#283
Spent my day at a cousin's engagement, feels kinda surreal to see the people I (sort of) grew up with grow up and lead their own lives.... anyway, on the bus ride to the bride's house, a cousin of mine was fretting over her uni applications - she hadn't gotten her admissions letter yet. "Confirm never get in, it's already may!!!!"
SHOCK OF MY LIFE. I panicked and shouted, "HUH ITS MAY ALREADY????????"
Okay, May technically hasn't arrived yet, but WtfwtfwtwtfhowmanymoremonthstoAsiamnotreadywtftwtfwtfwtfwtf???? The days are flying by too fast!!!!!!!!!!! i am not ready!!!!!!!!!! I need more time!!!!!!!! Midyears!!!!!!!!!!! No more U grades!!!!!!!!!!! But how!!!!!!!
-cue mental breakdown-
I swear to God the ONLY thing i think about these days is how i haven't been studying enough. And even if i really try my best, i never feel satisfied because it's never enough imo. I have so much to catch up on... don't even know if 48 hours in a day is enough for me. It's really taking a toll on me, this whole study-or-die thing. Whenever I don't understand in lectures or tutorials and see everyone else looking like they know their shit i feel like stabbing myself over and over......school has seriously been such a drag there has never been a day where i don't contemplate on taking the day off. And every few weeks i decide to cry.
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! (although this feels like a really slow death, a la Romeo dying from the poison in the apothecary.......) I WILL SOLDIER ON, and so will everyone else reading this post! Chin up everyone <3 We can do this!