Diary of a mad white boner
There are so many things to say
but...
I just dont feel like sharing
today.
Im not dead. Yet. So, worry, or dont. I dont know which side everyone is taking on the whole Brian being dead issue, so either way, just so you know:
Im am still very much alive.
And horny.
And once again, I am not privy to the inner thinkings of everyone on the subject of me being horny, but to clear up the confusion:
I am. Horny and not dead.
Alive and horny.
Which is better than being dead and flacid.
If you die with a boner, does it stay a boner in mortum?
"My boner will go on"
Dead and Deboner
6 foot under, 8 inches over. (or 5 foor 4 inches under)
Dracula: Dead and boning it.
It would bring a terrifying meaning to open casket.
I want my boner to live forever, not in infamy though. I want people to be telling stories about this boner decades after I am gone. "You want to talk about boners? Ha, let me tell you..."
I want my boner to be cryogenically frozen so that one day, he can give a poor penisless boy the gift of a surgically attached penis. We donate our livers and kidneys, why not our penis'? "I have been on the penis transplant waiting list for three years!" I shudder to think that not donating my man meat would cause such a thing to be said.
Maybe a wax museum tribute like they do for people when they die. It would be like a year long museum tour... first we would start in Akron Ohio, because that is where my root first took root. We would end somewhere in California, because I think I would like to visit Cali. On display would be the various stages of the boner throughout its life. And the various fad haircuts. "And back in 1996, his stupid owner attempted to shave his girlfriends initials ...."
They wouldnt charge much, and I wouldnt want them to. Like I said, I want to share the boner. Boners are to be shared freely, not paid for like some hunk of swiss cheese at the grocery store.
Its my boner, and Goddamnit, its free!
but...
I just dont feel like sharing
today.
Im not dead. Yet. So, worry, or dont. I dont know which side everyone is taking on the whole Brian being dead issue, so either way, just so you know:
Im am still very much alive.
And horny.
And once again, I am not privy to the inner thinkings of everyone on the subject of me being horny, but to clear up the confusion:
I am. Horny and not dead.
Alive and horny.
Which is better than being dead and flacid.
If you die with a boner, does it stay a boner in mortum?
"My boner will go on"
Dead and Deboner
6 foot under, 8 inches over. (or 5 foor 4 inches under)
Dracula: Dead and boning it.
It would bring a terrifying meaning to open casket.
I want my boner to live forever, not in infamy though. I want people to be telling stories about this boner decades after I am gone. "You want to talk about boners? Ha, let me tell you..."
I want my boner to be cryogenically frozen so that one day, he can give a poor penisless boy the gift of a surgically attached penis. We donate our livers and kidneys, why not our penis'? "I have been on the penis transplant waiting list for three years!" I shudder to think that not donating my man meat would cause such a thing to be said.
Maybe a wax museum tribute like they do for people when they die. It would be like a year long museum tour... first we would start in Akron Ohio, because that is where my root first took root. We would end somewhere in California, because I think I would like to visit Cali. On display would be the various stages of the boner throughout its life. And the various fad haircuts. "And back in 1996, his stupid owner attempted to shave his girlfriends initials ...."
They wouldnt charge much, and I wouldnt want them to. Like I said, I want to share the boner. Boners are to be shared freely, not paid for like some hunk of swiss cheese at the grocery store.
Its my boner, and Goddamnit, its free!