zomgwtf blog got res
I'm about almost halfway through my first semester at CSUF. I haven't touched this blog in so long and I've noticed my writing skills have seriously decreased. I've procrastinated in bringing this whole thing back because if there's one thing I'm good at, it's fucking quitting. That and being a stupid cunt with a penchant for self-pity. So what's new since the last time I was on? I'm going to CSUF which is a more "respectable" school than Cypress. It's nice and I'm taking some fun classes so I like it. I've been watching a buttload of films which I enjoy but it does kill alot of my free time. I still work at Chevron. I still fall for girls I have no chance with. I still use sarcasm as an involuntary weapon to push others away. I still listen to ska. I still start reading books that I don't finish. Everything is the same.
Inori moved to Texas around October or something of last year. Supposedly he's comming back this summer which will be neato since he was a core part of the group and all. I dunno, everyone is now at seperate schools and I feel kinda distant from everyone. Law hasn't been hanging out for a few weeks now because of his classes or whatever bullshit but I've hung out with Jason pretty recently and I see Shaun and Steve atleast once every week and everything but it just not the same as just a year ago. I just feel more depressed all the time, that no matter how good things are going to get, they aren't good enough. I just feel unfulfilled and without whatever it is that's missing, I cannot be completely happy. It's really retarted that I can't be happy; I should quit bitching about things I can't change. I'm going to a pretty cool school and the people in my class are pretty awesome and I have a pretty good car and I don't have a life threatening condition. I should buck up. But yeah, my problem is that I see those who I view as being The Ideal and that since nothing else can compare, why would I ever want anything but The Ideal? The thing is that it's The Ideal or nothing and so far nothing is happening more often than not.
Inori moved to Texas around October or something of last year. Supposedly he's comming back this summer which will be neato since he was a core part of the group and all. I dunno, everyone is now at seperate schools and I feel kinda distant from everyone. Law hasn't been hanging out for a few weeks now because of his classes or whatever bullshit but I've hung out with Jason pretty recently and I see Shaun and Steve atleast once every week and everything but it just not the same as just a year ago. I just feel more depressed all the time, that no matter how good things are going to get, they aren't good enough. I just feel unfulfilled and without whatever it is that's missing, I cannot be completely happy. It's really retarted that I can't be happy; I should quit bitching about things I can't change. I'm going to a pretty cool school and the people in my class are pretty awesome and I have a pretty good car and I don't have a life threatening condition. I should buck up. But yeah, my problem is that I see those who I view as being The Ideal and that since nothing else can compare, why would I ever want anything but The Ideal? The thing is that it's The Ideal or nothing and so far nothing is happening more often than not.