Welcome to the Apocaylpse, I'll be your tourguide
Saying, "it rained today," would be like saying our Iraq policy is, "shortsighted."
Tori was out giving plasma today so I asked her if she would meet me for lunch at Taco John's. She said it was starting to rain, but sure, she'd walk over and meet me there. When I left my home on the 11th floor I looked outside and saw it was in fact, pouring, outside. I went back upstairs and got my ghetto fabulous trashbag poncho that I had left up there for just such occasions. Thinking it would keep me dry on my little walk. Not realizing that the storm was just getting started.
I donned my protective cover, the latest in trashbag engineering and fashion, and set off. By the time I had crossed the street to the cover of a nearby building at a full run my hair was entirely wet. I ran most of the rest of the half mile or so to the restraunt cutting through as many buildings as I could and eventually reached Taco John's, home of 99 cent taco bravo (think Taco Bell's double decker taco but northernized) Thursdays dripping wet, but with the items in my pockets still protected from the elements. Tori, who did not have my forsight in procuring a ghetto-tastic slicker, was as far from dry as a person could be. As we ate, the storm worsened. People began talking to other tables and store employees about the weather. Then a roof panel started to leak. Then the speakers started to leak. The ceiling tiles were near to giving way. The water level reached higher than the sidewalks outside. We were both very wet and getting cold and did not relish the thought of a day hanging out in my office, where the air conditioning is turned up so high that I also keep a heavy sweatshirt to make it through the summer. We could wait out the storm which the guy behind the counter assured us would be going on for a long time, or we could brave the storm and hike to a bus stop, hoping agaist all evidence that the buses could get through the pile up of stranded cars. With Tori's Harry Potter book clutched under my poncho for protection, we made our egress into the deluge.
We almost had to turn back before we got to the parking lot. The water level at the bottom of the stairs leading outside was muddy and up to mid-calf and filled with plant debris. Tori balked at walking in it, but it was that or come back in, tails between our legs. So we braved on through downtown Waterworld. We spent a while moving uphill, so you'd think it would quickly get easier, but the storm kept up and we were regularly above our shoes in water. Cars were up the the bottoms of their bodies in wet stuff and still it came down. Sewer drains had ceased to take in water and were now pouring it out from higher pressure zones near the lake. Water was now approaching knee level in places. Rivers poured out from elevated areas, and people stood under building awnings just silently watching the water climb. We waved and kept treking. Now cars going by were pushing walls of water ahead of them if they moved at all. Some were pulled over on sidewalks to stay on higher ground, groovin' to whatever tunes rev their engines. Manhole covers (courtesy of Neehah foundry) were lifted off and water was surging up from underground. I saw a Hummer H2 (driven by the biggest pussy the world has every known) with its emergency lights on, not daring to move as a Camry, against all odds, drove past and an Eclipse sat waiting anxiously for the light to turn. The last street we crossed getting to the bus stop (we'll call it the mighty Mississippi) was so strong that while we waded into it, we had to leap the last several steps for fear of being SWEPT OFF OUR FEET!
When the bus finally came it was from a street the bus usually doesn't take, and a spry young fellow jumped out and ran over to us explaing that the bus couldn't go the normal route because the water was too high, but that the bus driver would do his best. So the bus pulled up a few bus lengths up fom the stop (because it came from the wrong street) and we all ducked our heads and jogged over, occasionallly looking back to make sure everyone was still with us. I swear it was like "leave no man behind" as a guy fell back dragging his sodden bike behind him. The bus driver was a rotund and jolly loud man, like a mad sea captain yelling about the sights he'd seen, bellowing about water coming over cars' hoods and small cars nearly disappearing under the tides down Langdon. He said that if he broke down he was gonna do it at a restraunt, and what did he care since he got paid by the hour. We had to take several alternate routes just to try to ferry the passengers to home and work. Our Mad Captain laughed at the folks who were looking to get a ride back toward downtown. Finally we came to a dripping halt near enough our home to hoof it the rest of the way, a slightly longer jaunt than normal since our Fearless Captain misunderstood our desired port. Just inside the door to our humble and blissfully dry abode, we both stripped nekid. And when I say "stripped", I mean peeled our sodden more-water-than-cloth attire off our clammy and dripping bodies. Our journey was finished, and we were really, really wet.
Tori was out giving plasma today so I asked her if she would meet me for lunch at Taco John's. She said it was starting to rain, but sure, she'd walk over and meet me there. When I left my home on the 11th floor I looked outside and saw it was in fact, pouring, outside. I went back upstairs and got my ghetto fabulous trashbag poncho that I had left up there for just such occasions. Thinking it would keep me dry on my little walk. Not realizing that the storm was just getting started.
I donned my protective cover, the latest in trashbag engineering and fashion, and set off. By the time I had crossed the street to the cover of a nearby building at a full run my hair was entirely wet. I ran most of the rest of the half mile or so to the restraunt cutting through as many buildings as I could and eventually reached Taco John's, home of 99 cent taco bravo (think Taco Bell's double decker taco but northernized) Thursdays dripping wet, but with the items in my pockets still protected from the elements. Tori, who did not have my forsight in procuring a ghetto-tastic slicker, was as far from dry as a person could be. As we ate, the storm worsened. People began talking to other tables and store employees about the weather. Then a roof panel started to leak. Then the speakers started to leak. The ceiling tiles were near to giving way. The water level reached higher than the sidewalks outside. We were both very wet and getting cold and did not relish the thought of a day hanging out in my office, where the air conditioning is turned up so high that I also keep a heavy sweatshirt to make it through the summer. We could wait out the storm which the guy behind the counter assured us would be going on for a long time, or we could brave the storm and hike to a bus stop, hoping agaist all evidence that the buses could get through the pile up of stranded cars. With Tori's Harry Potter book clutched under my poncho for protection, we made our egress into the deluge.
We almost had to turn back before we got to the parking lot. The water level at the bottom of the stairs leading outside was muddy and up to mid-calf and filled with plant debris. Tori balked at walking in it, but it was that or come back in, tails between our legs. So we braved on through downtown Waterworld. We spent a while moving uphill, so you'd think it would quickly get easier, but the storm kept up and we were regularly above our shoes in water. Cars were up the the bottoms of their bodies in wet stuff and still it came down. Sewer drains had ceased to take in water and were now pouring it out from higher pressure zones near the lake. Water was now approaching knee level in places. Rivers poured out from elevated areas, and people stood under building awnings just silently watching the water climb. We waved and kept treking. Now cars going by were pushing walls of water ahead of them if they moved at all. Some were pulled over on sidewalks to stay on higher ground, groovin' to whatever tunes rev their engines. Manhole covers (courtesy of Neehah foundry) were lifted off and water was surging up from underground. I saw a Hummer H2 (driven by the biggest pussy the world has every known) with its emergency lights on, not daring to move as a Camry, against all odds, drove past and an Eclipse sat waiting anxiously for the light to turn. The last street we crossed getting to the bus stop (we'll call it the mighty Mississippi) was so strong that while we waded into it, we had to leap the last several steps for fear of being SWEPT OFF OUR FEET!
When the bus finally came it was from a street the bus usually doesn't take, and a spry young fellow jumped out and ran over to us explaing that the bus couldn't go the normal route because the water was too high, but that the bus driver would do his best. So the bus pulled up a few bus lengths up fom the stop (because it came from the wrong street) and we all ducked our heads and jogged over, occasionallly looking back to make sure everyone was still with us. I swear it was like "leave no man behind" as a guy fell back dragging his sodden bike behind him. The bus driver was a rotund and jolly loud man, like a mad sea captain yelling about the sights he'd seen, bellowing about water coming over cars' hoods and small cars nearly disappearing under the tides down Langdon. He said that if he broke down he was gonna do it at a restraunt, and what did he care since he got paid by the hour. We had to take several alternate routes just to try to ferry the passengers to home and work. Our Mad Captain laughed at the folks who were looking to get a ride back toward downtown. Finally we came to a dripping halt near enough our home to hoof it the rest of the way, a slightly longer jaunt than normal since our Fearless Captain misunderstood our desired port. Just inside the door to our humble and blissfully dry abode, we both stripped nekid. And when I say "stripped", I mean peeled our sodden more-water-than-cloth attire off our clammy and dripping bodies. Our journey was finished, and we were really, really wet.