second step up.
[the sound of various suitcases being kicked, shoved, and otherwise abused can be heard in the background]
Where the fuck did all this shit come from? And why is it right next to MY room--?!
I can barely get down the hall halfway before I run into all this crap! There's no way there are this many people on this piece-of-junk ship -- and even if there were, the crew could at least find a place to put unimportant peoples' shit other than in my personal space! I like to be able to, oh, you know. Get from place to place without stumbling over some dirty whore's half-used shampoo bottle.
[said shampoo bottle is thrown roughly at an unfortunate passing crew member]
Yeah, that's right, you filthy bitch. Clean faster.
And get me a bowl of that ramen from upstairs while you're at it. I'm starving. If you forget the chopsticks I'll kill you.