#188 Happiness Within ♡
I used to think that if i ever get into a relationship (i.e if i ever find someone who loves me for me) then all my insecurities and self-esteem issues would disappear. My shrewd logic was that if i can find someone who loves me then i'm finally worth something, finally worth loving. But today i realised that ultimately, being at peace with yourself has all got to do with YOU. It is your own personal issue - nothing can help solve it. The onus is on you to solve your own shit. Partly because I realised i am already seventeen and it is pretty pathetic to still be moping about your life. Wgt to be sad?!?!?
Used to complain about how i'm always someone's wing girl/wing man, how i'm always being solicited for advice, how i'm constantly brozoned etc but whenever I read things like these:
I wonder, "why did i even complain?"
Instead i should be grateful that people trust me enough to confide in me, that they regard me highly enough to seek my advice, that I do have a special skill (in getting people tgt - i think i have helped produce 4 couples already), that at least they're comfortable enough with me to 'bro' me. So no more grumbling about being forever alone, because "dance with God and he'll let the perfect man cut in". Also because I am a strong independent black lady who don't need no man HAHAHAH but really, it's time for me to love myself first.
I love this optimistic asyikin! I guess it's because i'm surrounding myself with positivity and happiness. The other reason for this sudden burst of good vibes is due to a great night out with my naddy baby; she really helped me put a lot of things into perspective and i am so very thankful for her. Honestly i think i'm a very lucky girl, i have recieved so much - great friends and the best family ever, even if i'm really undeserving. Alhamdulillah :)