havens
in
fitsheaven
I think I might've inhaled you: an edward/jacob fic mix
This is for boundary, who is the reason I even ship E/J in the first place. You've provided me with so much happiness with them, and with you, and I wouldn't want to change anything about all this time we've had together. I've always wanted to create a fanmix for E/J, since it seemed to come so easily to you, but I couldn't. Until now. This was going to just be a fanmix, but then these songs just started inspiring me and I had to write along with them. So now? This is a ficmix, something else that I've never been able to create until now. I hope you like it. I love you, muffin. Happy Birthday! ♥
For those who want to know: Nicolas Bemberg is Edward, and Steven Strait is Jacob. Sorry, Rob and Taylor just don't work for us, and they never will. These two are Edward and Jacob. Our Edward and Jacob.
i think i might've inhaled you.zip
(mp3, zip, 49mb, 8 songs)
001. radiohead - climbing up the walls - download
I am the key to the lock in your house/That keeps your toys in the basement
And if you get too far inside/You'll only see my reflection
“Stay out of my head, leech,” Jacob growls for what he’s sure is the hundredth time.
That damn bloodsucker must love pissing him off because he smirks and laughs and Jacob fumes until he’s balling his hands up into fists and smashing one right into that pale, perfect skin. Cullen only laughs more and grabs Jacob by the shoulders, easily shoving him away. Jacob’s back ends up hitting a tree, but he quickly recovers and launches himself back at the filthy bloodsucker.
This time, the two end up on the cold, hard ground and Jacob has the upper hand as he pushes his forearm against Cullen’s throat. “You’re such an asshole,” he says as he bares his teeth at the vampire below him.
“And you’re obsessed with me,” the leech says and makes sure to smirk even more. “I can see it all, dog. I can see myself reflected in your mind.”
Jacob stares down at him and is unable to think of a thing to say to that.
So instead, he takes the easier route, and punches the bloodsucker again.
002. eels - fresh blood - download
The moon shines in the autumn sky/Growin' cold, the leaves all die
I'm more alone than I've ever been/Help me out of the shape I'm in
“We really need to stop meeting like this,” Jacob drawls, arms crossing as he lazily looks Cullen over. He attempts to keep an air of boredom and lack of interest around him, but it’s clearly not working out because the leech is heading toward him, looking ever so pleased with himself.
When he’s close enough to touch, Jacob puts his hands up and glares. “Look, I don’t know what any of this is, but we actually do need to stop. It’s wrong, okay?”
Cullen shakes his head and takes another step forward; Jacob’s hands are touching him now.
“Is that what you truly want, Jacob? For this to stop?” Cullen asks him with interest.
Jacob can feel the leech in his head, poking around, and immediately becomes infuriated. He shoves at Cullen’s chest, but the bloodsucker takes his hands and pulls Jacob against him. It’s sickening how easily Jacob becomes affected, how quickly he lets Cullen take the upper hand. And when he can feel Cullen’s nose dragging across his shoulder and up his neck, he wants to slap himself for being such a moron.
“You smell wonderful,” Cullen murmurs against his neck before licking at a vein.
“Fuck,” Jacob whispers, then grabs the back of Cullen’s hair, forcing him up and into a rough kiss.
The wolf within him howls.
003. garbage - you look so fine - download
You look so fine/I want to break your heart and give you mine
You're taking me over
After, when Jacob has lost count of which time this after is, they lie upon the ground, flesh covered in dirt and leaves. They stare up at the cloudy sky until Jacob grows bored and looks beside him. Despite being a filthy bloodsucking leech, Cullen is pretty good looking.
“Only pretty good looking, Jacob?” the leech asks. Jacob can hear the amusement in his tone and hates that they’re that familiar with each other now.
“How many times have I told you to stay the hell out of my head?” Jacob growls and punches at Cullen’s shoulder. Cullen only laughs and looks at him, and when he does, Jacob notices that he’s actually grinning. It’s kind of creepy, because he’s never seen Cullen grin before, and he has to look away, look back up at the sky.
“This is so fucked up,” he thinks aloud.
“Yes,” Cullen agrees, “yet we continue on with it. We must both be masochists now, Jacob.”
Jacob chuckles then. “Yeah, maybe,” he sighs and closes his eyes.
Edward Cullen is beginning to take him over, and Jacob is positive this is a very, very, bad thing.
004. arcade of fire - ocean of noise - download
You've got your reasons/And me, I've got mine
But all the reasons I gave/Were just lies to buy myself some time
He’s horny. He’s bored. What else are they supposed to do, play Scrabble?
These are only a few of the many excuses Jacob has come up with to keep this thing between them going. Plus, it isn’t like Cullen is complaining. He’s getting laid regularly, which is a huge change from months ago when the leech wasn’t getting laid at all. Well, neither was Jacob, but that doesn’t matter as much as the fact that Cullen has plenty of his own excuses as well.
Jacob has his reasons, the real ones that are buried deep inside his mind where Cullen can’t touch him. He’s got lots of reasons, some he isn’t even aware of yet, but he’s got them, and he knows Cullen does, too.
Why should this end? They’ve got a good thing going. It doesn’t have to be more than that.
Or that’s what he tells himself late at night when he’s alone in his bed, thinking about how cool fingertips that trace his heated skin feel.
005. tori amos - flavor - download
What does it look like/This orbital ball from the fringes of the milky way
What does it feel like/ This orbital ball on The fringes of the milky way
Raining fla..fla...flavor/I've seen fla..fla...flavor
None of the girls he hooks up with taste like what he’s looking for. They’re sweet, fragrant, and too human. He can’t let loose like he wants, he can’t bite or scratch or fuck. It’s too slow, too safe, and he’s left unsatisfied.
Cullen knows it, too. He teases him about it whenever they meet now, asking how many Jacob’s been with this week, if he’s found the flavor he’s been looking for.
“Perhaps it’s not out there,” Cullen murmurs near his mouth. He breathes out and Jacob shudders, grips his bare hips harder, and forces them to crush against his.
“Edward,” Jacob rasps as he grinds against him. They kiss deeply, and as Edward sucks on his tongue, Jacob tries to figure out when Edward became Edward and not leech, bloodsucker, or Cullen.
006. stateless - bloodstream - download
Wake up, look me in the eyes again/ I need to feel your hand upon my face
Words can relay nice/They can cut you open
And then the silence surrounds you and haunts you
The day he’s been dreading is here and as Edward stands bare before him, all walls and secrets down, Jacob wants to bolt, wants to get out of here as quickly as possible. A part of him won’t allow that, forces him to stay where he is, watching and listening and feeling things he doesn’t think he can deal with right now.
“Jacob,” Edward says with meaning and reaches out. Jacob takes his hand without a thought and swallows his nerves.
“I,” Jacob begins and ends. He breathes, breathes in deeply, and inhales Edward. It’s Edward, all Edward, his scent pouring into him, into his skin, his heart. It screams familiar, screams desire, screams… too much, and Jacob is pulling Edward against him, crushing them together, digging his nails into Edward’s cheeks as he kisses him.
He’s inhaling Edward, every single part of him, and Edward’s doing the same. They’re clinging and touching and feeling and it’s overwhelming, but everything about this is right.
“Stay with me,” Jacob rasps as their kiss ends. Edward looks him in the eye and before he can answer, Jacob is kissing him again and pushing him up against his bedroom wall.
I can feel you in my blood, he thinks as their clothes are shed and their bodies meet his childhood bed.
"I feel you, too" Edward whispers against his cheek. "I feel you."
007. stars - wasted daylight - download
Pulling the body to twist/The thighs, the heels, the hips
Constellation markings/Across your body drawings
Telephone rings/But we'll just let it sing
Hide out till tomorrow/I crawl into your shadow
His body is bruised, although they are fading quickly. He can spot the many marks upon his flesh and closes his eyes, breathing a contented sigh as Edward traces them.
“You seem proud,” Jacob murmurs. Edward smiles against his neck, making his statement the truth. He laughs then, and turns his head to press a kiss to Edward’s hair.
“I don’t think I can move from this spot yet,” Edward whispers to him. Their eyes meet and Jacob’s crinkle as he grins widely, happily at him.
“Me neither,” Jacob says. Edward’s lips call to him and soon they’re kissing again, only it’s soft now, lazy. There’s no need to do anything but lie here together and enjoy one another. There’s no need to rush.
They have plenty of time to do whatever they want now.
008. the xx - islands - download
I am yours now/So now I don't ever have to leave
I've been found out/So now I'll never explore
Morning comes, and Jacob only notices because he can feel the heat of the sun on his skin. Only it’s not as warm as it usually is and as he opens his eyes he can remember why.
Edward is beside him, tangled with him. Jacob can’t really figure out where they separate, and honestly doesn’t feel like figuring it out when he could be doing better things with his time.
“It’s always sex with you,” Edward teases as Jacob rolls over onto him.
Jacob’s eyebrows rise and he presses his forehead to Edward’s. “It’s always sex with you, too, Cullen,” he says with a laugh. “And don’t you forget that.”
Edward begins to scoff, but then laughs instead and runs his hands down Jacob’s back. “I couldn’t forget if I wanted to,” he admits.
“Good,” Jacob says, and then kisses him. “Good morning, by the way,” he says between kisses. Edward grins up at him and it’s such a welcome sight now. That sight makes him feel like he’s on fire, but in a good way. Maybe even the best way, if that’s possible.
“It is possible,” Edward murmurs as he cups Jacob’s cheek. “Anything is possible when it comes to us, Jake.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, and kisses Edward sweetly to prove it. “Now, let’s get to the sexin’, Cullen. I've heard morning sex is all kinds of awesome and I'd like to find out if it's true."
For those who want to know: Nicolas Bemberg is Edward, and Steven Strait is Jacob. Sorry, Rob and Taylor just don't work for us, and they never will. These two are Edward and Jacob. Our Edward and Jacob.
i think i might've inhaled you.zip
(mp3, zip, 49mb, 8 songs)
001. radiohead - climbing up the walls - download
I am the key to the lock in your house/That keeps your toys in the basement
And if you get too far inside/You'll only see my reflection
“Stay out of my head, leech,” Jacob growls for what he’s sure is the hundredth time.
That damn bloodsucker must love pissing him off because he smirks and laughs and Jacob fumes until he’s balling his hands up into fists and smashing one right into that pale, perfect skin. Cullen only laughs more and grabs Jacob by the shoulders, easily shoving him away. Jacob’s back ends up hitting a tree, but he quickly recovers and launches himself back at the filthy bloodsucker.
This time, the two end up on the cold, hard ground and Jacob has the upper hand as he pushes his forearm against Cullen’s throat. “You’re such an asshole,” he says as he bares his teeth at the vampire below him.
“And you’re obsessed with me,” the leech says and makes sure to smirk even more. “I can see it all, dog. I can see myself reflected in your mind.”
Jacob stares down at him and is unable to think of a thing to say to that.
So instead, he takes the easier route, and punches the bloodsucker again.
002. eels - fresh blood - download
The moon shines in the autumn sky/Growin' cold, the leaves all die
I'm more alone than I've ever been/Help me out of the shape I'm in
“We really need to stop meeting like this,” Jacob drawls, arms crossing as he lazily looks Cullen over. He attempts to keep an air of boredom and lack of interest around him, but it’s clearly not working out because the leech is heading toward him, looking ever so pleased with himself.
When he’s close enough to touch, Jacob puts his hands up and glares. “Look, I don’t know what any of this is, but we actually do need to stop. It’s wrong, okay?”
Cullen shakes his head and takes another step forward; Jacob’s hands are touching him now.
“Is that what you truly want, Jacob? For this to stop?” Cullen asks him with interest.
Jacob can feel the leech in his head, poking around, and immediately becomes infuriated. He shoves at Cullen’s chest, but the bloodsucker takes his hands and pulls Jacob against him. It’s sickening how easily Jacob becomes affected, how quickly he lets Cullen take the upper hand. And when he can feel Cullen’s nose dragging across his shoulder and up his neck, he wants to slap himself for being such a moron.
“You smell wonderful,” Cullen murmurs against his neck before licking at a vein.
“Fuck,” Jacob whispers, then grabs the back of Cullen’s hair, forcing him up and into a rough kiss.
The wolf within him howls.
003. garbage - you look so fine - download
You look so fine/I want to break your heart and give you mine
You're taking me over
After, when Jacob has lost count of which time this after is, they lie upon the ground, flesh covered in dirt and leaves. They stare up at the cloudy sky until Jacob grows bored and looks beside him. Despite being a filthy bloodsucking leech, Cullen is pretty good looking.
“Only pretty good looking, Jacob?” the leech asks. Jacob can hear the amusement in his tone and hates that they’re that familiar with each other now.
“How many times have I told you to stay the hell out of my head?” Jacob growls and punches at Cullen’s shoulder. Cullen only laughs and looks at him, and when he does, Jacob notices that he’s actually grinning. It’s kind of creepy, because he’s never seen Cullen grin before, and he has to look away, look back up at the sky.
“This is so fucked up,” he thinks aloud.
“Yes,” Cullen agrees, “yet we continue on with it. We must both be masochists now, Jacob.”
Jacob chuckles then. “Yeah, maybe,” he sighs and closes his eyes.
Edward Cullen is beginning to take him over, and Jacob is positive this is a very, very, bad thing.
004. arcade of fire - ocean of noise - download
You've got your reasons/And me, I've got mine
But all the reasons I gave/Were just lies to buy myself some time
He’s horny. He’s bored. What else are they supposed to do, play Scrabble?
These are only a few of the many excuses Jacob has come up with to keep this thing between them going. Plus, it isn’t like Cullen is complaining. He’s getting laid regularly, which is a huge change from months ago when the leech wasn’t getting laid at all. Well, neither was Jacob, but that doesn’t matter as much as the fact that Cullen has plenty of his own excuses as well.
Jacob has his reasons, the real ones that are buried deep inside his mind where Cullen can’t touch him. He’s got lots of reasons, some he isn’t even aware of yet, but he’s got them, and he knows Cullen does, too.
Why should this end? They’ve got a good thing going. It doesn’t have to be more than that.
Or that’s what he tells himself late at night when he’s alone in his bed, thinking about how cool fingertips that trace his heated skin feel.
005. tori amos - flavor - download
What does it look like/This orbital ball from the fringes of the milky way
What does it feel like/ This orbital ball on The fringes of the milky way
Raining fla..fla...flavor/I've seen fla..fla...flavor
None of the girls he hooks up with taste like what he’s looking for. They’re sweet, fragrant, and too human. He can’t let loose like he wants, he can’t bite or scratch or fuck. It’s too slow, too safe, and he’s left unsatisfied.
Cullen knows it, too. He teases him about it whenever they meet now, asking how many Jacob’s been with this week, if he’s found the flavor he’s been looking for.
“Perhaps it’s not out there,” Cullen murmurs near his mouth. He breathes out and Jacob shudders, grips his bare hips harder, and forces them to crush against his.
“Edward,” Jacob rasps as he grinds against him. They kiss deeply, and as Edward sucks on his tongue, Jacob tries to figure out when Edward became Edward and not leech, bloodsucker, or Cullen.
006. stateless - bloodstream - download
Wake up, look me in the eyes again/ I need to feel your hand upon my face
Words can relay nice/They can cut you open
And then the silence surrounds you and haunts you
The day he’s been dreading is here and as Edward stands bare before him, all walls and secrets down, Jacob wants to bolt, wants to get out of here as quickly as possible. A part of him won’t allow that, forces him to stay where he is, watching and listening and feeling things he doesn’t think he can deal with right now.
“Jacob,” Edward says with meaning and reaches out. Jacob takes his hand without a thought and swallows his nerves.
“I,” Jacob begins and ends. He breathes, breathes in deeply, and inhales Edward. It’s Edward, all Edward, his scent pouring into him, into his skin, his heart. It screams familiar, screams desire, screams… too much, and Jacob is pulling Edward against him, crushing them together, digging his nails into Edward’s cheeks as he kisses him.
He’s inhaling Edward, every single part of him, and Edward’s doing the same. They’re clinging and touching and feeling and it’s overwhelming, but everything about this is right.
“Stay with me,” Jacob rasps as their kiss ends. Edward looks him in the eye and before he can answer, Jacob is kissing him again and pushing him up against his bedroom wall.
I can feel you in my blood, he thinks as their clothes are shed and their bodies meet his childhood bed.
"I feel you, too" Edward whispers against his cheek. "I feel you."
007. stars - wasted daylight - download
Pulling the body to twist/The thighs, the heels, the hips
Constellation markings/Across your body drawings
Telephone rings/But we'll just let it sing
Hide out till tomorrow/I crawl into your shadow
His body is bruised, although they are fading quickly. He can spot the many marks upon his flesh and closes his eyes, breathing a contented sigh as Edward traces them.
“You seem proud,” Jacob murmurs. Edward smiles against his neck, making his statement the truth. He laughs then, and turns his head to press a kiss to Edward’s hair.
“I don’t think I can move from this spot yet,” Edward whispers to him. Their eyes meet and Jacob’s crinkle as he grins widely, happily at him.
“Me neither,” Jacob says. Edward’s lips call to him and soon they’re kissing again, only it’s soft now, lazy. There’s no need to do anything but lie here together and enjoy one another. There’s no need to rush.
They have plenty of time to do whatever they want now.
008. the xx - islands - download
I am yours now/So now I don't ever have to leave
I've been found out/So now I'll never explore
Morning comes, and Jacob only notices because he can feel the heat of the sun on his skin. Only it’s not as warm as it usually is and as he opens his eyes he can remember why.
Edward is beside him, tangled with him. Jacob can’t really figure out where they separate, and honestly doesn’t feel like figuring it out when he could be doing better things with his time.
“It’s always sex with you,” Edward teases as Jacob rolls over onto him.
Jacob’s eyebrows rise and he presses his forehead to Edward’s. “It’s always sex with you, too, Cullen,” he says with a laugh. “And don’t you forget that.”
Edward begins to scoff, but then laughs instead and runs his hands down Jacob’s back. “I couldn’t forget if I wanted to,” he admits.
“Good,” Jacob says, and then kisses him. “Good morning, by the way,” he says between kisses. Edward grins up at him and it’s such a welcome sight now. That sight makes him feel like he’s on fire, but in a good way. Maybe even the best way, if that’s possible.
“It is possible,” Edward murmurs as he cups Jacob’s cheek. “Anything is possible when it comes to us, Jake.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, and kisses Edward sweetly to prove it. “Now, let’s get to the sexin’, Cullen. I've heard morning sex is all kinds of awesome and I'd like to find out if it's true."
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