avoidance
tomorrow is the big day. our first show with this line up and my first show with a band in over a year. pam's gonna go and she said that even jeff is planning on going. apparently she had dinner with him and his girlfriend tonight. funny how the queer best friend is never invited. so i was used...can't i get over it?...who treats people like that and then still expects them to be friends?? Pam has been kind of a bitch about it and i suspect that has to do with the fact that her and jeff are long time friends. perhaps if she had been in my shoes for the past 10 months she would know what it's like. yet somehow tomorrow, i'm gonna have to put on some form of a smile when and if....IF....he shows up and of course with his lovely girlfriend at his side whom i have still yet to meet. will i be sober tomorrow? i'm not expecting too.