dieting past and future
I don't know if thinking this way is stopping me from losing any weight, but I realized this morning that I don't believe I can do it. Even if I can lose the weight I want to lose, I don't believe I will keep it off. From the time I was a child, I watched my mom diet constantly, and watched her weight go up and down. She never got to a healthy weight, and she was never happy. I assume I will be the same way.
I feel so bad for Darryl. We're going to get married, and then he's going to have to put up with my crazy weight battle for the rest of his life. He's always going to have to listen to me complain about my fat butt and wish that I could do something about it, while continuing to eat fried foods, sweets, cream-based sauces, etc.
It doesn't have to be this way, and I know that. Other people can lose weight and keep it off for the rest of their life. Why not me? I know it's possible, rationally. It's my irrational mind that I have to convince now.
Weight this morning: 154.4
Body fat %: 37
Breakfast: Oatmeal, non-fat coconut latte (212 cal)
Lunch: teriyaki chicken with vegetables and rice (est. 550)
Dinner: taco soup with cheddar cheese (est. 5,000,000 calories)
Snacks: banana (110), See's dark chocolate toffee (est. 100), about 3,000 pieces of banana bread (est. 5,000,000 calories), one cookie (est. 50)
Total calories: way too many
Short term goal weight: 136 (healthy BMI!)
I feel so bad for Darryl. We're going to get married, and then he's going to have to put up with my crazy weight battle for the rest of his life. He's always going to have to listen to me complain about my fat butt and wish that I could do something about it, while continuing to eat fried foods, sweets, cream-based sauces, etc.
It doesn't have to be this way, and I know that. Other people can lose weight and keep it off for the rest of their life. Why not me? I know it's possible, rationally. It's my irrational mind that I have to convince now.
Weight this morning: 154.4
Body fat %: 37
Breakfast: Oatmeal, non-fat coconut latte (212 cal)
Lunch: teriyaki chicken with vegetables and rice (est. 550)
Dinner: taco soup with cheddar cheese (est. 5,000,000 calories)
Snacks: banana (110), See's dark chocolate toffee (est. 100), about 3,000 pieces of banana bread (est. 5,000,000 calories), one cookie (est. 50)
Total calories: way too many
Short term goal weight: 136 (healthy BMI!)