Comments | fkficfest: Uneasy Allies in Untruth (PG, Gen, 9400 words), by <strong class="lj-user"><a href="/read/user/amilyn">amilyn</a></strong> for <strong class="lj-user"><a href="/read/user/Twilight2000">Twilight2000</a></strong>

amilyn in fkficfest

Uneasy Allies in Untruth (PG, Gen, 9400 words), by amilyn for Twilight2000

May 23, 2010 19:07

Title: Uneasy Allies in Untruth
Author: Amilyn
Recipient: Twilight2000
Beta-Readers: wiliqueen and brightknightie
Prompt: Home run for the good guys, plot focused preferred (hey, what can I say? I love that kind of story!)
Characters: Nick, Natalie, Janette, Schanke, LaCroix
Length: 9400 words
Rating: PG
Summary: A year and a half ago, an unidentified vigilante went on a spree ( Read more... )

genre: mystery, rating: teens and adults, character: schanke, character: nick, genre: drama, genre: policework, character: janette, author: amilyn, character: natalie, character: lacroix, game: 2010, type: gen

Comments 22

wiliqueen May 28 2010, 15:02:47 UTC

Even better the second time around! You got pretty much all my comments in the beta stage.

Great case, great character stuff. But my favorite bit is still Nat and Janette rolling their eyes at the perpetual tug-of-war.

havocthecat May 28 2010, 16:13:21 UTC

But my favorite bit is still Nat and Janette rolling their eyes at the perpetual tug-of-war.

I was going to say exactly that. :)

amilyn May 29 2010, 00:59:40 UTC

*bounce* YAY!

amilyn May 29 2010, 00:53:19 UTC

So glad you liked it even better! Thanks!

havocthecat May 28 2010, 16:16:14 UTC

The problem is that I'm not sure where to start on the feedback? Because you've gotten everything I love into one story: Natalie facing down Lacroix, Janette and Natalie not quite bonding, Nick and Natalie in all their complexity, Schanke doing police work and making connections, excess amounts of guilt from Natalie (well, it's deeply in character, anyway), and a cop plot threaded throughout the whole vampire plot.

Plus, as I agreed with Val, my favorite bit was Janette and Natalie having a collective moment of exasperation with the boys.

I love this story.

amilyn May 29 2010, 00:56:11 UTC

*bounce*

I'm so thrilled you loved it! I didn't realize that I'd manage hit the perfect storm of all the attributes of your favorite stories and of FK in this story, but I'm THRILLED!

I love Natalie and Janette bonding over the boys being idiotic squabblers, too.

Thank you!!!

greerwatson May 28 2010, 17:36:17 UTC

A thoroughly good read. I liked the way you linked the series of murders to Richard-actions do have consequences. But my absolute favourite scene has to be in the morgue when Natalie persuades two deadly vampires to bite styrofoam for her. Especially LaCroix. It's so...undignified! (Just try visualizing it for a moment.) Humour amidst the corpses. Yes, indeed!

amilyn May 29 2010, 00:58:54 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the rendering of the two of them into a state of indignity. I enjoyed that too. Thanks for telling me what you liked! I appreciate the note that you enjoyed it!

skieswideopen May 29 2010, 04:08:39 UTC

This is wonderful!

I love your Natalie--teasing Nick about his reaction to Janette, facing down Lacroix and winning, realizing what her desire to keep Richard around did, and facing up to that. Really, really nicely done.

amilyn May 29 2010, 04:34:30 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you liked these parts!

(The comment has been removed)

amilyn May 29 2010, 19:06:21 UTC

Thank you! I'm so glad that the needlessness of the deaths, the sadness, the twistedness of it all. Thank you for commenting on the mix of drama and humor and for liking it and saying that it felt like the show to you. I really appreciate your comments and am entirely thrilled that you loved it!