"The Affirmation of Self" by Skieswideopen (PG-13, Gen)

[skieswideopen]

Title: The Affirmation of Self
Author: skieswideopen
Beta-Reader: brightknightie
Recipient: malinaldarose
Prompt: Nick & Janette, "Things were slower back then.... People were more content to be who they were. No one wants to be himself, these days. Always trying on different skins, then wondering why they don't fit. It makes for a lot of unhappiness." (Nancy Atherton)
Length: ~1780

Comments

"There was still time, if she wanted it."

[brightknightie]

From our beta conversation, you know most of what I might say about "The Affirmation of Self," but I would very much like to say again that I love how you connected the prompt with this canonical moment in the summer between seasons two and three, as Janette disappears from Toronto without a word to Nick (or us ~grin~). Some hints at the end are influenced by the knowledge of later canon, yes, but largely "The Affirmation of Self" could have been written any time between the upsetting third-season casting news and the airing of "The Human Factor." I find a precious energy in that

Re: "There was still time, if she wanted it."

[skieswideopen]

Thank you!

I do wish they'd given Janette a better departure from the show, but I suppose exploring those gaps is where fan fiction comes in. I rarely feel the need to write for shows that leave no such gaps, so there's that.

Thank you again for your beta work! It helped improve the story immeasurably.

Re: "There was still time, if she wanted it."

[brightknightie]

>"I rarely feel the need to write for shows that leave no such gaps, so there's that."

FK needs fanfiction -- needs us -- like no other show, I sometimes think. :-)

Thank you again for writing!

[waltd]

Lovely. I think this story almost defines "bittersweet". The changes that go on, the changes people go through. Even how things change changes. Still, isn't it weeks, perhaps a few months before he even realizes she's gone? Which makes the whole thing even more poignant.

[skieswideopen]

Thank you!

Yes, I think it does take him a while to realize she's gone. Which makes the IB fan in me a little sad, but certainly fits with where he was at the time (and might explain in part why she decided against saying goodbye).

[waltd]

>>and might explain in part why she decided against saying goodbye<<

Oh, yes; oh, yes.

[brightknightie]

>"Still, isn't it weeks, perhaps a few months before he even realizes she's gone?"

Yes. In both "Killer Instinct" (second-season premiere) and "Black Buddha, Part 1" (third-season premiere), we learn that Nick has not been to the Raven for months. It's noteworthy, I think, that both of these episodes happen/aired in the fall, making it Toronto's summer in which Nick did not drop by the Raven. It occurred to me to imagine -- in addition to his other valid canonical distractions -- that the long summer days may limit Nick's options somewhat, such that he has to rush to do his job and his ordinary errands during the safe night hours, and doesn't have much time in the dark to spare in that season.

[amilyn]

Gods

[skieswideopen]

Thank you so much!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed this!

I like the idea that even vampires change over the years; I think that's one of the messages of the show, that all of them--not just Nick--change with the years.

I'm kind of fascinated now about when in the modern age Janette decided to start working, and what jobs she chose, early on. I really can't see her working for someone else...

[pj1228]

This was sweet and sentimental. I love the respective reflections of Nick and Janette during the different moments in time. This story really conveys the feeling of what it is like to live that long and how perceptions and attitudes change during that time.
And I liked Janette's nod of gratefulness towards Lacroix. I believe her comment "Miklos and Lacroix would take care of anything of value that she'd left behind" includes Nick.
This was very well written. Thank you!

[skieswideopen]

Thank you! I'm so glad the story worked for you.

Janette did have a very different relationship with Lacroix, and I think part of that was what he took her away from, versus what Nick lost in being brought across. I love your interpretation of that line, that Nick would be included among the things she left behind. I hadn't thought of that when writing, but it fits perfectly. Thank, you. :)

[malinaldarose]

This is wonderful -- thank you! I just love Janette here, so wise, so sad at the end. And I love Nick's 1855 excitement, too.

[skieswideopen]

Thank you! I'm glad you like it!