o.O
I can't stop thinking the words "I can't breathe."
Which is odd. Because I can breathe just fine. Every time I think it I pull in a nice deep breath, just to make sure. And, no, sure enough. I can breathe. But there's the words again. "I can't breathe."
Brain is in a funny place right now. I'm awfully tired, have been for the past few days... Oh, right. I'm PMSing. It doesn't happen right before my period anymore, since I started the NuvaRing, so maybe it doesn't actually count as a bout of pre-menstrual symptoms, but it feels just like PMS and is connected to my hormones and my cycle, so PMS is as good a phrase as any. Anyway, it hits me right smack dab in the middle of the month now. It hits like clockwork, which is pretty cool, and at worst I'm really bitchy and weepy for two or three days. Considering what PMS used to be like for me, I'll take it. Although sometimes when it's happening and Chris and I lay down at night and I start to cry, I get that weird, awful, clawing-shake-jitter-shatter-scream feeling inside my head. But it goes away after 15 or 20 minutes, and it doesn't happen every time (like it used to). So I'm tired, and I had a melt-down about my weight (I put on 8 pounds in December and am hovering dangerously close to 150 again, a place I surely don't want to be) the other day because after two weeks (and losing a pound and a half!) I was suddenly right back up to where I started at 148, even though I've been doing everything right, and my brain is a little bizarre today, and I'm a little snippy and weepy. Gods, and I am SO TIRED. But! I'm pretty sure this is the third day, so I should be done tomorrow. Also tomorrow is pizza and beer night (my very favorite night), and it's the last real night of relaxation we'll have since school starts next Tuesday (no, I'm not talking about or thinking about or going anywhere near that. Not just yet) I'm planning on enjoying the ever-loving fuck out of it. Savoring it, if you will.
What a parenthesis-ful post this is!
Okay. Showered. Walked the dog. So tired. Feel drugged. Was gonna talk about birthday and other stuff and... can't. Dead. Finding book. Falling into book. Sleeping forever. Or, y'know, until my alarm goes off. Maybe I'll sleep some more at work tomorrow. That'd be so rad. 'Cause it's not like I'll be having any customers! Oh yeah, I made $15 at work today. Sigh.
Oh! Gotta remember to get my pay stubs tomorrow.
No, really, I'm insane and rambling inanely. I'm going now.
Which is odd. Because I can breathe just fine. Every time I think it I pull in a nice deep breath, just to make sure. And, no, sure enough. I can breathe. But there's the words again. "I can't breathe."
Brain is in a funny place right now. I'm awfully tired, have been for the past few days... Oh, right. I'm PMSing. It doesn't happen right before my period anymore, since I started the NuvaRing, so maybe it doesn't actually count as a bout of pre-menstrual symptoms, but it feels just like PMS and is connected to my hormones and my cycle, so PMS is as good a phrase as any. Anyway, it hits me right smack dab in the middle of the month now. It hits like clockwork, which is pretty cool, and at worst I'm really bitchy and weepy for two or three days. Considering what PMS used to be like for me, I'll take it. Although sometimes when it's happening and Chris and I lay down at night and I start to cry, I get that weird, awful, clawing-shake-jitter-shatter-scream feeling inside my head. But it goes away after 15 or 20 minutes, and it doesn't happen every time (like it used to). So I'm tired, and I had a melt-down about my weight (I put on 8 pounds in December and am hovering dangerously close to 150 again, a place I surely don't want to be) the other day because after two weeks (and losing a pound and a half!) I was suddenly right back up to where I started at 148, even though I've been doing everything right, and my brain is a little bizarre today, and I'm a little snippy and weepy. Gods, and I am SO TIRED. But! I'm pretty sure this is the third day, so I should be done tomorrow. Also tomorrow is pizza and beer night (my very favorite night), and it's the last real night of relaxation we'll have since school starts next Tuesday (no, I'm not talking about or thinking about or going anywhere near that. Not just yet) I'm planning on enjoying the ever-loving fuck out of it. Savoring it, if you will.
What a parenthesis-ful post this is!
Okay. Showered. Walked the dog. So tired. Feel drugged. Was gonna talk about birthday and other stuff and... can't. Dead. Finding book. Falling into book. Sleeping forever. Or, y'know, until my alarm goes off. Maybe I'll sleep some more at work tomorrow. That'd be so rad. 'Cause it's not like I'll be having any customers! Oh yeah, I made $15 at work today. Sigh.
Oh! Gotta remember to get my pay stubs tomorrow.
No, really, I'm insane and rambling inanely. I'm going now.