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im feelin what they call "emo" right now...i saw a picture of my ex on myspace a few min ago, and then all these feelings,memories and thoughts started rushing through my head. thought about "what if i had acted different, what if i had been more open, what if i had acted differently" and so much more i cant even start to comprehend.
i know its been over a year, but i still keep thinkin about her, and i dont know why. i know i shouldnt, she totally broke my heart cause i was told by her best friend that she had been cheating on me the whole time we were dating, which was 8/9 months.
we kinda talked AIM a few months after she moved, after i thought i had gotten over her, and i thougtht things were goin good, just talkin as friends an what not. then out of no where she starts talkin about suicide and doesnt sign on for weeks, i start to think again more what if's. i dont know why i think so much about a person who's hurt me like she did
then a few months later i randomly do a search on her on myspace (cause almost EVERYONE is on it) and i find her, and we start talkin on AIM again. then again she just disappears. then recently i did a search again, i dont know why i just did, and there she is still signing into myspace, but she deletes me from it and blocks me on AIM.
dont know why i keep searchin for her page and look at it every so often just to see what shes up too. but anyways shes never had a real pic of her up jus little aim buddy icons, and i checked tonite for no good reason and i see she added a real pic. my heart sunk...all these thoughts and emotions came back and i got all depressed. now im not one to get depressed, but i did :/
and now im thankful for this god damn emo LJ, cause its a way for me to express myself in a way that i normally wouldnt be able too, so if anyone reads this, great. if not oh well, im just glad i got it out of my system.
i know its been over a year, but i still keep thinkin about her, and i dont know why. i know i shouldnt, she totally broke my heart cause i was told by her best friend that she had been cheating on me the whole time we were dating, which was 8/9 months.
we kinda talked AIM a few months after she moved, after i thought i had gotten over her, and i thougtht things were goin good, just talkin as friends an what not. then out of no where she starts talkin about suicide and doesnt sign on for weeks, i start to think again more what if's. i dont know why i think so much about a person who's hurt me like she did
then a few months later i randomly do a search on her on myspace (cause almost EVERYONE is on it) and i find her, and we start talkin on AIM again. then again she just disappears. then recently i did a search again, i dont know why i just did, and there she is still signing into myspace, but she deletes me from it and blocks me on AIM.
dont know why i keep searchin for her page and look at it every so often just to see what shes up too. but anyways shes never had a real pic of her up jus little aim buddy icons, and i checked tonite for no good reason and i see she added a real pic. my heart sunk...all these thoughts and emotions came back and i got all depressed. now im not one to get depressed, but i did :/
and now im thankful for this god damn emo LJ, cause its a way for me to express myself in a way that i normally wouldnt be able too, so if anyone reads this, great. if not oh well, im just glad i got it out of my system.