Pieces to a puzzle...

[fixthepast]

Somehow I've found myself working for the Company.  Still not sure how that happened but it's not something I was going to turn down either.  A chance to be around all these specials?  Gain their powers and fuck with their minds?  What's not to love?  But for now I have to do all the tedious work and the first person I get to see is Sylar. He comes

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[fixthepast]

"No, I figured you would eventually, I was hoping that we'd become...partners first." He really is something to see. I wonder how many people he's made scream that they don't even know about, if he enjoys the fear in their eyes like I do.

"You might think that but I'm sure they'll find a way. And I know you asked, I avoided answering. I'll tell you now but I don't think you'd care much either, even if the answer is something you want to hear." I'm better at my job then he thinks, sometimes you get more out of someone if you don't acknowledge their questions.

He tells me that this is everything he needs and I smile as he covers my mouth. I watch him lift his finger. "You said you wanted someone to understand you, to accept who you are now and then. You're going to kill the only person who does." My voice muffled by his hand. "I understand you, we're more alike than you think. I have great respect for what you used to do and I respect what you're doing now." I watch him carefully. "You really are unique and special. I mean that sincerely. I didn't know there was another like me out there until I heard about you."

[heartofmurder]

I give him an amused look. "Partners? You know how much I hate everyone here. You know I'm a solitary person. What on earth made you think I would want that?" My god, he's even stupider than I thought.

I shake my head, "They might find a way for a while, but I'm always smarter." Then he tries to play off not paying attention to him deliberately avoiding to answer and I laugh. If I kill him, I'll be doing a service to humanity. Less stupid in the world. "You're scrambling here, doctor. And still, you have nothing else I want besides what's in your brain."

He's still fucking talking. The nerve of him. "Maybe you understand me more than they do, but I don't respect you one bit. I think you're stupid and stuck up. Not a very good combination." I narrow my eyes at him, "Don't tell me I'm like you. I figured out how to get to you, but you have no idea what gets to me. Clearly." Someone can finally teach him his place. "We'll be even more alike when I cut into your head and take what I want," I grin, lifting my hand again and start cutting into his head. It's too late now. I can't turn back. I'm going to get what I really want.

[fixthepast]

"You said you wanted to change some parts of you but not all of them. Is this really going to do that? Aren't you going to just go back to where you were? You didn't want to kill anymore, defeats the purpose of all this then if you kill me." I grit out.

"You talked about all the things that everyone wants. You want those too, don't you." I try not to cry out when he starts slicing into my head. "If you didn't want something from us all, you wouldn't be here, trying to make changes to be accepted." It's hard to think and my mind doesn't want to cooperate. "You want family. You said that I was pathetic for hating my family, avoiding them. You have no one, you have no family anymore. You want that. You can have a family but not if you kill again."

[heartofmurder]

I don't want to go back to where I was, not before, but I'm too deep into this now. If I let him live, he'll tell all of them. I'll have to run or give myself up to them which I'll never fucking do. Don't let him get inside your head.

"Shut up!" I growl at him, "I don't want anything but this." But that's not true. Not anymore. Even though the pain on his face when I cut into him, the light sweat that's forming on his brow... those are all things I miss, all things I long for. It's not like he can really help me anyway, can he?

When he tells me how much I want family, how I have no one now and I wont ever if I kill again, I freeze, breathing heavily. "You're going to tell them anyway. They're just going to throw me back into a cell!" Don't listen to him, damn it! Just take the damn ability and be done with it. Having all these abilities, I wont need anyone. I'm fine on my own. I am.

[fixthepast]

Even I can tell that he doesn't want to do this, otherwise I'd be dead already. The pain is getting stronger and I don't think I can hold on much longer but I need to or he's going to kill me. Clenching my teeth together, I force myself to look at him, ignore the blood running down my face.

He stops and I almost pass out just from the relief of the pain but I take deep breaths and look at him. "I'm not going to tell them anything. I don't want you locked up anymore than you do. If you really want to change those things, I can help you. I know you don't think so but I can. But first you have to stop this. If you kill me, you lose everything."

[heartofmurder]

I swallow hard, searching his face. He has been trying to get me out there, get me to go out in the field. I think. It's what he's been saying, but I'm not even really sure. I hate not being sure.

I don't want to lose everything. I've been working so fucking hard, holding myself back from killing for all these months. If I do this now, it will all have been for nothing and I'll never have anyone on my side. I let go of him, letting out a gasp and stepping back. Now he's either going to yell for the agents or not. Please don't let him betray me.

[fixthepast]

He's searching my face and I just keep my gaze steady on him. It hurts like hell and I want to scream but I know that would be the biggest mistake of my life. I can handle the pain, I just need him to stop and see that I'm not going to betray him.

Falling to the floor with a hiss as he lets go, I shake from the adrenaline rushing through me. Taking out my handkerchief, I press it against my forehead and try not to pass out. After a moment, I get to my feet and look at him. "Now that we have that out of the way, have a seat." I make my way over to the bar, grabbing a bottle of water to clean myself up with. I'm going to have to get a new suit and figure out how to hide this until I get home.

Wetting my handkerchief down, I start cleaning at my face. "I wasn't lying when I said I wanted you out in the field, that I wanted to help you stay out of a cell. I am on your side, whether you believe me or not." Taking a deep breath, I turn back to him. "Are you going to let me help you or not?"

[heartofmurder]

I watch as he falls to the floor, suddenly feeling bad for what I did. Yeah, he's an asshole, but he's also been the only one to listen to me. And I almost killed him. I swallow hard, giving him a nod and glad that he's not going to tell any agents. He's just pulling himself together and now I feel guilty as hell. I hate feeling like this. It's how the old me used to feel, not the new me. I don't even fucking know what the new me is, though.

"Yeah, sure." I say softly when he asks if I'm going to let him help me. My entire demeanor is different now and I wonder just what the hell is going on with me. I can't stand any of it. I can't even look at him. Now he probably thinks just as badly of me as all the rest of them do.

[fixthepast]

I can feel the guilt coming from him and it's good to feel. At least he isn't going to kill me now. Damn it, I'm going to have to be a lot more careful with him, I can't have him losing control like that and I can't lose control either.

He agrees to let me help him and I nod. "Good. First thing, you can't lose control like that again. If you had done that to anyone else, you would've been in that cell so fast your head would spin." I tell him evenly. I need a drink but I destroyed the bottles. Shit. Sitting down, I press the handkerchief back to my head. I'm surprised the agents didn't come barging in when the glass broke but I'm glad they didn't.

"Second thing. My family is off limits to talk about. You know enough, there's no reason to go into anything else." I will not talk about those bastards, not to him or anyone. "We can talk about how to make this work for you though, so you can get out there and do what you do best." And give me new playthings.

[heartofmurder]

"I didn't lose control. I knew exactly what I was doing," I glance up at him, then look back down. But he's right. If it had been anyone else, it would have been the end. I'm damn lucky he's not telling anyone. I hope. "You're the one that lost control. I was just reacting."

I give him a nod at the second thing, though. I was just doing that to push his buttons. When I want something, I'll use it again. Now, I'm just trying to deal with the situation at hand. "Okay. Lets talk about that, then." He knows now. He knows what I want. That I don't really want to be alone.