Attachments (PG, pairing) by Greer Watson (2/9)
Because of LJ post size limits, this story comes in multiple posts. Please see the first post for the header information.
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48. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. DEC 15
I keep thinking that I should have invited him in. Only it was really late-and you know how guys get ideas from that. I am his doctor after all.
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49. Text of Christmas card found in the bedside table drawer in Dr. Natalie Lambert's bedroom in Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996.
May the season bring you
Joy and happiness.Natalie- I hope I got it right this time. Merry Christmas to my favourite doctor - Nick
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50. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. DEC 24
CHRISTMAS EVE
I told Richie there was a case. Actually, it's true. A homeless guy-probably hypothermia, or maybe an overdose. I will have to do the autopsy some time over the holiday. I'll go in tomorrow and make it true.Nick refused to go to the carol service at the cathedral this evening. The singing was lovely. It's ridiculous when you think that he's got that piano-and I've heard him play it, he's good. He obviously loves music.The truth is he's still got a lot of hang-ups associated with his condition. At some point, we'll have to work on that.
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51. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996.JAN 6
EPIPHANY
This is the second time that Nick has managed to bite, chew, swallow, and keep down a very small quantity of double-ground extra-lean hamburg meat. I just wish he could do the same with the protein drinks I keep trying on him.
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52. Printout of WordPerfect 5.1 Document KNIGHT.012 in subdirectory NICKNGHT on the personal laptop computer owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert.
Mar 5, 1992
Nick,
You won't be up, and I want you to see this, so I'm dropping it off on my way home--just in case you get sidetracked by something else when you get in to work tonight. Look at the attached autopsy report! We've got another of them. Blood drained, just like the last one.
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53. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAR 17
ST. PATRICK'S DAY
I think I'm going to try adding garlic pills to Nick's regimen, and see what effect they have. If there's a disease origin to his condition-and some infection does seem to be involved-then there may actually be a medical basis for folk tradition. After all, garlic does have antibiotic properties.Perhaps it kills the pathogen? That would explain why, once the conversion is complete, it would instil an aversion in the host (on an instinctual level) to prevent a reversal to normality.
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54. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996.APR 1
APRIL FOOL’S DAY
I heard the news about Cal today, almost by accident. They brought in a body from Mercy-a surgical case with post-operative complications, they wondered if there was some underlying cause. The attendants warned me there was a chance he’d been infected with AIDS. Not the CoD, of course, but I should double glove.Then they told me who the surgeon was.Oh, Cal. As if it weren’t hard enough to be diagnosed, to get fired as well. (Of course, you’re a surgeon (of all the specialities!), there’s no way they’d let you keep your job. I guess, as medical problems go, Nick almost has it lucky.
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55. Text of birthday card found in the bedside table drawer in Dr. Natalie Lambert's bedroom in Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996.
To celebrate
your special day!
Happy birthday, Natalie
- your friend, Nick
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56. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. APR 14
Oh, Good Lord, I've never been so popular! Richie and Sara planned a birthday celebration for me, and then Nick turned up with a last minute surprise dinner reservation. (Where'd he find out my birthday? Oh, silly question-given he's a cop.I had to take a rain check. Can't disappoint my favourite niece.
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57. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. APR 18
Belated birthday celebrations are every bit as good. I'm just wondering what Nick paid for it all. I mean, the menu I was given didn't have prices on it, and I know what that means.
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58. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. APR 25
Nick's started another painting. Just a sketch so far, but the subject certainly looks like another stylized sun.
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59. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996.APR 30
Nick's really doing quite well with his “steak tartare”. He got through almost half the patty yesterday! I'm going to suggest he try cooking it. Okay, extra rare! (Start small.) But at least show it to the frying pan.)Our ultimate goal has to be to get him onto normal food. This liquid diet of his must be part of the problem, I'm sure of it.
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60. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 3
Nick seems very attracted to Dr. Hunter. I hate to admit that I'm jealous. I shouldn't be, he's a patient, but.....
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61. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 4
I caught Nick drinking. I suspected it, of course-especially after he spat out my latest attempt when I tried it on him.I went up today using the code he gave me and found him looking like an unshaven drunk hugging a bottle-oh, it was one of the unlabelled ones. At least, I think it was. He was in a horrible mood, and tossed it against the wall. A very nasty moment. I've got to admit for a moment I actually got a little scared. Not that there's any reason for me to be scared, of course.He apologized, at least.On the other hand, it got him finally to open up about his past. I think it's fair to say that he has family issues. It may not be quite the same sort of family as mine, but these people he talks about-Janet and Lacroix-they're obviously his own version of family. And boy!!!! does he have family issues!!!!
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62. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 5
There's obviously so much that's gone on the past couple of days that Nick hasn't told me about. I don't know that he ever will. I infer that his past is involved-largely because he's gone silent again. And that fire at his place, something happened. I don't know what, except that it was serious enough (and personal enough) to make him freeze me out. He's damned lucky the place didn't burn down. He's got Schanke to thank, really.He could have died. He could have died, which is ironic, if you think about it, given who and what he is. He could have come all this way, and tried so hard, and then just died. What a waste that would have been.He had to have a blood transfusion. Schanke offered immediately, bless him. (Oh, the look on Nick's face when I told him!) I wasn't sure it would work, with blood types and so on. Then I thought of Nick's usual diet. Which we must work harder on. I clearly need to modify the latest formula. Judging by Nick's reaction a couple of days ago, it needs some adjustment to the flavour.
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63. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 6
Hah! Nick just told me. Stonetree's made the assignment permanent. And just how will he and Schanke get on, I ask? Of course, they're not on the same shift (which makes it one weird notion of “partners”, if I know my cops-but that's Stonetree's call, and I don't doubt he has his reasons. He seems to be giving them the oddball ones. Nick says they've IDd the head, though, which at least gets them that much further forward.
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64. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 8
Nick's been very moody. At first, he wouldn't talk about it, not that that's new. Finally, he admitted he'd been thinking about that “LaCroix” he told me about, but he wouldn't say more. Just “not to worry”-which is very reassuring, of course (said she). At least it's not the blood at the crime scene, which had me worried at first. I mean, you can't disembowel someone without making a mess.
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65. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 10
I do not get this business with the cross. Nick really shied away when I showed it to him. Obviously, it's psychosomatic. There are times, and I do mean times, when I think a psychotherapist would do him more good than I can.
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66. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 12
Now isn't that interesting. I actually saw Nick touch a cross and (surprise, surprise!) nothing happened. Apparently, he spent the day in a church, too.
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67. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 22
Schanke’s worried about Nick's behaviour. And if Schanke's worried, then maybe I should be. I haven't met her, but-a stripper!!!!This is not me being jealous, this is me being a friend. I mean, when it was that curator I told him it was a great idea, didn't I? I didn't act jealous, I behaved like a friend. So this is me being a friend and wanting to give him good advice.God, what's he thinking of? He's a cop. She's a suspect. And a stripper!!!!My bad. I guess I know what he's thinking of. Or what he's thinking with, anyway.Men.
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68. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 26
I don't know if this is an apology. I guess it is. And a red rose too. Only I don't know if the symbolism would be the same back then.Not that I have any right to an apology. I'm not sure why he thinks he needs to-Well, I guess it's that chivalry thing again. Which is nice. Misplaced, but nice. (Perfume, God help us. He is not treating me like his doctor, it's no wonder he doesn't take the treatments I prescribe as seriously as he should. We are I am going to have to work on this.He's really a nice guy. I should have known it had to be a ruse of some sort.
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69. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. JUN 1
Barbara Norton just made it official-she's running for mayor. Nick says he doesn't think she'll get in, there still aren't a lot of women mayors.We had quite a fight about it. In the end, he said he hoped I'd be right, but he still doesn't think the world has changed that much. I can agree on that, I guess. Up to a point, anyway.
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70. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. JUN 7
A psychic! Man, I thought I knew Stonetree! Then, when she tried to “get a reading” from the corpse, she tripped out like a real stoner (oh, god is that a pun?) Nick was very concerned-well, she's a good-looking woman, and I saw this with Dr. Hunter before, didn't I? A trend? Damsel in distress? (That would fit, I think.)I suppose I should support Nick if he wants to date Denise. It would certainly be a very normal, human thing for him to do, and that's got to be good for him.
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71. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. JUN 9
Okay, there's no getting around it. From the face Schanke made when he took a swig of Nick's protein drink, the flavour must still be worse than I thought. No wonder Nick keeps backsliding to the bottle. He really can't keep it down.So much for Nana's insistence that I always clear my plate, no matter how I thought it tasted.Of course, Schanke took it for a milkshake. Maybe if I sweetened it?
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72. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. JUL 1
CANADA DAY
I had thought I'd ask Nick to go to the fireworks, but the Luces were pretty insistent, pointing out that I am their daughter’s godmother and-given the hours I work-I don’t get much chance to get to know her. Cynthia’s a sweet kid. Mind you, she seemed a bit tired towards the end-with that strained over-excitement that children get, that fades in the car on the way home, and ends with someone losing their temper. She's still a bit young to stay up that late.
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73. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. JUL 18
Nick's going to have to testify, there's no getting around it. Now we have to figure out how. (What he's going to say in evidence The arrest made everyone's week-I've heard far too much about that office party.
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74. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 4
I wish Nick wouldn't do that sort of thing. Oh, I know it was intended as a joke, but it really scared startled me. I threw a bowl of popcorn at him! He just laughed, and then I got mad, and he just laughed more. After that, we had to pick up all the damned popcorn (what a waste). I'd have vacuumed it, but he doesn't seem to have a vacuum cleaner. Or a broom even. I suppose he must use a cleaning firm. Men!
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75. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 11
I've finally met the famous Janette! Except the whole thing was seriously weird. I could swear they were kissing (or just about to kiss) when I walked in.Of course, she's more like an adopted sister. It isn't quite the same thing as a real sister. It wouldn't be incest exactly. I guess.I don't think I much care for this. Does she want to drag Nick back into her world? He's come so far.She looked at me in the weirdest way.
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76. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 12
I just looked at what I wrote yesterday. Yes, she did look at me in a weird way, sort of condescending with a hint of pity in it.Of course, she's very beautiful, with an exotic, sexual glamour that's just designed to attract men. After a night cutting up dead bodies, I probably looked a complete frump.
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77. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 18
The municipal election campaign is starting to warm up. I'm still hoping Norton gets in-she's so obviously better than Hiatt. Nick says he's seen too much politics down the years, and it'll all come out the same in the end (which is not true, and I pointed out Hitler, so of course he said neither Norton or Hiatt is Hitler, which I can't deny.
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78. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 19
Richie came by the morgue, which is unusual. He thinks Saul Craven ordered the hit. In which case, it's going to be a cold case, sure as shooting. (Oh lord, was that a pun?) It's not one of Nick's cases.
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79. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 22
The view from the Empire State Building is all it's cracked up to be. New York, New York! Tomorrow-shopping!!! Also, I'll pick up gifts all round (can't go to NY and not bring back souvenirs, esp. for Amy and Cynthia! What to get Nick? The man who's seen all, done all. Maybe the worst tourist trash I can find, and then we'll have a good laugh.
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80. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 7
LABOUR DAY
I wouldn't have thought Labour Day the best time to take a kid to the Ex, what with all the crowds but Sara said they'd gone last weekend too and Amy was dying to go on the Big Wheel again. She certainly went up three times, squealing all the way up and all the way round. Sara went with her the last time. I went for candy floss. Richie's all cocky about some witness he thinks he can talk into testifying. All I can say is, where Saul Craven is concerned, don't count your chickens. But my little brother is such an optimist. We headed home long before things got riotous-believe it or not, I have to go in to work tonight. So much for holidays.I still love those little doughnuts. I must get Nick onto solid food, he misses so much.
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81. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 12
I just got home from the hospital. They got hold of Sara, but I'm going to have to call Nana. She's going to blame me, I know she is.Oh, Richie, why did you have to walk into the station at just that moment? If only your car hadn't broken down. Maybe you'd still have got caught up in it all, but you'd at least have known what was going on, not just walk in unexpected into an emergency.Would it have made any difference if I'd kept you talking?Were you trying to play hero? Nick hasn't given me details yet.
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82. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 13
Damn Nick. Damn him, damn him, damn him. You hang on so bravely, and he won't do it. He could save you, I know he could.
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83. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 15
Must be the quickest funeral on record. Strings got pulled by someone (I know who). At least Richie's friends and colleagues, being here in Toronto, were all able to attend.I had to drive over to Guelph to pick up Nana. Tomorrow, I'll have to drive her back. (I can hardly ask Sara to do it, she's got Amy to deal with, and Nana is really not up to taking the GO Train.)God, being trapped for a couple of hours in a car with Nana again. She goes on and on and on. But thank God for Nick.
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84. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 17
Okay, I admit it-here in my diary, I admit it. (I haven't yet got around to the point where I can apologize, which is what I guess he deserves.)Yes, Nick was right. Or sort of right, anyway. I wasn't listening to him about the problems, just looking on the bright side. (Which is ironic, I guess, “bright side” being sunny side, and sun-all that stuff.So maybe it wouldn't have worked out anyway. Or maybe Richie just needed a little hands-on attention so soon after, and not having Nick go off to the station to work at such a critical time.I'm not letting Nick all the way off the hook.
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85. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 20
I never realized Nick had a kid sister who died. (The things I don't know about him would fill the Encyclopedia Brittanica.) He really understands how I feel. I just poured it all out to him, and sobbed on his shoulder, and he totally got it.
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86. Printout of WordPerfect 5.1 Document RICHIE.54 in subdirectory RLAMBERT on the personal laptop computer owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert.
Sept 21st
Dear Amy,
I'm going to write you this letter instead of just phoning you or having a chat next time I come round, because I think it may be the sort of thing you might get more out of if you keep it and re-read it now and then when you feel the need.Of course, your mother knows how much you miss your Dad. What you have to try to understand is that she misses him, too. She misses him dreadfully. At times, she misses him so much that she can't think of anything else--even you, hard though that must be for you. I bet, every night after you've gone to bed (and you're sound asleep then, so you wouldn't know) she just breaks down and cries.You say she doesn't cry? Well, not in front of you--but that's because she's trying so hard to be brave for you, so she can be a strong rock that you can lean on. And, yes, I know that when you try to lean on that rock it doesn't seem so strong (or maybe doesn't even seem to be there at all). But that's the point I'm trying to make. She's so broken up inside that, even when she thinks she's being a rock for you, she's more like smashed up into little pebbles. And, of course, you can't go leaning on little pebbles, can you?So she's trying. She's trying really hard. It's just that it's so difficult for her, just as it is for you. Both of you miss your Dad.I miss him, too. He's my little brother, and I feel I ought to have been looking out for him. (Doesn't that sound silly? Your Dad was so good at taking care of you, how could he need someone looking out for him? It's just that I remember when we were kids together.)When you want to talk about your Dad, and your Mom just can't bear to--why don't you give me a call? I have a shoulder you can cry on, and a good pair of ears for listening. And I loved your Dad, too.
All my love,
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87. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 25
I'm going to take my mind off all this and do something. Now all I have to do is figure out what. (Maybe I should ask Nick.)
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88. Printout of WordPerfect 5.1 Document RICHIE.55 in subdirectory RLAMBERT on the personal laptop computer owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert.
October 5th,
Dear Sara,
Of course, I understand how you feel. The house must be full of memories and hopes. Not to mention the fact that you need a job now, especially since all your savings went to the deposit and the mortgage payments must be a real worry.How the insurance company can refuse payment, I don't know. There is no way Richie can be held partly liable for his death! It's ridiculous! If I were you, I'd sue--except that you don't have the money.Putting the house on the market and going home to your family makes total sense. It'll give you a breathing space. Time to look around for a job, get retraining maybe.Obviously, I'm sorry you'll be moving so far away. On the other hand, the phone's still there. Of course, we'll keep in touch! I can't just let my only niece disappear from my life. I'll call, I'll write, I'll visit. Just be sure to give me your new address.
Love,
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89. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. OCT 5
Damn her! She sends me a letter to tell me they're going to move to Vancouver! It's pretty obvious that she figured I'd try to talk her out of it.I told Nick when I saw him, and he tried to be all understanding about it and get me to see her point of view. Oh, I get her point of view, all right! But does anyone get mine? She and Amy are my last tie with Richie.Okay, not counting Nana Tash. (But I'm not counting her.) The last straw was inviting me for Thanksgiving dinner. "Richie would have wanted it." "One last family get-together." And would I please drive out to Guelph to pick up Nana.
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90. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. OCT 22
I can't believe Schanke is working to get that corrupt bastard Hiatt elected! Barbara Norton is so obviously the better candidate. Nick says to stay out of it, but-You know, cops aren't supposed to get involved in electioneering. If Stonetree finds out, Schanke's for the high jump.
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91. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. OCT 23
Sara called. She's got a buyer. The closing date is December 4th.Well, that's okay. I don't want them here for Christmas.
Oh damn, that's not fair. I'd love a big family Christmas, just the way we always had. But with Richie-which is impossible.I guess the only way I'm going to get that big Christmas from now on is to have a family myself. That imp Lisa-she made me realize how much fun it would be to have kids. One of each? A couple of dozen? (Okay, not that many.)All I need now is the man! (Hah.)Nick was good with Lisa. He'd make a wonderful father-though that does depend on improvements in his condition, I guess. He says, in his current state, it's not a possibility. That suggests that, if things are reversed, it will be possible.You know, I never thought of it that way, but-if I do find a cure for him-then I won't be his doctor any more. Which would change so much, wouldn't it?
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Continue to Part Three
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48. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. DEC 15
I keep thinking that I should have invited him in. Only it was really late-and you know how guys get ideas from that. I am his doctor after all.
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49. Text of Christmas card found in the bedside table drawer in Dr. Natalie Lambert's bedroom in Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996.
May the season bring you
Joy and happiness.Natalie- I hope I got it right this time. Merry Christmas to my favourite doctor - Nick
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50. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. DEC 24
CHRISTMAS EVE
I told Richie there was a case. Actually, it's true. A homeless guy-probably hypothermia, or maybe an overdose. I will have to do the autopsy some time over the holiday. I'll go in tomorrow and make it true.Nick refused to go to the carol service at the cathedral this evening. The singing was lovely. It's ridiculous when you think that he's got that piano-and I've heard him play it, he's good. He obviously loves music.The truth is he's still got a lot of hang-ups associated with his condition. At some point, we'll have to work on that.
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51. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996.JAN 6
EPIPHANY
This is the second time that Nick has managed to bite, chew, swallow, and keep down a very small quantity of double-ground extra-lean hamburg meat. I just wish he could do the same with the protein drinks I keep trying on him.
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52. Printout of WordPerfect 5.1 Document KNIGHT.012 in subdirectory NICKNGHT on the personal laptop computer owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert.
Mar 5, 1992
Nick,
You won't be up, and I want you to see this, so I'm dropping it off on my way home--just in case you get sidetracked by something else when you get in to work tonight. Look at the attached autopsy report! We've got another of them. Blood drained, just like the last one.
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53. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAR 17
ST. PATRICK'S DAY
I think I'm going to try adding garlic pills to Nick's regimen, and see what effect they have. If there's a disease origin to his condition-and some infection does seem to be involved-then there may actually be a medical basis for folk tradition. After all, garlic does have antibiotic properties.Perhaps it kills the pathogen? That would explain why, once the conversion is complete, it would instil an aversion in the host (on an instinctual level) to prevent a reversal to normality.
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54. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996.APR 1
APRIL FOOL’S DAY
I heard the news about Cal today, almost by accident. They brought in a body from Mercy-a surgical case with post-operative complications, they wondered if there was some underlying cause. The attendants warned me there was a chance he’d been infected with AIDS. Not the CoD, of course, but I should double glove.Then they told me who the surgeon was.Oh, Cal. As if it weren’t hard enough to be diagnosed, to get fired as well. (Of course, you’re a surgeon (of all the specialities!), there’s no way they’d let you keep your job. I guess, as medical problems go, Nick almost has it lucky.
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55. Text of birthday card found in the bedside table drawer in Dr. Natalie Lambert's bedroom in Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996.
To celebrate
your special day!
Happy birthday, Natalie
- your friend, Nick
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56. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. APR 14
Oh, Good Lord, I've never been so popular! Richie and Sara planned a birthday celebration for me, and then Nick turned up with a last minute surprise dinner reservation. (Where'd he find out my birthday? Oh, silly question-given he's a cop.I had to take a rain check. Can't disappoint my favourite niece.
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57. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. APR 18
Belated birthday celebrations are every bit as good. I'm just wondering what Nick paid for it all. I mean, the menu I was given didn't have prices on it, and I know what that means.
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58. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. APR 25
Nick's started another painting. Just a sketch so far, but the subject certainly looks like another stylized sun.
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59. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996.APR 30
Nick's really doing quite well with his “steak tartare”. He got through almost half the patty yesterday! I'm going to suggest he try cooking it. Okay, extra rare! (Start small.) But at least show it to the frying pan.)Our ultimate goal has to be to get him onto normal food. This liquid diet of his must be part of the problem, I'm sure of it.
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60. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 3
Nick seems very attracted to Dr. Hunter. I hate to admit that I'm jealous. I shouldn't be, he's a patient, but.....
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61. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 4
I caught Nick drinking. I suspected it, of course-especially after he spat out my latest attempt when I tried it on him.I went up today using the code he gave me and found him looking like an unshaven drunk hugging a bottle-oh, it was one of the unlabelled ones. At least, I think it was. He was in a horrible mood, and tossed it against the wall. A very nasty moment. I've got to admit for a moment I actually got a little scared. Not that there's any reason for me to be scared, of course.He apologized, at least.On the other hand, it got him finally to open up about his past. I think it's fair to say that he has family issues. It may not be quite the same sort of family as mine, but these people he talks about-Janet and Lacroix-they're obviously his own version of family. And boy!!!! does he have family issues!!!!
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62. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 5
There's obviously so much that's gone on the past couple of days that Nick hasn't told me about. I don't know that he ever will. I infer that his past is involved-largely because he's gone silent again. And that fire at his place, something happened. I don't know what, except that it was serious enough (and personal enough) to make him freeze me out. He's damned lucky the place didn't burn down. He's got Schanke to thank, really.He could have died. He could have died, which is ironic, if you think about it, given who and what he is. He could have come all this way, and tried so hard, and then just died. What a waste that would have been.He had to have a blood transfusion. Schanke offered immediately, bless him. (Oh, the look on Nick's face when I told him!) I wasn't sure it would work, with blood types and so on. Then I thought of Nick's usual diet. Which we must work harder on. I clearly need to modify the latest formula. Judging by Nick's reaction a couple of days ago, it needs some adjustment to the flavour.
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63. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 6
Hah! Nick just told me. Stonetree's made the assignment permanent. And just how will he and Schanke get on, I ask? Of course, they're not on the same shift (which makes it one weird notion of “partners”, if I know my cops-but that's Stonetree's call, and I don't doubt he has his reasons. He seems to be giving them the oddball ones. Nick says they've IDd the head, though, which at least gets them that much further forward.
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64. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 8
Nick's been very moody. At first, he wouldn't talk about it, not that that's new. Finally, he admitted he'd been thinking about that “LaCroix” he told me about, but he wouldn't say more. Just “not to worry”-which is very reassuring, of course (said she). At least it's not the blood at the crime scene, which had me worried at first. I mean, you can't disembowel someone without making a mess.
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65. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 10
I do not get this business with the cross. Nick really shied away when I showed it to him. Obviously, it's psychosomatic. There are times, and I do mean times, when I think a psychotherapist would do him more good than I can.
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66. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 12
Now isn't that interesting. I actually saw Nick touch a cross and (surprise, surprise!) nothing happened. Apparently, he spent the day in a church, too.
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67. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 22
Schanke’s worried about Nick's behaviour. And if Schanke's worried, then maybe I should be. I haven't met her, but-a stripper!!!!This is not me being jealous, this is me being a friend. I mean, when it was that curator I told him it was a great idea, didn't I? I didn't act jealous, I behaved like a friend. So this is me being a friend and wanting to give him good advice.God, what's he thinking of? He's a cop. She's a suspect. And a stripper!!!!My bad. I guess I know what he's thinking of. Or what he's thinking with, anyway.Men.
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68. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. MAY 26
I don't know if this is an apology. I guess it is. And a red rose too. Only I don't know if the symbolism would be the same back then.Not that I have any right to an apology. I'm not sure why he thinks he needs to-Well, I guess it's that chivalry thing again. Which is nice. Misplaced, but nice. (Perfume, God help us. He is not treating me like his doctor, it's no wonder he doesn't take the treatments I prescribe as seriously as he should. We are I am going to have to work on this.He's really a nice guy. I should have known it had to be a ruse of some sort.
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69. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. JUN 1
Barbara Norton just made it official-she's running for mayor. Nick says he doesn't think she'll get in, there still aren't a lot of women mayors.We had quite a fight about it. In the end, he said he hoped I'd be right, but he still doesn't think the world has changed that much. I can agree on that, I guess. Up to a point, anyway.
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70. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. JUN 7
A psychic! Man, I thought I knew Stonetree! Then, when she tried to “get a reading” from the corpse, she tripped out like a real stoner (oh, god is that a pun?) Nick was very concerned-well, she's a good-looking woman, and I saw this with Dr. Hunter before, didn't I? A trend? Damsel in distress? (That would fit, I think.)I suppose I should support Nick if he wants to date Denise. It would certainly be a very normal, human thing for him to do, and that's got to be good for him.
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71. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. JUN 9
Okay, there's no getting around it. From the face Schanke made when he took a swig of Nick's protein drink, the flavour must still be worse than I thought. No wonder Nick keeps backsliding to the bottle. He really can't keep it down.So much for Nana's insistence that I always clear my plate, no matter how I thought it tasted.Of course, Schanke took it for a milkshake. Maybe if I sweetened it?
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72. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. JUL 1
CANADA DAY
I had thought I'd ask Nick to go to the fireworks, but the Luces were pretty insistent, pointing out that I am their daughter’s godmother and-given the hours I work-I don’t get much chance to get to know her. Cynthia’s a sweet kid. Mind you, she seemed a bit tired towards the end-with that strained over-excitement that children get, that fades in the car on the way home, and ends with someone losing their temper. She's still a bit young to stay up that late.
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73. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. JUL 18
Nick's going to have to testify, there's no getting around it. Now we have to figure out how. (What he's going to say in evidence The arrest made everyone's week-I've heard far too much about that office party.
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74. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 4
I wish Nick wouldn't do that sort of thing. Oh, I know it was intended as a joke, but it really scared startled me. I threw a bowl of popcorn at him! He just laughed, and then I got mad, and he just laughed more. After that, we had to pick up all the damned popcorn (what a waste). I'd have vacuumed it, but he doesn't seem to have a vacuum cleaner. Or a broom even. I suppose he must use a cleaning firm. Men!
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75. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 11
I've finally met the famous Janette! Except the whole thing was seriously weird. I could swear they were kissing (or just about to kiss) when I walked in.Of course, she's more like an adopted sister. It isn't quite the same thing as a real sister. It wouldn't be incest exactly. I guess.I don't think I much care for this. Does she want to drag Nick back into her world? He's come so far.She looked at me in the weirdest way.
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76. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 12
I just looked at what I wrote yesterday. Yes, she did look at me in a weird way, sort of condescending with a hint of pity in it.Of course, she's very beautiful, with an exotic, sexual glamour that's just designed to attract men. After a night cutting up dead bodies, I probably looked a complete frump.
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77. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 18
The municipal election campaign is starting to warm up. I'm still hoping Norton gets in-she's so obviously better than Hiatt. Nick says he's seen too much politics down the years, and it'll all come out the same in the end (which is not true, and I pointed out Hitler, so of course he said neither Norton or Hiatt is Hitler, which I can't deny.
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78. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 19
Richie came by the morgue, which is unusual. He thinks Saul Craven ordered the hit. In which case, it's going to be a cold case, sure as shooting. (Oh lord, was that a pun?) It's not one of Nick's cases.
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79. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. AUG 22
The view from the Empire State Building is all it's cracked up to be. New York, New York! Tomorrow-shopping!!! Also, I'll pick up gifts all round (can't go to NY and not bring back souvenirs, esp. for Amy and Cynthia! What to get Nick? The man who's seen all, done all. Maybe the worst tourist trash I can find, and then we'll have a good laugh.
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80. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 7
LABOUR DAY
I wouldn't have thought Labour Day the best time to take a kid to the Ex, what with all the crowds but Sara said they'd gone last weekend too and Amy was dying to go on the Big Wheel again. She certainly went up three times, squealing all the way up and all the way round. Sara went with her the last time. I went for candy floss. Richie's all cocky about some witness he thinks he can talk into testifying. All I can say is, where Saul Craven is concerned, don't count your chickens. But my little brother is such an optimist. We headed home long before things got riotous-believe it or not, I have to go in to work tonight. So much for holidays.I still love those little doughnuts. I must get Nick onto solid food, he misses so much.
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81. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 12
I just got home from the hospital. They got hold of Sara, but I'm going to have to call Nana. She's going to blame me, I know she is.Oh, Richie, why did you have to walk into the station at just that moment? If only your car hadn't broken down. Maybe you'd still have got caught up in it all, but you'd at least have known what was going on, not just walk in unexpected into an emergency.Would it have made any difference if I'd kept you talking?Were you trying to play hero? Nick hasn't given me details yet.
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82. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 13
Damn Nick. Damn him, damn him, damn him. You hang on so bravely, and he won't do it. He could save you, I know he could.
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83. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 15
Must be the quickest funeral on record. Strings got pulled by someone (I know who). At least Richie's friends and colleagues, being here in Toronto, were all able to attend.I had to drive over to Guelph to pick up Nana. Tomorrow, I'll have to drive her back. (I can hardly ask Sara to do it, she's got Amy to deal with, and Nana is really not up to taking the GO Train.)God, being trapped for a couple of hours in a car with Nana again. She goes on and on and on. But thank God for Nick.
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84. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 17
Okay, I admit it-here in my diary, I admit it. (I haven't yet got around to the point where I can apologize, which is what I guess he deserves.)Yes, Nick was right. Or sort of right, anyway. I wasn't listening to him about the problems, just looking on the bright side. (Which is ironic, I guess, “bright side” being sunny side, and sun-all that stuff.So maybe it wouldn't have worked out anyway. Or maybe Richie just needed a little hands-on attention so soon after, and not having Nick go off to the station to work at such a critical time.I'm not letting Nick all the way off the hook.
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85. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 20
I never realized Nick had a kid sister who died. (The things I don't know about him would fill the Encyclopedia Brittanica.) He really understands how I feel. I just poured it all out to him, and sobbed on his shoulder, and he totally got it.
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86. Printout of WordPerfect 5.1 Document RICHIE.54 in subdirectory RLAMBERT on the personal laptop computer owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert.
Sept 21st
Dear Amy,
I'm going to write you this letter instead of just phoning you or having a chat next time I come round, because I think it may be the sort of thing you might get more out of if you keep it and re-read it now and then when you feel the need.Of course, your mother knows how much you miss your Dad. What you have to try to understand is that she misses him, too. She misses him dreadfully. At times, she misses him so much that she can't think of anything else--even you, hard though that must be for you. I bet, every night after you've gone to bed (and you're sound asleep then, so you wouldn't know) she just breaks down and cries.You say she doesn't cry? Well, not in front of you--but that's because she's trying so hard to be brave for you, so she can be a strong rock that you can lean on. And, yes, I know that when you try to lean on that rock it doesn't seem so strong (or maybe doesn't even seem to be there at all). But that's the point I'm trying to make. She's so broken up inside that, even when she thinks she's being a rock for you, she's more like smashed up into little pebbles. And, of course, you can't go leaning on little pebbles, can you?So she's trying. She's trying really hard. It's just that it's so difficult for her, just as it is for you. Both of you miss your Dad.I miss him, too. He's my little brother, and I feel I ought to have been looking out for him. (Doesn't that sound silly? Your Dad was so good at taking care of you, how could he need someone looking out for him? It's just that I remember when we were kids together.)When you want to talk about your Dad, and your Mom just can't bear to--why don't you give me a call? I have a shoulder you can cry on, and a good pair of ears for listening. And I loved your Dad, too.
All my love,
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87. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. SEP 25
I'm going to take my mind off all this and do something. Now all I have to do is figure out what. (Maybe I should ask Nick.)
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88. Printout of WordPerfect 5.1 Document RICHIE.55 in subdirectory RLAMBERT on the personal laptop computer owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert.
October 5th,
Dear Sara,
Of course, I understand how you feel. The house must be full of memories and hopes. Not to mention the fact that you need a job now, especially since all your savings went to the deposit and the mortgage payments must be a real worry.How the insurance company can refuse payment, I don't know. There is no way Richie can be held partly liable for his death! It's ridiculous! If I were you, I'd sue--except that you don't have the money.Putting the house on the market and going home to your family makes total sense. It'll give you a breathing space. Time to look around for a job, get retraining maybe.Obviously, I'm sorry you'll be moving so far away. On the other hand, the phone's still there. Of course, we'll keep in touch! I can't just let my only niece disappear from my life. I'll call, I'll write, I'll visit. Just be sure to give me your new address.
Love,
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89. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. OCT 5
Damn her! She sends me a letter to tell me they're going to move to Vancouver! It's pretty obvious that she figured I'd try to talk her out of it.I told Nick when I saw him, and he tried to be all understanding about it and get me to see her point of view. Oh, I get her point of view, all right! But does anyone get mine? She and Amy are my last tie with Richie.Okay, not counting Nana Tash. (But I'm not counting her.) The last straw was inviting me for Thanksgiving dinner. "Richie would have wanted it." "One last family get-together." And would I please drive out to Guelph to pick up Nana.
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90. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. OCT 22
I can't believe Schanke is working to get that corrupt bastard Hiatt elected! Barbara Norton is so obviously the better candidate. Nick says to stay out of it, but-You know, cops aren't supposed to get involved in electioneering. If Stonetree finds out, Schanke's for the high jump.
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91. Photocopy of page from personal diary owned by Dr. Natalie Lambert, removed from Apartment #218 at 36 Maitland Street in Toronto Ontario on 18 May 1996. OCT 23
Sara called. She's got a buyer. The closing date is December 4th.Well, that's okay. I don't want them here for Christmas.
Oh damn, that's not fair. I'd love a big family Christmas, just the way we always had. But with Richie-which is impossible.I guess the only way I'm going to get that big Christmas from now on is to have a family myself. That imp Lisa-she made me realize how much fun it would be to have kids. One of each? A couple of dozen? (Okay, not that many.)All I need now is the man! (Hah.)Nick was good with Lisa. He'd make a wonderful father-though that does depend on improvements in his condition, I guess. He says, in his current state, it's not a possibility. That suggests that, if things are reversed, it will be possible.You know, I never thought of it that way, but-if I do find a cure for him-then I won't be his doctor any more. Which would change so much, wouldn't it?
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Continue to Part Three