go get your gun cuz god won't show

[fkn_queer]

I keep having old feelings come up every time i talk to my best friend....umm..we'll just call him J. I keep myself at a great distance now but for a little while i couldn't figure out why i kept doing that until last night. idk we start talking and just the chemistry between us that lead the way to one of the best friendships i've ever had comes up and I hadn't felt that way in a long time. I just don't wanna fall for him all over again. my birthday is coming up and he said he'd be there if he could make it...that bothered me because yeah i can understand if he seriously can't make it but at the same time i might take it personally. idk it's a shitty situation. we'll just see where things go

so i bombed my math exam but i don't care. this one guy that was in one of my other classes and is now in my math class sat next to me in math and I could hardly say a word everytime he asked me a question. i always have a hard time talking to really cute guys but i'm sure that's normal. I had my anthro lab practicum today and it went much better than I thought. The more I'm around that gay guy in my lab class, the more i find him dissinteresting. his mannerisms get on my nerves so I don't think I'll purposely branch out to him.

last night i went to dinner with some friends from my old band and i was sooooo close to letting them in on the secret as to why our band came to its mysterious demise so quickly but only ended up telling hal of the story. only the half that didn't contain the part of me sleeping with the lead singer =X either way, they kind of understood but i could tell britt knew that there was more to it. Her and I were supposed to have a few drinks tonight and de-virginize my new blender but it'll have to wait until tomorrow.

i've realized that i've gone too long and am gettn a little ansy. i need to get laid.....soon