the book...Jack was too, leaving Ianto to save the day!) But seriously, even in her waking moments I liked her! This is how Gwen should be written... if only James Moran takes over from RTD, I have a feeling TW4 might just be saved.... A girl can dream...
This story followed right on from the previous one. The team sees the headlines in the papers and on the news all about the explosion and a baby being killed... there’s also a tongue lashing from Kathy Swanson.
Jack and Gwen drool over a fireman resulting in Ianto telling them “And you’re taken. Both of you are” *swoons* normally I’d bitch about Gwen cheating again (just because I can) but it really is just like her and jack are having a girly gossip and it’s quite cute!
Second moment of nice!gwen, Ianto brings pizza and beer, apologising that there is no dessert.
Gwen smiled at him, “It’s perfect, thank you.” Aw, her and Jack even toast to Ianto!
Well, happy times are soon over when the father of the baby alien comes back and inflicts and virus on Gwen and Jack (karma, that’s all I’ll say...)
Before the alien attacks Ianto, our beloved coffee boy shoots the invisible alien in the head (skills or what!?)
Gwen asks Ianto not to let Rhys see her like this; I would have expected her to mention Jack like in KKBB... so good for Gwen!
Ianto is awesome then. He doesn’t take crap from Jack when he requests to be left frozen if Ianto can’t save them, he just says “you’re not giving the orders now. And I’ll do what I like. With all do respect, shut up.” Go Ianto!
Ianto finds the place which gave the alien the virus - they have the antivirus too, but are asking for £500,000 for it!
Ianto returns later with some alien weaponry. He goes all kick-ass and takes out over 10 men, all armed; all in all he’s very ruthless. I can’t sum up how awesome he is - seriously, go read it! And I can’t quote all the awesome Ianto moments... this was meant to be an anti-Gwen review!
Well, he gets the antidote but there’s a catch - the antidote alone won’t wake the person up, they need to be reminded of strong, positive memories to get out of the coma. Ianto calls Rhys to help Gwen while he talks to Jack.
This next moment is what makes me like Gwen so much. I forgot to add - after giving Jack a kiss goodbye, Ianto also snogs Gwen. Any anger and outrage I initially felt at that, is eradicated by this:
Rhys wakes Gwen up fairly quickly. Meanwhile, Ianto is pouring his heart out to Jack, listing all their happy memories: “The day we got to go to the five-star hotel, to avoid meeting our past selves, and the meal we all had that evening. That time in the Hothouse, when Gwen caught us, and you kept doing impressions of her reaction. Naked hide and seek. After we stopped those alien parasites from infecting everyone, when everything turned out okay, how relieved we were - then we all got totally rat-arsed....” ok, got carried away there! Ianto lists many more moments with Gwen and Rhys watching. It doesn’t work.
“there must be something..” says Gwen. Then, Gwen says one sentence, just one magical sentence to Jack, her love, and he wakes up instantly!
Well, that’s what I expected to happen.... I really did. I was waiting for Gwen to utter a syllable which would be enough for Jack to wake up, regardless of what Ianto had been saying...But it didn’t happen!
Ianto stared into space. And then he thought of something. He smiled, and looked back at Jack. “How about that time when -“ He stopped and looked a Gwen and Rhys. He didn’t want them to hear this. He leaned in closely to Jack, and whispered the rest into his ear.
And whatever it was did the trick. Jack lurched forward....
Ianto saved Jack! I was so happy! Yay :D
Side note... It’s my b-day in a couple days, if anyone wants to write something about what Ianto said to Jack to make him wake up, that would be the best prezzie ever ;) I’m dying to know what it is! Haha, nothing I think of it good enough!
Anyway... We get a fluffy Janto scene and Gwen happily goes home with Rhys.
All in all, I loved this! Couldn’t fault it... only problem was it was so short! But short and sweet is good too.... 10/10 :)