(no subject)
it looks like florida is out of the question for this year.. but maybe next year. it kills me that i cannot come down there even for a little bit.
nine years have gone by really fast every year it plays like a video in my mind of that fucking shit hole day. I don't get it, why does it still bother me badly, i went to his grave and the flowers that my brother and i planted on fathers day are looking really nice actually. i am very thankful for that. i just wish that i was planting flowers in his front yard not in front of his grave.
how do i tell him my wants, needs and feelings in general, when i cannot even rely on him to be there for me on that one day. he doesn't call me unless i call him and he sure as hell doesn't come over unless i beg him. but at the same time there is something about him that i don't want to lose. he really treats me well, aside from what i just mentioned. he is soo sweet to me and does nice things for me. he's concerned about me and what not. i just feel like it's not even worth it though..
i think i set myself up for disappointment.. yeah i think that exactly it and i guess i am just affraid that he really doesn't love me, and everytime he says it it's a lie to me and himself.. i feel so torn, on the one hand i would be ok with him not really loving me i suppose but then on the other, i would just feel like i wasted my fucking time and put my pos heart out there for no reason. damn i am fucked up.. best place for me.. all by myself in the woods
you are so selfish and fickle, you want everything to go exactly your way and when it doesn't you get take it out on everyone around you... you spit words like fire straight from the pits of hell, and try to blow them out with your chilling breath which comes from deep within you cold heart
nine years have gone by really fast every year it plays like a video in my mind of that fucking shit hole day. I don't get it, why does it still bother me badly, i went to his grave and the flowers that my brother and i planted on fathers day are looking really nice actually. i am very thankful for that. i just wish that i was planting flowers in his front yard not in front of his grave.
how do i tell him my wants, needs and feelings in general, when i cannot even rely on him to be there for me on that one day. he doesn't call me unless i call him and he sure as hell doesn't come over unless i beg him. but at the same time there is something about him that i don't want to lose. he really treats me well, aside from what i just mentioned. he is soo sweet to me and does nice things for me. he's concerned about me and what not. i just feel like it's not even worth it though..
i think i set myself up for disappointment.. yeah i think that exactly it and i guess i am just affraid that he really doesn't love me, and everytime he says it it's a lie to me and himself.. i feel so torn, on the one hand i would be ok with him not really loving me i suppose but then on the other, i would just feel like i wasted my fucking time and put my pos heart out there for no reason. damn i am fucked up.. best place for me.. all by myself in the woods
you are so selfish and fickle, you want everything to go exactly your way and when it doesn't you get take it out on everyone around you... you spit words like fire straight from the pits of hell, and try to blow them out with your chilling breath which comes from deep within you cold heart