Hmmm.
Yeah, this has definitely been a month of disappointments, one after the next, actually. The most recent: the visit from my [former] gf.
I knew in advance that she and her husband were coming with M, but it turns out that M2 joined them as well! OMG! So, instead of them staying with us, I found out the day before that they were going to get a suite instead. And, reasonably so, since we're not really equipped to comfortably house four guests in our current location.
My [former] gf called rather late on Saturday. That is, AFTER she, her hub and two friends (one of whom is one of my friends, one of whom I'd heard of, but had never met) were done with their plans for the day. She announced that she was waaaaaaaay more tired than she thought (again, reasonably so... she is 8 months pregnant, after all), and was going to bed while her husband and the two Ms went drinking. It's just as well... I'd been having a fairly crappy/stressful day, and didn't feel like going anywhere, and my poor bf was still stuck on the road... there was no way he was going to make it back "in time", and I wanted to be home when he arrived. We decided to meet on Sunday.
The original plan for Sunday was to have breakfast together, spend some time hanging out and taking it easy before they hit the road home. She called at 10 am and said no one would be able to get organized until 1 pm, and so that's when we met. 1p m. Everyone liked the restaurant I chose, so I suppose that made brunch enjoyable enough, but then at 2 pm... "Look at the time! Gotta go!"
How totally weird.
I think I can say that I better understand what it must be like for gay couples when one is out of the closet and has to fake being "just a friend" for the sake of the other. It's not cool.
Hmmm. That's a much more serious situation, though... mine definitely wasn't THAT big of a deal because I'm in love with my bf more than anyone else in the world, and she and I never said we loved each other. Yes, what I experienced is extremely different, but at the moment, it's the only way I can think to describe how it felt.
Funny... it feels like it wouldn't have mattered if I saw her at all, because I pretty much DIDN'T see her in the sense that I didn't see the C I know. True, her life must be so different now - she's going to give birth in a month, and perhaps she's decided to put her days of dating women behind her? It's not my business to judge, but I don't think denying/hiding/concealing/suppressing a part of yourself for the sake of child is a good idea. I hope, for her sake, that it doesn't manifest into some damaging expression (i.e. raising the child to be homophobic).
Anyway... this all feels too personal to get into right now, but I just thought I'd post a lil' update. After almost a month of giddiness about her visit, I saw her for an hour, and it was entirely neutral. We exchanged bday presents... I got her a sparkling ring to wear when she gets back into performing after her baby is born, and she got me a belly ring ;-) Now I have two new ones!
I knew in advance that she and her husband were coming with M, but it turns out that M2 joined them as well! OMG! So, instead of them staying with us, I found out the day before that they were going to get a suite instead. And, reasonably so, since we're not really equipped to comfortably house four guests in our current location.
My [former] gf called rather late on Saturday. That is, AFTER she, her hub and two friends (one of whom is one of my friends, one of whom I'd heard of, but had never met) were done with their plans for the day. She announced that she was waaaaaaaay more tired than she thought (again, reasonably so... she is 8 months pregnant, after all), and was going to bed while her husband and the two Ms went drinking. It's just as well... I'd been having a fairly crappy/stressful day, and didn't feel like going anywhere, and my poor bf was still stuck on the road... there was no way he was going to make it back "in time", and I wanted to be home when he arrived. We decided to meet on Sunday.
The original plan for Sunday was to have breakfast together, spend some time hanging out and taking it easy before they hit the road home. She called at 10 am and said no one would be able to get organized until 1 pm, and so that's when we met. 1p m. Everyone liked the restaurant I chose, so I suppose that made brunch enjoyable enough, but then at 2 pm... "Look at the time! Gotta go!"
How totally weird.
I think I can say that I better understand what it must be like for gay couples when one is out of the closet and has to fake being "just a friend" for the sake of the other. It's not cool.
Hmmm. That's a much more serious situation, though... mine definitely wasn't THAT big of a deal because I'm in love with my bf more than anyone else in the world, and she and I never said we loved each other. Yes, what I experienced is extremely different, but at the moment, it's the only way I can think to describe how it felt.
Funny... it feels like it wouldn't have mattered if I saw her at all, because I pretty much DIDN'T see her in the sense that I didn't see the C I know. True, her life must be so different now - she's going to give birth in a month, and perhaps she's decided to put her days of dating women behind her? It's not my business to judge, but I don't think denying/hiding/concealing/suppressing a part of yourself for the sake of child is a good idea. I hope, for her sake, that it doesn't manifest into some damaging expression (i.e. raising the child to be homophobic).
Anyway... this all feels too personal to get into right now, but I just thought I'd post a lil' update. After almost a month of giddiness about her visit, I saw her for an hour, and it was entirely neutral. We exchanged bday presents... I got her a sparkling ring to wear when she gets back into performing after her baby is born, and she got me a belly ring ;-) Now I have two new ones!