hi i was here
woke up today and had this overwhelming feeling of missing the hubs cos he had already left the house for his baking lesson and wouldn't be home til in the evening.
it was such a s t r a n g e feeling... so much so that it almost made me anxious but i felt better after divulging how i felt to the hubs. i suppose the waking up alone struck me harder than usual because we've been spending so much time together this past year that being apart seems almost foreign.
I know... that makes me sound really co-dependent right? You know, after being with someone who goes all out to look after me in all areas of my life, I would be lying if I didn't rely on him more than I should. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing but boy, would the past me be so ashamed of this.
I still remember how hyper-independent I used to be... I suppose I chose to put my masculine energy before my fem energy and didn't know any better? I never knew what it felt like to be looked after not only emotionally/mentally but also physically... I've learned that initiative is so undeniably sexy in a partner.
anyway, I came across this tik tok today talking about how to tell whether a person is meant for you or whether you should keep that person around...
'ask yourself how you feel after the person has left' 'is it a positive or negative energy' 'do you feel enlightened or drained after meeting'
that really stuck with me. be selfish with your energy. always.