end remorse, end regrets, end hope, just go with instinct, do it, kill yourself
well long time no update huh? oh well. does it fucking matter now a days? its not like i read up on your lives that often or for some people ever.
well lets see, i fucked up. i broke up with her, and then i wanted to get back with her, but she already found someone. 2 weeks after we break up and i've been replaced, kinda makes me feel like i was just something that was there for her when there was no one else. i could be wrong but does it really matter? and i know your fucking him adrienne. and i know how much you want him and shit, i read your journal, and i know shit since im not a fucking goddamn retard. and after what i told you thursday night, i cant think that now, im throwing that out of my head what i had said. its destroyed me inside but oh fuckiing well.
almost had a nervous breakdown at work thursday morning, then last night after learning some stuff and drinking some vodka i was on the edge of it. i was ready to kill. but oh well. fuck it, im welcoming it with open arms. im ready.
i'm going back to germany hopefully. well im going there for 2 weeks for xmas, but if my brother can get me a job on the contract he's going to start soon, i'll be there for 6 months, and it looks pretty good so far, so i hope i get the job. making $15 an hour. average of 60 hours a week, sometimes more, sometimes less maybe. and for those who failed on learning multiplication, 15x60=$900 a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. thats pretty good i think. so yea, might be going there for another 6 months. i want to get away from this shithole for a little bit.
thats all for now i guess. so yea, fuck it.
everytime you humored me
you patronized my misery
the yesterdays mean nothin now
they've never mattered anyhow
often times i wonder why
theres love and hate, thers live or die
when sickness comes i must decide
when feelings go thers suicide
1 question for everyone, why do you think you deserve to live?
well lets see, i fucked up. i broke up with her, and then i wanted to get back with her, but she already found someone. 2 weeks after we break up and i've been replaced, kinda makes me feel like i was just something that was there for her when there was no one else. i could be wrong but does it really matter? and i know your fucking him adrienne. and i know how much you want him and shit, i read your journal, and i know shit since im not a fucking goddamn retard. and after what i told you thursday night, i cant think that now, im throwing that out of my head what i had said. its destroyed me inside but oh fuckiing well.
almost had a nervous breakdown at work thursday morning, then last night after learning some stuff and drinking some vodka i was on the edge of it. i was ready to kill. but oh well. fuck it, im welcoming it with open arms. im ready.
i'm going back to germany hopefully. well im going there for 2 weeks for xmas, but if my brother can get me a job on the contract he's going to start soon, i'll be there for 6 months, and it looks pretty good so far, so i hope i get the job. making $15 an hour. average of 60 hours a week, sometimes more, sometimes less maybe. and for those who failed on learning multiplication, 15x60=$900 a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. thats pretty good i think. so yea, might be going there for another 6 months. i want to get away from this shithole for a little bit.
thats all for now i guess. so yea, fuck it.
everytime you humored me
you patronized my misery
the yesterdays mean nothin now
they've never mattered anyhow
often times i wonder why
theres love and hate, thers live or die
when sickness comes i must decide
when feelings go thers suicide
1 question for everyone, why do you think you deserve to live?