Oh, hai there.
This is the first free moment I've had in... I don't even know how long. Weeks.
There's so much I don't even know where to start.
We thought we were going to be moving to Pittsburgh for a while there, because there was this really great job with this really great company who we were just so sure was going to make Chris an offer. But then they didn't. And the other job-on-the-line, the one that he's been interviewing with since February, who we were positive was going to offer Chris that job... didn't. So we spent some time being really fucking miserable, the both of us. Now it looks like he'll be starting a contracting job tomorrow. It's only a 5 week gig, but 5 weeks of pay is a lot better than nothing, and we have the hope that this will spin off into something else. Even if it's just another contract job, at this point money is such a concern that I almost don't even care about the rest of our plans. If I have to live in New York for another couple of years... oh, well. It is what it is. I just want my man to be able to work, and to be able to find a job that doesn't make him miserable. And I want to be able to finish school. That, too.
Speaking of school, I'm waiting for one of my grades, but it looks like I'll have pulled off another 4.0 this semester. Woohooo! This semester wasn't nearly as hard as I was afraid it would be, although finals felt really super incredibly overwhelming for a hot minute there. It was just a whole real lot to do on top of Chris interviewing, and wedding stuff, and BBC, and Charlie and Katie wanted to come visit and I didn't want to say no, and.... Yeah, it's been sort of neverending. We had a great visit with Charlie and Katie, though. I really love those girls. Katie is shockingly more like me than I ever would have guessed. Which makes me a little nervous, actually, hahaha. She's such a great kid. I just hope I can help them both out a little bit. Be in touch, and be enough of a touch-stone that they can make it through the rest of the part where they're trapped with their shitty parents, help them through the part that's finding out how to be who they want to be instead of who their childhoods made them. I'll try, and I hope.
Kyle spent all weekend here, and that was absolutely wonderful. She's doing so well, and it makes me so happy to see. She's not drinking much, and she looks so healthy, and she sounds so healthy. She can talk about her past and the ways her parents fucked her up rationally. She's aware of her emotions, and learning to be okay with having them. She's even learning some fiscal responsibility! It was so good to spend so much time with her. We talked for ages and ages and ages. And the funny thing is, it didn't "feel just like old times." It felt like picking right up, like there was no distance and no... no lag between us, y'know? But it didn't feel like old times. It felt like new times. Like we're new people who still remember exactly how to love each other. That was pretty fantastic.
Today is like my last day of (relative) relaxation and freedom until after the wedding. Work the next three days, then Morgan birthday party on Saturday (my good fucking glub, the child is going to be 12. Can you even believe that?). Sunday we'll stop by Chris' mom's like we always do, and we have to find a way into the parking lot that has the start of the path to get to the spot in the woods where we want to get married (we've only walked there from the other side of the park). We looked for it a few days ago, and we have a pretty good idea of where it is, but we have to nail it down before the wedding, obviously. Monday or Tuesday we need to go shopping to pick up anything we might need for the honeymoon because, oh yeah, I get to go on a honeymoon!!! With Chris starting work, even if it's a contracting job, we felt okay accepting his mom's offer of giving us a couple grand to go on a honeymoon. So we're going to drive her back home after the reception (because she doesn't drive, so we have to cart her around all weekend during our marriage stuff. Super cool.), come home, finish packing, nap for a couple of hours, and then we'll be up at 4 in the morning to catch our 7 am plane. But then. THEN. Then we get to spend 5 nights at an all-inclusive resort in Riviera Maya. Joy. Bliss. Honeymoonage. I am very excited.
Everything is taken care of for the wedding, which is a great feeling. There's one thing that hasn't shipped, but I got in touch with the shop and was assured it would go out today or tomorrow, which leaves plenty of time for it to get here. My vows are written. My dress is beautiful. I got another dress to wear to the actual ceremony, which is pretty but simple (so, fitting). I just have to call at some point next week and make a reservation with the restaurant we'll be going to after. Oh, and call my bank and let them know I'll be in Mexico, so they don't put a hold on my account.
Oof. I'm nervous. There's a lot to do, and a lot that could go wrong. Families and insanity. Chris is going to be really stressed and probably pretty burnt, and I really am afraid that will get in the way of us, and of enjoying these moments. I want to be able to remember this all fondly, and not with a sheen of anxiety. I don't want us to spat because he's stressed and I'm frazzled. But I guess worrying over it and stressing about it in advance is only going to have a self-fulfilling effect.
Damn though. I cannot wait to be married. And that is such a weird, excellent feeling. We really wanted to have our names changed before the event, but with Chris still job-searching he has to wait until he's full-time, long-term employed before he starts to process. I was holding off because I thought we'd be moving to Pittsburgh, and it seemed easier to just wait, but now that's not happening I'll start the process as soon as we get back from Mexico. I still have to talk to Mom about the name change. I guess I'll have to do that at Morgan's party this weekend. That'll really be the last opportunity. Bleh. But yay for the name change itself! I can't wait.
Okay. I'm going to go enjoy the vegetation time I have today, because it'll be the last for a while. Y'all be good. I'll try to get on here before it's been another month. No promises, though.
There's so much I don't even know where to start.
We thought we were going to be moving to Pittsburgh for a while there, because there was this really great job with this really great company who we were just so sure was going to make Chris an offer. But then they didn't. And the other job-on-the-line, the one that he's been interviewing with since February, who we were positive was going to offer Chris that job... didn't. So we spent some time being really fucking miserable, the both of us. Now it looks like he'll be starting a contracting job tomorrow. It's only a 5 week gig, but 5 weeks of pay is a lot better than nothing, and we have the hope that this will spin off into something else. Even if it's just another contract job, at this point money is such a concern that I almost don't even care about the rest of our plans. If I have to live in New York for another couple of years... oh, well. It is what it is. I just want my man to be able to work, and to be able to find a job that doesn't make him miserable. And I want to be able to finish school. That, too.
Speaking of school, I'm waiting for one of my grades, but it looks like I'll have pulled off another 4.0 this semester. Woohooo! This semester wasn't nearly as hard as I was afraid it would be, although finals felt really super incredibly overwhelming for a hot minute there. It was just a whole real lot to do on top of Chris interviewing, and wedding stuff, and BBC, and Charlie and Katie wanted to come visit and I didn't want to say no, and.... Yeah, it's been sort of neverending. We had a great visit with Charlie and Katie, though. I really love those girls. Katie is shockingly more like me than I ever would have guessed. Which makes me a little nervous, actually, hahaha. She's such a great kid. I just hope I can help them both out a little bit. Be in touch, and be enough of a touch-stone that they can make it through the rest of the part where they're trapped with their shitty parents, help them through the part that's finding out how to be who they want to be instead of who their childhoods made them. I'll try, and I hope.
Kyle spent all weekend here, and that was absolutely wonderful. She's doing so well, and it makes me so happy to see. She's not drinking much, and she looks so healthy, and she sounds so healthy. She can talk about her past and the ways her parents fucked her up rationally. She's aware of her emotions, and learning to be okay with having them. She's even learning some fiscal responsibility! It was so good to spend so much time with her. We talked for ages and ages and ages. And the funny thing is, it didn't "feel just like old times." It felt like picking right up, like there was no distance and no... no lag between us, y'know? But it didn't feel like old times. It felt like new times. Like we're new people who still remember exactly how to love each other. That was pretty fantastic.
Today is like my last day of (relative) relaxation and freedom until after the wedding. Work the next three days, then Morgan birthday party on Saturday (my good fucking glub, the child is going to be 12. Can you even believe that?). Sunday we'll stop by Chris' mom's like we always do, and we have to find a way into the parking lot that has the start of the path to get to the spot in the woods where we want to get married (we've only walked there from the other side of the park). We looked for it a few days ago, and we have a pretty good idea of where it is, but we have to nail it down before the wedding, obviously. Monday or Tuesday we need to go shopping to pick up anything we might need for the honeymoon because, oh yeah, I get to go on a honeymoon!!! With Chris starting work, even if it's a contracting job, we felt okay accepting his mom's offer of giving us a couple grand to go on a honeymoon. So we're going to drive her back home after the reception (because she doesn't drive, so we have to cart her around all weekend during our marriage stuff. Super cool.), come home, finish packing, nap for a couple of hours, and then we'll be up at 4 in the morning to catch our 7 am plane. But then. THEN. Then we get to spend 5 nights at an all-inclusive resort in Riviera Maya. Joy. Bliss. Honeymoonage. I am very excited.
Everything is taken care of for the wedding, which is a great feeling. There's one thing that hasn't shipped, but I got in touch with the shop and was assured it would go out today or tomorrow, which leaves plenty of time for it to get here. My vows are written. My dress is beautiful. I got another dress to wear to the actual ceremony, which is pretty but simple (so, fitting). I just have to call at some point next week and make a reservation with the restaurant we'll be going to after. Oh, and call my bank and let them know I'll be in Mexico, so they don't put a hold on my account.
Oof. I'm nervous. There's a lot to do, and a lot that could go wrong. Families and insanity. Chris is going to be really stressed and probably pretty burnt, and I really am afraid that will get in the way of us, and of enjoying these moments. I want to be able to remember this all fondly, and not with a sheen of anxiety. I don't want us to spat because he's stressed and I'm frazzled. But I guess worrying over it and stressing about it in advance is only going to have a self-fulfilling effect.
Damn though. I cannot wait to be married. And that is such a weird, excellent feeling. We really wanted to have our names changed before the event, but with Chris still job-searching he has to wait until he's full-time, long-term employed before he starts to process. I was holding off because I thought we'd be moving to Pittsburgh, and it seemed easier to just wait, but now that's not happening I'll start the process as soon as we get back from Mexico. I still have to talk to Mom about the name change. I guess I'll have to do that at Morgan's party this weekend. That'll really be the last opportunity. Bleh. But yay for the name change itself! I can't wait.
Okay. I'm going to go enjoy the vegetation time I have today, because it'll be the last for a while. Y'all be good. I'll try to get on here before it's been another month. No promises, though.