this might be depressing so dont read it if u dont wana be sad.
ummmm...my dog passed away today. his name was benjamin and we called him ben. he was a black lab with a white chest and lil white tips on his paws. he was cute. he lived for about 11 years. i didnt cry wen my dad took him to the vet (he was put to sleep) but i had a lump in my throat, it felt like there was a coconut in my stomach, and ten pounds hanging from my heart. my heart still feels heavy even tho its been a few hours. i couldnt go this time. i went to the vet a couple years ago wen we put christy to sleep and i couldnt bring myself to do it again with ben. my dad was upset wen he got home, i looked at him and i saw it in his eyes and face. he was crying. hes sad obviously becuz he had to put ben down and he loved him but also i think becuz wen we first got ben, gosh it was so long ago. we were all so young. and now its like his life has been lived and it was his time. it was for the best and i think my dad feels that its like the end of his youth somewhat. were all getting older and we cant stop time. kinda like a reality check. it was for the best tho. bens knees, hips, and back was shot and we found out he had a huge tomber is his spleen. hes been on serious pain killers since about six months ago and lately hes been in agony unless he has his meds. and wen he had his meds there were so strong that he was "high flyin". so to keep him alive any longer would have been sorta cruel cuz he'd be stoned all the time. its hard to let go, even if i wasnt to close with him. hes still one of my dogs and its really sad.
but i realized that we all go thro our lives and were all gona die. and we think were invincible sometimes but were not. alot of times we waste our lives and dont realize how special it really is to live. we never appreciate the small things cuz were to busy spending half our lives on gossip and tv, and stinken hw. i wish we could just live our lives with our eyes wide open and bare footed but man is it hard. this world is so fast paced. everything has to be written in stone and everyone has way to many plans for the future and forgets about the here and now. the fact that u woke up today and could walk and it didnt hurt one bit. dogs are so simple and they only want one thing for u, and they require it in such a simple fashion. we are so much different. half the world acts like idiots, and i bet ya wen they look back on there lives, there not happy. cuz wen we look back we only wana remember the happy, good things. we live for experiences, we live for the choices, we live for the love and relationships. and i wish we wouldnt get lost in suck junk all the time. this world isnt for me. its to fast-paced. im pretty simple and things like today make me even simpler. im glad i have elliot. im not obsessed with him. ive just recognized the simple joy he brings me and truly cherish him. and gosh thats alot more than i can say for some ppl today. and im not directing that at any of u so dont take offense. regardless of anything else, death is always hard.
R.I.P.
Ben
but i realized that we all go thro our lives and were all gona die. and we think were invincible sometimes but were not. alot of times we waste our lives and dont realize how special it really is to live. we never appreciate the small things cuz were to busy spending half our lives on gossip and tv, and stinken hw. i wish we could just live our lives with our eyes wide open and bare footed but man is it hard. this world is so fast paced. everything has to be written in stone and everyone has way to many plans for the future and forgets about the here and now. the fact that u woke up today and could walk and it didnt hurt one bit. dogs are so simple and they only want one thing for u, and they require it in such a simple fashion. we are so much different. half the world acts like idiots, and i bet ya wen they look back on there lives, there not happy. cuz wen we look back we only wana remember the happy, good things. we live for experiences, we live for the choices, we live for the love and relationships. and i wish we wouldnt get lost in suck junk all the time. this world isnt for me. its to fast-paced. im pretty simple and things like today make me even simpler. im glad i have elliot. im not obsessed with him. ive just recognized the simple joy he brings me and truly cherish him. and gosh thats alot more than i can say for some ppl today. and im not directing that at any of u so dont take offense. regardless of anything else, death is always hard.
R.I.P.
Ben