She's saying goodbye.
"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again, after moments or lifetimes, and that is certain for those who are friends."
- Richard Bach
This is so hard for me to say. _fleur's latest post gave me the inspiration to finally log out for good. Yes, for good. I tried a hiatus, but I can't stop refreshing my friends list, and frankly, this place just isn't doing much good for me.
I can rant, and I can rave, and I can laugh or cry. Before Livejournal, I had no real place to do that. That's just one of the things you all have given me. I've grown so much during the time I've been here, I'm sure you've seen it. But all good things must come to an end, and this is the right time for me. Livejournal is an experience I'll never forget, even when I'm old and can't remember anything else about my early teenage years. I just feel I've gotten all I can out of it, and I want to leave on a happy note.
Someone said it best when they said: "The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." I may have lost touch with most of you, and even ruined some friendships along the way, but I will always be here if you ever want to talk to me. You know where to reach me, and about 5 of you even have my phone number.
"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone." I would not have made it through last year without most of you. All of you, really, because you all supported me in different ways. You are what helped me to grow. You were there on the day I realized I could make it through, and you were there on the days I thought for sure that I couldn't. And you stuck by me through all of it, something I can never repay you for. I love you all so much, and some of you probably don't know it.
It will be so hard to leave this behind, but I know that I have to. Icons and communities and comments may not matter, but don't you ever forget how much you do. You all matter to me in your own way - those I talk to constantly, those I comment on occasionally, and even those who I've never spoken to once outside of our journals. You're the best group of people I'll probably ever meet.
I am so unbelievably thankful for you all. It's hard to write this post now, especially considering the event coming up next week (we're putting the gravestone on my grandmother's grave). But then I know that it'd be hard to write at any time, so I'll get through the upcoming events without making a post. I'll definitely be calling a few of you, and I'll still be on AIM, so it's not like you'll lose all contact with me. It's just my time to go.
Before this gets too sappy, I'll end it here. I have so much more to say, but I don't want to waste your time or make this post into one big cliché. I'll see you when I see you. Please don't forget me. As selfish as that sounds, I want to be remembered, if only as the girl who selfishly left Livejournal to get a life.