[Fic] Who Has to Know?
Title: Who Has to Know?
Characters/Pairings: USUK, mentions of Canada.
Word Count: 1,414
Rating/Warnings: PG, hand holding, high school AU.
Summary: At his band's performance in a bar, Arthur sings a song that makes Alfred think about there (currently secret) relationship a little too much.
Alfred sat in a corner of the bar out of the way of the other patrons, nursing his almost empty beer. Normally he didn’t drink like this, yes he had a fake ID, but underage drinking wasn’t his thing, even if all his friends did it, but Arthur was playing at this bar tonight, and whenever Arthur was playing, Alfred always preferred to pay attention to him.
The band had played for about two hours, took a break, and played for another few hours. It was getting close to one in the morning, and Alfred figured they had only another song or two before they were done.
“Thank you very much,” Arthur said to the few patrons who were still there and paying attention, “We’re going to play one last song for you tonight, for a certain someone. You know who you are.”
Alfred sat up a little straighter as the band played the opening chords, waiting until Arthur came in with the lyrics.
“Let me know that I’ve done wrong,
When I’ve known this all along.
I go around a time or two,
Just to waste my time with you.”
Oh. Well. Yes, Alfred knew this song. And he knew why Arthur would sing it.
“Tell me all that you’ve thrown away,
Find out games you don’t want to play.
You are, the only one that needs to know.”
They had been secretly dating for a little over a year now. Alfred had been insisting they keep it secret, not because he was ashamed of Arthur or anything, to be honest he was in love with him, but because his parents still didn’t know he was gay, and he wasn’t sure how they’d react. They’d kicked Matthew out after they found the weed and the alcohol and the condoms; what would they do when they found out there other son was a homo?
“I’ll keep you my dirty little secret.
Don’t tell anyone or you’ll be just another regret.
My dirty little secret,
Who has to know?”
Arthur had confronted him about it the other night. He was tired of hiding their relationship, and Alfred understood, but he still didn’t want to confront his parents about it just yet, and explained that to Arthur. He had called Alfred a few choice names and stormed out. They’d forgiven each other the next day, but the issue still remained unresolved.
Arthur was clearly singing this song as a response to their argument, but what did he mean by it?
“When we live such fragile lives,
It’s the best way we survive.”
That sounded good. It obviously meant that Arthur understood Alfred’s predicament, that in order for his relationship with his family to survive, because it was so fragile, they needed to keep it a secret.
“I go around a time or two,
Just to waste my time with you.”
Okay, not so positive. Alfred loved Arthur, and he thought the feeling was mutual. He didn’t like to think that they were just wasting time with each other. Maybe Arthur was fed up with the secret keeping.
“Tell me all that you’ve thrown away,
Find out games you don’t want to play.
You are, the only one that needs to know.”
Well he’s already told Arthur everything he’d be throwing away if they were exposed. Was that his ultimatum? Was Arthur making him choose between him and his family? But no, they’re the only ones that need to know. So, Arthur’s okay with it staying secret?
Perhaps Alfred was thinking about this too hard.
“Who has to know?
The way she feels inside,
These thoughts I can’t deny.”
So, Arthur is considering Alfred’s feelings on the matter. That’s good. That means he might be okay with it.
“These sleeping dogs won’t lie,
And now I try to lie.
It’s eating me apart.
Trace this life back.”
Or not. Not if lying about their relationship is tearing him apart so much that he’d rather…just not. Is that what that last line meant?
“I’ll keep you my dirty little secret.
Don’t tell anyone or you’ll be just another regret.”
Yes, he’ll keep them a secret, but is that all Alfred is to him? A regret? That’s a depressing thought.
“My dirty little secret.
Dirty little secret.
Dirty little secret.
Who has to know?”
And it ends on a ‘who has to know,’ which Alfred has taken to mean, “Yes Alfred, I agree to keep our relationship a secret, because I love and respect you and understand your situation.” So, that’s good, right?
He was going to have to talk to Arthur.
Alfred waited outside the bar after it closed for Arthur. He had been busy cleaning up with the rest of the band, as he usually did, and usually Alfred would have left by now. Arthur understood, and he didn’t mind as long as he saw that Alfred was there watching him at some point in the night.
It was just after 1:30 when Arthur finally came out. He spotted Alfred, smiled, and started walking, guitar slung over his shoulder. Alfred jogged a bit to catch up to him and then fell back so they were walking at the same pace.
“Thank you for coming,” Arthur said, “I know you’re not as comfortable in those establishments as you are at parties, but I appreciate it.”
“It’s no problem, I’m happy to do it,” he scratched the back of his head, a nervous habit he’d had since childhood, and Arthur immediately took notice, “So, about that last song you sang…what did you mean by it?”
He raised an eyebrow, “What did I mean by it?”
“Yeah, because I’ve been going back and forth in my head, does he want this,” Alfred pointed between the two of them to indicate what he meant, “to stay secret or does he want us to come out with it an damn the consequences?”
“Oh,” Alfred noticed a blush starting to creep up on Arthur’s face, “That song…wasn’t about you. Or us. Francis, you know, the drummer? He finally mastered it on Rock Band the other day, so we were just poking fun at him.”
“Oh. I see,” he was just over thinking it. He had a habit of doing that whenever Arthur was involved, maybe because, after relationship after relationship with girls failing, he just wanted to make sure he got it right with Arthur, “I was just being silly then.”
“But, uh,” Arthur cleared his throat, “I have something I would like to, say about that. If you don’t mind.”
“Oh, uh, I-I guess we could…” So this was it. This was the part where Arthur told him he was tired of living a lie and gave him the ultimatum: him or his family? Alfred was only a junior in high school; he wasn’t ready for this kind of responsibility yet.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” Well that was promising. Alfred snuck a glance at Arthur and saw him looking at the pavement, “I guess I’m just so used to my parents not caring about my sexuality I didn’t take into account that yours would,” he looked up into Alfred’s eyes as he said, “It’s your life and they’re your parents. You should tell them when you’re ready to, not because I’m pressuring you.”
Alfred felt the smile spread across his face and saw Arthur’s blush deepen just a little, “Thanks Arthur. That really means a lot to me.”
“Yes, well,” he cleared his throat and looked away again, “I’ve already talked about it with my parents, and they’ve agreed that you can stay with us if your parents do kick you out when tell them, so at the very least you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Ah well that’s good,” Alfred glanced down at Arthur’s hand swinging freely between them, “thanks for that too.”
Arthur nodded and continued staring ahead of him. Alfred was feeling a little bolder after that and reached over and grabbed his hand, swinging them slightly as the continued walking down the dark street. Arthur glanced at their intertwined hands briefly, but didn’t say anything, instead letting the small smile on his face do the talking.
He’d tell his parents eventually, he was sure. Right now he’d take baby steps, slowly coming to terms with himself, with them. And maybe by then, his parents will be more open to the idea of a gay son.
Until then, it was their secret. Who had to know?
Characters/Pairings: USUK, mentions of Canada.
Word Count: 1,414
Rating/Warnings: PG, hand holding, high school AU.
Summary: At his band's performance in a bar, Arthur sings a song that makes Alfred think about there (currently secret) relationship a little too much.
Alfred sat in a corner of the bar out of the way of the other patrons, nursing his almost empty beer. Normally he didn’t drink like this, yes he had a fake ID, but underage drinking wasn’t his thing, even if all his friends did it, but Arthur was playing at this bar tonight, and whenever Arthur was playing, Alfred always preferred to pay attention to him.
The band had played for about two hours, took a break, and played for another few hours. It was getting close to one in the morning, and Alfred figured they had only another song or two before they were done.
“Thank you very much,” Arthur said to the few patrons who were still there and paying attention, “We’re going to play one last song for you tonight, for a certain someone. You know who you are.”
Alfred sat up a little straighter as the band played the opening chords, waiting until Arthur came in with the lyrics.
“Let me know that I’ve done wrong,
When I’ve known this all along.
I go around a time or two,
Just to waste my time with you.”
Oh. Well. Yes, Alfred knew this song. And he knew why Arthur would sing it.
“Tell me all that you’ve thrown away,
Find out games you don’t want to play.
You are, the only one that needs to know.”
They had been secretly dating for a little over a year now. Alfred had been insisting they keep it secret, not because he was ashamed of Arthur or anything, to be honest he was in love with him, but because his parents still didn’t know he was gay, and he wasn’t sure how they’d react. They’d kicked Matthew out after they found the weed and the alcohol and the condoms; what would they do when they found out there other son was a homo?
“I’ll keep you my dirty little secret.
Don’t tell anyone or you’ll be just another regret.
My dirty little secret,
Who has to know?”
Arthur had confronted him about it the other night. He was tired of hiding their relationship, and Alfred understood, but he still didn’t want to confront his parents about it just yet, and explained that to Arthur. He had called Alfred a few choice names and stormed out. They’d forgiven each other the next day, but the issue still remained unresolved.
Arthur was clearly singing this song as a response to their argument, but what did he mean by it?
“When we live such fragile lives,
It’s the best way we survive.”
That sounded good. It obviously meant that Arthur understood Alfred’s predicament, that in order for his relationship with his family to survive, because it was so fragile, they needed to keep it a secret.
“I go around a time or two,
Just to waste my time with you.”
Okay, not so positive. Alfred loved Arthur, and he thought the feeling was mutual. He didn’t like to think that they were just wasting time with each other. Maybe Arthur was fed up with the secret keeping.
“Tell me all that you’ve thrown away,
Find out games you don’t want to play.
You are, the only one that needs to know.”
Well he’s already told Arthur everything he’d be throwing away if they were exposed. Was that his ultimatum? Was Arthur making him choose between him and his family? But no, they’re the only ones that need to know. So, Arthur’s okay with it staying secret?
Perhaps Alfred was thinking about this too hard.
“Who has to know?
The way she feels inside,
These thoughts I can’t deny.”
So, Arthur is considering Alfred’s feelings on the matter. That’s good. That means he might be okay with it.
“These sleeping dogs won’t lie,
And now I try to lie.
It’s eating me apart.
Trace this life back.”
Or not. Not if lying about their relationship is tearing him apart so much that he’d rather…just not. Is that what that last line meant?
“I’ll keep you my dirty little secret.
Don’t tell anyone or you’ll be just another regret.”
Yes, he’ll keep them a secret, but is that all Alfred is to him? A regret? That’s a depressing thought.
“My dirty little secret.
Dirty little secret.
Dirty little secret.
Who has to know?”
And it ends on a ‘who has to know,’ which Alfred has taken to mean, “Yes Alfred, I agree to keep our relationship a secret, because I love and respect you and understand your situation.” So, that’s good, right?
He was going to have to talk to Arthur.
Alfred waited outside the bar after it closed for Arthur. He had been busy cleaning up with the rest of the band, as he usually did, and usually Alfred would have left by now. Arthur understood, and he didn’t mind as long as he saw that Alfred was there watching him at some point in the night.
It was just after 1:30 when Arthur finally came out. He spotted Alfred, smiled, and started walking, guitar slung over his shoulder. Alfred jogged a bit to catch up to him and then fell back so they were walking at the same pace.
“Thank you for coming,” Arthur said, “I know you’re not as comfortable in those establishments as you are at parties, but I appreciate it.”
“It’s no problem, I’m happy to do it,” he scratched the back of his head, a nervous habit he’d had since childhood, and Arthur immediately took notice, “So, about that last song you sang…what did you mean by it?”
He raised an eyebrow, “What did I mean by it?”
“Yeah, because I’ve been going back and forth in my head, does he want this,” Alfred pointed between the two of them to indicate what he meant, “to stay secret or does he want us to come out with it an damn the consequences?”
“Oh,” Alfred noticed a blush starting to creep up on Arthur’s face, “That song…wasn’t about you. Or us. Francis, you know, the drummer? He finally mastered it on Rock Band the other day, so we were just poking fun at him.”
“Oh. I see,” he was just over thinking it. He had a habit of doing that whenever Arthur was involved, maybe because, after relationship after relationship with girls failing, he just wanted to make sure he got it right with Arthur, “I was just being silly then.”
“But, uh,” Arthur cleared his throat, “I have something I would like to, say about that. If you don’t mind.”
“Oh, uh, I-I guess we could…” So this was it. This was the part where Arthur told him he was tired of living a lie and gave him the ultimatum: him or his family? Alfred was only a junior in high school; he wasn’t ready for this kind of responsibility yet.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” Well that was promising. Alfred snuck a glance at Arthur and saw him looking at the pavement, “I guess I’m just so used to my parents not caring about my sexuality I didn’t take into account that yours would,” he looked up into Alfred’s eyes as he said, “It’s your life and they’re your parents. You should tell them when you’re ready to, not because I’m pressuring you.”
Alfred felt the smile spread across his face and saw Arthur’s blush deepen just a little, “Thanks Arthur. That really means a lot to me.”
“Yes, well,” he cleared his throat and looked away again, “I’ve already talked about it with my parents, and they’ve agreed that you can stay with us if your parents do kick you out when tell them, so at the very least you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Ah well that’s good,” Alfred glanced down at Arthur’s hand swinging freely between them, “thanks for that too.”
Arthur nodded and continued staring ahead of him. Alfred was feeling a little bolder after that and reached over and grabbed his hand, swinging them slightly as the continued walking down the dark street. Arthur glanced at their intertwined hands briefly, but didn’t say anything, instead letting the small smile on his face do the talking.
He’d tell his parents eventually, he was sure. Right now he’d take baby steps, slowly coming to terms with himself, with them. And maybe by then, his parents will be more open to the idea of a gay son.
Until then, it was their secret. Who had to know?