merry fucking christmas
sidenote: LJ has changed a lot since i used to use it...like its kinda cool now!! lol
anyways....
wow i havent been this pissed in a really long time. like i am the kind of pissed that actually hurts!!! i just cant take shit anymore. like no one has any idea!!! i am sick of whining and crying about it so i am just going to be pissed. i wanted a cigerette so bad tonight!!! like wow!!! it would of helped to calm me down. but i just drove and rapped with eminem!! and by the time i pulled into my driveway i was hurting. i had to take a few seconds to just breathe to make sure i was okay. i dont think i am okay tho!! i am actually REALLY fucked up. and you know the worst part about it...there is NOTHING i can do about it. my life just sucks right now and i just have to live with it. and i know that someone is going to tell me that there are so many people that have it so much worse then me. but frankly right now, fuck them. there is not many times that i would say that, but you know what, i dont care right now. god i am in such a bad fucking mood. but at the moment i dont feel like i have anything to be happy about. i dont have anywhere to go that i can be happy. do you have any idea how much that hurts?!? there is no where i can go to just run away from everything and just be genuily happy, no matter where i am there is something that is going wrong!!! i am not sure how much more of this shit i can take to tell you the truth. and the times that i think i am happy, something happens to FUCK it up!! and usually it is my fault! nothing i do anymore is right. and im not even kidding NOTHING! whatever i dont think that anyone is really going to understand this, or anyone is going to read this for that matter!
whatever, i will be okay, i am always okay, or at least i can find a way to make myself appear that i am okay =) <--look that is me, being happy!!
god i wish i didnt give those parliments to adam!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyways....
wow i havent been this pissed in a really long time. like i am the kind of pissed that actually hurts!!! i just cant take shit anymore. like no one has any idea!!! i am sick of whining and crying about it so i am just going to be pissed. i wanted a cigerette so bad tonight!!! like wow!!! it would of helped to calm me down. but i just drove and rapped with eminem!! and by the time i pulled into my driveway i was hurting. i had to take a few seconds to just breathe to make sure i was okay. i dont think i am okay tho!! i am actually REALLY fucked up. and you know the worst part about it...there is NOTHING i can do about it. my life just sucks right now and i just have to live with it. and i know that someone is going to tell me that there are so many people that have it so much worse then me. but frankly right now, fuck them. there is not many times that i would say that, but you know what, i dont care right now. god i am in such a bad fucking mood. but at the moment i dont feel like i have anything to be happy about. i dont have anywhere to go that i can be happy. do you have any idea how much that hurts?!? there is no where i can go to just run away from everything and just be genuily happy, no matter where i am there is something that is going wrong!!! i am not sure how much more of this shit i can take to tell you the truth. and the times that i think i am happy, something happens to FUCK it up!! and usually it is my fault! nothing i do anymore is right. and im not even kidding NOTHING! whatever i dont think that anyone is really going to understand this, or anyone is going to read this for that matter!
whatever, i will be okay, i am always okay, or at least i can find a way to make myself appear that i am okay =) <--look that is me, being happy!!
god i wish i didnt give those parliments to adam!!!!!!!!!!!!