Tamsin's Office, Town Hall, Thursday Morning
Tamsin"You want me to what," Tamsin said flatly.
"Interstellar tolls?" Bright Eyes said. She was grinning brightly - too brightly. Feverishly bright. "Please? Ma'am?"
Tamsin picked her cup up off the desk and sipped it with narrowed eyes. Even her mouth seemed narrow. "Have you informed them that the island is technically taking us hostage?" she said. "We should not be entitled to pay tolls when we haven't volunteered to get on the road to begin with."
Bright Eyes gave a little shiver. Instead of responding, she produced a small mobile phone shaped like a pear with eyes and a smile. She stretched out the appendage with the phone and offered it to Tamsin.
"You are the worst," Tamsin said, snatching the phone out of her grip. "Why do I even have an assistant?"
Discord"Oh, I don't know," Discord said. He was sitting behind the desk, his feet propped up on the edge, his goat hoof crossed over his dragon foot. "I like her. She has a wonderful taste in personal technology."
All pears on the island now had eyes and a smile. And a voracious appetite for lint.
Tamsin
"What the--"
Tamsin startled enough that she dropped the stupid phone, and she stared at the-- what was that?
"Okay, what kind of Jackson Pollock meets Picasso fiasco are you?"
DiscordHe didn't even have the good grace to be in a chair. He was literally sitting in midair with his feet propped on her desk.
"I assume you're referring to two brilliant artists," Discord said, polishing his eagle claws on his furry chest. "And take that as a compliment to my chaotic glory." He blinked out with a flash and reappeared an instant later, now standing, his long spine bent in a sublimely curved bow, lion paw stretched into the air behind him. "I am Discord. And you, I take it, are the Mayor of this fair little town?"
Tamsin"What gave that away?" Tamsin asked dryly. "Is it the sign that says 'Mayor' on my desk? Get out. Take a number. Like normal people."
Which this one clearly wasn't.
Discord"Oh, is that what that says? Honestly, I can barely wrap my little brain around your strange, complex written language."
Which was why the sign that said 'Mayor' currently had a series of grumpy looking emojis on it, instead.
"And anyway, I'm not normal people. This lovely island and I are kindred spirits. Why, did you know I saw an alot of polka dots out there yesterday and he wasn't even one of mine?" Discord smiled reminiscently and wiped an enormous tear from his larger eye at the thought of it. Then the room suddenly went 40% darker, his eyes glowing out of the gloom. "That's why I've decided to take over."
Tamsin... Creepy.
And in that moment, it dawned on Tamsin that this wasn't just another attack of the turn-everyone-into-ponies weirdness.
"Yeah, no," she said, narrowing her eyes and sitting up. "Get out, freakshow. You don't want to make me have to get up from behind this desk and kick your ass out that door."
Discord"Oh my!" Discord pressed both hands -- paws -- claws? -- to his chest and backed up to the other side of the desk. "You've discovered my only weakness! Ordering me to leave."
His voice literally dripped, the sarcasm on that last bit was so heavy.
He vanished in another flash and appeared behind her, his hands on her shoulders now. "I suppose you could try to -- how did you put it -- kick my ass? If it would make you happy. But there's not much of a point to it."
TamsinOh, no, he didn't. "Don't touch me."
Tamsin reached back, trying to get a good grip on one of Discord's arms so she could yank on it.
DiscordDiscord's eagle claw came off in her hand. It was alright, he had another.
The completely bloodless, disembodied claw wiggled its fingers hello at her as Discord let go of her shoulders to pace behind her desk. "Now there's no need to tetchy. Resistance is futile, yadda yadda. I really am far better suited for the job of running this town than you are." He appeared sitting cross-legged on the desk in front of her, chin resting thoughtfully in his hand. "You don't even have detachable parts!"
Tamsin"Oh, that is gross," Tamsin commented, tossing the claw aside.
Seriously. So gross.
"You're a creepy old... something... made of spare parts," she said flatly. "No, you're not suited to be running anything besides the inside of our slammer."
Discord"That's your quaint, colloquial term for your prison, I take it? No thank you," Discord said, pacing around her in a circle, now. "I'm not partial to cages, myself. They lack a certain . . . artistry." As he walked, the room began to move with him, spinning slowly at first, then faster and faster around him and Tamsin, until it blurred. "You know, I had great hopes about the management of such an island as this one. But you're turning out to be just like the ponies I left behind in Equestria. Absolutely dull, with no appreciation for a good mixing up of elements." He stopped in front of Tamsin and loomed over her. "I am not made of 'spare parts'."
The room slowed and rocked back into place. It was no longer Tamsin's office. It was the round, interior room of a stone tower, the view out the single, tiny window looking out towards the school, and beyond it the Port of Fandom. There was a small, cartoonish table with three place settings for tea, and a set of three beds along the wall opposite the window, arranged Three Bears style from largest to smallest.
"And I'm afraid that's why you had to go," Discord finished, completely unphased by the transition. "The level of chaos Fandom and I are cooking up can only be truly appreciated by a connoisseur. Don't worry, though. I'll be sure to take very good care of her. Especially with the help of that fine assistant of yours."
Tamsin"What the--"
The only thing that was more infuriating about this than being nabbed from her own office was the knowledge that Bright Eyes would probably be delighted, irritatingly bright and chipper five-letter-word that she was.
She veered up from behind her-- okay, she was no longer sitting behind her desk. She veered up anyway, hand sliding into her jacket to grope around for a knife. "Oh, no, this is not happening," she said. "Not on my watch." Beat. "Again."
They had more than enough chaos to go around.
DiscordThe knife she found in her jacket would be made of brightly colored plastic and not have enough of an edge to cut bread. You could possibly buy one just like it in a set of faux kitchen utensils for toddlers.
"I like your energy," Discord said, sounding like a director talking to a bright young thing coming in for her first cattle call audition. "But it is happening. Has happened, even. As you can see. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's some extremely fine chaos going on outside that I simply must attend to." He wiggled his eagle claw at her and gave her a cheery smile. "Tata!"
And he vanished, leaving Tamsin behind in the tower.
Tamsin"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Tamsin bellowed, shaking a plastic yellow knife at the spot Discord had just vacated. "I am taking each one of your parts off one by one!"
Then she realised what she was holding, let out an angry grunt, and tossed it violently aside.
[[ nfi! preplayed with the splendiferious vdistinctive ]]