Hetalia Time!
The American Presidency: About America and his 43 leaders. I have all three up on fanfiction already, and the fourth one's...coming. Eventually. Have patience please.
First President: George Washington
Word Count: 1,359
A teenaged America wandered around the landscape, hatchet in hand, quite upset with his caretaker.
“Stupid England…of course I know how to use a hatchet…” as if to prove his point, he chucked it at the nearest object, which at the moment happened to be a cherry tree. It unexpectedly cut all the way through and toppled to the ground.
“That’s not good…England’s gonna kill me…” the small nation muttered aloud.
“Not if my father gets to you first.” A young boy that America hadn’t noticed before said as he approached. “He’s not going to like that very much. It was his favorite tree…”
“I’m sorry!” he quickly apologized. The last thing he needed at this point in his young (for a nation) life was for his citizens to be after his head. “It was an accident! I really didn’t mean to cut down your tree!”
“Then why were you wandering around our property with a hatchet?”
“It’s En-I mean, Arthur’s fault! He’s my caretaker.” America explained. “Sometimes he just gets me so frustrated and I just need to get out and…uh, this isn’t really helping, is it?” he asked at the boy’s blank look.
“No. If anything, now you just look even guiltier.”
“I’m sorry. Really, I didn’t mean it.” He looked directly into the boy’s eyes and pleaded his case from the very bottom of his heart. “I’ll make it up to you and your father somehow.”
The boy returned his gaze, searching the fledgling nation for some kind of conformation in his gaze. After a while he sighed and said, “Well, I’d forgive you. Unfortunately for you, it’s not up to me…”
As if on cue, an irate man appeared. “What have you done to my tree you useless brat!” He roared at America’s face. The blonde guiltily hid his hatchet behind his back and stared at the ground attempting to form some kind of coherent apology when he felt someone take the tool of destruction from his hand.
“Father, I cannot tell a lie,” he heard the boy say. “I did it with my little hatchet.”
This stunned the man into silence as he slowly turned to face his son. “George…you…what? Why?”
“I’m sorry Father. I was just practicing a little. I didn’t actually think I’d be able to do any damage. Mr. uh-”
“Jones.” America supplied. “Alfred Jones.”
“Mr. Jones here heard the noise and came to see what happened. He is completely guiltless in this matter.”
“Is that so?” The man shot another look at the nation before turning to address his son. “George, I appreciate your honesty. Really though, you should know better.”
“I know. I am sorry, Father.”
The man took the hatchet from him. “I can’t really punish your honesty, but I’m going to have to take your hatchet away.” He looked mournfully at the tree. “I guess we can use it for firewood. Bring it in with you.” He turned and left George and America alone.
George sighed and went to gather up the tree to haul back to his house.
“Um…” America uncharacteristically stuttered. “Thanks for that.”
“It’s no problem.” He grabbed the tree and struggled to drag it up the slope. America suddenly picked the tree up in his arms.
“You don’t have to do that. I can take care of it myself.”
“No, I should. It’s my fault anyway…where does this go?”
George led America to his house and directed him to the woodpile in the back with the rest of the firewood.
“I’ll cut it up later.” He explained.
The nation, sweating slightly from the excursion, sat down on the woodpile to rest for a bit. As he did so, the young boy studied him.
“You’re…not like everyone else.” He stated after a while. America just smirked.
“I could say the same about you. Most people would have just turned me in! Thanks for that again, uh…what was your name again?”
“George. George Washington.” He shrugged. “And really, it was nothing.”
“Ah, Arthur keeps telling me I’m too reckless! I would have been in so much trouble if he found out, so you really helped me out of that pinch there.”
“I suppose.” George sat down next to him. “I couldn’t just leave you there like that though. Just something about your face made me want to defend you I suppose.” A comfortable silence passed over them.
After a while America jumped down from the woodpile and started heading back. “It was nice meeting you George.”
“Nice meeting you too…what was your name again?” the boy asked, blushing.
“Alfred Jones.” The blonde nation stopped in his tracks and stared out at the horizon.
England had warned him about telling people his real name. It was improper and for his own safety, as well as that of his citizens, it was better if they didn’t know who he really was. Only the higher ups in his government were supposed to know, and be his, he meant England’s. America knew about all of this, but he couldn’t help trusting this kid, despite how young he was, despite how clearly not-a-nation or a member of the English court or Parliament as he was.
“But…” he said after a while, “you can call me America.”
***
Years went by, wars were fought, taxes were raised, rebellions happened. America went from shoving tea in the harbor just to piss England off, to being yelled at by Prussia at Valley Forge in the cold, to finally cornering England, with France’s help, in Yorktown. Somehow, through all of this, George was right by his side, fighting for his independence almost as much as America himself was. Depending on who you asked, maybe even a little more.
So when it finally came down to picking a leader for the new United States of America, there was only one man he wanted for the job.
“C’mon George.” The nation looked at his General with puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
“I said no. I don’t want to lead this country! I’m not the right man for the job.”
“What are you talking about? You’re perfect! They voted unanimously. That means they all want you in office, you know.”
“I know what unanimously means, Alfred. I’m turning it down, they can pick someone better.”
“No they can’t, and you know it.” George glared at his friend, who glared just as intensely back. “Face it Georgie, you could declare yourself the new King of America and make your first order of business to raise taxes again and they would let you.”
“Don’t call me that!” he sighed. “And I don’t want to be king.”
“Good, because I don’t want a king.”
“I’m no king. I’m no ruler. I can’t…I’m sorry, America. You can find someone better.”
“No I can’t.” America stood up and smacked his hands on the table. “I don’t want a king, and I don’t need a ruler. What I do need is a leader, and you’ve already proven yourself more than qualified at that buy, you know, beating the English Empire. You are the right man for the job and I refuse to accept any one else.”
George looked at him contemplatively for a few moments before turning his head and looking at the wall. “You’re very stubborn, you know.”
“It’s one of my better qualities.”
The General chuckled before turning to face his nation. “Alright, you win.”
“Really?” America asked excitedly. “You’ll do it?”
“Yes, you wore me down: I’ll be your fist President.”
“Yes!” He rushed over and hugged his new President. “You won’t regret, George. This’ll be awesome!”
“Only…for a few years though…”
“Of course. Can’t have the same guy in charge forever.”
“America…I can’t breathe…”
“Sorry.” He let the man go and waited while he caught his breath. “So, Mr. President, are you ready lead America?”
George Washington was the first president of the United States of America. He served in office from 1789 until 1797, setting the two-term standard most presidents would follow. So far he is the only Independent elected to the presidency. His farewell address is probably one of the most influential statements on political values in America.
Second President: John Adams
Word Count: 1,142
America had first met John Adams at the Congressional Congress. Since he was one of the guys who pushed for his independence since the beginning, the nation considered him a good guy. Wasn’t much of a fighter, but thinking was good to from time to time.
When the man became his boss after George was done, America felt it was a good choice. Good enough for the situation anyway.
Tommy wasn’t too happy about being stuck as Vice though.
“Mr. Jones…” one of the attendants approached him shakily. “They’re fighting again…”
America sighed and ran off to find his bosses before they decide to kill each other.
“Clearly you’re just doing this to undermine my authority!” the blonde heard Jefferson shouting from around the corner.
“I don’t need to undermine your authority, Vice, or did you forget-”
“Three votes Adams! Nothing to write home about!”
“Says the guy who lost.”
“Just wait until 1800!”
“Yes, my re-election will be splendid I’m certain.”
“You…”
America showed up just before this went to blows. “Hey guys, what’s new?”
“America!” Jefferson turned to face the nation and shoved several documents under his nose. “Have you seen the new laws the President over here is passing?”
He took the papers from the irate man and quickly looked them over. “The Naturalization Act*…does this even have a purpose?”
“Just to, you know, steal Republican votes and all that.”
“If you had your way you’d make King George a citizen!”
“Stop it.” America muttered as he looked at the next one. “The Aliens Acts*…whoa, wait a minute, can you do this? Why would you do this…I was kinda created by immigrants, or did you forget that?”
“I’m not actually going to deport anyone,” Adams defended. “It’s just for security reasons…just in case something does happen and someone needs to get deported.”
Jefferson muttered something that sounded vaguely like “stealing votes” and “abusing authority” but America ignored it and looked at the last one.
“The Sedition Act*…” his face blanched. “Hey! You can’t do that!”
“See? Told you.” Jefferson smirked.
“I know it looks bad…”
“It’s violating the First Amendment! You helped write the First Amendment!”
“It’s not like I’d ever enforce it.”
“Then why pass it?” The confused nation asked.
“So my party doesn’t get to tell him what an ass he’s being.”
“Vice, why are you trying to make this personal?”
“You’re the one making it personal!”
“Stop it. Boss you didn’t actually sign these did you?”
“I…well…I don’t like them either you know…”
“Then why did you sign them?!” Jefferson raged.
“I, well…party pressure…”
“Bull. Half the Federalists aren’t even talking to you anymore.”
“And I suppose you have a better idea then?”
“As a matter of fact…”
“I don’t wanna fight England again.” America complained. “I don’t wanna fight France either. That’s why I’m staying out of their war.”
“And you’re doing such a good job with that!”
Jefferson regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth as America a look akin to that of a kicked puppy.
“Alfred, I sorry. I overacted and I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Maybe you should go cool off Tommy.” Jefferson nodded and left without another word.
“Did you talk to France again?” Adams asked as soon as his Vice President was gone.
“Yeah…he’s still stopping ships and being annoying.”
“Figures.” The President took seat behind his desk and sighed. “Did you know it would be this tedious?” he asked suddenly.
“You know I couldn’t help France with his revolution, you were there…”
“Not that.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Being a nation? When you first wanted independence?”
“No.” America said truthfully. “I knew it wouldn’t be easy, although I didn’t think I’d have this many problems so soon. But,” he added, “if you’re asking if I’d rather go back being England’s voiceless colony, then that, Boss, is a very prominent ‘No way.’”
His boss smirked and it reminded America of the Adams he first met that would fight for him with all he had. “Me neither.”
“We’ll get this all settled out. He may be acting stupid right now, but France doesn’t want a fight anymore than I do.”
“We should prepare for war anyway…just in case.” Adams sat up and looked through some papers on his desk. “That means building up the navy some more and raising taxes again. You okay with that?”
“Whatever you think is best, Boss. But, um…” he waved the documents Jefferson handed him.
“If I promise not to use them unless absolutely necessary will you stop making that face that makes me feel like I kicked your puppy?”
“I guess, but in return you’ve gotta stop caving.”
“Deal.”
***
1800 eventually rolled around, and America knew as soon as Jefferson recruited Aaron Burr to help him with his campaign that he would be getting a new boss soon.
Imminent defeated didn’t stop Adams from trying to fix things with France. He kept sending America back to Paris despite the lack of results. Persistence proved to work, and in the end France’s new boss, Napoleon or something like that, decided petty fights with America were not the best course of action while fighting a war with the British Empire. A peaceful agreement was eventually reached between France and America without the need for an actual battle.
This resolution didn’t come fast enough to help Adams swing the voters to his favor and both he and America knew it.
“Jefferson’s an ass, but he’s a good man.” He told America one night. “You should be fine with him as your boss.” He said this more to himself than the nation.
“I know.” America responded anyway.
“I’m putting John Marshall in as Chief Justice.”
“You sure? It’s like three days before you leave office.”
His boss smirked. “Wouldn’t want the new guy to think that this is an easy job, now would I? Got to keep him on his toes after all.”
America laughed despite himself. “You’re really an evil genius aren’t you? I am going to miss you, for what it’s worth.”
“For what it’s worth, I appreciate it.” A silence fell over the room. “I’ve been thinking,” Adams said after a while, “what life as a private citizen would be like?”
“I dunno. You might like it, but it’s not really for me.”
“I doubt it would be.” He turned and looked the young nation in the eyes. “You are going to be a strong nation, America. One of the best too. I can feel it.”
America was touched beyond words. Eventually he managed to say, “Thanks…Boss.”
***
John Adams was the second President of the United States. He served only one term from 1797 to 1801. He was also the first president to live in what would become the White House, though it was still incomplete at the time.
*Naturalization Act made it so that one had to be living in America for 14 years in order to gain citizenship. The Alien Friends Act and Alien Enemies Act gave the president the right to deport any foriegner who he felt was a danger to the country. The Sedition Act allowed punishment for criticizing the Federal government.
Third President: Thomas Jefferson
Word Count: 4,362
Jefferson and America went way back, after all, the guy wrote the Declaration of Independence for him and everything. He also got to know him as Vice President, so it wasn’t all that shocking when his first actions as President of the United States was to attempt to get rid of everything the previous guy did.
Decreasing the military and completely scraping the Navy caused the young nation to raise an eyebrow, but Jefferson explained that it was eating up the republic’s resources and besides, if they ever were attacked then citizen soldiers would be able to do the job just like they did during the revolution. He did, however create a Military Academy at West Point and the Army Corps of Engineers, because every army needs good leaders, so America figured it was fine.
Because of things like that, the Federalists were losing power, while the Republicans were starting to split, but America wasn’t really paying attention to that, as he spent most of his time away from home.
“America,” Jefferson had asked him one day, “I need you to go talk to France. You can take Monroe and Livingston with you if you want.”
“But France is busy fighting with something. He probably won’t talk to me.”
“It’s not about talking. Remember the Louisiana Territory?”
“You mean the giant piece of not-me out West?”
“The very same. I think it’s about time you grew a little, if you know what I’m saying.”
“I don’t think France is just going to give me Louisiana that easily…”
“He’s almost broke right now, so I’m sure we can buy it off him. Besides just picture it! The untamed west, a frontier of opportunities! Who knows what could be out there, waiting to be found!”
It did sound very appealing, and the whole doubling in size thing was always a plus, so the next day America, James Madison, and Robert Livingston boarded a ship heading for Paris.
***
“You want what now?” Napoleon was apparently busy with some stuff, but France and some other French guy named Talleyrand agreed to meet with them.
“The Louisiana Territory,” America stated. “See I figured you’re not using it and I want it and you’re broke so you’d sell.”
France and the representative gave each other a look that the younger nation couldn’t interpret before France wrote a number on a piece of paper and slid it across the table to the Americans.
“Zat amount will suffice for us.” America opened the paper with Madison and Livingston looking over his shoulder to reveal the number 15,000,000.
“Is this in dollars or francs?” America was too busying gawking at the possibility that this might actually happen to figure out who asked that, but he thought it was Livingston.
“Dollars, of course,” someone with a French accent replied. “We can’t trust Americans to be able to deal in any other currency.”
America figured he probably should have been insulted, but right now he didn’t care. “We’d like to accept the offer-”
“But,” Madison interrupted, “we should check with Congress first.”
The nation was disappointed, but realized the sense in what he said. He wasn’t sure if Jefferson even had the constitutional power to buy land.
“Very well, you may take your time,” France leaned back and took a sip of wine. “’Owever, I ‘ear Angleterre iz looking for some more territory on ze American continent…”
The three Americans looked at each other and gave a slight nod before turning back to their French hosts.
“France, I believe we have a deal.”
***
“This is so exciting!” America practically squealed when he was back in Washington.
“I know.” Jefferson was as excited as he was, but he managed to keep himself better composed about it. “We just managed to double in size! There’s practically nothing stopping us from going all the way to the Pacific at this rate!”
“Well, maybe a little. No one knows what’s out there after all.”
“Not to worry. You know Meriwether Lewis, right?”
“Um,” America searched his memory (Jefferson was bringing in so many new people) before a face did pop into his mind, “Yeah kinda.”
“Well he and William Clark are going to lead an expedition in order to map out the area and see who or what is there. Isn’t that great?”
“Oh. Yeah. Really great.” The young nation immediately turned away from his boss.
“…is something wrong?”
“No no, it’s fine. We need to know what’s there so we should send people. It’s fine.”
“Alfred,” the use of his human name caused the blonde to look up, “Lewis talked to me this morning. Apparently one of the men backed out. Do you want to join the expedition?”
His blue eyes lit up instantaneously. “Can I? Really?”
Jefferson chuckled at his enthusiasm. “Yes you can go. Lewis is in Elizabeth, Pennsylvania right now, getting a boat, so you can meet him there. Clark will join you at Clarksville, Indiana, and from there you’ll just keep heading west.”
America pulled the man into a giant bear hug. “Thank you thank you thank you! But will it be alright? I mean, me being away for so long…”
“Well my re-election’s pretty secure,”
“I wasn’t talking about that…”
He chuckled while pulling away from the nation. “I know. But still, right now we need to know what’s out there, so even if you’re away for a bit, it should be fine.”
America nodded, grinning like a maniac. “I wonder what I should pack…”
“You need to write to me though. Every day.”
“But it won’t get to you for like a month. And I don’t think the post gets all the way out there, so you might just get like a hundred letters one day and then not hear anything for another month.”
“Well I need to make sure you’re not eaten by a buffalo or something.”
“I’m pretty sure they only eat grass. Oh, I get it,” his smile became more teasing, “you’re worried about me!”
“No. Well, maybe. What will happen to this country if you drop dead out there?”
“It’s going to take more than some untamed wilderness to finish me off. Don’t worry Tommy, I’ll be fine.”
“Don’t call me Tommy,” he sighed, “I suppose you will be though. But you still need to write.”
“Sure, I’ll tell you all about the epic adventures I’ll face!”
“Try to get some science and topography in there too, please…”
***
August 31, 1803
Dear Tommy,
Finally left Elizabeth. It shouldn’t take so long to build a boat. If they let me help it could’ve got done faster, but for some reason they wanted to do it themselves.
Lewis seems like a nice guy. Well, I knew that before, but that was more in boring government terms. Now that we’re going out to the unknown together, it’s more in adventure buddy terms. I wonder what Clark’s like…
We just passed Pittsburg, and I should probably mention we’re on the Monongahela River now.
Al
-
October 13, 1803
Dear Tommy,
Made it to Indiana and met up with Clark. He’s a pretty good guy too. You’ve picked a good team, so congrats for that.
Would report more, but there’s nothing to report.
Al
-
December 12, 1803
Dear Tommy,
Last night we made a camp on someplace called Gabaret Island just north of St. Louis. The sky was clear so we were able to see all of the stars so clearly. Lewis says that we should be able to see them even clearer the farther west we go.
We’re supposed to reach the eastern bank of the Mississippi bank tomorrow. I wish we could just get out there already…
Al
-
May 14, 1804
Dear Tommy,
Yeah sorry about not writing, just there was nothing to write home about. We’ve been stuck in Camp Dubois all winter, but we finally set out today. We’ll be stopping in St. Charles, Missouri in a few days.
Pacific Coast here we come!
Al
-
May 25, 1804
Dear Tommy,
Passed La Charrette today. Now we enter the real unknown.
We passed by Boone’s Settlement the other day, but he wasn’t there and Clark said that we had to keep moving.
Lewis says we should reach the Osage River by June. I hope he’s right.
Al
-
June 12, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We met some trappers today. One of them, Pierre Dorion apparently knew Clark’s brother, so he agreed to return to the Sioux camp with us and be our interpreter. I wonder if I should tell them who I am?
Al
-
June 29, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We reached Kaw Point a few days ago, which was really awesome, but the excitement didn’t last very long.
Last night Collins broke into the supplies and got drunk. Hall heard him, but ended up just having a drink instead, so we had our first trial in the new territory. Collins got 100 lashes while Hall got 50.
Hopefully there will be happier stories up ahead.
Al
-
July 4, 1804
Dear Tommy,
Happy Independence Day! Although it’s going to be long over by the time you get this…
We had a huge party since it’s my birthday, but fireworks are hard to come by out here in Independence Creek (like the name? It was my idea) so he had to do without them.
Lewis’s and Clark’s birthdays are in August. I wonder if I should get them something...
Al
-
July 21, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We reached the Platte River today. Lewis says that we’re now about 640 miles away from St. Louis. I didn’t realize we’d gotten that far, but he says we’ve still got a ways to go before we reach the Pacific.
We’re entering the Sioux territory now. I hope they don’t hate me…
Al
-
August 3, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We had our first official council today! The Oto and Missouri Indians showed up and we were able to hand out medals and exchange gifts and stuff. It was so much fun!
Reed said he left his knife back at one of the camps, so he’s going to go back tomorrow. He says he’ll catch up with us later, but you’ll probably see him again before I do.
Al
-
August 20, 1804
Dear Tommy,
Floyd died today. Apparently his appendix exploded or something, Lewis was trying to explain it to me but I didn’t really get it.
I hope we don’t lose anyone else. I don’t think I can stand it.
Al
-
August 30, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We had a friendly council with the Yakton Sioux today. A baby was born too, so Lewis wrapped it in a flag and declared it ‘an American.’ It was so cool you should have been there*.
Field managed to kill a bison last week. It was huge, but I could’ve eaten it by myself. Gass was elected to Sergeant a few days ago, so we had the first election on this side of the Mississippi.
Did you get any of our stuff yet?
Al
-
September 7, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We found a prairie dog! At least that’s what we’re calling it. It’s really cool. It was hard to catch though because it kept hiding underground whenever we got close. Reminds me of Italy for some reason…
We ended up catching it by pouring water on it. You should see. Actually, you will see it. We’re sending it back to you. Surprise! Did you get it yet?
I saw this weird prairie goat thing too. I’ll try to send it back to you if we catch it, but Clark says it’s too damn big.
Al
-
September 29, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We had an eventful week. First we met up with these Lakota Sioux who demanded one of the boats as toll in order to move up the river. I was ready to fight it out, but Lewis stopped me and reminded me that this was supposed to be a peaceful mission.
Later we met with the Teton Sioux. We exchanged gifts and stuff but we had some communication problems. We invited the chiefs back on the keelboats for some whiskey but they ended up getting drunk. We actually did have two armed confrontations with the Sioux, but I promise it wasn’t my fault. Mostly. No one got hurt though.
It gets cold pretty fast out here.
Al
-
October 11, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We passed the Grand River where the Arikara Indians live and we met this one trader who’s been living with them for 13 years! Can you believe that?
In another village we ran into this other trader from Quebec, but he doesn’t know Matt. I should stop assuming all Canadians know who he is.
Al
-
October 26, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We reached the Mandans and Hidatsas villages the other day. The Captains agreed to build Fort Mandan across the river and stay there for the winter. I don’t really want to stop but it has been getting really cold lately.
In other news we’ve hired Rene Jessaume, who’s lived with the Mandan for over 10 years, as our interpreter. Go us.
Time to start building that fort…
Al
-
November 4, 1804
Dear Tommy,
You probably won’t hear from me again until next year ‘cause we’re stuck here all winter.
Today we met this French-Canadian (who doesn’t know Francis or Matt) trapper named Toussaint Charbonneu who’s living among the Hidatsas with his two wives, Sacagawea and Little Otter. He and Sacagawea agreed to come with us, despite her pregnancy. It might not matter though, because we’re not leaving until spring.
Staying here might not be so bad though.
Al
-
February 11, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Sacagawea gave birth today. She let Lewis and me help with the delivery, even though I’m not sure I did much. Lewis ended up using crushed rattlesnake’s rattles from his stock that he’s being keeping to help speed the delivery up. Sounds crazy but it worked. We’re out of rattlesnake rattles though.
The baby’s name is Jean Baptiste, and he’s so cute. I call him Pompy though. He and his mom are sleeping now but I’m keeping an eye on them.
Al
-
April 7, 1805
Dear Tommy,
It’s finally warm enough to head out again, so we left Fort Mandan with six canoes and two pirogues. Clark says we might end up visiting it on the way back though.
Pompy seems to have taken a liking to me. He spends almost as much time with me as he does his mom. Sacagawea doesn’t mind at all and she lets me watch the kid as long as I’m not doing anything too dangerous. I think Clark is jealous.
Howard got a letter from his wife today. You’re probably too busy to write to me though. Not that I’m implying you’re my wife or anything.
Al
-
April 25, 1805
Dear Tommy,
We reached the Yellowstone River finally. Field and I went up river a bit to do some scouting and we saw a big horned sheep. We brought back its horns and are sending them to you. Did you get them yet?
Lewis thinks the area might be good to build some forts, but we don’t have time to build them now.
Al
-
May 14, 1805
Dear Tommy,
There was a storm today and it tipped one of the pirogues that were carrying our supplies, including Lewis’s and Clark’s journals. They would have been lost forever, but Sacagawea and I managed to jump in and save most of it.
The water out here is surprisingly cold. I should probably go out by the fire.
Al
-
April 29, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Lewis and I went out hunting today and we managed to kill a grizzly bear. It’s the first one we’ve managed to kill so far, but we can’t send it to you because we are going to eat it.
A few days ago we entered a new space of land that I wanted to call Montana, but Clark says I shouldn’t just randomly name spaces of land. Even if it’s technically mine now.
Al
-
May 8, 1805
Dear Tommy,
We found a river made of milk! Well, it’s not really made of milk, but it looks like it is, so we called it Milk River. The natives call it “a river which scolds all others.”
Pompy and I went out exploring the woods when we stopped the other day. We found a baby bear and where playing with it for a bit until it’s mom showed up and chased us away. Sacagawea wasn’t too happy about that. Mom’s can be so touchy.
Al
-
June 3, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Made it to the Marias River and set up Camp Deposit. The Missouri forks here, but since no one told us about the Marias, we don’t know which one is the Missouri so some of us went up the north fork while the others tried the south one. Most of us thought the Missouri went north, but the Captain’s thought it went south, so that’s where we went.
Al
-
June 14, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Yesterday Lewis and I went scouting ahead for a bit and found the Great Falls. They were huge so we’re positive that they couldn’t be anything else. This means we’re on the right track.
Lewis hasn’t been having a very good day. While we were out exploring the north side of the river, he got attacked by a bear, a tigercat, and some bison. I’m still not sure what he did to upset them, as they didn’t seem to mind me petting them so much…
And now he just got attacked by a rattlesnake. I didn’t know he could scream like a girl.
Al
-
June 20, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Arrived at the Falls today. Clark took me to survey the route and we found this giant fountain. Seriously, it was huge. Clark named it Giant Springs, but I probably could have come up with something better.
We’ll probably have to stop here to repair the boats, but I don’t want to when we’re this close.
Al
-
July 14, 1805
Dear Tommy,
We spent the end of last month building this iron framed boat, but it leaked after one tiny rain storm, so we’ve spent most of this month trying to build some boats that actually work. It’s ridiculous how long this is taking. I swear I’m going to master boat-building until I can build a battleship in a day.
Since they won’t let me help, Pompy and I have been exploring the area around the Falls. We mostly just found some animals (none tried to eat us) but there were some pretty neat rocks too.
They finished the boats now. We’ll be leaving tomorrow.
Al
-
August 12, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Yesterday Lewis saw the first Indians since leaving Fort Mandan, so we should be meeting the Shoshones any day now.
Lewis and I did some scouting and we ended up crossing the Continental Divide. He also says we’re about 2,464 miles away from the mouth of the Missouri River, to give you some perspective on where I am.
Al
-
August 17, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Been at Camp Fortunate for a few days. We had a council meeting with the Shoshone today. Apparently the tribal leader, Cameahwait, is Sacagawea’s brother. Who knew?
We’ll need horses to get of the Rocky Mountains, so Lewis and Clark have been negotiating for them. You should see these mountains, they’re so huge! They’re like twice the size of the Appalachians. Probably more.
I was feeding this one horse earlier with Pompy. I hope I can get that one.
Al
-
August 26, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Officially crossed the Continental Divide today at some place called Lehmi Pass. Now in Oregon Territory.
I hope I don’t run into England…
Al
-
September 4, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Met the Flatheads today at Ross’s Hole. They sold us some more horses and seemed like pretty nice people. They didn’t attack us anyway.
It’s getting colder and we’re starting to run low on food, but maybe that’s just because we’re crossing the mountains.
Al
-
September 13, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Finally crossed the Lolo trail. Ran out of food. Had to eat some of the horses, among other things.
So hungry…
Al
-
October 9, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Met the Nez Perce Indians on Clearwater the other day. We have to leave the horses behind now and build some more canoes, but we’re almost there. I can taste the ocean air we’re that close.
Sacagawea says that just after the Clearwater and Snake River we’ll get on the Columbia River and that will take us straight to the Pacific. I don’t know where these rivers are, so I just smile and nod.
We’ll definitely be there before the year is out though.
Al
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November 24, 1805
Dear Tommy,
We did it! We’re here! The Pacific Ocean! Actually we got here on the 20th, but I’ve been too busy playing in the ocean with Pompy and the others to write to you about it. Sorry about that.
We’ve been debating where to set up camp for the winter and it ended up going to a vote. Everyone was allowed to vote, well, not Pompy, he doesn’t even know what’s going on yet, but everyone else was. We ended up deciding on the south side of the Columbia River.
We’ll probably start building Fort Clatsop soon.
Al
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March 23, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Leaving the Ocean and heading East.
See you soon.
Al
-
May 14, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Stopped at Camp Chopunnish to get ready to cross back over the mountains, but they’re still covered in snow. No kidding. It probably won’t be gone until June.
The Captains are taking this time to prepare for the journey home, and it looks like they’re planning on splitting up at some point. I don’t know who I’ll be going with though.
I miss the ocean, though I wonder what’s going on in Washington. You’re not in too much trouble without me right?
Al
-
June 20, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Mountains still cold, even in June. Much easier time going east.
Al
-
July 3, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Well, today we split into two groups. Lewis is taking one group up the Blackfoot River and back to the Great Falls while Clark’s group will go up the Bitterroot River and explore Yellowstone. They let me chose which way I would go so I’m going with Clark because I’ve already seen the Falls. Sacagawea and Pompy are coming with us too, but it’s mostly for the adventure.
I’m sure Lewis’s group will be fine, but I can’t help but worry about them.
Al
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July 6, 1806
Dear Tommy,
We crossed the Continental Divide again, this time at a place called Gibbons Pass.
Pompy and I are happy to be back home.
Al
-
July 8, 1806
Dear Tommy,
We made it back to Camp Fortunate today and dug up a cache that we left there last year which was pretty cool. I don’t smoke, but everyone else was excited about the tobacco.
In a few days Ordway is planning on going up the Missouri to meet up with Lewis’s group. I hope they haven’t gotten into too much trouble...
Al
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July 25, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Since I’m heading back east, these letters should be taking less time to reach you right?
Anyway, today Clark and I discovered this pillar made of sandstone above the Yellowstone River. It had all of these petroglyphs on it and now I guess Clark’s signature too cause he felt the need to sign it. We climbed up it to get a better view of the area.
I decided to call it ‘Pompy’s Tower’ because he face just lit up when we found it.
Al
-
August 8, 1806
Dear Tommy,
We’re back at the meeting of the Missouri and Yellowstone Rivers. Can’t go any further cause our horses were stolen. Making boats now.
Probably meeting with the others soon.
Al
-
August 12, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Met up with Lewis’s group today. Apparently the Blackfeet Indians tried to steal some of their weapons and they had a shoot out. None of our guys got hit, but two Indians were killed. Somebody also shot Lewis yesterday. It was an accident and he’s fine, but still.
Sacagawea says we’ll be back at Mandan Village in a few days. I’ll spend as much time with her and Pompy as I can before they have to go home.
Al
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August 14, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Back at Mandan. Saying goodbye to Sacagawea and Pompy before heading back to St. Louis tomorrow. She said she knew who I was the whole time, despite the fact that I didn’t tell her, and wished me luck and said I could come and visit them whenever I wanted.
I’ll take them up on that offer.
Al
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September 23, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Back in St. Louis. See you in a few days.
Al
-
“Sounds like you had a fun trip,” Jefferson stated as the young nation walked in the office.
“Did you get my letters?”
“Yes, but I remember telling you to put some analysis into them…”
“Everyone else was already doing that, so what’s the point? Anyway, what did I miss?”
“Not much. Hamilton lost a duel with Burr, so he’s dead now. You no longer have to pay the Barbary States. Oh, and England is seizing our ships and impressing our sailors, but really, not much.”
“Oh that’s…wait what?”
***
Thomas Jefferson was the third President of the United States. He was also the first Secretary of State and the second Vice President. His terms are mostly noted for the Marbury vs. Madison Supreme Court case, which established Judicial Review, and the Louisiana Purchase. He left office on a sour note with the Embargo Act, which cut off all trade with Britain and France and ended up promoted smuggling.
First President: George Washington
Word Count: 1,359
A teenaged America wandered around the landscape, hatchet in hand, quite upset with his caretaker.
“Stupid England…of course I know how to use a hatchet…” as if to prove his point, he chucked it at the nearest object, which at the moment happened to be a cherry tree. It unexpectedly cut all the way through and toppled to the ground.
“That’s not good…England’s gonna kill me…” the small nation muttered aloud.
“Not if my father gets to you first.” A young boy that America hadn’t noticed before said as he approached. “He’s not going to like that very much. It was his favorite tree…”
“I’m sorry!” he quickly apologized. The last thing he needed at this point in his young (for a nation) life was for his citizens to be after his head. “It was an accident! I really didn’t mean to cut down your tree!”
“Then why were you wandering around our property with a hatchet?”
“It’s En-I mean, Arthur’s fault! He’s my caretaker.” America explained. “Sometimes he just gets me so frustrated and I just need to get out and…uh, this isn’t really helping, is it?” he asked at the boy’s blank look.
“No. If anything, now you just look even guiltier.”
“I’m sorry. Really, I didn’t mean it.” He looked directly into the boy’s eyes and pleaded his case from the very bottom of his heart. “I’ll make it up to you and your father somehow.”
The boy returned his gaze, searching the fledgling nation for some kind of conformation in his gaze. After a while he sighed and said, “Well, I’d forgive you. Unfortunately for you, it’s not up to me…”
As if on cue, an irate man appeared. “What have you done to my tree you useless brat!” He roared at America’s face. The blonde guiltily hid his hatchet behind his back and stared at the ground attempting to form some kind of coherent apology when he felt someone take the tool of destruction from his hand.
“Father, I cannot tell a lie,” he heard the boy say. “I did it with my little hatchet.”
This stunned the man into silence as he slowly turned to face his son. “George…you…what? Why?”
“I’m sorry Father. I was just practicing a little. I didn’t actually think I’d be able to do any damage. Mr. uh-”
“Jones.” America supplied. “Alfred Jones.”
“Mr. Jones here heard the noise and came to see what happened. He is completely guiltless in this matter.”
“Is that so?” The man shot another look at the nation before turning to address his son. “George, I appreciate your honesty. Really though, you should know better.”
“I know. I am sorry, Father.”
The man took the hatchet from him. “I can’t really punish your honesty, but I’m going to have to take your hatchet away.” He looked mournfully at the tree. “I guess we can use it for firewood. Bring it in with you.” He turned and left George and America alone.
George sighed and went to gather up the tree to haul back to his house.
“Um…” America uncharacteristically stuttered. “Thanks for that.”
“It’s no problem.” He grabbed the tree and struggled to drag it up the slope. America suddenly picked the tree up in his arms.
“You don’t have to do that. I can take care of it myself.”
“No, I should. It’s my fault anyway…where does this go?”
George led America to his house and directed him to the woodpile in the back with the rest of the firewood.
“I’ll cut it up later.” He explained.
The nation, sweating slightly from the excursion, sat down on the woodpile to rest for a bit. As he did so, the young boy studied him.
“You’re…not like everyone else.” He stated after a while. America just smirked.
“I could say the same about you. Most people would have just turned me in! Thanks for that again, uh…what was your name again?”
“George. George Washington.” He shrugged. “And really, it was nothing.”
“Ah, Arthur keeps telling me I’m too reckless! I would have been in so much trouble if he found out, so you really helped me out of that pinch there.”
“I suppose.” George sat down next to him. “I couldn’t just leave you there like that though. Just something about your face made me want to defend you I suppose.” A comfortable silence passed over them.
After a while America jumped down from the woodpile and started heading back. “It was nice meeting you George.”
“Nice meeting you too…what was your name again?” the boy asked, blushing.
“Alfred Jones.” The blonde nation stopped in his tracks and stared out at the horizon.
England had warned him about telling people his real name. It was improper and for his own safety, as well as that of his citizens, it was better if they didn’t know who he really was. Only the higher ups in his government were supposed to know, and be his, he meant England’s. America knew about all of this, but he couldn’t help trusting this kid, despite how young he was, despite how clearly not-a-nation or a member of the English court or Parliament as he was.
“But…” he said after a while, “you can call me America.”
***
Years went by, wars were fought, taxes were raised, rebellions happened. America went from shoving tea in the harbor just to piss England off, to being yelled at by Prussia at Valley Forge in the cold, to finally cornering England, with France’s help, in Yorktown. Somehow, through all of this, George was right by his side, fighting for his independence almost as much as America himself was. Depending on who you asked, maybe even a little more.
So when it finally came down to picking a leader for the new United States of America, there was only one man he wanted for the job.
“C’mon George.” The nation looked at his General with puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
“I said no. I don’t want to lead this country! I’m not the right man for the job.”
“What are you talking about? You’re perfect! They voted unanimously. That means they all want you in office, you know.”
“I know what unanimously means, Alfred. I’m turning it down, they can pick someone better.”
“No they can’t, and you know it.” George glared at his friend, who glared just as intensely back. “Face it Georgie, you could declare yourself the new King of America and make your first order of business to raise taxes again and they would let you.”
“Don’t call me that!” he sighed. “And I don’t want to be king.”
“Good, because I don’t want a king.”
“I’m no king. I’m no ruler. I can’t…I’m sorry, America. You can find someone better.”
“No I can’t.” America stood up and smacked his hands on the table. “I don’t want a king, and I don’t need a ruler. What I do need is a leader, and you’ve already proven yourself more than qualified at that buy, you know, beating the English Empire. You are the right man for the job and I refuse to accept any one else.”
George looked at him contemplatively for a few moments before turning his head and looking at the wall. “You’re very stubborn, you know.”
“It’s one of my better qualities.”
The General chuckled before turning to face his nation. “Alright, you win.”
“Really?” America asked excitedly. “You’ll do it?”
“Yes, you wore me down: I’ll be your fist President.”
“Yes!” He rushed over and hugged his new President. “You won’t regret, George. This’ll be awesome!”
“Only…for a few years though…”
“Of course. Can’t have the same guy in charge forever.”
“America…I can’t breathe…”
“Sorry.” He let the man go and waited while he caught his breath. “So, Mr. President, are you ready lead America?”
George Washington was the first president of the United States of America. He served in office from 1789 until 1797, setting the two-term standard most presidents would follow. So far he is the only Independent elected to the presidency. His farewell address is probably one of the most influential statements on political values in America.
Second President: John Adams
Word Count: 1,142
America had first met John Adams at the Congressional Congress. Since he was one of the guys who pushed for his independence since the beginning, the nation considered him a good guy. Wasn’t much of a fighter, but thinking was good to from time to time.
When the man became his boss after George was done, America felt it was a good choice. Good enough for the situation anyway.
Tommy wasn’t too happy about being stuck as Vice though.
“Mr. Jones…” one of the attendants approached him shakily. “They’re fighting again…”
America sighed and ran off to find his bosses before they decide to kill each other.
“Clearly you’re just doing this to undermine my authority!” the blonde heard Jefferson shouting from around the corner.
“I don’t need to undermine your authority, Vice, or did you forget-”
“Three votes Adams! Nothing to write home about!”
“Says the guy who lost.”
“Just wait until 1800!”
“Yes, my re-election will be splendid I’m certain.”
“You…”
America showed up just before this went to blows. “Hey guys, what’s new?”
“America!” Jefferson turned to face the nation and shoved several documents under his nose. “Have you seen the new laws the President over here is passing?”
He took the papers from the irate man and quickly looked them over. “The Naturalization Act*…does this even have a purpose?”
“Just to, you know, steal Republican votes and all that.”
“If you had your way you’d make King George a citizen!”
“Stop it.” America muttered as he looked at the next one. “The Aliens Acts*…whoa, wait a minute, can you do this? Why would you do this…I was kinda created by immigrants, or did you forget that?”
“I’m not actually going to deport anyone,” Adams defended. “It’s just for security reasons…just in case something does happen and someone needs to get deported.”
Jefferson muttered something that sounded vaguely like “stealing votes” and “abusing authority” but America ignored it and looked at the last one.
“The Sedition Act*…” his face blanched. “Hey! You can’t do that!”
“See? Told you.” Jefferson smirked.
“I know it looks bad…”
“It’s violating the First Amendment! You helped write the First Amendment!”
“It’s not like I’d ever enforce it.”
“Then why pass it?” The confused nation asked.
“So my party doesn’t get to tell him what an ass he’s being.”
“Vice, why are you trying to make this personal?”
“You’re the one making it personal!”
“Stop it. Boss you didn’t actually sign these did you?”
“I…well…I don’t like them either you know…”
“Then why did you sign them?!” Jefferson raged.
“I, well…party pressure…”
“Bull. Half the Federalists aren’t even talking to you anymore.”
“And I suppose you have a better idea then?”
“As a matter of fact…”
“I don’t wanna fight England again.” America complained. “I don’t wanna fight France either. That’s why I’m staying out of their war.”
“And you’re doing such a good job with that!”
Jefferson regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth as America a look akin to that of a kicked puppy.
“Alfred, I sorry. I overacted and I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Maybe you should go cool off Tommy.” Jefferson nodded and left without another word.
“Did you talk to France again?” Adams asked as soon as his Vice President was gone.
“Yeah…he’s still stopping ships and being annoying.”
“Figures.” The President took seat behind his desk and sighed. “Did you know it would be this tedious?” he asked suddenly.
“You know I couldn’t help France with his revolution, you were there…”
“Not that.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Being a nation? When you first wanted independence?”
“No.” America said truthfully. “I knew it wouldn’t be easy, although I didn’t think I’d have this many problems so soon. But,” he added, “if you’re asking if I’d rather go back being England’s voiceless colony, then that, Boss, is a very prominent ‘No way.’”
His boss smirked and it reminded America of the Adams he first met that would fight for him with all he had. “Me neither.”
“We’ll get this all settled out. He may be acting stupid right now, but France doesn’t want a fight anymore than I do.”
“We should prepare for war anyway…just in case.” Adams sat up and looked through some papers on his desk. “That means building up the navy some more and raising taxes again. You okay with that?”
“Whatever you think is best, Boss. But, um…” he waved the documents Jefferson handed him.
“If I promise not to use them unless absolutely necessary will you stop making that face that makes me feel like I kicked your puppy?”
“I guess, but in return you’ve gotta stop caving.”
“Deal.”
***
1800 eventually rolled around, and America knew as soon as Jefferson recruited Aaron Burr to help him with his campaign that he would be getting a new boss soon.
Imminent defeated didn’t stop Adams from trying to fix things with France. He kept sending America back to Paris despite the lack of results. Persistence proved to work, and in the end France’s new boss, Napoleon or something like that, decided petty fights with America were not the best course of action while fighting a war with the British Empire. A peaceful agreement was eventually reached between France and America without the need for an actual battle.
This resolution didn’t come fast enough to help Adams swing the voters to his favor and both he and America knew it.
“Jefferson’s an ass, but he’s a good man.” He told America one night. “You should be fine with him as your boss.” He said this more to himself than the nation.
“I know.” America responded anyway.
“I’m putting John Marshall in as Chief Justice.”
“You sure? It’s like three days before you leave office.”
His boss smirked. “Wouldn’t want the new guy to think that this is an easy job, now would I? Got to keep him on his toes after all.”
America laughed despite himself. “You’re really an evil genius aren’t you? I am going to miss you, for what it’s worth.”
“For what it’s worth, I appreciate it.” A silence fell over the room. “I’ve been thinking,” Adams said after a while, “what life as a private citizen would be like?”
“I dunno. You might like it, but it’s not really for me.”
“I doubt it would be.” He turned and looked the young nation in the eyes. “You are going to be a strong nation, America. One of the best too. I can feel it.”
America was touched beyond words. Eventually he managed to say, “Thanks…Boss.”
***
John Adams was the second President of the United States. He served only one term from 1797 to 1801. He was also the first president to live in what would become the White House, though it was still incomplete at the time.
*Naturalization Act made it so that one had to be living in America for 14 years in order to gain citizenship. The Alien Friends Act and Alien Enemies Act gave the president the right to deport any foriegner who he felt was a danger to the country. The Sedition Act allowed punishment for criticizing the Federal government.
Third President: Thomas Jefferson
Word Count: 4,362
Jefferson and America went way back, after all, the guy wrote the Declaration of Independence for him and everything. He also got to know him as Vice President, so it wasn’t all that shocking when his first actions as President of the United States was to attempt to get rid of everything the previous guy did.
Decreasing the military and completely scraping the Navy caused the young nation to raise an eyebrow, but Jefferson explained that it was eating up the republic’s resources and besides, if they ever were attacked then citizen soldiers would be able to do the job just like they did during the revolution. He did, however create a Military Academy at West Point and the Army Corps of Engineers, because every army needs good leaders, so America figured it was fine.
Because of things like that, the Federalists were losing power, while the Republicans were starting to split, but America wasn’t really paying attention to that, as he spent most of his time away from home.
“America,” Jefferson had asked him one day, “I need you to go talk to France. You can take Monroe and Livingston with you if you want.”
“But France is busy fighting with something. He probably won’t talk to me.”
“It’s not about talking. Remember the Louisiana Territory?”
“You mean the giant piece of not-me out West?”
“The very same. I think it’s about time you grew a little, if you know what I’m saying.”
“I don’t think France is just going to give me Louisiana that easily…”
“He’s almost broke right now, so I’m sure we can buy it off him. Besides just picture it! The untamed west, a frontier of opportunities! Who knows what could be out there, waiting to be found!”
It did sound very appealing, and the whole doubling in size thing was always a plus, so the next day America, James Madison, and Robert Livingston boarded a ship heading for Paris.
***
“You want what now?” Napoleon was apparently busy with some stuff, but France and some other French guy named Talleyrand agreed to meet with them.
“The Louisiana Territory,” America stated. “See I figured you’re not using it and I want it and you’re broke so you’d sell.”
France and the representative gave each other a look that the younger nation couldn’t interpret before France wrote a number on a piece of paper and slid it across the table to the Americans.
“Zat amount will suffice for us.” America opened the paper with Madison and Livingston looking over his shoulder to reveal the number 15,000,000.
“Is this in dollars or francs?” America was too busying gawking at the possibility that this might actually happen to figure out who asked that, but he thought it was Livingston.
“Dollars, of course,” someone with a French accent replied. “We can’t trust Americans to be able to deal in any other currency.”
America figured he probably should have been insulted, but right now he didn’t care. “We’d like to accept the offer-”
“But,” Madison interrupted, “we should check with Congress first.”
The nation was disappointed, but realized the sense in what he said. He wasn’t sure if Jefferson even had the constitutional power to buy land.
“Very well, you may take your time,” France leaned back and took a sip of wine. “’Owever, I ‘ear Angleterre iz looking for some more territory on ze American continent…”
The three Americans looked at each other and gave a slight nod before turning back to their French hosts.
“France, I believe we have a deal.”
***
“This is so exciting!” America practically squealed when he was back in Washington.
“I know.” Jefferson was as excited as he was, but he managed to keep himself better composed about it. “We just managed to double in size! There’s practically nothing stopping us from going all the way to the Pacific at this rate!”
“Well, maybe a little. No one knows what’s out there after all.”
“Not to worry. You know Meriwether Lewis, right?”
“Um,” America searched his memory (Jefferson was bringing in so many new people) before a face did pop into his mind, “Yeah kinda.”
“Well he and William Clark are going to lead an expedition in order to map out the area and see who or what is there. Isn’t that great?”
“Oh. Yeah. Really great.” The young nation immediately turned away from his boss.
“…is something wrong?”
“No no, it’s fine. We need to know what’s there so we should send people. It’s fine.”
“Alfred,” the use of his human name caused the blonde to look up, “Lewis talked to me this morning. Apparently one of the men backed out. Do you want to join the expedition?”
His blue eyes lit up instantaneously. “Can I? Really?”
Jefferson chuckled at his enthusiasm. “Yes you can go. Lewis is in Elizabeth, Pennsylvania right now, getting a boat, so you can meet him there. Clark will join you at Clarksville, Indiana, and from there you’ll just keep heading west.”
America pulled the man into a giant bear hug. “Thank you thank you thank you! But will it be alright? I mean, me being away for so long…”
“Well my re-election’s pretty secure,”
“I wasn’t talking about that…”
He chuckled while pulling away from the nation. “I know. But still, right now we need to know what’s out there, so even if you’re away for a bit, it should be fine.”
America nodded, grinning like a maniac. “I wonder what I should pack…”
“You need to write to me though. Every day.”
“But it won’t get to you for like a month. And I don’t think the post gets all the way out there, so you might just get like a hundred letters one day and then not hear anything for another month.”
“Well I need to make sure you’re not eaten by a buffalo or something.”
“I’m pretty sure they only eat grass. Oh, I get it,” his smile became more teasing, “you’re worried about me!”
“No. Well, maybe. What will happen to this country if you drop dead out there?”
“It’s going to take more than some untamed wilderness to finish me off. Don’t worry Tommy, I’ll be fine.”
“Don’t call me Tommy,” he sighed, “I suppose you will be though. But you still need to write.”
“Sure, I’ll tell you all about the epic adventures I’ll face!”
“Try to get some science and topography in there too, please…”
***
August 31, 1803
Dear Tommy,
Finally left Elizabeth. It shouldn’t take so long to build a boat. If they let me help it could’ve got done faster, but for some reason they wanted to do it themselves.
Lewis seems like a nice guy. Well, I knew that before, but that was more in boring government terms. Now that we’re going out to the unknown together, it’s more in adventure buddy terms. I wonder what Clark’s like…
We just passed Pittsburg, and I should probably mention we’re on the Monongahela River now.
Al
-
October 13, 1803
Dear Tommy,
Made it to Indiana and met up with Clark. He’s a pretty good guy too. You’ve picked a good team, so congrats for that.
Would report more, but there’s nothing to report.
Al
-
December 12, 1803
Dear Tommy,
Last night we made a camp on someplace called Gabaret Island just north of St. Louis. The sky was clear so we were able to see all of the stars so clearly. Lewis says that we should be able to see them even clearer the farther west we go.
We’re supposed to reach the eastern bank of the Mississippi bank tomorrow. I wish we could just get out there already…
Al
-
May 14, 1804
Dear Tommy,
Yeah sorry about not writing, just there was nothing to write home about. We’ve been stuck in Camp Dubois all winter, but we finally set out today. We’ll be stopping in St. Charles, Missouri in a few days.
Pacific Coast here we come!
Al
-
May 25, 1804
Dear Tommy,
Passed La Charrette today. Now we enter the real unknown.
We passed by Boone’s Settlement the other day, but he wasn’t there and Clark said that we had to keep moving.
Lewis says we should reach the Osage River by June. I hope he’s right.
Al
-
June 12, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We met some trappers today. One of them, Pierre Dorion apparently knew Clark’s brother, so he agreed to return to the Sioux camp with us and be our interpreter. I wonder if I should tell them who I am?
Al
-
June 29, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We reached Kaw Point a few days ago, which was really awesome, but the excitement didn’t last very long.
Last night Collins broke into the supplies and got drunk. Hall heard him, but ended up just having a drink instead, so we had our first trial in the new territory. Collins got 100 lashes while Hall got 50.
Hopefully there will be happier stories up ahead.
Al
-
July 4, 1804
Dear Tommy,
Happy Independence Day! Although it’s going to be long over by the time you get this…
We had a huge party since it’s my birthday, but fireworks are hard to come by out here in Independence Creek (like the name? It was my idea) so he had to do without them.
Lewis’s and Clark’s birthdays are in August. I wonder if I should get them something...
Al
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July 21, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We reached the Platte River today. Lewis says that we’re now about 640 miles away from St. Louis. I didn’t realize we’d gotten that far, but he says we’ve still got a ways to go before we reach the Pacific.
We’re entering the Sioux territory now. I hope they don’t hate me…
Al
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August 3, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We had our first official council today! The Oto and Missouri Indians showed up and we were able to hand out medals and exchange gifts and stuff. It was so much fun!
Reed said he left his knife back at one of the camps, so he’s going to go back tomorrow. He says he’ll catch up with us later, but you’ll probably see him again before I do.
Al
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August 20, 1804
Dear Tommy,
Floyd died today. Apparently his appendix exploded or something, Lewis was trying to explain it to me but I didn’t really get it.
I hope we don’t lose anyone else. I don’t think I can stand it.
Al
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August 30, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We had a friendly council with the Yakton Sioux today. A baby was born too, so Lewis wrapped it in a flag and declared it ‘an American.’ It was so cool you should have been there*.
Field managed to kill a bison last week. It was huge, but I could’ve eaten it by myself. Gass was elected to Sergeant a few days ago, so we had the first election on this side of the Mississippi.
Did you get any of our stuff yet?
Al
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September 7, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We found a prairie dog! At least that’s what we’re calling it. It’s really cool. It was hard to catch though because it kept hiding underground whenever we got close. Reminds me of Italy for some reason…
We ended up catching it by pouring water on it. You should see. Actually, you will see it. We’re sending it back to you. Surprise! Did you get it yet?
I saw this weird prairie goat thing too. I’ll try to send it back to you if we catch it, but Clark says it’s too damn big.
Al
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September 29, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We had an eventful week. First we met up with these Lakota Sioux who demanded one of the boats as toll in order to move up the river. I was ready to fight it out, but Lewis stopped me and reminded me that this was supposed to be a peaceful mission.
Later we met with the Teton Sioux. We exchanged gifts and stuff but we had some communication problems. We invited the chiefs back on the keelboats for some whiskey but they ended up getting drunk. We actually did have two armed confrontations with the Sioux, but I promise it wasn’t my fault. Mostly. No one got hurt though.
It gets cold pretty fast out here.
Al
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October 11, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We passed the Grand River where the Arikara Indians live and we met this one trader who’s been living with them for 13 years! Can you believe that?
In another village we ran into this other trader from Quebec, but he doesn’t know Matt. I should stop assuming all Canadians know who he is.
Al
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October 26, 1804
Dear Tommy,
We reached the Mandans and Hidatsas villages the other day. The Captains agreed to build Fort Mandan across the river and stay there for the winter. I don’t really want to stop but it has been getting really cold lately.
In other news we’ve hired Rene Jessaume, who’s lived with the Mandan for over 10 years, as our interpreter. Go us.
Time to start building that fort…
Al
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November 4, 1804
Dear Tommy,
You probably won’t hear from me again until next year ‘cause we’re stuck here all winter.
Today we met this French-Canadian (who doesn’t know Francis or Matt) trapper named Toussaint Charbonneu who’s living among the Hidatsas with his two wives, Sacagawea and Little Otter. He and Sacagawea agreed to come with us, despite her pregnancy. It might not matter though, because we’re not leaving until spring.
Staying here might not be so bad though.
Al
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February 11, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Sacagawea gave birth today. She let Lewis and me help with the delivery, even though I’m not sure I did much. Lewis ended up using crushed rattlesnake’s rattles from his stock that he’s being keeping to help speed the delivery up. Sounds crazy but it worked. We’re out of rattlesnake rattles though.
The baby’s name is Jean Baptiste, and he’s so cute. I call him Pompy though. He and his mom are sleeping now but I’m keeping an eye on them.
Al
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April 7, 1805
Dear Tommy,
It’s finally warm enough to head out again, so we left Fort Mandan with six canoes and two pirogues. Clark says we might end up visiting it on the way back though.
Pompy seems to have taken a liking to me. He spends almost as much time with me as he does his mom. Sacagawea doesn’t mind at all and she lets me watch the kid as long as I’m not doing anything too dangerous. I think Clark is jealous.
Howard got a letter from his wife today. You’re probably too busy to write to me though. Not that I’m implying you’re my wife or anything.
Al
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April 25, 1805
Dear Tommy,
We reached the Yellowstone River finally. Field and I went up river a bit to do some scouting and we saw a big horned sheep. We brought back its horns and are sending them to you. Did you get them yet?
Lewis thinks the area might be good to build some forts, but we don’t have time to build them now.
Al
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May 14, 1805
Dear Tommy,
There was a storm today and it tipped one of the pirogues that were carrying our supplies, including Lewis’s and Clark’s journals. They would have been lost forever, but Sacagawea and I managed to jump in and save most of it.
The water out here is surprisingly cold. I should probably go out by the fire.
Al
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April 29, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Lewis and I went out hunting today and we managed to kill a grizzly bear. It’s the first one we’ve managed to kill so far, but we can’t send it to you because we are going to eat it.
A few days ago we entered a new space of land that I wanted to call Montana, but Clark says I shouldn’t just randomly name spaces of land. Even if it’s technically mine now.
Al
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May 8, 1805
Dear Tommy,
We found a river made of milk! Well, it’s not really made of milk, but it looks like it is, so we called it Milk River. The natives call it “a river which scolds all others.”
Pompy and I went out exploring the woods when we stopped the other day. We found a baby bear and where playing with it for a bit until it’s mom showed up and chased us away. Sacagawea wasn’t too happy about that. Mom’s can be so touchy.
Al
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June 3, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Made it to the Marias River and set up Camp Deposit. The Missouri forks here, but since no one told us about the Marias, we don’t know which one is the Missouri so some of us went up the north fork while the others tried the south one. Most of us thought the Missouri went north, but the Captain’s thought it went south, so that’s where we went.
Al
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June 14, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Yesterday Lewis and I went scouting ahead for a bit and found the Great Falls. They were huge so we’re positive that they couldn’t be anything else. This means we’re on the right track.
Lewis hasn’t been having a very good day. While we were out exploring the north side of the river, he got attacked by a bear, a tigercat, and some bison. I’m still not sure what he did to upset them, as they didn’t seem to mind me petting them so much…
And now he just got attacked by a rattlesnake. I didn’t know he could scream like a girl.
Al
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June 20, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Arrived at the Falls today. Clark took me to survey the route and we found this giant fountain. Seriously, it was huge. Clark named it Giant Springs, but I probably could have come up with something better.
We’ll probably have to stop here to repair the boats, but I don’t want to when we’re this close.
Al
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July 14, 1805
Dear Tommy,
We spent the end of last month building this iron framed boat, but it leaked after one tiny rain storm, so we’ve spent most of this month trying to build some boats that actually work. It’s ridiculous how long this is taking. I swear I’m going to master boat-building until I can build a battleship in a day.
Since they won’t let me help, Pompy and I have been exploring the area around the Falls. We mostly just found some animals (none tried to eat us) but there were some pretty neat rocks too.
They finished the boats now. We’ll be leaving tomorrow.
Al
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August 12, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Yesterday Lewis saw the first Indians since leaving Fort Mandan, so we should be meeting the Shoshones any day now.
Lewis and I did some scouting and we ended up crossing the Continental Divide. He also says we’re about 2,464 miles away from the mouth of the Missouri River, to give you some perspective on where I am.
Al
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August 17, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Been at Camp Fortunate for a few days. We had a council meeting with the Shoshone today. Apparently the tribal leader, Cameahwait, is Sacagawea’s brother. Who knew?
We’ll need horses to get of the Rocky Mountains, so Lewis and Clark have been negotiating for them. You should see these mountains, they’re so huge! They’re like twice the size of the Appalachians. Probably more.
I was feeding this one horse earlier with Pompy. I hope I can get that one.
Al
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August 26, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Officially crossed the Continental Divide today at some place called Lehmi Pass. Now in Oregon Territory.
I hope I don’t run into England…
Al
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September 4, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Met the Flatheads today at Ross’s Hole. They sold us some more horses and seemed like pretty nice people. They didn’t attack us anyway.
It’s getting colder and we’re starting to run low on food, but maybe that’s just because we’re crossing the mountains.
Al
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September 13, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Finally crossed the Lolo trail. Ran out of food. Had to eat some of the horses, among other things.
So hungry…
Al
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October 9, 1805
Dear Tommy,
Met the Nez Perce Indians on Clearwater the other day. We have to leave the horses behind now and build some more canoes, but we’re almost there. I can taste the ocean air we’re that close.
Sacagawea says that just after the Clearwater and Snake River we’ll get on the Columbia River and that will take us straight to the Pacific. I don’t know where these rivers are, so I just smile and nod.
We’ll definitely be there before the year is out though.
Al
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November 24, 1805
Dear Tommy,
We did it! We’re here! The Pacific Ocean! Actually we got here on the 20th, but I’ve been too busy playing in the ocean with Pompy and the others to write to you about it. Sorry about that.
We’ve been debating where to set up camp for the winter and it ended up going to a vote. Everyone was allowed to vote, well, not Pompy, he doesn’t even know what’s going on yet, but everyone else was. We ended up deciding on the south side of the Columbia River.
We’ll probably start building Fort Clatsop soon.
Al
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March 23, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Leaving the Ocean and heading East.
See you soon.
Al
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May 14, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Stopped at Camp Chopunnish to get ready to cross back over the mountains, but they’re still covered in snow. No kidding. It probably won’t be gone until June.
The Captains are taking this time to prepare for the journey home, and it looks like they’re planning on splitting up at some point. I don’t know who I’ll be going with though.
I miss the ocean, though I wonder what’s going on in Washington. You’re not in too much trouble without me right?
Al
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June 20, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Mountains still cold, even in June. Much easier time going east.
Al
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July 3, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Well, today we split into two groups. Lewis is taking one group up the Blackfoot River and back to the Great Falls while Clark’s group will go up the Bitterroot River and explore Yellowstone. They let me chose which way I would go so I’m going with Clark because I’ve already seen the Falls. Sacagawea and Pompy are coming with us too, but it’s mostly for the adventure.
I’m sure Lewis’s group will be fine, but I can’t help but worry about them.
Al
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July 6, 1806
Dear Tommy,
We crossed the Continental Divide again, this time at a place called Gibbons Pass.
Pompy and I are happy to be back home.
Al
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July 8, 1806
Dear Tommy,
We made it back to Camp Fortunate today and dug up a cache that we left there last year which was pretty cool. I don’t smoke, but everyone else was excited about the tobacco.
In a few days Ordway is planning on going up the Missouri to meet up with Lewis’s group. I hope they haven’t gotten into too much trouble...
Al
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July 25, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Since I’m heading back east, these letters should be taking less time to reach you right?
Anyway, today Clark and I discovered this pillar made of sandstone above the Yellowstone River. It had all of these petroglyphs on it and now I guess Clark’s signature too cause he felt the need to sign it. We climbed up it to get a better view of the area.
I decided to call it ‘Pompy’s Tower’ because he face just lit up when we found it.
Al
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August 8, 1806
Dear Tommy,
We’re back at the meeting of the Missouri and Yellowstone Rivers. Can’t go any further cause our horses were stolen. Making boats now.
Probably meeting with the others soon.
Al
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August 12, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Met up with Lewis’s group today. Apparently the Blackfeet Indians tried to steal some of their weapons and they had a shoot out. None of our guys got hit, but two Indians were killed. Somebody also shot Lewis yesterday. It was an accident and he’s fine, but still.
Sacagawea says we’ll be back at Mandan Village in a few days. I’ll spend as much time with her and Pompy as I can before they have to go home.
Al
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August 14, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Back at Mandan. Saying goodbye to Sacagawea and Pompy before heading back to St. Louis tomorrow. She said she knew who I was the whole time, despite the fact that I didn’t tell her, and wished me luck and said I could come and visit them whenever I wanted.
I’ll take them up on that offer.
Al
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September 23, 1806
Dear Tommy,
Back in St. Louis. See you in a few days.
Al
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“Sounds like you had a fun trip,” Jefferson stated as the young nation walked in the office.
“Did you get my letters?”
“Yes, but I remember telling you to put some analysis into them…”
“Everyone else was already doing that, so what’s the point? Anyway, what did I miss?”
“Not much. Hamilton lost a duel with Burr, so he’s dead now. You no longer have to pay the Barbary States. Oh, and England is seizing our ships and impressing our sailors, but really, not much.”
“Oh that’s…wait what?”
***
Thomas Jefferson was the third President of the United States. He was also the first Secretary of State and the second Vice President. His terms are mostly noted for the Marbury vs. Madison Supreme Court case, which established Judicial Review, and the Louisiana Purchase. He left office on a sour note with the Embargo Act, which cut off all trade with Britain and France and ended up promoted smuggling.