its been a while
its been about three months since ive updated. I am sure a lot has happened but i stair at this blank page and cant think. I had an interview for a new job today, as a lifeguard getting 9 dollars and hour. Bugs took over Quik Trip. They are gigantic and at first i was scared but know i kill them. SIze 12 bomb on there 6 legged asses. I only have 9 days of school left. Im not as excited as i should be. My mothers birthday was today and im pretty sure she hates me. Its complicated but i can sum it up with a quote from her "i didnt thinki had any sons left." I dont know what to do but it its just killing me on the inside. Since i last wrote i have been hanging out with ellen a lot. I had feelings for her but we are just friends, its better that way ... it only took some dashboard and a little convincing that i actually believed it. Speaking of dashboard they are coming out with a new cd. Went to prom, it was fun but i disappointed many.I got really drunk and people were disappointed but its because im diabetic soim grateful to have friends who care. It seams everytime i dirnk it ends up with people mad at me so ill pass for awhile. I have been pretty emo lately, more than usuall. Lots of stress, ap test, college, graduation, job, and ive been feeling like there is a big void in my life. I havent had a girlfriend in two years and i havent had a meaningful one since i lived in NY. thats over four years ago, i mean i have great friends but sometimes i just feel kind of alone. I know i have people to talk to but its just not the same to me, if it makes sense. Hopefully college will change this but who knows. I plan on going to NY this sumnmer, want to go to warped tour their, go with nick. Never been to a show with him so it would be fun. Need to find a place to stay, staying at lindsay's is looking iffy. HAve a bad feeling it wont happen but i really want to go. Need to work a lot this summer and get a motorcycle. Thats all for now.