Saying goodbye's the hardest part

[fjf1085]

So yeah, nothing every really turns out the way you want or hope for. I wish I was a better person. Justin and I broke up last week. It was mostly my fault. I guess I am not ready to be the better person he wants or needs, and it is really very sad because I do love him so very much. I think about him and dream about him. I know I have done things wrong and continue to do them wrong. I wish I didn't. I am sorry that I hurt him. I really do miss him, he was the first person since, well the only person besides Trew, who I've ever felt this strongly about. And it sucks a lot and it hurts. Maybe it is for the best, I am going to be taking a lot of classes this summer, 12 credits worth and I need to start working so I won't really have any time. But those are all just rationalizations, none of it makes me feel any better. I do love him. I do. Just made right now isn't best for me...I'm sure he wont be there when I am ready, but maybe he will. I dk what I am even talking about anymore. All I know is I do love him but I kept fucking things up and it sucks because I just felt like all I ever did was fuck things up and I couldn't live like that anymore. Better for him if I just go and figure out how to stop fucking up, when I'm ready, I guess I just am not ready to just yet. Anyway, my May Term Stats class starts in 9 hours, so I need to get to bed...read, comment, leave some love let me know you're still reading...goodnight

-Fred :)

Saying goodbye this time,
The same old story
Seeing you cry,
Makes me feel like saying sorry

-Saying Sorry- Hawthorne Heights